懒人的composition book

懒人一枚UID: 2838780

菜鸟的作文本

懒人一枚UID: 2838780

Sometimes, if you can not say anything nice to someone, you should say nothing at all.

I guess most people would say nothing if they could not say anything nice, I agree with them, although it depend on the situation.

Sometimes when we have a conversation with someone who our senior leaders are, they might ask us for our opinions which we held totally negative. On one hand, if we try to be honest and say that we really think, they might feel they are getting offend and lost their face. As a consequence of this we would loss the opportunity to get promotion. On the other hand, we do not want to say something against our opinion and flatter them, so we just say nothing at all.

Also, I would rather to keep quiet for those people who I do not know very well. Since we are not familiar with their character each other, they might ask us out of  politeness and do not really want to know our opinions.  In this case, we should be careful about the  way of speaking. If we really have nothing nice to say, maybe it is the best way to keep our opinions to our self.

Even to friends, sometimes it is also dificult to say something nice. Although we should be open and honest to point out the weakness of friends,  they could be got angry after listening to us. Out of fear to loss them make us to hesitat to tell the truth or not, so we make the decision to say nothing at all.

大家使劲批，最好能针对性给点指导建议，看什么书或者资料，O(∩_∩)O谢谢

KeeeeenWUID: 2592937

I guess most people wouldsay nothing if they could not say anything nice, I agree with them, although itdepend on the situation.

Sometimes when we have aconversation with someone who our senior leaders are, they might ask us for ouropinions which we held totally negative. On the one hand,if we try to be honest and say that we really think, they might feel they aregetting offend and lost their face. As a consequence of this Asresult, we would loss the opportunity to get promotion. On theother hand, we do not want to say something against our opinion to and flatterthem, so we just say nothing at all.这段说得很清楚，观点表述很好。# Y6 A-
ze2 Y' H+ o; C0 a! [+
Also, I would rather tokeep quiet for those people who I do not know very well. Since we are notfamiliar with their character each other, they might ask us outof  politeness and do not really want to know ouropinions.  In this case, we should be careful aboutthe  way of speaking. If we really have nothing nice to say, maybe itis the best way to keep our opinions to our self.7 w9 u: M* W) c8 Y

Even to friends, sometimes it isalso dificult(difficult) to say something nice. Although we should be open and honest topoint out the weakness of friends,  they could be got angry afterlistening to us. Out of fear to loss them make us to hesitat to tell the truthor not, so we make the decision to say nothing at all. * ]! P- _% K% [& X3 a


你的观点表述很清晰，只是可能接触托福作文时间不长，格式和内容都有点不熟悉。在开篇第一段，你应该抬出自己的观点，这个你做得不错，只是建议在抬出自己观点的时候，要么从正方、要么从反方，不要说这个depend on the situation. 托福作文是应试作文，有时间限制，从两方面写通常很耗时间来组织逻辑；我最早写的时候也喜欢从两方面写，后来发现，两方面写很容易把自己搅浑，而且文章没有重点。如果只从一方面写，一般在接下来两段中运用不同的两个方面来证明你的观点。最后一段一般是结尾段，总结观点。

还有一个是词汇问题，尽量运用托福里背过的单词来替换一些简单的单词，但不要不清楚单词的用法而盲目得用，这样可能弄巧成拙。

tmdxlpUID: 2745223

Sometimes, if you can not say anything nice to someone, you should say nothing at all.

I guess most people would say nothing if they could not say anything nice, I agree with them, although it depend on the situation.

Sometimes when we have a conversation with someone who our senior leaders are, they might ask us for our opinions which we held totally negative. On one hand, ( 觉得on one hand, 和下面的on the other hand 应该去掉) if we try to be honest and say that we really think, they might feel they are getting offend and lost their face. As a consequence of this we would loss the opportunity to get promotion. On the other hand,( On the other hand 改为So if) we do not want to say something against our opinion and flatter them, so （去掉）we just say nothing at all.

Also, I would rather to keep quiet for those people who I do not know very well. Since we are not familiar with their character each other, they might ask us out of politeness and do not really want to know our opinions.  In this case, we should be careful about the way of speaking. If we really have nothing nice to say, maybe it is the best way to keep our opinions to our self.

Even to friends, sometimes it is also difficult to say something nice. Although we should be open and honest to point out the weakness of friends, they could be got angry after listening to us. Out of fear to loss them make us to hesitate to tell the truth or not, so we make the decision to say nothing at all.

除了楼上指出的缺点，我加上了我对一段小小的看法。

感觉lz基本没有什么的语法错误，主要是文章结构的问题，还有，感觉字数比较少，还有缺乏一些例子。

建议lz看一两篇托福范文，或许可以提高一下理解

懒人一枚UID: 2838780

谢谢ls两位点评，我个人也感觉词汇量不够，主要是主动词汇量不够，用法搭配都差很多，而且对托福的题型刚刚了解。
on one hand那个我自己也觉得不大对。而且确实字数少，我对这题目有点没奈何，不知如何下手，尤其是例子。

谢谢帮忙，大家共同进步！

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

哎呀好巧啊 这是我的考试题...

KeeeeenWUID: 2592937

6# 我是chineselady

这题你当时在规定时间写完了？？ 好难呀

懒人一枚UID: 2838780

Nowadays the rhythm of life is becoming much more faster, especially in large cities, which is accompanied by a series of social problems such as psychological and marital problems.It is hard for people to find proper time to slow down and enjoy the life. If I can choose, I would like to take a job with more vacation time rather than one with high salary but less vacation time.

First of all, it would benefit for children if parents could take more vacation and spend more time with them. Otherwise, if parents were concentrated on their career and worked overtime all day, children would hardly have time to play and communicate with parents, which is extremely important for them during their growth.

Secondly, it would benefit for family. In recent years the divorce rate is significantly high, apart from the women's financial independence on men, the quickening pace of modern life is a primary reason. If couples would take more time to communicate each other and try to find problems between them and solve the problems, more marries would be success. After all, family always comes first.

At last, we all need time for ourselves and friends. How could we live on the earth without friends? However, it is also necessary to spend time to develop and promote friendships. We could exchange the information and experience of work and family. And we have to admit that sometimes we only could relax ourselves completely before our friends.

To sum up, it would benefit us more than we could think if we could take more vacation instead of devote ourselves to the career.

远远在笑UID: 2742022

Nowadays the rhythm of life（好！） is becoming much more faster, especially in large cities, which is accompanied by a series of social problems such as psychological and marital problems.It is hard for people to find proper time to slow down and enjoy the life. If I can choose, I would like to take a job with more vacation time rather than one with high salary but less vacation time.5 h  z9 L+ Y: D+ Y8 Q First of all, it would benefit for（delete） children if parents could take more vacation and spend more time with them. Otherwise, if parents were（delete） concentrated on their career and worked overtime all day, children would hardly have time to play and communicate with parents（them好一点）, which is extremely important for them during their growth（their growth）. Secondly, it would benefit for（delete） family（families）. In recent years the divorce rate is significantly high, apart from the women's financial independence on men, the quickening pace of modern life is a primary reason. If couples would take more time to communicate(with) each other and try to find problems between them and(then) solve the problems, more marries(marriages) would be success. After all, family always comes first., s+ C( }. n4 `$ x/ S: ?' { / P4 w9 \( u3 T7 E1 C At last, we all need time for ourselves and friends. How could we live on the earth without friends? However, it is also necessary to spend time to develop and promote friendships. We could exchange the information and experience of work and family. And we have to admit that sometimes we only could（提前） relax ourselves completely before our friends.& T; n& r. [# h7 k: a+ f9 n# k To sum up, it would benefit us more than we could think（ever imagine） if we could take more vacation instead of devote ourselves to the career. 开头结尾不错，中间三段论也是比较清晰地。文章内容略显重复（我也是这个毛病），应该曾强词汇的diversity~

懒人一枚UID: 2838780

O(∩_∩)O谢谢，现在试下发附件。

懒人一枚UID: 2838780

写的很烂，大家使劲批。

junedreamjuneUID: 2700743

写得蛮好~~学习之~如果第二个观点再多一点论证就更好了。加油~

revise-6.26.doc (26 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2010-6-28 18:16:38 上传

下载次数: 2

懒人一枚UID: 2838780

老说我验证码错误是怎么回事？

onlybenUID: 2842362

It is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animals.


In recent years prevention of the endangered animals is becoming a major topic in the society, and the land use conflict between human beings and animals is increasingly, scientists, NGOs and politician are managing to find a way to balance the benefits of them. Personally, I disagree with the above mentioned statement, the reason are listed below:

First of all, to reserve land for endangered animals is to protect the environment that human beings are living. Nowadays people discuss more frequently about the polluted air, the global warming, but many of them do not realist that the only way to solute these problems is to improve the ecology environment, including preserve the natural habitat of animals. Forests are lungs of the earth, it is hard to imagine a person who is alive（lives without） but without lungs. So does the earth.

Secondly, human beings and animals are equal. We have learned to cut(用destroy会不会好一点) the forests or grasslands clear to（用for?） cultivation since long time, the animals are endangered just because of our invasion. Furthermore, the populations in some countries, especially in developing countries, are(有没有are?) exploded in late years because of(due to前面用过because of了) the medicine development, they need new plantations to grow more food. Therefore, the animal food chain was destructed and habitats were shrunk. Since we believe we are smarter than other species, why do not we use the high-yield technology instead of pillage theirs.

To sum up, in my opinion, it is not more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animals. We are trying to find the balance between the conflict of human beings and animals and I believe we will find it eventually.

总体感觉段落偏短，支持的具体事例不多（我也是这样子的。。。）还有就是字数上最好过300因为OG上有要求的，语言上倒是没有太多说的，我觉得不错，就是黄色标出来那句有点问题,还希望战友帮俺也改改文章谢谢！~

懒人一枚UID: 2838780

多谢楼上，我总是例子无能……你的一定会改，只是这两天交作业交的我焦头烂额，压根不想开论坛……白天论坛又歧视我，不让我发帖……