【Flyer杀G作文组】06月26日Issue48-By 潇

红绡UID: 2839171

The author claims that the most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by few personages but by groups of forgotten people. As to the two, I agree both of them. The history cannot be developed only depending on a few persons who are usually the leaders for some vital organizations which played a significant role in history, but also relied on nervous thrust of numerous people for history whose name we cannot remember or the historical records have not taken down.

First of all, as to the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten, we cannot ignore that they are ones who give enormous impetus to evolution of history. As Marxist philosophy said, the masses are the creator of history. Even the few famous who stood out of a crowd came from the mass. Absent of the masses, the celebrities could do nothing in stupendous historical process where they would be like a float on the boundless ocean which symbolizes the mass, while the water that bears the boats is the same that swallows. As to American Revolution which is the world’s first large-scale colonial war for national independence, at the beginning of the war, there was a great disparity in force between two sides. Britain is the most powerful colonialist power which own a large number of world-class navy well-equipped and well-trained, while on contrast, the people in the U.S colonies were short of troops poorly equipped and lacking in training. However, it is the justice and progress of the war which summoned the people all over the colonial mainland led to the process and triumphal ending. We can feel deeply the strength of the collective from hundreds of stories.


Nevertheless born by the masses, the effect of minority of personages could not also be effaced. Concededly, a team without leader is half-baked which is disorganized and lack of discipline and clear direction. In this case, it is unbelievable that the team could do big things or even move history forward. Only a few persons who had got courage, ingenuity and leadership or anything else that made them outstanding enough to stand in the leader’s position could probably shepherd the collective with the same belief to achieve the target. Inevitably, at the end only a few people who had been the outstanding ones of the whole group would be possible kept in memory for long and engraved in historical records.


Actually, both the masses and famous are the same important because historical development could not be lack any one. Although famous are engraved on ones memory forever as heroes and incalculable ones as the mass could not escape destiny of oblivion, both of them have done indelible deeds for human history.


In sum, the study of history places much emphasis on individuals, and then most significant events and trends in history seemed to be made possible by groups of people forgotten. I concede that the masses were the most vital strength for history, but I consider that those splendid individuals also played an important role on the great events and trends in history. Exactly because of the celebrities we seem to see the vivid situation at that time when we read history. They are the deputations of the masses, so they are unified and inseparable in history.

MaryWongUID: 2619999

修改
The author claims that the most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by few personages but by groups of forgotten people. As to the two, I agree both of them. The history cannot be developed only depending on a few persons who are usually the leaders for some vital organizations which played a significant role in history, but also relied on nervous thrust of numerous people for history whose name we cannot remember or the historical records have not taken down.
First of all, as to the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten, we cannot ignore that they are ones who give enormous impetus to evolution of history. As Marxist philosophy said, the masses are the creator of history. Even the few famous who stood out of a crowd came from the mass. Absent of the masses, the celebrities could do nothing in stupendous historical process where they would be like a float on the boundless ocean which symbolizes the mass, while the water that bears the boats is the same that swallows. As to American Revolution which is the world’s first large-scale colonial war for national independence, at the beginning of the war, there was a great disparity in force between two sides. Britain is the most powerful colonialist power which own a large number of world-class navy well-equipped and well-trained, while on contrast(应by contrast), the people in the U.S colonies were short of troops poorly equipped and lacking in training（该句歧义：美国短缺设备不好又缺乏训练的部队。建议分开写以表达美国缺少部队，况且这些部队设备糟糕又缺乏训练）. However, it is the justice and progress of the war which summoned the people all over the colonial mainland led to the process and triumphal ending. We can feel deeply the strength of the collective from hundreds of stories.

Nevertheless born by the masses, the effect of minority of personages could not also be effaced. Concededly, a team without leader is half-baked which is disorganized and lack of discipline and clear direction. In this case, it is unbelievable that the team could do big things or even move history forward. Only a few persons who had got courage, ingenuity and leadership or anything else that made them outstanding enough to stand in the leader’s position could probably shepherd the collective with the same belief to achieve the target. Inevitably, at the end only a few people who had been the outstanding ones of the whole group would be possible kept in memory for long and engraved in historical records.

Actually, both the masses and famous are the same important because historical development could not be lack any one. Although famous are engraved on ones memory forever as heroes and incalculable ones as the mass could not escape destiny of oblivion, both of them have done indelible deeds for human history.

In sum, the study of history places much emphasis on individuals, and then most significant events and trends in history seemed to be made possible by groups of people forgotten(该总结句中and then 表顺承，而实际应表达转折) I concede that the masses were the most vital strength for history, but I consider that those splendid individuals also played an important role on the great events and trends in history. Exactly because of the celebrities we seem to see the vivid situation at that time when we read history. They are the deputations of the masses, so they are unified and inseparable in history.


主要意见：本文大意是“个人和群体在历史中的作用各占一半”，可是在表述“个人作用不可忽视”一段时未举例展开（且建议该段再展开说一下为什么群众需要带领），使得观点平衡的文章在结构上并不平衡。