ISSUE16

ggjyUID: 2706471

16，"Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are entirely harmless, in fact, they actually prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals."
尽管许多人认为现代生活的奢华和便利是丝毫没有坏处的，但是这实际上让人们无法成为真正强大和独立的个体。
It must thanks to the science and technology which makes our life luxury and convenient. People nowadays do have lots of reliance on those things. Without those, modern culture will be paralysis, people’s normal life will be ruined. But it is that power which makes human become strongest and most independent throughout history.

It is true that excessive dependence on science and technology may bring people lazy. It may make people satisfied with the achievements made by others and not to use their own wisdom to create more. In other words, it is the comfortableness actuate some people reconcile to be parasites. For instance, Internet makes people loose their own ideas, while bring convenience. Some college students do not write papers themselves but copy others’ through check the Internet. Internet also nurtured a seedbed for the group psychology. When evens occur, Some people don’t make judgment themselves, but just repeat what others say no mater they are right or wrong. That situations are surely some kind of infaust gift gave by the modern life.

Nevertheless, compare to the benefits, the negative influence seems to be subordinate. With the help of science and technology,
many things which have to be done by human beings now replaced by machines. From agriculture to industry, from architecture to clinical medicine, the once group work now can be done by individuals. It is machines that give human much power to become truly strong independent individuals. Today, a farmer can plant and reap corn with large medicines by himself. He no longer need to employ many labors to help him doing that. What’s more, the greenhouse separate the crops from wild, it gives farmer to decide what to plan and when to plan. Farmer do not need to worry about bed wither. They are departed from the dependence on natural. Besides the Internet makes a huge effects on modernist. Once a class need a classroom, a teacher, a text book and pencils but now just a computer can replace all of them. The advanced traffic transportation broadened the active scope of people. They do not need to stay at one small
town for a whole life, but go to big cities or advanced countries. A man’s scope is opened, and he can realize his own value in the big world. It have to say that, it is the contemporary life which makes people developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

To sum up, the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life developed people into truly strong and independent individuals. Though they do add some chances for people to goof-off. But the final decisions are made by people themselves. If they can use the conveniences reasonably, can make the bed effects into good once. Confront others’ achievements,
a person should use as a source of reference and use their mind to give their own judgment and make their own achievements. Only by use their own mind to make decisions man can be really strong at all.

nature347UID: 2751175

文章整体不错呵呵.
本文我觉得前面的部分写的挺不错,但是感觉后面在阐述"the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life developed people into truly strong and independent individuals. "时说理可能需要在补充一下,不然的话可能读起来稍微觉得有些突兀,所以我就加了一小段话.
思路方面,我觉得在论述现代生活是否使人强大和独立时可以写写人们的强大并不是狭隘的,而是可以涵盖人们的创新能力等等,这样就可以展开多一些了.
例子方面我觉得第二段关于网络的例子不错,第三段关于人们活动范围增大的例子也不错,感觉上课可以只用电脑那个不是很有鲜明的说明性就可以去掉了.
我的水平也有限,晶还请多多包涵.
我修改的文章见下文:
It must thanks to the science and technology which makes our life luxury and convenient. People nowadays do have lots of reliance on those things, Without which, the  modern culture will be paralysis and people’s normal life will be ruined. All in all, it is that power which makes human as a whole become strongest and most independent throughout history.

It is true that excessive dependence on science and technology may lead to dependency of people. It may make people satisfied with the achievements made by others instead of  using their own wisdom to create more. In other words, it is the comfortableness actuate some people reconcile to be parasites. For instance, Internet makes people lack of their own ideas, while bring convenience. Some college students do not write papers themselves but copy others’ through surfing the Internet. Internet also nurtured a seedbed for the group psychology. When events occur, Some people don’t make judgment themselves, but just repeat what others say no mater they are right or wrong. Those situations are surely some kind of infest gift gave by the modern life.

Nevertheless, compare to the benefits, the negative influence seems to be subordinate. With the help of science and technology,many things which have to be done by human beings now replaced by machines, which enable people to handle more innovative and complicated  works.From agriculture to industry, from architecture to clinical medicine, the once group work now can be done by individuals. It is machines that give human much power to become truly strong independent individuals. Today, a farmer can plant and reap corn with large medicines by himself. He no longer needs to employ many labors to help him doing that. What’s more, the greenhouse separate the crops from wild, it gives farmer to decide what to plan and when to plan. Farmer do not need to worry about bad weather. They are departed from the dependence on natural. The advanced traffic transportation broadened the active scope of people. They do not need to stay at one small town for a whole life, but go to big cities or advanced countries. A man’s scope is opened, and he can realize his own value in the big world.
    Obviously, we can infer that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life in fact offer modern people hunge amount of opportunities to develop their ability and will. Although some people who are not able to seize the chances but just enjoy the convenience become less strong than their ascents, but most people  followed the step of the  human innovation and become stronger and less independent.
    To sum up, the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life developed people into truly strong and independent individuals. Though they do add some chances for people to goof-off. But the final decisions are made by people themselves. If they can use the conveniences reasonably, can make the bed effects into good ones. Confront others’ achievements, a person should use as a source of reference and use their mind to give their own judgment and make their own achievements. Only by use their own mind to make decisions man can be really strong at all.