annke 独立作文贴

annkeUID: 2605122

5.7
8.8北美
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform.

Teachers, who play a crucial role in modern society, cultivate young generation, preserve culture and knowledge. No one could deny that they definitely make an extraordinary contribution to human society. However, how to judge their contribution, actually how to pay them has become a heated topic recently. Some people believe teachers should be paid according to their students performance considering that only by this way can teachers be encouraged to devote in teaching. In my opinion, it is hardly a fair way because numerous additional factors associated with students' performance.

First of all, students have different gifts, they come from different families and various places, so even they receive the same education of a same teacher, they probably perform distinguishingly on academy, even though a twins will inevitably differ between each other in learning. If teachers are required to be responsible for students performance, otherwise their salary would be affected. One outcome is teachers working hard to raise students' marks and ignore any other aspects, like mental development and character shape. Another possible serious consequence is that they incline to pray for luck, for they almost cannot choose smart students or students with potential to get high scores. In my opinion, both consequences are not we desire.

Secondly, there is no objective ways to measure to what extent, students can be regard as perform well. For example, if a student is good at painting and is prospective to be an excellent artist in the future, under an exam-oriented system he or she cannot be thought as good and won't increase the teachers' payment. So teachers will risk their salary to keep that student's art genius, which definitely is not our society's goal.

In my opinion, an complete and better system should be promoted to judge how much teachers will get.
Basic salary is a fair way to give all teachers the same status, and bonus added to inspire teachers become more efficient and effective, the icing on the cake,various performance measures should be included for that every students is different from each other.

Natalie蝶UID: 2806232

分组之前按捺不住看了~~哈哈~~提个小建议：我觉得LL的句子很流畅，而且用词灵活，但是如果整篇文章的结构安排的平衡一点的话会不会好一点，第一个理由展开的太多，有点拖沓，第二个理由是不是可以再展开一点呢？第二个理由hard to find an appropriate standard to tell whether a student perform well可以推出，for most of time, people simply use score as the sole criterion which inevitably results in blindly pursuit of high academic score while neglect of comprehensive cultivation. 同时抹杀了students' potential

annkeUID: 2605122

5.8 09.4.3 NA

The best way to improve the quality of the education in a country is to increase teacher's salaries.
Word count 448

Teachers, accredited as "the engineer of human's mind", play a significant role in modern society, they cultivate young generation, preserve culture and generate new knowledge. Nowadays, how to improve the quality of the education as well as how to motivate teachers have been concerned by the  entire society. Some people insist that the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers’ salaries. However, in my opinion, this measure is too extreme and probably fail to achieve what they really want.

As everybody knows,  booming of education deserves systematical plan, from facilities to faculties. Because all too often we observe there are many various obstacles in a poor education. For example, textbooks written decades ago are still prevalent used in schools, even entitled with traditional classics. Lacking proper equipments such as computers, data base, and comprehensive libraries, there is inevitable students cannot build up abilities leading them survive in fierce competition. Without analyzing the fundamental problems of current problematic education, simple claiming increasing teacher's salaries may not arrive the goal of improving the quality of the education.

Tempting as the assertion is, even there are some advantages of raising teachers' payment, this measure merely become the best way to improve the quality of education. Admittedly, more salary will encourage teachers' activities, they are likely to feel satisfactory about the treatment and prone to concentrate on teaching or doing research, which undoubtedly contribute to better education. However, what we should not neglect is the fact higher salaries might temporarily satisfy teachers. As economy develop at a considerable rate, the increasing of salary cannot keep pace with the rising of good price and life expense. Therefore, if teachers are only motivated by salary, the best is they are capable of devoting on work temporarily, the worst is they tend to work hard only guaranteed by promotion, at that time they might no longer qualified to be respected as  the engineer of human's mind. In a word, dependence on increasing salaries of teachers not only cannot best improve education, but also lead to degrading the social status of teachers.

However, finding a best way to propel education is not an easy mission, as mentioned before, it demands consideration from all the sides. Government should give more fund to schools to introduce more beneficial equipment,  and family or community had better join hands together to supplement, as potential areas beyond a teacher's reach. Therefore, I disagree with the statement "The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is increasing teachers' salaries."

hzd515976083UID: 2487213

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3# annke 5.8 09.4.3 NA
The best way to improve the quality of the education in acountry is to increase teacher's salaries.
Word count 448
Teachers, accredited as [这是认证的意思，感觉不是很合适]"the engineer of human's mind", play a significant role in modernsociety, they cultivate young generation, preserve culture and generate newknowledge. Nowadays, how to improve the quality of the education as well as howto motivate teachers have been concerned by the entire society. Some peopleinsist that the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is toincrease teachers’ salaries. However, in my opinion, this measure is tooextreme and probably fail [fails] to achievewhat they really want.
As everybody knows, booming of education deservessystematical plan, from facilities to faculties. [这个好] Because all toooften we observe there are many various obstacles in a poor education. Forexample, textbooks written decades ago are still prevalent [我只会用popular，学习了] used in schools, even entitled with traditionalclassics. Lacking proper equipments such as computers, data base, and comprehensivelibraries, there is inevitable students cannot build up abilities leading themsurvive in fierce competition. Without analyzing the fundamental problems ofcurrent problematic education, simple [simply]claiming increasing teacher's salaries may not arrive the goal of improving thequality of the education.
Tempting as the assertion is [头一次见，楼主这篇文章让我受益匪浅],even there are some advantages of raising teachers' payment, this measuremerely become the best way to improve the quality of education. [这句话的意思好像表达反了] Admittedly, more salary will encourage teachers'activities, [and] they are likely to feelsatisfactory about the treatment and prone to concentrate on teaching or doingresearch, which undoubtedly contribute to better education. However, what weshould not neglect is the fact higher salaries might temporarily satisfyteachers. As economy develop at a considerable rate, the increasing of salarycannot keep pace with the rising of good price and life expense. Therefore, ifteachers are only motivated by salary, the best is they are capable of devotingon work temporarily, the worst is they tend to work hard only guaranteed bypromotion, at that time they might no longer qualified to be respected as
the engineer of human's mind. In a word,dependence on increasing salaries of teachers not only cannot best improveeducation, but also lead to degrading the social status of teachers. [这一段我看起来比较绕，建议整理一下思路]
However, finding a best way to propel education is not aneasy mission, as mentioned before, it demands consideration from all the sides.Government should give more fund to schools to introduce more beneficialequipment,
and family or community hadbetter join hands together to supplement, as potential areas beyond a teacher'sreach. Therefore, I disagree with the statement "The best way to improvethe quality of education in a country is increasing teachers' salaries."

annkeUID: 2605122

5.9 08.5.9 NA是应该放更多的钱在access internet 上，而不是public transportation 同意还是不要?

In recent years, there is a heated discussion about which should be given the financial support precedence, accessing Internet or public transportation. In my opinion, both of them have particular importance.

Speaking of Internet, there is no one could deny that Internet is playing a more and more crucial role in a country's development, thus any government will be inevitably regretful  if they are slow to provide sufficient fiscal support on Internet. Internet has been prevalent applied nowadays. With Internet-based tests, students can access different kinds of tests delivered by any institutions no matter which continent they are. Also, individuals can easily approach massive information with simply clicking on the button of their mouse. For industry, Internet is used as an efficient way to update technology, calculation as well as promoting products sales. It is hard to imagine how the world would be if modern citizens are not able to surf on the Internet. Thus any a provident government won't miss up the opportunity to provision better service for their citizens, more importantly, they would try their best to keep up with the pace of time and embrace the advent of Information age. Therefore, there is no reason to delay supporting the development of Internet.

On the other hand, public transportation has proved being an powerful tool to stimulate the development of a country's economy. With complete and efficient public transportation, agricultural products can be quickly conveyed to cities, at the same time, the industrial produce have convenient ways leading to rural areas, which definitely improve the communication and make a communal balanced development. between city and countryside  As everybody knows, the general public transportation system involves several parts, public transportation in cities including bus, subway, taxi, air transportation, highways and so forth, which have various influence on individuals' lives. Hence, it is government's responsibility to supply necessary funds on public transportation issue, only in this way can the entire society benefit from the economy booming as well as comfortable lives.

As mentioned above, it is a real dilemma to choose between Internet issue and public transportation. Because the fiscal money is limited, the more money is applied to improve Internet, the less can be utilized on public transportation, so a considerable and balanced division will be favorable. According to my perspective, in current moment, China government might put more attention on popularizing the Internet.
罚抄：dilemma dilemma dilemma dilemma dilemma, communal communal communal, communal, communal, agricultural, agriculture, agricultural, agricultural, inevitable inevitable, inevitably, inevitably, inevitably, inevitably,

tgbzsqUID: 2511368

The best way to improve the quality of the education in a country is to increase teacher's salaries.
Word count 448

Teachers, accredited as "the engineer of human's mind", play a significant role in modern society, they cultivate young generation, preserve culture and generate new knowledge. Nowadays, how to improve the quality of the education as well as how to motivate teachers have been concerned by the entire society. Some people insist that the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers’ salaries. However, in my opinion, this measure is too extreme and probably fails to achieve what they really want.

As everybody knows, booming of education deservesrequires a systematical plan, ranging from facilities to faculties. Because all too often we observe there are many various obstacles in a poor education. For example, textbooks written decades ago are still prevalent used in schools, even entitled with traditional classics. Lacking proper equipments such as computers, data base, and comprehensive libraries, there is inevitable (It is inevitable that ？) students cannot build up abilities leading them survive in fierce competition. Without analyzing the fundamental problems of current problematic education, simple claiming increasing teacher's salaries may not arrive reach/ arrive at the goal of improving the quality of the education.

Tempting as the assertion is, even there are some advantages of raising teachers' payment, this measure merely become the best way to improve the quality of education. Admittedly, more salary will encourage teachers'  activities, they are likely to feel satisfactory about the treatment and prone to concentrate on teaching or doing research, which undoubtedly contribute to better education. However, what we should not neglect is the fact higher salaries might temporarily satisfy teachers. As economy develop at a considerable rate, the increasing of salary cannot keep pace with the rising of good price and life expense.不是很懂这里的逻辑 Therefore, if teachers are only motivated by salary, the best is they are capable of devoting on work temporarily, the worst is they tend to work hard only guaranteed by promotion, at that time they might no longer qualified to be respected as the engineer of human's mind. In a word, dependence on increasing salaries of teachers not only cannot best improve education, but also lead to degrading the social status of teachers.

However, finding a best way to propel education is not an easy mission, as mentioned abovebefore, it demands consideration from all the sides. Government should give more funding to schools to introduce more beneficial equipment, and family or community had better join hands together to supplement, as potential areas beyond a teacher's reach. Therefore, I disagree with the statement "The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is increasing teachers' salaries."

楼主的英语很娴熟啊，不过第三段如果能再组织一下我觉得就更完美了

annkeUID: 2605122

Tempting as the assertion is, even there are some advantages of raising teachers' payment, this measure barely become the best way to improve the quality of education. Admittedly, more salary will encourage teachers'  activities, they are likely to feel satisfactory about the treatment and prone to concentrate on teaching or doing research, which undoubtedly contribute to better education. However, what we should not neglect is the fact higher salaries might temporarily satisfy teachers. As economy develop at considerable=unprecedent rate, the increasing of salary cannot keep pace with the rising of good price and life expense. Therefore, if teachers are only motivated by salary, the best is they are capable of devoting on work temporarily, the worst is they tend to work hard only guaranteed by promotion, at that time they might no longer qualified to be respected as the engineer of human's mind. In a word, dependence on increasing salaries of teachers not only cannot best improve education, but also lead to degrading the social status of teachers.

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

5.9 修改 by 暧暧

见附件。

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annkeUID: 2605122

是telephone 还是television对人类的有more effects?

In the latest 100 years, copious inventions have come into being bringing people a great deal of convenience, excitement, and dramatically change people's behaviors and minds. Among them, two preeminent representatives are telephone and television. To judge which one greater impose on human beings is really a dilemma, for either of them have their own merits in particular aspects.

Telephone, invented in last century, makes scattered people connecting together. It is undeniable that telephone has more positive influence on promoting interpersonal communication than that does television. With telephone, couples and lovers do not need tolerate the bitter miss of separating since they can call each other wherever they are and whenever they are missing their partner , at least such bitter taste has been effectively mitigated.  More importantly, many people are not capable of saying something to another one due to various reasons like embarrassment or fear, but they can easily express themselves in telephone, which definitely results in better communication. As for me, I would get completely nervous when interviewing with employers or administrators from America universities, however, when I taking a tele-interview last month, I found myself get rid of previous upset feeling and present more calm. Besides, telephones have updated to cell phone, so it become more and more mobile and cheap that even every high school students have an fashioned cell phone in their bags. In a word, telephones greatly improve personal contact, people assisted by telephone are easier, more convenient and more effective to communicate.

On the other hand, television has a massive influence on shaping people' minds and behaviors. Initially, according to a recent research conducted by Florida University, people in United States spend 4 hours per day on watching television on average, which has become the dominant entertainment activity. Therefore, there is no doubt that people can be strongly affected by television. The advertisements direct people how to dress and what should own for these goods can make them feel better and cooler. Furthermore, the television programs like talk shows severely changed people's minds. Nowadays, people are more respectful about homosexual individuals and build up a mind of protecting environment, in which television play a crucial role. However, what we should know is television also have negative impacts on people. Think about how many pulp movies, and porn adult programs delivered. And the bad news is, the group frequently watching these programs is the teenager, which terribly affect their health.

As mentioned above, both television and telephone render widespread influence on people and society. It is too hard to me to choose one. While if the choice is required by force, I prefer to telephone considering telephone might have less negative effects than television does.

annkeUID: 2605122

5.11  09.1.10 NA
do you agree or disagree that improving schools is the most factor in successful development of country ？

Nowadays, the whole society has be aware of the importance of education, and among the education issue, people mostly concern about improving schools, considering it as the most factor in successful development of country. In my opinion, improving schools is a crucial part of education because of its main position in cultivating young generation, therefore, I propose the statement above.

Initially, no one could deny the significance of education, especially the school education has a irreplaceable role in promoting a country's economy. History is abound such examples. Germany, which was defeated in the World War Two, were suffering a terrible economy because of invasion. Instead of stimulating economy developing directly, Germany government provide a great amount of money to build primary schools and universities, then within a short period of 20 years, Germany has revitalized as the most powerful country in Europe Union and one of most influential countries in the planet. I believe it is the school improvement that helped provide Germany sufficient qualified workers and excellent scientists and scholars, with these human resource could Germany enjoyed a boom after the War. Therefore, in order to develop a country's economy, government should put emphasis on education and strongly support improving schools.

Moreover, students spend most time in schools during their growing, and it is in the schools that they have opportunities to build up a comprehensive knowledge structure. As everybody knows, children are required to enter primary school since they are 7 years old, and they begin to recognize the nature and explore the society in different classes, such as mathematics, physics, chemistry, art, philosophy, history and so on. These subjects provide students a roughly complete picture of the world. More importantly, students in schools obtain the learning methods assisting by teachers. Another significant factor in school education is the teacher, who not only give students knowledge and expand horizon, but also provide them scientific learning methods, which cannot be replaced by parents or reading books alone. In a word, only in schools can young children access to a systematic knowledge structure and effective learning means. And only the  young generation of a country have a true learning ability can they become reliable to developing a country.

However, what we should bear in mind are other factors in successful development of country, such as facility building, creating job opportunities. A wise government will have a specific plan of developing country which reasonably combining improving schools and other crucial factors.

hzd515976083UID: 2487213

12# annke annke
5.11
09.1.10 NA
do you agree or disagree that improving schools is the mostfactor in successful development of country?
Nowadays, the whole society has be [been]aware of the importance of education, and among the education issue, peoplemostly concern about improving schools, considering it as the most factor insuccessful development of country. In my opinion, improving schools is acrucial part of education because of its main position in cultivating younggeneration, [and] therefore, I propose the statementabove.
Initially, no one could deny the significance of education,especially the school education has a irreplaceable role in promoting acountry's economy. History is abound [abounding]such examples. Germany, which was defeated in the World War Two, were [was] suffering a terrible economy because of invasion[这里有歧义，是侵犯别人还是被侵犯]. Instead of stimulating economy developing[development] directly, Germany governmentprovide [provided] a great amount of money tobuild primary schools and universities, then within a short period of 20 years,Germany has [had] revitalized as the mostpowerful country in Europe Union [战后20年还没有欧盟]and one of most influential countries in [on]the planet. I believe it is the school improvement that helped provide [provided] Germanysufficient qualified workers and excellent scientists and scholars, with these human resource [whom] could Germany enjoyed a boom after the War.Therefore, in order to develop a country's economy, government should putemphasis on education and strongly support improving schools.
Moreover, students spend most time in schools during theirgrowing, and it is in the schools that they have opportunities to build up acomprehensive knowledge structure. As everybody knows [Asis known to us all], children are required to enter primary school since[删去they are] 7 years old, andthey begin to recognize the nature and explore the society in differentclasses, such as mathematics, physics, chemistry, art, philosophy, history andso on. These subjects provide students a roughly complete picture of the world.More importantly, students in schools obtain the learning methods assisting byteachers. Another significant factor in school education is the teacher, whonot only give [gives] students knowledge andexpand [expands their] horizon, but also provide[provides] them scientific learning methods,which cannot be replaced by parents or reading books alone. In a word, only inschools can young children access to a systematic knowledge structure andeffective learning means. And only the young generation of a country have [has] a true learning ability can they become reliable[reliable有点奇怪] to developing acountry.
However, what we should bear in mind are other factors insuccessful development of country, such as facility building, creating jobopportunities. A wise government will have a specific plan of developingcountry which reasonably combining improving schools and other crucial factors.

tsinghua10UID: 2811683

5.11  09.1.10 NA; z: n/ z+ L3 W, K7 B2 rdo you agree or disagree that improving schools is the most factor in successful development of country ？3 P: ?5 ^3 W! f5 }+ pNowadays, the whole society has be--been aware of the importance of education, and among the education issue, people mostly concern about improving schools, considering it as the most factor in successful development of country. In my opinion, improving schools is a crucial part of education because of its main position in cultivating young generation,---;  therefore是副词，不能串句哈, I propose the statement above.Initially, no one could deny the significance of education, especially the school education has a irreplaceable role in promoting a country's economy. -----串句run-on sentence 问题看来是要注意啦，句子之间一定要有并列连词或者从属连词，这样的句子是错误滴~~  
History is abound---~ in/with sth不及物动词，注意词性；is不可以和它一起用啊~ such examples. Germany, which was defeated in the World War Two, were suffering a terrible economy because of invasion.
Instead of stimulating economy developing directly
---我明白你的意思，但不能这样表达，改为：Instead of directly stimulating economic development;  or stimulating economy to develop first; or Instead of giving priority to economic developemtn, Germany government provides a great amount of money to build primary schools and universities----primary schools, high schools and universities, etc这样感觉更连贯, ---再次强调串句的问题， 可以用分号； 或者加一个连词，切忌不能这样把两个句子写在一起哦~then within a short period of 20 years, Germany has revitalized as the most powerful country in Europe Union and one of most influential countries in the planet---Do not say 'in a planet'. Say on a planet..
I believe it is the school improvement that helped provide Germany sufficient qualified workers and excellent scientists and scholars,---； with these human resource could Germany enjoyed a boom after the War. ---只有with这个不是倒装句，改为：Only with these human resource could Germany enjoy a booming economy after the war.
Therefore, in order to develop a country's economy, government should put emphasis on education and strongly support improving schools.Moreover, students spend most of their time in schools during their growing---这个表达不太地道when they are growing, and it is in the schools that they have opportunities to build up a comprehensive knowledge structure. As everybody knows, children are required to enter primary school since they are 7 years old, and they begin to recognize the nature and explore the society in different classes, such as mathematics, physics, chemistry, art, philosophy, history and so on. These subjects provide students a roughly complete picture of the world---不错~ . More importantly, students in schools obtain the learning methods assisting---assisted要用分词，就要该清楚其逻辑主语，是主动还是被动哈 by teachers. Another significant factor in school education is the teacher, who not only give students knowledge and expand their horizon, but also provide them scientific learning methods, which cannot be replaced by parents or reading books alone. In a word, only in schools can young children access to a systematic knowledge structure and effective learning means.---这才是强调句嘛~  
And only the young generation of a country have a true learning ability can they become reliable to developing a country.----这句表达怪怪的，改为：And only when young generation have obtained analytical, logical and learning ability could them become the staunch rock and endless resources of their nation.
这一段似乎只有最后一句才successful development of a nation 有点关系，前面全都是在说科目多，老师好，只有上学才能怎样怎样~~ 我觉得逻辑上还要在调整，一定要往国家成功发展上面靠。为什么教育，促进学校发展对国家来说最重要，要围绕这个观点提供，比如2个理由，这两个理由一定要都和主题相关啊。
另外，好像用了3处强调句，读了会有审美疲劳的~~ ^^  试着多变换一下句式吧~~
6 M, V0 N1 y6 o ---这句摆到这句表达怪怪的是---潇洒& p# s. K( n/ j1 O: zHowever, what we should bear in mind are other factors in successful development of country, such as facility building---不带这样儿说的哈~~, creating job opportunities.---列举两个例子，中间最好加个and.  A wise government will have a specific plan of developing country which reasonably combining improving schools and other crucial factors.
结尾有点仓促，再深化一下。

Noes：
注意避免串句和语法错误，还有搭配
注意表达要地道一点，最起码要说清楚你的意思哈~~
加油！
                                                         2010-5-12 By Tsinghua10

annkeUID: 2605122

5.12 09.1.17 NA
Advertising is the only main cause of the unhealthy eating habits.
Nowadays, more and more complaints about advertising arise. People see advertising on Television, on magazines, on the roads, or even on their offices. Advertising is fiercely opposed by citizens not only out of wide spreading but more importantly due to their bad effects on building people's eating habits. However, according to my perspective, advertising is not the only main cause of the unhealthy eating habits.
Plausible as it seems that many advertising today recommend people eat fast food like KFC or McDonald's, as well as packet snacks, such as potato chips and carbon dioxide soft drinks,  the real reason why people prefer such junk food is the fast speed and high pressure of modern life. As everybody knows, people are so exhausted at work that they cannot figure out time to considering about meals, not mention to cook healthy food for themselves. Therefore, most of them subconsciously or unconsciously choose to eat in a fast food restaurant and eat a great mount of junk food. In conclusion, unhealthy eating habits, such as eating fast food and snacks to a great extent come out of high pressure and fast speed of modern life.
There are numerous other factors contributing to the unhealthy eating habits. For example, as the life expenses rise day by day, restaurants and food manufacturing cannot afford fresh and nutritious materials, so many food produced contains a lot of cholesterol and toxins. Moreover in order to maintain customers, they incline to add considerable conditions, such as salt, and spices, which might cause other negative effects on bodies. Besides, many children and teenagers are in favor of fried and basted food and sweet snacks, then food companies and fast food retainers have sufficient reasons to provide such food to make a profit. In a word, all these reasons mentioned above contribute to unhealthy eating habits of people.
However, it is admittedly that advertisements stimulate people's motivation to eat those well-packed "delicious" food which unfortunately contain too much salt, fat, sugar, and additives. Also, advertisements give a fancy impression about these juke food which represent a fashionable and style on the advertisements, thus it inevitably mislead individuals, especially children to choose such food. Therefore, advertisements are also partly responsible for people's unhealthy habits.
In my opinion, it is obviously that advertisements not only dramatically promote the unhealthy habits, but also intentionally misdirect people's consumer habits, however, we should consider other factors like, the pursuit of money by manufacturing and high pressure of modern society. Because without such factors junk food have little possibility to root in the market.