欢迎拍砖~Issue69【六人行小组8.6】by xyjprc

xyjprcUID: 2412778

第一次限时1小时写Issue（其实早该限了），发现时间很紧，许多想表达的意思都没来得及表达，看来还需要练啊！
嗯，写到后面感觉这个话题应该写成“对于不同的科研应该具体问题具体分析”，不过有点晚了，只有在结尾的时候把主题拉了一下。。。
感谢帮我改习作的同学，着重改行文思路和逻辑吧~！

TOPIC: ISSUE69 - "Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"
WORDS: 503          TIME: 01:00:00          DATE: 8/7/2010 11:16:14 AM

Science, a two-edged weapon that can be used equally for good and evil, have significantly changed our life. In this era of rapid technological and social change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, both positive and negative effects of scientific research and development call for carefully balanced restrictions placed by the government.

Placing restrictions on scientific research and development is indispensable to ensuring our safety and maintaining ethics. To begin with, the public safety would be seriously endangered if any scientific research was allowed by the government. In such a case, anything evil that beyond our wildest guess could be conducted to undermine the public safety. If terrorists have the acccess to any libraries and laboratories that enable them to research on and develop weapons of mass destruction, none could imagine the casualties if they would like to try the weapons out at the Times Square of New York City. On the other hand, the scientific research on unethical projects should be banned by the government. Simply put, if ethical matters are paid little attention in scientific research, we would leave our offsprings a massy world. Cloning human is the most controversial topic in the world of science. The children "made" by cloning have no parents, and they tend not to grow up soundly and sane without the companion and instructions from their parents. Moreover, if lives could be created by cloning, life would depreciate, making social chaos and wars not far beyond. In a word, a world without restrictions on scientific research and development would be a mass and impossible for us to live.

However, placing too much restrictions on beneficiary scientific projects would also hamper the progress of science. The prohibition of scientific research and development for fear of the potential harm that science could bring about simultaneously abandons the profit that science could provide. Take North Korea as an example. The North Korea Government, for fear that its citizens listen to the voices from other countries and communicate with the outer world so as not to follow the instructions of the government, banned any research, development and use of radios. The government successfully, at least seems so, isolated its citizens from the outer world, but also stops the advancement of research on wireless electronic devices. Even now the country has not the technology to produce cellphones, televisions, and its people are suffering from the lack of spiritual entertainment. The excessive limitation on scientific research is incompatible with the world which hampers the advancement of science and eventually turns out to be a living tragedy.

Without restrictions, science could be used for evil and eventually undermine the public safety and offend ethics. With too strict restrictions, the advancement of science would be hampered and the living standards of citizens would be significantly affected. Thus, while we demand our govenment putting restrictions on potential dangerous scientific research, we hope the restrictions not too strict on other beneficiary scientific research projects, and the government has the responsibility to hold the balance.

odiehereUID: 2502172

TOPIC: ISSUE69 - "Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"
WORDS: 503          TIME: 01:00:00          DATE: 8/7/2010 11:16:14 AM
Science, a two-edged weapon that can be used equally for good and evil, have significantly changed our life. In this era of rapid technological and social change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, both positive and negative effects of scientific research and development call for carefully balanced restrictions placed by the government[开头挺明了的 不错].
Placing restrictions on scientific research and development is indispensable to ensuring our safety and maintaining ethics. To begin with, the public safety would be seriously endangered if any scientific research was allowed by the government[表达任何的时候，这样可能有歧义。不如直接说all]. In such a case, anything evil that beyond our wildest guess could be conducted to undermine the public safety. If terrorists have the acccess to any libraries and laboratories that enable them to research on and develop weapons of mass destruction, none could imagine the casualties if they would like to try the weapons out at the Times Square of New York City[这个例子并不是说对科技发展设限，而是防范科技成果被滥用哇]. On the other hand, the scientific research on unethical projects should be banned by the government. Simply put, if ethical matters are paid little attention in scientific research, we would leave our offsprings a massy world. Cloning human is the most controversial topic in the world of science. The children "made" by cloning have no parents, and they tend not to grow up soundly and sane without the companion and instructions from their parents. Moreover, if lives could be created by cloning, life would depreciate, making social chaos and wars not far beyond. [嗯 看来要尽量避免用clone，abortion等例子了，因为你我都在用。。。]In a word, a world without restrictions on scientific research and development would be a mass 【mess】and impossible for us to live.
However, placing too much restrictions on beneficiary scientific projects would also hamper the progress of science. The prohibition of scientific research and development for fear of the potential harm that science could bring about simultaneously abandons the profit that science could provide. Take North Korea as an example. The North Korea Government, for fear that its citizens listen to the voices from other countries and communicate with the outer world so as not to follow the instructions of the government, banned any research, development and use of radios[did they really ban all of them? including military research on it? try refine the wording of your argument. Can you say "they banned most research on civilian tele-communication technologies"]. The government successfully, at least seems so, isolated its citizens from the outer world, but also stops the advancement of research on wireless electronic devices. Even now the country has not the technology to produce cellphones, televisions, and its people are suffering from the lack of spiritual entertainment. The excessive limitation on scientific research is incompatible with the world which hampers the advancement of science and eventually turns out to be a living tragedy[这个长句的语法有问题，主要是指代不清].
Without restrictions, science could be used for evil and eventually undermine the public safety and offend ethics. With too strict restrictions, the advancement of science would be hampered and the living standards of citizens would be significantly affected. Thus, while we demand our govenment putting restrictions on potential dangerous scientific research, we hope the restrictions not too strict on other beneficiary scientific research projects, and the government has the responsibility to hold the balance. [结尾还是挺清晰的，把主要论点都重新阐述了一下。]
[限时作文不容易啊，即使是1个小时组织出这么一篇文章也是了不起的事情。倒数第二段的论证语言不够简洁，论据也稍显单一，看看能不能想办法改的更深刻写呢？加油！另外，对于你后来想到的新的思路，你有什么想法呢？也许照着那个思路修改是成功的]
1# xyjprc

xyjprcUID: 2412778

2# odiehere

谢谢你的批改哦~
我的想法是，这个题目属于should类的吧，一般来说should类的不写折衷形式的@@，所以是不是可以把我第二段中的两点拆成两段写，原来倒数第二段写短一些作让步~