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[i习作temp] Issue No.50【六人行】&Arguement No.17 by Echo [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-7-26 17:22:33 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 echo23love 于 2010-7-26 20:16 编辑

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 482          TIME: 00:55:00          DATE: 2010/7/26 16:55:37


Should all the faculty be requires to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach? The speaker's idea is that they should do so to make progress of the teaching quality of their field. But I do not think all the faculties should go out for a working .To prove my opinion, I give the reasons as follows.

Firstly, in some extent, I agree with the speaker's idea. The faculty who works in the engineering area or work in architecture area should be asked to spare no effort to get job opportunity outside the academic world. If the faculties go out for working, they can get the straight tips of their major. With these information, they can give their students better instrument just because these kinds of fields needs practice and the working experience. For example, my best friend's major is architecture, and she found that it is easier to understand a program when the teacher told them his personal feeling which he really have experienced before. At the same time,the faculty who work in these kind of field can also bring more job opportunity to their students, the students can work with their teacher and gain in goal-direct way even when they are at school.


However, there are no absolute here with this suggestion. We must analysis different things under various situation. If the faculty is not teaching in the field which needs practice experience, the college or university's suggestion of going out for work is not a wise idea. Everybody has limited energy, If the faculty invested significant time and effort in working outside the academic world, they may lose patience for their students. I will go even further that the college and university may lose the great teaching resource just because the great salary which the company offered.


As for the speaker's other claim,that these actions aiming at improve the quality of teaching at the college and university level.Can just step out the university improves the instruction level? I do not think that will work,not only just because the teacher spending their time on working outside may taking their attention from working,but we can also find a truth that improve the quality of instruction at college level is totally depend on the teacher's willingness and his teaching method. The key point is that the teacher should broad his eyesight and find a proper method for him to teach his students, just doing jobs in the faculty's field and do not share the experience with the students will do nothing at all.

To sum up, the speaker may be partly groundless as with the idea that every faculty should find a job outside the academic atmosphere, but it is vitally important to acknowledge the fact that the fundamental rule for improve the conducted in the university is to let the teachers construct themselves.








[arguement]17The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Walnut Grove town newspaper.
WORDS: 468          TIME: 01:24:42          DATE: 2010-7-26 18:56:07

"Walnut Grove's town council has advocated switching from EZ Disposal (which has had the contract for trash collection services in Walnut Grove for the past ten years) to ABC Waste, because EZ recently raised its monthly fee from $2,000 to $2,500 a month, whereas ABC's fee is still $2,000. But the town council is mistaken; we should continue using EZ. EZ collects trash twice a week, while ABC collects only once. Moreover, EZ—which, like ABC, currently has a fleet of 20 trucks—has ordered additional trucks. Finally, EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were 'satisfied' with EZ's performance."




In this memo, the arguer suggested that Walnut Grove should continue using EZ to collect trash instead using ABC Waste. To support this recommendation the arguer points out the evidence that EZ collects trash twice a week while ABC collects only once; then EZ which, like ABC ,currently has a fleet of 20 trucks -has ordered additional trucks; EZ provides exceptional service:80percent of respondents to last year's town survey were satisfied with EZ's performance .However ,careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it provides little credible support for the arguer's recommendation.


To begin with, the fact that EZ collects trash twice a week while ABC collects only once is scant evidence in itself that the frequency does not mean quality, although ABC collects only once a week but the ABC go around Walnut Grove for all day and go to the area where EZ do not reach. Without considering and eliminating these and other possible reasons why EZ go frequently than ABC ,firstly,the author did not take the number of trucks which EZ or ABC sent during a day into consideration, maybe ABC sent 12 cars a day but EZ sent only 3 trucks a day and collects trashes twice a week.


Furthermore ,the fact that EZ which, like ABC ,currently has a fleet of 20 trucks -has ordered additional trucks does not necessarily mean that EZ sent the more trucks than ABC.It is entirely possible that although ABC have less trucks ,but ABC sent all the cars to collect trashes and EZ will only sent 6 or 7 trucks. In fact ,EZ has ordered additional trucks is not the further evidence that EZ have more trucks than ABC ,the speaker did not mention whether ABC will order more trucks in the future,so maybe ABC will order more trucks.


     A final problem with the argument involves that EZ provides exceptional service:80percent of respondents to last year's town survey were satisfied with EZ's performance. Admittedly, this evidence lends some measure of support to the recommendation. However ,the author ignores the possibility that authority of the survey, EZ offer the result of the survey. Lacking evidence to the contrary ,it is entirely possible that only a little crowd of people join in the survey, or EZ made a number by the company.
Until the author accounts for these possibilities, I cannot be persuaded that EZ is better than ABC.

     In the final analysis the recommendation of choosing EZ for collecting cash is not well supported. To strengthen it the author must provide detailed demographic evidence showing that EZ have the best method and have better quality in collecting rubbish, offering the real satisfaction for EZ.
A proper evaluation of the recommendation requires more information about …of other locales under consideration ,and about the willingness of these other.
为了梦想,努力!

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发表于 2010-7-26 22:35:19 |显示全部楼层
In this memoletter, the arguerwriter/letter writer suggested 如果你下边决定用现在时(points),那这里也用现在吧 that Walnut Grove 's townshould continue using EZ to collect trash instead using ABC Waste. To support this recommendation the arguer points out the evidence that EZ collects trash twice a week while ABC collects itonly once; then EZ which, like ABC ,currently has a fleet of 20 trucks -has ordered additional trucks; EZ provides exceptional service:80percent of respondents to last year's town survey were satisfied with EZ's performance .However ,careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it provides little credible support for the arguer's recommendation. 我觉得第一段没必要这么长。可以总结段子观点,但太长就拖沓了

To begin with, the fact that EZ collects trash twice a week while ABC collects only once is scant 【hardly】 evidence in itself that the frequency does not mean quality,给个句号吧,这里 although ABC collects only once a week but the ABC go around Walnut Grove for all day and go to the area where EZ does not reach. Without considering and eliminating these and other possible reasons why EZ go frequently than ABC ,firstly,the author did not take the number of trucks which EZ or ABC sent during a day into consideration, maybe ABC sent 12 cars a day but EZ sent only 3 trucks a day and collects trashes twice a week.我的想法是,如果3辆trucks就够的话,也没必要派12辆车呀~ 之所以来两次被认为比来一次好,是不是因为他们觉得垃圾及时清理会更好些?所以我个人觉得最后一句的论证是不是不够strong?
Furthermore ,the fact that EZ which, like ABC ,currently has a fleet of 20 trucks -has ordered additional trucks does not necessarily mean that EZ sent the more trucks than ABC.It is entirely possible 【probable】that although ABC have less trucks ,but although和but重复啦ABC sent all the cars to collect trashes and EZ will only sent 6 or 7 trucks. In fact ,the fact thatEZ has ordered additional trucks is not the further evidence that EZ have more trucks than ABC ,the speaker did not mention whether ABC will order more trucks in the future,so maybe ABC will order more trucks.

     A final problem with the argument involves that EZ provides exceptional service:80percent of respondents to last year's town survey were satisfied with EZ's performance. Admittedly, this evidence lends some measure of 如果是我用的话就不加measure ofsupport to the recommendation. However ,the author ignores the possibility that authority of the survey, EZ offer the result of the survey不,writer没说谁做的survey,不一定是ez给的。exceptional=outstanding. Lacking evidence to the contrary 这一句是啥意思呀,it is entirely possible probable that only a little crowd of people join in the survey, or EZ made a number by the company.Until the author accounts for these possibilities, I cannot be persuaded that EZ is better than ABC.

     In the final analysis the recommendation of choosing EZ for collecting cash trash ^-^is not well supported. To strengthen it the author must provide detailed demographic 这个词儿用的不贴切吧?evidence showing that EZ have the best method and have better quality in collecting rubbish, offering the real satisfaction for EZ.A proper evaluation of the recommendation requires more information about …of other locales under consideration ,and about the willingness of these other. 最后一句是没有完成吗?我看不太懂结构哦。不过当地人应该说local people,其他人最好说成those others
我觉得文章的论证挺全面的,但是可以更加简洁。比如说,本来开头就已经显得累赘了,每段一开始又把原文重新阐述一遍,挺没必要的,而且也浪费时间。省下这些时间之后,你差不多就可以按时完成啦~

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发表于 2010-7-26 23:13:29 |显示全部楼层
TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 482          TIME: 00:55:00          DATE: 2010/7/26 16:55:37

Should all the faculty be requires to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach? The speaker's idea is that they should do so to make progress of[in] the teaching quality of their field. But I do not think all the faculties [faculty=all the teachers in a university,一般作集体名词看待]should go out for a[删去a吧 好像一般working不多用名词吧?] working .To prove my opinion, I give the reasons as follows.

Firstly, in[to] some extent, I agree with the speaker's idea. The faculty who works [faculty members who work] in the engineering area or work in architecture area should be asked to spare no effort to get job opportunity [不一定是job,也可能是非正式的volunteering work 之类吧~]outside the academic world. If the faculties go out for working, they can get the straight tips of their major [they can get direct tips for improving their work related to their speciaty]. With these information, they can give their students better instrument[instruction?] just because these kinds of fields needs practice and the working experience. For example, my best friend's major is architecture, and she [连贯一点儿说,可以讲成:my best friend, who is a architecture major, found that]found that it is easier to understand a program when the teacher told them his personal feeling which he really have experienced before. At the same time,the faculty who work in these kind of field can also bring more job opportunity[ies] to their students, the students can work with their teacher and gain in goal-direct way [?没搞懂~]even when they are at school.

However, there are no absolute here with this suggestion[中式英语啦,是不是想说the suggestion may not work in (cannot be applied to) all academic areas]. We must analysis [analyze]different things under various situation[analyze problems case by case?]. If the faculty is not teaching in the field which needs practice experience[e.g.pysics or mathematics], the college or university's suggestion of going out for work is not a wise idea. Everybody has limited energy, If the faculty invested significant [amount of]time and effort in working outside the academic world, they may lose patience for their students. I will go even further that the college and university may lose the great teaching resource just because the great salary which the company offered.

As for the speaker's other[another] claim,that these actions aiming at improve [aims at improving]the quality of teaching at the college and university level.Can just step [stepping]out [of]the university improves [improve]the instruction level? I do not think that will work,not only just because the teacher spending their time on working outside may taking [divert]their attention from working,but we can also find a truth that improve [improving]the quality of instruction at college level totally depends on the teacher's willingness and his teaching method. The key point is that the teacher should broad[en] his eyesight and find a proper method for him to teach his students, just doing jobs in the faculty's field and do not share the experience with the students will do nothing at all.
[我觉得这一段调到上一段前边更加合适,因为可以和第二段直接衔接]
To sum up, the speaker may be partly groundless [好像不能这么用吧~]as with the idea that every faculty should find a job outside the academic atmosphere, but it is vitally important to acknowledge the fact that the fundamental rule for improve the conducted in the university is to let the teachers construct themselves [for improving the teaching quality in the unversity is to give teachers the freedom to improve themselves].

挺好一篇文章,我觉得如果能够尽量避免小错误以及合理调整逻辑顺序的话,思想还是很好的。如果想再拔高一点,也许可以添加一些实在的例子。看到范文总是例子一大把,而且还很贴切,很有说服力~

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RE: Issue No.50【六人行】&Arguement No.17 by Echo [修改]

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Issue No.50【六人行】&Arguement No.17 by Echo
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