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The concept that people should recognized by others can then achieve success(哪个才是你的动词?,词句改为 The cocept that those recognized people can achieve success easier) is somewhat widely accepted. As far as I see, among the reasons is that这是什么说法···· we can take advantage of advaices(拼写) from others people, which contribute greatly to our work. Besides, learning some useful experience from succeed men are also important for ourselves. However, at the same time, success can not only be opproached only via learning from others, and we should realize it with more personal endevour.(没有这个词组)这段写离题了,我还没有明白你想表达什么观点,站在哪一个方面说话
First of all, the importance of receiving suggestions from people, especially the influential one or your employers surrounded好长的定语,但是读着不是很舒服you can never be ignored, because, with the aid of such process,这个过程的目标? the mistakes can be reduced and more time can be saved. For example, before we learn to write a technology paper, some notices and rules your teacher gave to you can introduce you into this area which is new for you. And with the guided advices from the forerunners, your work can be run in a more efficient way. However, if you decide to complish the paper with yourself in the beginning, you should spend more time on finding out the methods how to orgnize your article, the way how to search the referenceds for your paper, even you would spend more time and energy on choosing a simulation tool.
Equally meaningful这个只能做定语的··不能做主语 is that, benefit from the successd people’s experiences, we can meet our goal in a short way. This also means that we should spend some time on studying the some other succeed examples before we get rid to start our job. The first advantage of that is other ones’ succeed work, sometimes, can be imitated or reused in our job. In that sense, we shorten our way of reanching the success. For another, the experience of other succed men who even not major in our field can still educate us with their inspirt of they achieve success.
Despite the fact that people can benefit a lot from the forer experience from influential people arround you, I have to say that personal indevour are the most important factor for us success. That is because both the inside elements and outside ones are been focused, success can be achieved. For example, after your know how to write a paper and also know some other details of how to finish it, a load of time and ennergy should spend on it, then can a perfect paper be complished.
In conclusion, although so wonderful function that our surrounding especially the succeed ones play for our job, we should not exaggerate the merits of doing so. Proper personal action should be actived is the key problem.
个人建议这篇文章重写,文章偏题了,不是问你被知名的人或者老板知道你的长处和成就有什么好处,而是他们知道是不是能一定成功。其次,LZ的语法句式以及用词要多联系,很多句子主语谓语混乱,单词如果不会用高级的就用一般的,不然会显得很突兀而且不明白你在说什么,最后就是不要自己生造词组,批得较狠望LZ见谅~ |
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