【Flyer杀G作文组】7月4日Argument181-By candygege

candygegeUID: 2792059

181. From a letter to the editor of a city newspaper.
"One recent research study has indicated that many adolescents need more sleep than they are getting, and another study has shown that many high school students in our city are actually dissatisfied with their own academic performance. As a way of combating these problems, the high schools in our city should begin classes at 8:30 A.M. instead of 7:30 A.M., and end the school day an hour later. This arrangement will give students an extra hour of sleep in the morning, thereby making them more alert and more productive. Consequently, the students will perform better on tests and other assignments, and their academic skills will improve significantly."
难度：★★★

This letter claims that the high school should change class time, begining earlier and ending later, to improe students' academic performance. To support this claim the author suggests students dissatisfaction caused by deficient sleep in accordence with two studies. Furthermore, the arguer arbitrarily confirmed that students would use the extra hour sleeping in the morning, making them more alert and more productive. However, the arguments seems logical at first glance, but unreasonable on careful analysis.
   First of all, in evaluating the two studies, one should consider how the survey was conducted. If the questions were leading or if the survey relied on self reports, the results might be unreliable -- people might just respond with the expected or exaggerated answers. Possibly, the youths are so proness to leisure time that they responded as a wish but not true. One must also consider how broad the survey was. If the survey was limited to a few students of a school, the results might be attributable to those particular individuals and that particular schools or cities. Hence, the generalization drawn might not apply to most students. In addition, even if the survey was broader, one must consider whether it was limited in certain ways. Take the second study for example, were the study respondents high self-esteem students, who were never satisfied about themselves? Was the survey limited to a certain school or geographic region? Factors such as these could explain these two studies results and could undermine the generalizability of the survey results.
   Even if one accepts the resultts of two studies, the argument remains questionable. The arguer suggests the two researches results as a causation relation, which means that lacking sleep causes students uncontentment of the school records. But the argument fails to provide sufficient evidence to support the hypothesis.
   It is presumptuous to draw a conclusion that suggested changing school class time. The arguer failed to rule out other alternative explanations that probably decrease students' satisfaction. For example, the methods is unfit for students, the environment is too noisy to study, the teachers are boring, and even the students themselves are limited in their own high self-standards.
   Turn attention to next arbitrary reason the author stated: students would got an extra hour of sleep in the morning, thereby making them more alert and more productive, because of the measure. But, the arguer neglect the rest part of the measure: the ending delay. Probably, students who come home later would also sleep later, in order to finish the homeworks as many as before. Thus, although they had an extra sleeping hour, they still felt tired and unproductive.
   In succession, the arguer stated that students will perform better on tests and other assignments, and their academic skills will improve significantly. In a not dissimilar way, the argument did not rule out other influencing factors as we mentioned above. The mentality is not the only factors correlate with academic performance.
   Whatever else may be said, no person would disagree that the argument is unpersuasive unless ruling out the alternative explanations and improving sufficient evidence, like reliable and generalize studies.

师大菜菜UID: 2838404

This letter claims that the high school should change class time, beginning earlier and ending later, to improve students' academic performance. To support this claim the author suggests students’ dissatisfaction caused by deficient sleep in accordance with two studies. Furthermore, the arguer arbitrarily confirmed that students would use the extra hour sleeping in the morning, making them more alert and more productive. However, the argument seems logical at first glance, but unreasonable on careful analysis.
   First of all, in evaluating the two studies, one should consider how the survey was conducted. If the questions were leading or if the survey relied on self reports, the results might be unreliable -- people might just respond with the expected or exaggerated answers. Possibly, the youths are so proness （这个单词没有找到） to leisure time that they responded as a wish but not true. One must also consider how broad the survey was. If the survey was limited to a few students of a school, the results might be attributable to those particular individuals and that particular schools or cities. Hence, the generalization drawn might not apply to most students. In addition, even if the survey was broader, one must consider whether it was limited in certain ways. Take the second study for example, were the study respondents high self-esteem students, who were never satisfied about themselves? Was the survey limited to a certain school or geographic region? Factors such as these could explain these two studies results and could undermine the generalizability of the survey results.
//第一段，讲调查没有交待清楚，结果可能不可信，挺好的。

   Even if one accepts the results of two studies, the argument remains questionable. The arguer suggests the two researches results as a causation relation, which means that lacking sleep causes students uncontentment of the school records. But the argument fails to provide sufficient evidence to support the hypothesis.
//第二段讲，两个调查可能没有因果关系，可以举一些他因，感觉这段论证有点简单

   It is presumptuous to draw a conclusion that suggested changing school class time. The arguer failed to rule out other alternative explanations that probably decrease students' satisfaction. For example, the methods is unfit for students, the environment is too noisy to study, the teachers are boring, and even the students themselves are limited in their own high self-standards.
//第三段讲，其他原因也可以降低学生学习成绩。可以和上面一段合并。两段一起，讲调查结果没有因果关系，举一些他因


   Turn attention to next arbitrary reason the author stated: students would got an extra hour of sleep in the morning, thereby making them more alert and more productive, because of the measure. But, the arguer neglects the rest part of the measure: the ending delay. Probably, students who come home later would also sleep later, in order to finish the homeworks as many as before. Thus, although they had an extra sleeping hour, they still felt tired and unproductive.
//这一段讲，推迟放学时间，并不能导致学生有更多的休息


   In succession, the arguer stated that students will perform better on tests and other assignments, and their academic skills will improve significantly. In a not dissimilar way, the argument did not rule out other influencing factors as we mentioned above. The mentality is not the only factors correlate with academic performance.
//最后，很多其他因素也会导致学生成绩下降，感觉跟第三段有些重复,可以删掉



   Whatever else may be said, no person would disagree that the argument is unpersuasive unless ruling out the alternative explanations and improving sufficient evidence, like reliable and generalize studies.

//有一些单词拼写错误
//另外就是，可以考虑重新组织一下段落结构…….
//分三段:
//
第一段,调查没有交待清,没有说服力
//
第二段, 休息并不是唯一导致学生成绩下降的原因, 举一些他因
//
第三段, 推迟放学时间,并不能导致学生有更多的休息