我的作文贴

694055322UID: 2792795

694055322的作文贴，我8月21日考托福，希望可以找到同伴~~吼吼

694055322UID: 2792795

Successful people take new things and take risks rather than the thing that they've done well.（6月29日）




Nowadays has witnessed a overwhelming controversy concerning whether people with success and accomplishment take new things and take adventure rather than what they are already capable of doing well.Different people hold differed opinions.As far as I am concerned,it could be ture that triumphant people are more prone to challenge something new and take risks than things which they have done well.

On one hand,some people seem to maintain that successful people are gallant and wise enough to try fresh things.These people argue that every thing possesses some inevitable constraints. From an economical perspective,the vail people can get out of a stuff increases in a slower and slower pace.Consequently,chances are that one's endeavor might far outnumber what he or she really gets if he continues what he or she already done well.For this reason,successful are intelligent and ready to turn to take new things and take risks so as to achieve more tremendous success more easily instead of things that they are adept at.

On the other hand,nevertheless,other people tend to harbor the contrary standpoint,contending that successful people will bocome fearful to take new challenges at the cost of putting their  previous reputation and status under great risk.It goes without saying that everyone knows how grieved to lose something precious.As a result,having received admirable status and rare triumph,people will become more concerned what if they fail to achieve new success.They worry they cannot live up to other people's expectation.Then they are  apt to take old things in case of failure and loss of their reputation.

As for me,although it is rational to visuaize people might become much more constraint and conservative after some successes,there are reasons to believe that people are always seeking progress and expect to overcome themselves in the course of their lives.For this reason,they will take new things and take risks in hope of not only sustaining their status but also elevating it.Therefore,it could be true to say successful people are inclined to challenge freshing things rather than things they are proficient at.

mollymollymollyUID: 2839509

2# 694055322   
首先 我觉得你 应该写的自己的观点 不是别人的观点 ，而且你的句子都有点奇怪  感觉看不清句子的重点

694055322UID: 2792795

3# mollymollymolly 可能我没有分清楚不同观点文章和只有一个观点的文章区别吧。。。谢谢指点

694055322UID: 2792795

7月1日：Most people prefer others making decisions for them than making a decision for themselves.

Nowadays has witnessed an unexceptioally heated controversy concerning whether peopple would prefer other rather than themselves  to make decisions for them.Some people advocate the idea of asking their elderly or friends determine for them because they may have more comprehensive knowledge and affluent experience,while others harbor the contrary standpoint.As far I am concerned, it is of paramount significance for people to decide for themselves.The following reasoning will accout for this.

First and foremost,one must make a decision for himself or herself because no one can get a deeper understanding of him or her than himself or herself.Consequently,other people can take all the factors into account and make the best appropriate decision for one.This could be properly illustrated by the example of Bill Gates. When Bill was young,his parents determined a career path for him and sent him to the Laws School of Harvard in the hope that their son could become an attorney in the future,never thinking about Bill's interest.But it turned out that Bill left Harvard before graduation because he found laws too boring for him to concentrate on it,and then he determined a distinctive career aspiration for himself.

Additionally,the process of making decisions enables one to deepen one's knowledge and broaden his or her horizon.One example is that,supposed that one has to determine which university to take all by himself or herself,he or she has to refer to large amounts of infermation,ranging from the sceneries of the college,the quality of teathers,and the employment rate after graduating.Most important is that he or she has to compare all this information and make his or her choice eventually.It is this course of search and comparison that enriches one's knowledge and elevates one's mind.

Besides,making decisions on one's own facilitate one's developping the abilities of obligation and independence.If one learns that he or she has to make one's own decision,he or she is supposed to pour plenty of time and energy into searching as much information as possible and  considerating all the elements. At last,he or she also has to make the optium choice for himself or herself,after all he or she is the one who must take the reliability for his or her decision.Only by this means can one become more responsible and independent.

So as you can see,through making decisions for oneself,one can take the best choice for himself or herself with all factors taken into consideration,become more knowlegeable,reliable and independent as well.All in all, it pays to make one's own decision.

694055322UID: 2792795

7月3日：In order to solve the problems of present and future,it is necessary to understand the past.

Nowadays has witnessed an unexceptionally heated discussion whether people refer to the past in order to deal with problems of present and future.Some people regard it inefficiency and a complete waste of time to understand the history.As far as I am concerned,it is of paramount siginificance to date back to the old days while solving problems.The following reasoning will account for this.
First and foremost,only after a deep understanding of the problem in the past is abtained can one figure out an appropriate method for the problems.This could be properly illuminated by the example of evaluating present American president Obama.If a critic has to make an objective appraisal of Obama and reach some prediction about his future career as the precedeted president in the US,he is supposed to search for large amounts of information about him,including his childhood and schooling, work in the community as a volunteeer and experience in the parliament as a senator as well as the whole process of his election campaign.To be sure,it is what Obama expenrienced in the past to some degree that turned him to what he is today and in the future.If the critic puts aside all his bygone undergoing,chances are that he can never draw a prevaling conclusion and even make collosal mistakes.
More importantly,knowing the past and getting a comprehensive understanding of a certain problems contribute to the formation of a benign world view and value view,which is of utmost essense to youngsters.Barely can one attain a moderate and impersonal opinion without consulting the past.One example is that people must take into consideration Chairman Mao's past contributions to the building of the new China when assessing his whole life.If not,one may come to a conclution that he just misled the Chinese into  a long period of chaos.This is a wong variety of world view and value view.
In addition,understanding the past is conducive to broaden one's horizen.It goes without saying that one is capable of absorbing more knowledge during the course of probing for a tremendous deal of information concerning some problem,ranging from the past to present and future.Beside getting an all-rounded perspective about the problems,one becomes far more knowledgeable unconsciously.
  
So as you can see,it pays to understand the past in solving the problems of present and future,enabling people to  find out suitable method,enrich one's knowledge and configure the right world and value view.

cocojamesUID: 2797094

6# 694055322


我也是8月份考试的，共同努力

junedreamjuneUID: 2700743

Nowadays has witnessed an unexceptioally heated controversy concerning whether peopple would prefer other rather than themselves  to make decisions for them (prefer to make decisions by themselves or by others).Some people advocate the idea of asking their elderly or friends determine for them because they may have more comprehensive knowledge and affluent experience, while others harbor the contrary standpoint. As far I am concerned, it is of paramount significance for people to decide for themselves.The following reasoning will accout for this.7 i- h, K! u  K: U

First and foremost,one must make a decision for himself or herself because no one can get a deeper understanding of him or her than himself or herself.Consequently,other people can take all the factors into account and make the best appropriate decision for one.This could be properly illustrated by the example of Bill Gates. When Bill was young,his parents determined a career path for him and sent him to the Laws School of Harvard in the hope that their son could become an attorney in the future,never thinking about Bill's interest.But it turned out that Bill left Harvard before graduation because he found laws too boring for him to concentrate on it,and then he determined a distinctive career aspiration for himself.(GOOD!)5 I8 H! c4 D7 ~0 g

Additionally,the process of making decisions enables one to deepen one's knowledge and broaden his or her horizon.One example is that,supposed that one has to determine which university to take all by himself or herself,he or she has to refer to large amounts of infermation,ranging from the sceneries of the college,the quality of teathers,and the employment rate after graduating.Most important is that he or she has to compare all this information and make his or her choice eventually.It is this course of search and comparison that enriches one's knowledge and elevates one's mind. (有点匆忙，语法不太对)
8 @7 v  P" [  j3 J% n
Besides,making decisions on one's own facilitates one's developping (development in) the abilities of obligation and independence.If one learns that he or she has to make one's own decision,he or she is supposed to pour plenty of time and energy into searching as much information as possible and  considerating all the elements. At last,he or she also has to make the optium choice for himself or herself,after all he or she is the one who must take the reliability(responsibility?) for his or her decision.Only by this means can one become more responsible and independent.
# N, k: \" j  r9 r) o
So as you can see,through making decisions for oneself,one can take the best choice for himself or herself with all factors taken into consideration,become more knowlegeable,reliable and independent as well.All in all, it pays to make one's own decision.

观点很好，词汇也不错，句式语法再注意一下会更好~看后挺受启发的~加油~

peggy890UID: 2812709

In order to solve the problems of present and future,it is necessary to understand the past. 5 S$ ^4 D0 U2 v' n$ R. q' s$ l2 ^ Nowadays has witnessed an unexceptionally heated discussion whether people refer to the past in order to deal with problems of present and future.Some people regard it inefficiency and a complete waste of time to understand the history.As far as I am concerned,it is of paramount siginificance to date back to the old days while solving problems.The following reasoning will account for this. t3 Z2 O& l5 o3 w First and foremost,only after a deep understanding of the problem in the past is obtained（这里两个谓语，加上你的倒装弄的有点乱） can one figure out an appropriate method for the problems.This could be properly illuminated by the example of evaluating present American president Obama.If a critic has to make an objective appraisal of Obama and reach some prediction about his future career as（介词应该是FOR吧） the precedeted president in the US,he is supposed to search for large amounts of information about him,including his childhood and schooling, work in the community as a volunteeer and experience in the parliament as a senator as well as the whole process of his election campaign. To be sure, it is what Obama experienced in the past to some degree that turned him to what he is today and in the future. If the critic puts aside all his bygone undergoing,chances are that he can never draw a prevaling conclusion and even make colossal mistakes. More importantly,knowing the past and getting a comprehensive understanding of a certain problems contribute to the formation of a benign world view and value view,which is of utmost essense to youngsters.Barely can one attain a moderate and impersonal opinion without consulting the past.One example is that people must take into consideration Chairman Mao's past contributions to the building of the new China when assessing his whole life.If not,one may come to a conclution that he just misled the Chinese into a long period of chaos.This is a wong variety of world view and value view.(个人建议在作文里面不要太多出现政治性的因素) In addition,understanding the past is conducive to broaden one's horizen（应该是vision）.It goes without saying that one is capable of absorbing more knowledge during the course of probing for a tremendous deal of information concerning some problem,ranging from the past to present and future.Beside getting an all-rounded perspective about the problems,one becomes far more knowledgeable unconsciously. + J7 j& Y9 `! @; y% X' y1 S9 k So as you can see,it pays to understand the past in solving the problems of present and future,enabling people to find out suitable method,enrich one's knowledge and configure the right world and value view. 整体看来你的词汇量应该不错，用词很多样，但是整个读下来感觉长句太多，导致有些句子结构很混乱，不容易分清楚，而且逻辑性上也有些欠缺，其他都很不错~ 个人意见，仅供参考~↖(^ω^)↗

694055322UID: 2792795

7月6日：Do you agree or disagree the following statement. It is more important to reserve lands for human beings than for endangered animals. Use specific examples and details to illustrate your answer.

Nowadays has witnessed an unprecedented controversy as to whether it is more significant to reserve lands for human beings than for animals on the border of extinction. Some people contend that the need of humankind deserves paramount priorities compared with that of animals. As far as I am concerned, nonetheless, remaining enough space for the endangered animals is of utmost essence and indispensability. The following reasoning will account for this.

First and foremost, retaining lands for animals under the threat of disappearance does good to the diversity of the world. As is known to all , tremendous numbers of animals are or will be facing the problem of extinction owing to the loss of their habitats. Without doubt, if people resume intruding their regions, they will die out from the planet forever. It goes without saying that this would disrupt the balance of the earth and the variety of species will decrease soon the future. The worst thing might be that none of the species, humans included, can survive.

Another reason for preserving sufficient animals’ habitats is conducive to the development of economy. To cut a long story short, constructing reservations for some rare and precious animals makes a place become a noted resort which could attracts a multitude of travelers. Then the local economy is stimulated. This could be properly illuminated by the example of Wolong National Reservation aiming at protecting pandas. Millions of people at home and abroad go there for a journey to appreciate the adorable pandas. Available statistics show that this reservation makes big contributions to the GDP of Sichuan.

More important is that leaving affluent room for endangered animals facilitates the succession of human civilization. The history of mankind’s culture is about all species living harmony with each other. A world without such species as pandas is a monotonous one. And some civilization concerning an extinct animal may be held back. One instance is that dinosaurs which have been dead out for thousands of years leave nothing but puzzles. This is man’s great cultural losses. If people still think only about themselves, chances are that someday in the future a new generation will know nothing about such species as pandas and golden monkeys. As a result , human civilization might be harmed.

Taking all these causes into consideration, it is now safe to come to the conclusion that reserving ample areas for animals to be extinct protect the variety of the earth, contributes to economical development and advances the consecutive progress of great human culture. As a consequent, it really pays to make adequate room for the animals that are endangered already.

zenglingyuanUID: 2773905

Nowadays has witnessed an unprecedented controversy as to whether it is more significant to reserve lands for human beings than for animals on the border of extinction. Some people contend that the need of humankind deserves paramount priorities compared with that of animals. As far as I am concerned, nonetheless, remaining enough space for the endangered animals is of utmost essence and indispensability. The following reasoning will account for this.+ v5 Y! s9 X3 Z# ~0 D
" g( N2 t/ X9 i* b% m  C1 H3 y1 a+ ?  t
First and foremost, retaining lands for animals under the threat of disappearance does good to the diversity of the world. As is known to all , tremendous numbers of animals are or will be(are 和will be去掉一个 这样说很绕口） facing the problem of extinction owing to the loss of their habitats. Without doubt（可以去掉 加气觉得很不自然）, if people resume intruding their regions, they will die out from the planet forever. （逻辑有点问题 这句应该放在disrup后面作为结果，而且这个是不是跟最后一句有点重覆？）It goes without saying that this would disrupt the balance of the earth and the variety of species will decrease soon the future. The worst thing might be that none of the species, humans included, can survive.8 B" j; x2 J4
（此处可以用点排比 使句型多样化 eg there is no other sounds from pure mother nature,but only apathetic statistic in all human"s conversation, there is no clear express in eyes of lovely creatures,but only avarice for money.......)
Another reason for preserving sufficient animals’ habitats is conducive to the development of economy. To cut a long story short, constructing reservations for some rare and precious animals makes a place become(一个句子2个动词 直接 XXXcould attract XXX就好） a noted resort which could attracts a multitude of travelers. Then the local economy is stimulated. This could be properly illuminated by the example of Wolong National Reservation aiming at protecting pandas. Millions of people at home and abroad go there for a journey to appreciate the adorable pandas. Available statistics show that this reservation makes big contributions to the GDP of Sichuan.

More important is that leaving affluent room for endangered animals facilitates the succession of human civilization. The history of mankind’s culture is about all species living harmony with each other. A world without such species as pandas is a monotonous one. And some civilization concerning an extinct animal may be held back. One instance is that dinosaurs which have been dead out for thousands of years leave nothing but puzzles. This is man’s great cultural losses. If people still think only about themselves, chances are that someday in the future a new generation will know nothing about such species as pandas and golden monkeys. As a result , human civilization might be harmed(举个实例比较好）
( k8 _" v) K, b3 Z" {' a4 z. L
Taking all these causes into consideration, it is now safe to come to the conclusion that reserving ample areas for animals to be extinct protect the variety of the earth, contributes to economical development and advances the consecutive progress of great human culture. As a consequent, it really pays to make adequate room for the animals that are endangered already.

总的来说词汇变化很多 用点不错 就是要多注意句型的搭配和多样化 注意写作的自然

694055322UID: 2792795

7月8日：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Students would receive a better,effective education if they were required to attend classes for 11 months of a year.Use specific examples or details to support your answer.

Nowadays has witnessed an unprecedented controversy as to whether students could be more effectively educated if they had to attend scholl for 11 months of a year. Some people contend that long-time study does good to the accumulation of knowledge,since study is a ever-lasting process. As far as I am concerned,nonetheless,it is of paramount significance to free students from the long-term studies. The following reasoning can account for this.

First and foremost,11-month learning leads to inefficiency.As is known to all,not all the four seasons are suitable for studying. In spring and summer,one may become  tired and sleepy readily compared with the other two seasons. As a result,students may not be able to work efficiently during these two seasons.This could be properly illuminated by the example of my college.All the students in my university are requried to take an extra term in June and July.It is so hot that a large multitude of students could not concentrate on the curriculums easily,and in most cases,they would rather stay in the dormitory sleeping or playing computer games.Consequently,the extended academic year might turn out to be a failure and inefficiency at last.

Furthermore,excessive working days does harm to the development of all-round capabilities. Barely can one student busy with his or her schooling spare affluent time or energy for other things,such as learning how to swim or play the piano,getting in tough with the outside world.In this case,it could be said without exaggeration that  some students can only get high marks with low abilities. Accordingly,requiring students to attend school for long school year deprives students of the time to develop their interest or other indispensible abilities.

More important is that attending classes for  11 months each year is to the disadvantge of mental health.It goes without saying that school days mean tremendous amounts of pressure for the majority of students. From a psychological perspective,bearing stress for a long period of time may drive one to break out.If schools day are prolonged,students may be confronted with overwhelming pressure in addition to other stress from the family and society.Therefore,it is unadivisable to put students under huge unbearable tension for as long as 11 months.

Taking all these causes into consideration,it is now safe to come to the conclusion that the drawbacks of requiring pupils to study for 11 months every year far outweigh its merits.In other words,it pays to spare more time for students.

伶女UID: 2797207

7月6日：feedback by 伶女
2 y: A, r( r' U1 s4 w% [: l, r
Nowadays ？ has witnessed an unprecedented controversy as to whether it is more significant to reserve lands for human beings than for animals on the border of extinction. Some people contend that the need of humankind deserves paramount priorities compared with that of animals. As far as I am concerned, nonetheless, remaining enough space for the endangered animals is of utmost essence and indispensability. The following reasoning will account for this.' R( c8 J# p0 A8 s0 N3 {( s# f6 {
. F! f1 Y- e4 w" ^! ]0 u7 Z* j
First and foremost, retaining lands for animals under the threat of disappearance does good to the diversity of the world. As is known to all , tremendous numbers of animals are or will be facing the problem of extinction owing to the loss of their habitats. Without doubt, if people resume intruding their regions, they will die out from the planet forever. It goes without saying that this would disrupt the balance of the earth and the variety of species will decrease soon the future. The worst thing might be that none of the species, humans included, can survive.

Another reason for preserving sufficient animals’ habitats is conducive to the development of economy. To cut a long story short, constructing reservations for some rare and precious animals makes a place become a noted resort which could attracts a multitude of travelers. Then the local economy is stimulated. This could be properly illuminated by the example of Wolong National Reservation aiming at protecting pandas. Millions of people at home and abroad go there for a journey to appreciate the adorable pandas. Available statistics show that this reservation makes big contributions to the GDP of Sichuan.

More important is that leaving affluent room for endangered animals facilitates the succession of human civilization. The history of mankind’s culture is about all species living harmony with each other. A world without such species as pandas is a monotonous one. And some civilization concerning an extinct animal may be held back. One instance is that dinosaurs which have been dead out for thousands of years leave nothing but puzzles. This is man’s great cultural losses. If people still think only about themselves, chances are that someday in the future a new generation will know nothing about such species as pandas and golden monkeys. As a result , human civilization might be harmed." p! a( Z( Z2 W7 U/ ?' J% k/ E

Taking all these causes into consideration, it is now safe to come to the conclusion that reserving ample areas for animals to be extinct protects the variety of the earth, contributes to economical development and advances the consecutive progress of great human culture. As a consequent, it really pays to make adequate room for the animals that are endangered already.


这篇文章学习学习了～～
句子和用词都没话说，在想楼主怎么能够用的这么自如～～
三个观点，三个完全不同的方面，论述很清楚，panda的例子很好
从楼主这里学到很多，谢谢咯，一起加油～

bensonseuUID: 2707369

Nowadays has （我也不知道这里是否改用has还是have，只是有点疑问）witnessed an unprecedented controversy as to whether students could be more effectively educated if they had to attend scholl for 11 months of a year. Some people contend that long-time study does good to the accumulation of knowledge,since study is a ever-lasting process. As far as I am concerned,nonetheless,it is of paramount significance to free students from the long-term studies（这里study即可）. The following reasoning can account for this.
（呵呵，这是你自己总结的开头模板么？怎么说呢？虽然语言上很不错，但总感觉这样的模板结构上挺常见的）
* c: W' t, L. _9 Y
. ]% C/ |! x# b. @- U2 R& kFirst and foremost,11-month learning leads to inefficiency.As is known to all,not all the four seasons are suitable for studying. In spring and summer,one may become  tired and sleepy readily compared with the other two seasons. As a result,students may not be able to work efficiently during these two seasons.This could be properly illuminated by the example of my college.All the students in my university are requried to take an extra term in June and July.It is so hot that a large multitude of students could not concentrate on the curriculums easily,and in most cases,they would rather stay in the dormitory sleeping or playing computer games.Consequently,the extended academic year might turn out to be a failure and inefficiency at last.  `1 W5 Q0 r& G6 a4 u/ E
  U, L5 R' ?% P# {8 i5 ]+ t# `
Furthermore,excessive working days does harm to the development of all-round capabilities. Barely can one student busy with his or her schooling spare（spares） affluent time or energy for other things,such as learning how to swim or play the piano,getting in tough with the outside world.In this case,it could be said without exaggeration that  some students can only get high marks with low abilities. Accordingly,requiring students to attend school for long school year deprives students of the time to develop their interest or other indispensible abilities.) m. x4 R$ [6 j; z0 ^8 C

- z! p5 {+ \8 J! M$ N( sMore important is that attending classes for  11 months each year is to the disadvantge of mental health.It goes without saying that school days mean tremendous amounts of pressure for the majority of students. From a psychological perspective,bearing stress for a long period of time may drive one to break out.If schools day are prolonged,students may be confronted with overwhelming pressure in addition to other stress from the family and society.Therefore,it is unadivisable to put students under huge unbearable tension for as long as 11 months.8 [; M5 B, K1 I8 }

; K8 [+ u4 k; XTaking all these causes into consideration,it is now safe to come to the conclusion that the drawbacks of requiring pupils to study for 11 months every year far outweigh its merits.In other words,it pays to spare more time for students.（最后一句没懂，阁下可以解释下么？）
（呵呵。。。。是一篇好文章，无论从结构上，还是语言上都有很多值得学习的地方。一些单词小错误我只标出没有帮忙改出，相信你一看就可以看出来了。有什么问题直接站内PM我~~~）

694055322UID: 2792795

7月10日：Many teachers assign homework to students every day.Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students?Use specific examples and details to support your answer.

Nowadays has witnessed an unprecedented controversy as to whether students should be assigned homework every day. Some people contend that there is no point requiring pupils to hand in assignment each day since it may take up too much time and deprive students of freedom to do other things.As far as I am concerned,nevertheless,it is of paramount significance for teachers to assign homework.The following reasoning will account for this.

Firs and foremost,school assignment contributes to strengthening what students have learned in class.It is universally admitted that study is a repetitive procedure and homework helps students consolidate the knowledge.If one learns only by listening to teachers and never practices by himself or herself,chances are that he or she may remember almost nothing after a few days,not to mention after several months or years.This could be properly illustrated by the example of my roommate.She was rather attentive in the calculus class but she never did any practice required by her teacher.It came no surprise to me that she eventually failed the final exam because math requires large amounts of homework.According to her words,it was all her fault not to finish the exercise after class.

In addition, schoolwork may boost communication between students and teachers.There exist possibilites that some students may be confronted with difficulties during the course of doing the homework and turn to their teachers for help.In this way,teachers are becoming more friends than teachers.One intance is that once a seniro student mentioned that he often talked to his teachers about the assignment both in and out of class.And he gradually regarded his teachers as his intimate friends.He would send a message or make a call to them when it was a big day,such as Teachers’ Day and the Lantern Day.

Furthermore,homework satisfies a sense of achievement and students' desire to showcase.It may be very tough to concentrate on a problem for long.But one may fell more than cheerful after he or she finally comes up with an approach to it.From a psychological perspective,everyone possesses the aspiration to showcase his or her own capabilities.If one could show his or her friends how to solve the problem,he or she would become rather delighted and satisfied,especially when not many of the students are able to figure out the problem.

Taking all these causes into consideration,it is now safe to come to the conclusion that the advantages of assigning homework to students every day far outweigh its disavantages mentioned by some people.As a consequense,it really pays to finish school assignment.