argument188 欢迎拍文作文小组

Ocean~SprayUID: 2847693

TOPIC: ARGUMENT188 - A new report suggests that men and women experience pain very differently from one another, and that doctors should consider these differences when prescribing pain medications. When researchers administered the same dosage of kappa opioids-a painkiller-to 28 men and 20 women who were having their wisdom teeth extracted, the women reported feeling much less pain than the men, and the easing of pain lasted considerably longer in women. This research suggests that kappa opioids should be prescribed for women whenever pain medication is required, whereas men should be given other kinds of pain medication. In addition, researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women.
WORDS: 358
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2010-7-15 10:02:59
This report suggests that men and women experience pain very differently from one another, and that doctors should consider their differences when prescribing pain medications. To support this conclusion, the argument provides a research conducted among 28 men and 20 women who were administered the same dosage of kappa opioids (KO). However, I find these claims problematic in several respects.
To begin with, the number of people being researched is merely 48, so their reports are so inadequate that they can’t typify the whole group. In addition, during the process, women reported feeling less pain than men did after being administered the same dosage of KO. Yet we know little about the original condition of men and women. Many factors may influence the results, which include the age, health condition, number of wisdom teeth being extracted and forth. The report fails to eliminate the other alternatives so it can't convince me.
Moreover, the arguer claims that KO should be prescribed for women whenever pain medication is required. Notwithstanding the effects of KO in toothache may not necessarily the same eminent elsewhere. In other aspects the KO’s effects could be normal or even weak that other painkillers may easily surpass it. More importantly, Pain medication has diverse classifications that to take painkillers without caution may lead to serious consequences.
Finally, by stating the effects of men and women are different, the argument suggests that researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women. However, even if the KO affects men and women in different degree, reevaluation of the effects of all medications lacks evidence. Because other medicines may function differently according to other factors, so that gender is not the only reason.
In sum, the arguer has not persuaded me that men should take a medication other than KO. To strengthen the argument he needs to assure me that the original condition of the test takers are the same, and that the quantity is large enough to represent the whole group of people. To better access the conclusion I need to know how effectively other medicines functions according to various factors apart from gender.

snowcmxUID: 2765226

。。。建议楼主自己检查修改一遍再发上来 第一段就一堆拼写错误。。额

Ocean~SprayUID: 2847693

不好意思，我又修改了一遍~~

alickenUID: 2845947

不好意思，改晚了

This report suggests that men and women experience pain very differently from one another, and that doctors should consider their(指代dictor?) differences(直接就是gender) when prescribing pain medications(作者是建议开所有药时都考虑性别). To support this conclusion, the argument(arguer) provides a research conducted among 28 men and 20 women who were administered the same dosage of kappa opioids (KO).(因为这个调查叙述起来比较长，所以不建议在首段叙述调查内容。但如果你要说就说完：调查结果表明KO在女性身上的效果更好。) However, I find these claims problematic in several respects.
To begin with, the number of people being researched is merely 48, so their reports are so inadequate that they can’t typify(represent) the whole group. In addition, during the process, women reported feeling less pain than men did after being administered the same dosage of KO.(逗号) Yet(yet 或者在in addition后加although，去掉yet语气强烈点) we know little about the original condition of men and women. Many factors may influence the results, which(which修饰result显然不对) include the age, health condition, number of wisdom teeth being extracted and forth. Many factors -including patients’ age, health condition, number of wisdom teeth being extracted and forth- may influence the results of the study. The report fails to eliminate the other alternatives(the other alternatives 应该翻译为其他选择，而且还不能用定冠词，改为some other possible conditions) so it can't convince me.

Moreover, the arguer claims that KO should be prescribed for women whenever pain medication is required. Notwithstanding(Notwithstanding表让步，这里应该是转折) the effects of KO in toothache may not necessarily the same eminent elsewhere. In other aspects the KO’s effects could be normal or even weak that(and) other painkillers may easily surpass it. More importantly, Pain medication has diverse classifications that to take painkillers without caution may lead to serious consequences.(我觉得这段开始就写这句，然后以此为中心展开,说可能KO只是在牙疼上高效)


Finally, by(after) stating the effects of men and women are different, the argument suggests that researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women. However, even if the KO affects men and women in different degree, reevaluation of the effects of all medications lacks evidence(应该说重新评估所有药没有必要). Because other medicines may function differently according to other factors, so that gender is not the only reason.

In sum, the arguer has not persuaded(用现在时) me that men should take a medication other than KO. To strengthen the argument he needs to assure me(向我保证？这语气也太强烈了吧) that the original condition of the test takers are the same, and that the quantity is large enough to represent the whole group of people. To better access the conclusion I need to know how effectively other medicines functions(function) according to various factors apart from gender.


另外，注意格式，每段之间空一行
共同进步