Issue153【六人行小组7.29】by odie

odiehereUID: 2502172

TOPIC: ISSUE153 - "Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively."
WORDS: 453          TIME: 00:43:43          DATE: 2010-7-29 12:27:13
The development of the society is coupled with the advancement in scientific research, which is in turn driven by endless innovations made possible by skeptic and brave researchers, who tried every means to replace the old-fashioned belief with brand new thinkings. In this sense, I strongly agree with the statement that every student shall engage himself in an active paticipantion in the skeptic evaluation of what he is taught, so that new inspirations can be generated out of this process.
A failure of the society as a result of the lack of innovation will best tell the importance of skepticism. The ancient China in the 17th - 19th Century is a good example. In comparison to the western Euporean nations at that period, where individual's freedom of thinking and the strive for innovation in technology were widely respected as a result of the Remenicent movement, China was deeply contaminated by conservative fuedalism. The tycon of the nation's educational system is the "keju" mechanism, namely "recruiting government officials by exam" system. Test papers used in the exams stressed heavily on traditional Chinese literacy and poem writing. Free and individual thinking was forbidden in the exam. What the test-takers should do was only to follow the style of famouse poets and writers in the history. This sytem had directly influenced the nation's educational system. Students in classes were required to recite large amount of classical poems and articles which had no practical use in the society at the time. A nation without the encouragement for free thinking and skepticism to traditional belifs is due to end in failure. China ecnomics and techonology got hardly developed in hundreds of years, before it was defeated by British army in the 1840s, and later bullied by several other imperial nations in a whole century afterwards.
Skepticism is vital for the development of a nation, largely because it is one of the driving force for the progressing of a decipline. As a student majoring in linguistics, I know well of the history of the development of this dicipline, which abounds in skepticism and innovations. In the past several decades, we have witnessed a sharp change oin the direction of linguisitc research nearly every fifteen years. The emphasis of research has changed from behaviourism, to generativism, and finally to neu-cognitive today. Every change in direction is marked by a series of landmark innovative studies and a group of courageous researchers being skeptical of the past beliefs, providing resonable and compelling new evidence for the new direction.
In conclusion, skepticism is the start of serious thinking and the basis of innovations. Without encouragement for skepticism and emphsis on individual free thinking, no dicipline would manage to progress, nor would any nation.

xyjprcUID: 2412778

嗯，限时作文呀，真不容易~
不过，总地来说有两三个比较大的问题：
一是拼写。。。很多拼写错误呢！肯定超出ETS老头的“occasional spelling errors”的范围了。。。这个注意注意就好。
二是论证不够有力，这个是硬伤，虽然你的句子都比较流畅，但如果不能用来支撑你的观点是没用的。注意写论文不是提观点+举例子，最重要的是分析论证，而且不仅要有专门的句子用来分析论证，例子中的每一句话都要对主题有所贡献。这个你下回写的时候要多多注意呀~这是大方向~
三是要扣紧题目，其实是二是差不多了，看看别的同学的习作还有北美范文吧~
还有时间哦~一起加油~
下面上文章：

The development of the society is coupled with the[删] advancement in scientific research, which is in turn driven by endless innovations made possible by skeptic and brave researchers, who tried every means to replace the old-fashioned belief[believes] with brand new thinkings.[此句够牛。。。] In this sense, I strongly agree with the statement that every student shall engage himself in an active paticipantion[participation] in the[a] skeptic evaluation of what he is taught, so that new inspirations can be generated out of this process[后半句有点Chinglish].[总地来说开头段还是相当好的~]

A failure of the society as a result of the lack of innovation will best tell the importance of skepticism. The ancient China in the 17th - 19th Century is a good example. In comparison to[with] the western[是不是要大写？] Euporean[European] nations at that period, where individual's freedom of thinking and the strive for innovation in technology were widely respected as a result of the Remenicent[Reminiscent么？有这个运动？记错了吧。。。] movement, China was deeply contaminated[这个词不合适吧] by conservative feudalism[feudalism]. The tycon[tycoon] of the nation's educational system is the "keju" mechanism, namely "recruiting government officials by exam" system. Test papers used in the exams stressed heavily on traditional Chinese literacy and poem writing. Free and individual thinking was forbidden in the exam. What the test-takers should do was only to follow the style of famous[famous] poets and writers in the history. This sytem[system] had directly influenced[换个负面词吧~] the nation's educational system. Students in classes were required to recite large amount of classical poems and articles which had no practical use in the society at the time.[看到这里我觉得这个例子还可以精简一些，突出不假思索地继承前人的思想的这样一种体制] A nation without the encouragement for free thinking and skepticism to traditional belifs[beliefs] is due to end in failure. China economics[economics] and techonology[technology] got hardly developed[没有这种说法吧。。。hardly developed] in hundreds of years, before it was defeated by British army in the 1840s, and later bullied by several other imperial nations in a whole century afterwards.[例子就完了？这样不行吧，首先这个例子要精简，其次这个例子没有很好地支持你的主题，至少行文中没有注意让它支持你的主题，还有主题句在哪儿？似乎这一大段下来只是用来讲这一个例子而没有多少针对主题的深入的推理和分析，而这是ETS最看重的东西。]

Skepticism is vital for the development of a nation, largely because it is one of the driving force for the progressing of a decipline[discipline]. As a student majoring in linguistics, I know well of the history of the development of this discipline[discipline], which abounds in skepticism and innovations. In the past several decades, we have witnessed a sharp change oin[in] the direction of linguistic[linguistic] research nearly every fifteen years. The emphasis of research has changed from behaviourism[behaviorism], to generativism, and finally to neu-cognitive[neo-cognitive?] today. Every change in direction is marked by a series of landmark innovative studies and a group of courageous researchers being skeptical of the past beliefs, providing reasonable[reasonable] and compelling new evidence for the new direction.[这段没有什么“具体”的例子呀，而且问题同上，论据对论点的支持不够有力。如果你能举出哪一次具体改革和演变时，一个或一群人由怀疑而最终推翻前人的做法，开创新纪元，会好一些。同时还有个比较重要的问题，你没有把这个例子和学生结合起来，没有对这个论点深入的分析，只是举例是没有说服力的。]

In conclusion, skepticism is the start of serious thinking and the basis of innovations. Without encouragement for skepticism and emphasis[emphasis] on individual free thinking, no discipline[discipline] would manage to progress[manage to do是设法做什么吧，但discipline毕竟不是人。。。would be possible to progress是不是更好些], nor would any nation.

odiehereUID: 2502172

嗯 说的很在理啊
明天没有写作任务，我会好好把这一篇改改的。
一起加油！
2# xyjprc