7.1 -Argument 56 -By CC

师大菜菜UID: 2838404

TOPIC: ARGUMENT56 - Collectors prize the ancient life-size clay statues of human figures made on Kali Island but have long wondered how the Kalinese artists were able to depict bodies with such realistic precision. Since archeologists have recently discovered molds of human heads and hands on Kali, we can now conclude that the ancient Kalinese artists used molds of actual bodies, not sculpting tools and techniques, to create these statues. This discovery explains why Kalinese miniature statues were abstract and entirely different in style: molds could only be used for life-size sculptures. It also explains why few ancient Kalinese sculpting tools have been found. In light of this development, collectors should expect the life-size sculptures to decrease in value and the miniatures to increase in value.
WORDS: 492
TIME: 00:22:43
DATE: 2010/7/2 8:04:08

Through analyzing the discovery of actual body molds and few tools been found , the arguer give a answer that how ancient life-size clay statues of human figures are created.
The arguer also concludes that collectors should expect the life-size sculptures to decrease in value and the increase to miniatures for their different building methods. Though the arguer well establishes his demonstration, the argument, however, still suffer from certain flaws.

To begin with, the mere fact that scientist found molds of human heads and hands on Kali is insufficient to deny ancient artists. It entirely possible that these molds are not used for sculpture. Specially, perhaps these are another kind of artifacts created by Kalinese people. Or that molds are always used in battle to threaten components, which seem exactly like real soldiers, displaying strong power of such country. Moreover, molds might just is a traditional way
to burry a people, which is preserved as a culture heritage for Kaliese. As for few tools are unearthed. That might be the case that tools are all missing due to be long time and improper preserved way. Or perhaps, tools actually exist in certain mysterious places where is difficult for scientists to find out. Without ruling out these possibilities, the arguer cannot assert that artists did not use sculpting tools and techniques, but real body molds.

Furthermore, the abstract style and the fact that few tools are founded do not necessarily have connection with miniature's superior. As the author is not sure about how these miniatures are created, leading to the so-called abstract impression, it is equally possible that miniatures are in fact made by real animals’ molds, the same means as that of huge one. Specially those animals might living in ancient Kalin, while extinct short after that, thereby today's archeologists never encounter them, rendering the sense of abstract. Moreover, such different style is possibly different artists’ taste, that is , there are many sculpture designers in Kalin, whom might be entirely distinguish from each other in terms of artists style as well as excel fields. Thus those miniature seem distinctive from huge one made by others. In short, lacking clear evidence that author cannot illustrate the advantage of miniatures.

Moreover, even assuming all the assumption above is right, the assertion that miniatures will increase in value while life-size ones decrease seems unpersuasive. Perhaps the miniatures are different from those big ones in material and techniques, thus its inherent value will not change at all in the comparison to the potential decline in life-size statues. Again ,miniatures might not appeal to consumers for its abstract, while life-size do for its unique and originality. Unless the author provides better evidences, can these assumptions be overthrew.


Overall, the reasoning behind the argument is unconvincing as it stands. Therefore before finally reaching any conclusion, it is necessary for the arguer to judge more alternatives and cause for the evaluation of life-size style statues in ancient Kalin.


说明:
除了开头,基本是照范文写的. 谁帮我改,改一下开头就可以了
唉,女朋友来了,得陪她逛街……..
下不为例,以后不会了

feiyueyangUID: 2286421

22分钟，好快。

candygegeUID: 2792059

Through analyzing the discovery of actual body molds and few tools been found , the arguer give an answer that how ancient life-size clay statues of human figures are created.The arguer also concludes that collectors should expect the life-size sculptures to decrease in value and the increase to miniatures for their different building（build 的意思在这里不是特别好，建议用create) methods. Though the arguer well establishes his demonstration(不知道是否有这种说法，看起来有点别扭), the argument, however, still suffer from (suffer from 的主语一般是人吧，直接用have)certain flaws.

To begin with, the mere fact that scientist found molds of human heads and hands on Kali is insufficient to deny ancient artists. It entirely possible that these molds are not used for sculpture. Specially, perhaps these are another kind of artifacts created by Kalinese people. Or that molds are always used in battle to threaten components, which seem exactly like real soldiers, displaying strong power of such country. Moreover, molds might just is a traditional way to burry（bury） a people, which is preserved as a culture heritage for Kaliese. As for few tools are unearthed. That might be the case that tools are all missing due to be long time and improper preserved way. Or perhaps, tools actually exist in certain mysterious places where is difficult for scientists to find out. Without ruling out these possibilities, the arguer cannot assert that artists did not use sculpting tools and techniques, but real body molds.

Furthermore, the abstract style and the fact that few tools are founded do not necessarily have connection with miniature's superior. As the author is not sure about how these miniatures are created, leading to the so-called abstract impression, it is equally possible that miniatures are in fact made by real animals’ molds, the same means as that of huge one. Specially those animals might living in ancient Kalin, while extinct short after that, thereby today's archeologists never encounter them, rendering the sense of abstract. Moreover, such different style is possibly different artists’ taste, that is , there are many sculpture designers in Kalin, whom might be entirely distinguish from each other in terms of artists style as well as excel fields. Thus those miniature seem distinctive from huge one made by others. In short, lacking clear evidence that author cannot illustrate the advantage of miniatures.

Moreover, even assuming all the assumption above is right, the assertion that miniatures will increase in value while life-size ones decrease seems unpersuasive. Perhaps the miniatures are different from those big ones in material and techniques, thus its inherent value will not change at all in the comparison to the potential decline in life-size statues. Again, miniatures might not appeal to consumers for its abstract, while life-size do for its unique and originality. Unless the author provides better evidences, can these assumptions be overthrew.


Overall, the reasoning behind the argument is unconvincing as it stands. Therefore before finally reaching any conclusion, it is necessary for the arguer to judge more alternatives and cause for the evaluation of life-size style statues in ancient Kalin.
=========================
总结
这篇文章给我的总体感觉是结构清晰，论述理由新颖，但有时难免忍俊不禁，感觉作者自己提出的理由似乎也有点过于牵强，比如mini-statues 是动物模型，这些动物现在已经不存在了，所以科学家也不认识。这些想法对于我个人来说是一种全新的视角与开拓。
除了首段外，感觉句式变化比较多，可能是能力有限，修改的地方不是太多。
====================
也请高手一起看看，学习了。
===========
你说明中说“除了开头，基本是照范文写的”？……

师大菜菜UID: 2838404

Through analyzing the discovery of actual body molds and few tools been found , the arguer give an answer that how ancient life-size clay statues of human figures are created.The arguer also concludes ...
candygege 发表于 2010-7-2 21:42

非常感谢
见笑了，那天比较郁闷，没有时间写了。
后面就照着范文敲，敲一遍也没有坏处哈，给自己找点安慰