cqx83的作文帖，求批

cqx83UID: 2671579

第一次开始写，希望狠批，谢谢~~

8月31日交
09.05.30NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

As modern society develops, an increasing number of people concern about the question about how to educate their children. So there is a fierce debate about whether younger school children should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language. While a fair proportion of people disagree with the idea, I, personally, support it, arguing that, in the long run, there will be inevitable possibility that children can gain a lot of benefit from learning it.

The first reason that I want to put forward is that studying art and music, unlike studying other subjects, can be a way to help children to relax themselves in the future, which is good for them to get rid of the pressure from everywhere. My classmate Tom is a good example of this. He studied playing piano when he was in primary school. After studying several hours and feeling tired, he usually stops studying and executes a piece of music. He thinks it is like a kind of rest, which can make him feel comfortable. If younger school children studying art and music like Tom, no doubt they own an excellent mean of relaxing, even enjoying life.

Another equally essential reason why I advocate the necessity for children to study art and music is that art and music can help children learn many other things better, such as culture and life, which may have beneficial influence on their future lives. One example to illustrate the point is that most outstanding person in the world, no matter what their major are, have a great understanding of art and music, even some of them are artists and musician. So, studying art and music is definite a good way to make children better, and it could be regard as an essential step for children to become a peacock among sparrows in the future.

Admittedly, despite the various merits of this idea, it also has some undeniable drawbacks. An obvious one is that the time is not enough. Nowadays, there are so many subjects for children to learn, which led to a result that children are so busy that they really want some time to play and have rest. Under this situation, children may not be pleasure about using time to study art and music, which may not be interesting for them from their perspectives.

In a nutshell, after considering the pros and cons of the issue, we have found that the merits of requiring younger school children to study art and music overweigh its downsides. Thus, we can safely come to the conclusion that it is better for the children, who are at the age of five to ten being required to study art and music.

Icybaby77UID: 2893399

太模板化啦。。。结尾再次强调自己的观点在这么300多字的文章里是没有必要的（我在新东方上的。。是我们写作老师说的，。。。），最好提个建议之类的。。。、
总体感觉不够灵活太死板。。。也就是模板的问题了。。。

cqx83UID: 2671579

2# Icybaby77

嗯，说得有道理，刚开始上手，所以用模板是有点多，谢谢啦~

dukenuneeUID: 2859326

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

As modern society develops, an increasing number of people concern about the question about how to educate their children. So there is a fierce debate about whether younger school children should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language. While a fair proportion of people disagree with the idea, I, personally, support it, arguing that, in the long run, there will be inevitable/certain possibility that children can gain a lot of benefit benefit a lot from learning it.: y$ H0 U"

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The first reason that I want to put forward is that studying art and music, unlike studying other subjects, can be a way to help children to relax themselves in the future, which is good for them to get rid of the pressure from everywhere. My classmate Tom is a good example of this. He studied playing piano when he was in primary school. After studying 指代不太明确several hours and feeling tired, he usually stops studying and executes a piece of music. He thinks it is like a kind of rest, which can make him feel comfortable. If younger school children studying art and music like Tom, no doubt they own an excellent mean of relaxing, even enjoying life. Considering Tom's example, children may find it an excellent way to relax themselves and enioying life by playing a piece music of music.

Another equally essential reason why I advocate the necessity for children to study art and music is that art and music can help children learn many other things better, such as culture and life, which may have beneficial influence on their future lives. One example to illustrate the point is that most outstanding person in the world, no matter what their major are, have a great understanding of art and music, even some of them are artists and musician. So, studying art and music is definite a good way to make children better/not clear, and it could be regard as an essential step for children to become a peacock among sparrows in the future.% ]& \

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Admittedly, despite the various merits of this idea, it also has some undeniable drawbacks. An obvious one is that the time is not enough. Nowadays, there are so many subjects for children to learn, which led to a result that children are so busy that they really want some time to play and have rest. Under this situation, children may not be pleasure about using time to/of learning art and music, which may not be interesting for them from their perspectives./is less interesting than playing from their perspectives.

In a nutshell, after considering the pros and cons of the issue, we have found that the merits of requiring younger school children to study art and music overweigh its downsides. Thus, we can safely come to the conclusion that it is better for the children, who are at the age of five to ten being required to study art and music.

shufescUID: 2616499

个人意见，仅供参考！
加油~~

cqx83UID: 2671579

09.06.12NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.

According to a recent statistic on the Internet, there is about 50 percent of university students used to take part-time jobs or do it right now. Nowadays, an increasing number of people concern about the topic that whether students should take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities. Some people hold the view that part-time job is good for students so they should take it while others opposite it. As far as I concerned, I support the former one, arguing that there will be inevitable possibility that university students can benefit a lot from taking part-time job in the long run.

To begin with, part-time job is a good way for university students to put what they have learned into practice, which is significant for them. As we all know, if we just study in the classroom, no matter how much knowledge or skills we gain, they don’t belong to us and can’t work for us. Only when we put them into practice, can we turn them to our own capability. For example, if someone what to be an excellent chief, he not only should know how to make every dish, but also make it by himself a great number of times. Only in this way does he realize where he should improve, and then he may make his dream come true. In light of this, part-time job is essential for university students who will go to work a few years later.

Another equally essential reason why I advocate the necessity for student to take part-time job while they are in university is that students can improve their skill of communicating with other through part-time job, which is so crucial for their future life. There is no denying the fact that no one could survive in the society without others’ help. If someone communicates with anyone else friendly, such as workmate, customer, he will be popular among people, which have good influence on his work. My uncle is a suitable example for this point; he is good at talk to others, which led to a result that all of his workmates like him. So when he has some problem in work, everyone is pleased to give him a hand. So, taking part-time job is definite a good way to make students better, and it could be regard as an essential preparation for them to get into society in the future.

Admittedly, taking part-time job is not a perfect choice for university students. It has some inescapable drawbacks. The most conspicuous one is that part-time job takes students’ time which is for studying. As a result, students don’t have enough time to review what they have learned in the class. It also may make students tired which may decrease the efficiency of studying.

Based on the above analysis, we have found that the merits of taking part-time job overweigh its downsides. But university students should arrange their schedule well when they are taking part-time job to make sure it will not influence their study a lot. After all, study is the priority for students.

asamsunUID: 2884772

所有的Part-time job+s
do it right now:it->them
inevitable possibility这个用法第一次见，求指点
if someone what to be an excellent chief ：what->want
总的来说写的不错，词汇，句子变化很多，向你学习

执着的丸子UID: 2626299

写得太好了，我都挑不出啥问题。。。向你学习！

cqx83UID: 2671579

09.08.01NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life.

In recent years, the topic how to be successful has aroused widely discussion among people. A fair proportion of people hold the view that if someone does not make sure other people, especially influential people or his employers, know about his strengths and accomplishments, he will never get successful in life. Others, however, disagree with this opinion. As far as I am concern, I support the former one, arguing that, in the long run, there will be inevitable possibility that anyone can benefit a lot from influential people or employers if they know his or her capability.

To begin with, No matter how intelligent or strength a person is, he has to agree the fact that internal power of one person is not enough to support him to become successful. So, some external thing such as popularity, which some people don't believe, sometimes could be regarded as the most significant part of one's success. If you let the influential people know about your strengths and accomplishments, they may make other people know about you, which means you virtually advertising for yourself. It is so crucial for anyone who wants to be successful.

Moreover, making other people know your strengths and accomplishments will bring you opportunity which can make yourself better. As we all know, employers always choose employees who have competence to do important work, as a result, those employees can get a lot experience and become more excellent, so they are usually easy to get promotion. On the contrary, people who don’t have chance to examine their ability and get enough experience, they can’t make progress, let alone success. That is a good example illustrated that we need employers to realize our strengths.

Admittedly, the importance of making others know one's strengths and accomplishment should not be overstated. The first thing for success is the capability. Only we own enough capability, can we make others realize, then we may become successful. Otherwise, everything is castle in the air.

In a nutshell, I'd like to say that making other people know our strengths and accomplishments is a good way to gain popularity and opportunity which are both significant for success. Meanwhile, we should make ourselves more competent. Only in this way, can we become the peacock among sparrows.

日落沙发UID: 2764889

9# cqx83

In recent years, the topic (加 of ) how to be successful has aroused widely discussion among people. A fair proportion of people hold the view that if someone does not make sure other people, especially influential people or his employers, know about his strengths and accomplishments, he will never get successful in life. Others, however, disagree with this opinion. As far as I am concern (concerned), I support the former one, arguing that, in the long run, there will be inevitable possibility that anyone can benefit a lot from influential people or employers if they know his or her capability.


To begin with, No matter how intelligent or strength a person is, he has to agree (加with) the fact that internal power of one person is not enough to support him to become successful. So, some external thing such as popularity, which some people don't believe, sometimes could be regarded as the most significant part of one's success. If you let the influential people know about your strengths and accomplishments, they may make other people know about you, which means (改成mean) you virtually advertising for yourself. It is so crucial for anyone who wants to be successful.

Moreover, making other people know your strengths and accomplishments will bring you opportunity which can make yourself better. As we all know, employers always choose employees who have competence to do important work, as a result, those employees can get a lot experience and become more excellent, so they are usually easy to get promotion. On the contrary, people who don’t have chance to examine their ability and get enough experience, they can’t make progress, let alone success. That is a good example illustrated that we need employers to realize our strengths.

Admittedly, the importance of making others know one's strengths and accomplishment should not be overstated. The first thing for success is the capability. Only we own enough capability, can we make others realize, then we may become successful. Otherwise, everything is castle in the air. (第一段表态，接着两段都是在支持自己的观点，然后这一段临近结尾的时候，说自己的观点有一点问题，，，，个人觉得这种正，正，负的写法不如负，正，正的好)

In a nutshell, I'd like to say that making other people know our strengths and accomplishments is a good way to gain popularity and opportunity which are both significant for success. Meanwhile, we should make ourselves more competent. Only in this way, can we become the peacock among sparrows.

总体来说，写得不错！
加油！

melodyfeelingsUID: 2855338

同样是AGREE  同样的思路
楼主的论点阐述的比我的清楚多了 多了
抛开个别小笔误 灰常的赞啊！还要多向楼主学习！

melodyfeelingsUID: 2855338

再请问LZ 一个小问题
这篇作文写了多长时间？

cqx83UID: 2671579

12# melodyfeelings

不敢当，我也是最近才开始动笔写，这篇写了差不多一小时吧，速度还需大大提高啊

cqx83UID: 2671579

9月9日交
2009.9.11NA agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life'

Nowadays, an increasing number of people are pleased to go to the cinema not only because watching movies become a good way of relaxing, but also sometimes, people can learn something about our life from movies. Therefore, a fair proportion of people believe that it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life. Others, however, hold the opposite view. As far as I am concerned, I support the latter one. My reasons are as follows.

To begin with, I admit that the movies, which we can learn something about life, are good choice for us to watch. We can deny the fact that there are so many classical films in the history, which have profound philosophy of life, attracting millions of people to go to the cinema, and some of them even win the Oscar academy award. The film Forrest Gump is an excellent example. It told people some meaningful sentences about life which we can hear people say them, although the film has passed over 15 years. In light of this, some meaningful is really worth to watch.

However, we can’t make a conclusion that it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life. First, as we all know, most of people watch movies in order to relax themselves and get out of the reality for just a while. Consequently, there will be inevitable possibility that people will choose an interesting or exciting movie rather than a meaningful but boring one to watch. My friend Tom is an example to illustrate the point. He says that some movies are so boring that he won’t watch them though he may understand something about life from them. He just watches the movies which can make people excited, such as Transformer and the Harry Potter series.

Moreover, not all of movies are to teach people something about real life. We can even say only a few of movies have a purpose like this, though they may include some profound philosophy. For instance, the film Avatar, which earns over 2 billion dollar around the world, is absolutely a splendid movie in history. Nevertheless, the part where attract people most is its technology of 3D, and some audiences think the movie is worthwhile even it only has the technology. In light of this, movie can bring us much more than the knowledge of real life, and it also like a mirror which can reflect the improvement of science and technology in recent years. We can see a lot of things through the movie.

Based on the above reasons and analysis, I’d like to say it is worth watching movies which can teach us life philosophy, but it’s not the only choice because movies have other functions. As long as people could get what they want from movie, the movie is worthwhile.

小飞瞎UID: 2865496

修改好了！