菜鸟级选手作文求拍贴~~~

妄北EchoUID: 2854157

明天开始有作业滴

妄北EchoUID: 2854157

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

The financial crisis happened last year scared people around the world and caused many famous top 500 companies in the world bankrupted, resulting in the fact that the employment rate dramatically diminished. Being afraid of the more and more fierce competition and the diminishing employment rate, parents nowadays are pushing their children to study hard and spare no efforts to enter the college, bringing about result that teenagers’ lives are filled with "necessary subjects" like math, science, history and language. Does this kind of study plan really do something good to our children? I don't think so. Frankly speaking, studying art and music is still essential to young school children, especially those who are about five to ten.

To begin with, the children who are younger could learn much faster and better. It is known to all that the education during a person's childhood would influence the person's whole life. Learning art and music in addition to math, science, history and language could broadens children's views and gains them more choices about which field they will choose in the future. Some children may be born to learn the subjects like math, science, history and language, while others may have talent for art and music. The world-known piano player Lang Lang has been learning piano since he is five years old. Moving by his talent and diligence when he is playing piano, Lang Lang's father did not push his son to learn the "necessary subjects" at school but encouraged his son to chase his dream and to become a excellent piano player. With his father's support, Lang Lang finally gains success and wins applause of people from all over the world.

Moreover, studying art and music can not only provide children with many different career choices, but also gain them more effectiveness and effiency when they are learning math, science, history and language. Enjoying the splendid music children could lose themselves in the beautiful melody; Viewing the inviting painting of the Eiffel Tower, children are able to imagine a realistic trip to Paris. What a wonderful feeling! It is essential for students to relax after they have been studying for a long time. Learning to enjoy the art and music can definitely help students to reach this direction. Consequently, if parents want their children to learn more effectiveness, they have to let them learn art and music, which is of great importance to relieve depression and reduce stress.

What's more, learning art and music could do good to children's future and their career. People who known about art and music are usually more easy-going than other people and they often have a good knowledge of communication skills, which is of great importance in one's career. Those who just known "necessary knowledge" cannot have a better career than those who have a broadened horizon.

To sum it up, from what has discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that younger children should be required to learn art and music in addition to math, science, history and language. To have better being, better communication skills, and more effectiveness study, art and music are absolutely essential.

luolnUID: 2689004

The financial crisis happened last year scared people around the world and caused many famous top 500 companies in the world bankrupted, resulting in the fact that the employment rate dramatically diminished. Being afraid of the more and more fierce competition and the diminishing employment rate, parents nowadays are pushing their children to study hard and spare no efforts to enter the college, bringing about result that teenagers’ lives are filled with "necessary subjects" like math, science, history and language. Does this kind of study plan really do something good to our children? I don't think so. Frankly speaking, studying art and music is still essential to young school children, especially those who are about five to ten.
---开头太长了，宜快速切题
To begin with, the children who are younger could learn much faster and better. It is known to all that the education during a person's childhood would influence the person's whole life. Learning art and music in addition to math, science, history and language could broadens children's views and gains them more choices about which field they will choose in the future. Some children may be born to learn the（去掉） subjects like math, science, history and language, while others may have talent for art and music. The world-known piano player Lang Lang has been learning piano since he is five years old. Moving(我一个作文老师特反感用moving，说可以改成touched) by his talent and diligence when he is playing piano, Lang Lang's father did not push his son to learn the "necessary subjects" at school but encouraged his son to chase his dream and to become a excellent piano player. With his father's support, Lang Lang finally gains success and wins applause of people from all over the world.

---gain 这个单词，怎么总是这样用？ 应该是they gain sth.吧

Moreover, studying art and music can not only provide children with many different career choices, but also gain them more effectiveness and effiency when they are learning math, science, history and language. Enjoying the splendid music children could lose themselves in the beautiful melody; Viewing the inviting painting of the Eiffel Tower, children are able to imagine a realistic trip to Paris. What a wonderful feeling! It is essential for students to relax after they have been studying for a long time. Learning to enjoy the art and music can definitely help students to reach this direction. Consequently, if parents want their children to learn more effectiveness( 搭配有误）they have to let them learn art and music, which is of great importance to relieve depression and reduce stress.

What's more, learning art and music could do good to children's future and their career. People who known about art and music are usually more easy-going than other people and they often have a good knowledge of communication skills, which is of great importance in one's career. Those who just known "necessary knowledge" cannot have a better career than those who have a broadened horizon. （此处可以用一个调查之类的来说明）

To sum it up, from what has discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that younger children should be required to learn art and music in addition to math, science, history and language. To have better being, better communication skills, and more effectiveness study, art and music are absolutely essential.


字数好长啊，这位仁兄可是写过GRE的AW的？ 很有那风范。 但托福作文好像还有些不一样的地方，需要慢慢琢磨一下才行呀，共同努力了～～～

AnnneUID: 2819919

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.
  j  h" H7 H2 s1 z) D! F; E9 e2 K
The financial crisis happened last year scared people around the world and caused many famous top 500 companies in the world bankrupted, resulting in the fact that the employment rate dramatically diminished. Being afraid of the more and more fierce competition and the diminishing employment rate, parents nowadays are pushing their children to study hard and spare no efforts to enter the college, bringing about result that teenagers’ lives are filled with "necessary subjects" like math, science, history and language. Does this kind of study plan really do something good to our children? I don't think so. Frankly speaking, studying art and music is still essential to young school children, especially those who are about five to ten.$ u  d5 g" p& `! I! }2 O" [

To begin with, the children who are younger could learn much faster and better. It is known to all that the education during a person's childhood would influence the person's whole life. Learning art and music in addition to math, science, history and language could broadens children's views and gains them more choices about which field they will choose in the future. Some children may be born to learn the subjects like math, science, history and language, while others may have talent for art and music. The world-known piano player Lang Lang has been learning piano since he is five years old. Moving by his talent and diligence when he is playing piano, Lang Lang's father did not push his son to learn the "necessary subjects" at school but encouraged his son to chase his dream and to become a excellent piano player. With his father's support, Lang Lang finally gains success and wins applause of people from all over the world.

Moreover, studying art and music can not only provide children with many different career choices, but also gain them more effectiveness and effiency when they are learning math, science, history and language. Enjoying the splendid music children could lose themselves in the beautiful melody; Viewing the inviting painting of the Eiffel Tower, children are able to imagine a realistic trip to Paris. What a wonderful feeling! It is essential for students to relax after they have been studying for a long time. Learning to enjoy the art and music can definitely help students to reach this direction. Consequently, if parents want their children to learn more effectiveness, they have to let them learn art and music, which is of great importance to relieve depression and reduce stress.
6 U; b' S4 y, |6 J$ M
What's more, learning art and music could do good to children's future and their career. People who known about art and music are usually more easy-going than other people and they often have a good knowledge of communication skills, which is of great importance in one's career. Those who just known "necessary knowledge" cannot have a better career than those who have a broadened horizon.- s/ x# O7 [6 @, ]( j# a
$ Q$ [( I3 L! l2 }5 X8 r
To sum it up, from what has discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that younger children should be required to learn art and music in addition to math, science, history and language. To have better being, better communication skills, and more effectiveness study, art and music are absolutely essential.



基本功不错，语言简洁明了一点更好
俺觉得第三第四段换一下位置会更符合逻辑
开头最好直接了当，那个金融危机跟本题的关系不大，可以不写那么长

妄北EchoUID: 2854157

2009.9.11NA  agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life。
There is a general discussion nowadays on movies that are available to the public. Some people argue that only those who can teach audience about real life are worth watching, but people who advocate different movie types, on the other hand, argue that we should watch different types of movies to broaden our knowledge and stimulate our passion for the real life. From my perspective, although there are some movies wasting our time when we are watching them, the advantages of watching different types of movies obviously outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin with, spending time on the movies could help relieve stress and enjoy ourselves. Movies taught us a lot of things that we could not learn in classes. Some movies that are not connected with real life still benefit us a lot. We may point out an example of Disney carton, which influenced generations of children enormously. This kind of movie type were designed for children at first, but later on it developed to a movie type that was popular among adults. Although it can not tell us about rules about real life, it could help people relieve depression and reduce stress from work and study. Watching Mickey on the screen, we forget the confusing work and study that are full of pressure, resulting in the fact that we find happiness in out real life and forget the borning things in work.
In addition, leaving time for different kinds of movies could stimulate out imagination. Some movies did not design to teach audience about real life, but to imagine a world that was not existed realistically like "The Matrix", "Avatar" and "Artificial Intelligence". These kinds of movies imagined a world that is not existed. People in the movies always have intelligent minds and surprising skills that people cannot have in the real world. Many people watch these kind of movies to stimulate their imagination, which could bring benefit to their work and study. For instance, the famous writer in China named Echo likes to watch these kind of movies to create imagination that is essential when she is writing fictions. Besides, those people who have job like design also need imagination, and watching movies is a good way to get them.
However, although watching movies that could not teach us things about real life secures enormous advantages as we talked above, the negative aspect of it could not be left out. Some movies that contains violent and sexual scenes not only are not wothy of watching, but also could bring unexpecting results to us. These kind of movies would definitely bring bad influence to children and teenagers and should be absolutely forbidden among young people.
To sum it up, from what has been discussed above, we could safely come to the conclusion that the advantages of watching different types of movies outweigh any benefit we can gain from only watching the movies that can teach us about real life.

chxh2020UID: 2587109

There is a general discussion nowadays on movies that are available to the public. Some people argue that only those who can teach audience about real life are worth watching, but people who advocate different movie types, on the other hand, argue that we should watch different types of movies to broaden our knowledge and stimulate our passion for the real life. From my perspective, although there are some movies wasting our time when we are watching them, the advantages of watching different types of movies obviously outweigh the disadvantages.(开篇写得很好，长短句交替运用很娴熟)
To begin with, spending time on the movies could help relieve stress and enjoy ourselves. Movies taught us a lot of things that we could not learn in classes. Some movies that are not connected with real life still benefit us a lot. We may point out an example of Disney carton, which influenced generations of children enormously. This kind of movie type were designed for children at first, but later on it developed to a movie type that was popular among adults. Although it can not tell us about rules about real life, it could help people relieve depression and reduce stress from work and study. Watching Mickey on the screen, we forget the confusing work and study that are full of pressure, resulting in the fact that we find happiness in out real life and forget the boring things in work."
In addition, leaving time for different kinds of movies could stimulate our imagination. Some movies did not design to teach audience about real life, but to imagine a world that was not existed realistically like "The Matrix", "Avatar" and "Artificial Intelligence". These kinds of movies imagined a world that is not existed. People in the movies always have intelligent minds and surprising skills that people cannot have in the real world. Many people watch these kinds of movies to stimulate their imagination, which could bring benefit to their work and study. For instance, the famous writer in China named Echo likes to watch these kind of movies to create imagination that is essential when she is writing fictions. Besides, those people who have job like design also need imagination, and watching movies is a good way to get them.
However, although watching movies that could not teach us things about real life secures enormous advantages as we talked above, the negative aspect of it could not be left out. Some movies that contains violent and sexual scenes not only are not worthy of watching, but also could bring unexpecting results to us. These kind of movies would definitely bring bad influence to children and teenagers and should be absolutely forbidden among young people.5
To sum it up, from what has been discussed above, we could safely come to the conclusion that the advantages of watching different types of movies outweigh any benefit we can gain from only watching the movies that can teach us about real life.

这位仁兄文字基础很好啊。文章比较长，字数比较多，观点很鲜明，论点很充足，想必也是训练得比较多，学习受教了。文中有些错字需要注意一下。

流淌在海德堡UID: 2619542

5# 妄北Echo

2009.9.11NA  agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life。 3 W% C1 M6 g% i* ]$ h5 MThere is a general discussion nowadays on movies that are available to the public. Some people argue that only those who can teach audience about real life are worth watching, but people who advocate different movie types, on the other hand, argue that we should watch different types of movies to broaden our knowledge and stimulate our passion for the real life. From my perspective, although there are some movies wasting our time when we are watching them, the advantages of watching different types of movies obviously outweigh the disadvantages. ! L/ l: W. h7 \. m1 |! l( s9 zTo begin with, spending time on the movies could help relieve stress and enjoy ourselves. Movies taught us a lot of things that we could not learn in classes. Some movies that are not connected with real life still benefit us a lot. We may point out an example of Disney carton, which influenced generations of children enormously. This kind of movie type were designed for children at first, but later on it developed to a movie type that was popular among adults. Although it can not tell us about rules about real life, it could help people relieve depression and reduce stress from work and study. Watching Mickey on the screen, we forget the confusing work and study that are full of pressure, resulting in the fact that we find happiness in out real life and forget the borning things in work. 0 C: _2 t. V# l$ E  y) JIn addition, leaving time for different kinds of movies could stimulate out imagination. Some movies did not design to teach audience about real life, but to imagine a world that was not existed realistically like "The Matrix", "Avatar" and "Artificial Intelligence". These kinds of movies imagined a world that is not existed. People in the movies always have intelligent minds and surprising skills that people cannot have in the real world. Many people watch these kind of movies to stimulate their imagination, which could bring benefit to their work and study. For instance, the famous writer in China named Echo likes to watch these kind of movies to create imagination that is essential when she is writing fictions. Besides, those people who have job like design also need imagination, and watching movies is a good way to get them. , j/ r/ v) W" s7 @9 R- HHowever, although watching movies that could not teach us things about real life secures enormous advantages as we talked above, the negative aspect of it could not be left out. Some movies that contains violent and sexual scenes not only are not wothy of watching, but also could bring unexpecting results to us. These kind of movies would definitely bring bad influence to children and teenagers and should be absolutely forbidden among young people. & L- `: z/ C! Z6 f9 BTo sum it up, from what has been discussed above, we could safely come to the conclusion that the advantages of watching different types of movies outweigh any benefit we can gain from only watching the movies that can teach us about real life.

2009.9.11NA  agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life。
There is a general discussion nowadays on movies that are available to the public. Some people argue that only those who(that)    teach audience about real life are worth watching, but people who advocate different movie types, on the other hand, argue that we should watch different types of movies to broaden our knowledge and stimulate our passion for the real life. From my perspective, although there are some movies wasting our time   删   (  when we are watching them)  ， the advantages of watching different types of movies obviously outweigh the disadvantages.; s0 i1 ji简明切题简明切题anming

简明切题
U$ @0 S
To begin with, spending time on the movies could help us relieve stress and enjoy ourselves. Movies taught us a lot of things that we could not learn in classes. Some movies that are not connected with real life still benefit us a lot. We may point out an example of Disney carton, which influenced generations of children enormously. This kind of movie type were(was ) designed  for children at first, but later on it developed to a movie type that was popular among adults. Although it can not tell us about rules about real life, it could help people relieve depression and reduce stress from work and study. Watching Mickey on the screen, we forget the confusing work and study that are full of pressure, resulting in the fact that we find happiness in out  (our)   real life and forget the borning  (boring)  things in work./ s&
写得很好
{% F5 L0 _, D  B+ R8 f. L
In addition, leaving time for different kinds of movies could stimulate out imagination. Some movies did  (are) not design to teach audience about real life, but to imagine a world that was not existed realistically like "The Matrix", "Avatar" and "Artificial Intelligence". These kinds of movies imagined a world that is not existed. People in the movies always have intelligent minds and surprising skills that people cannot have in the real world. Many people watch these kind of movies to stimulate their imagination, which could bring benefit to their work and study. For instance, the famous writer in China named Echo likes to watch these kind of movies to create imagination that is essential when she is writing fictions. Besides, those people who have job like design also need imagination, and watching movies is a good way to get them.
大多数行业都是需要想象力和创意的。

      However, although watching movies that could not teach us things about real life secures enormous advantages as we talked above, the negative aspect of it could not be left out. Some movies that contains（去掉S) violent and sexual scenes not only are not wothy(worth)    of watching, but also could bring unexpecting results to us. These kinds of  give would definitely bring bad influence to children and teenagers and should be absolutely forbidden among young people.8 N3
o( a8 m

现实生活中也是有阴暗面的。

+ E7 F5 K9 _& _
To sum it up, from what has been discussed above, we could safely come to the conclusion that the advantages of watching different types of movies outweigh any benefits  we can gain from only watching the movies that can teach us about real life.
结尾句子冗长。不够简明有说服力。

2009.9.11NA  agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life。 3 W% C1 M6 g% i* ]$ h5 MThere is a general discussion nowadays on movies that are available to the public. Some people argue that only those who can teach audience about real life are worth watching, but people who advocate different movie types, on the other hand, argue that we should watch different types of movies to broaden our knowledge and stimulate our passion for the real life. From my perspective, although there are some movies wasting our time when we are watching them, the advantages of watching different types of movies obviously outweigh the disadvantages. ! L/ l: W. h7 \. m1 |! l( s9 zTo begin with, spending time on the movies could help relieve stress and enjoy ourselves. Movies taught us a lot of things that we could not learn in classes. Some movies that are not connected with real life still benefit us a lot. We may point out an example of Disney carton, which influenced generations of children enormously. This kind of movie type were designed for children at first, but later on it developed to a movie type that was popular among adults. Although it can not tell us about rules about real life, it could help people relieve depression and reduce stress from work and study. Watching Mickey on the screen, we forget the confusing work and study that are full of pressure, resulting in the fact that we find happiness in out real life and forget the borning things in work. 0 C: _2 t. V# l$ E  y) JIn addition, leaving time for different kinds of movies could stimulate out imagination. Some movies did not design to teach audience about real life, but to imagine a world that was not existed realistically like "The Matrix", "Avatar" and "Artificial Intelligence". These kinds of movies imagined a world that is not existed. People in the movies always have intelligent minds and surprising skills that people cannot have in the real world. Many people watch these kind of movies to stimulate their imagination, which could bring benefit to their work and study. For instance, the famous writer in China named Echo likes to watch these kind of movies to create imagination that is essential when she is writing fictions. Besides, those people who have job like design also need imagination, and watching movies is a good way to get them. , j/ r/ v) W" s7 @9 R- HHowever, although watching movies that could not teach us things about real life secures enormous advantages as we talked above, the negative aspect of it could not be left out. Some movies that contains violent and sexual scenes not only are not wothy of watching, but also could bring unexpecting results to us. These kind of movies would definitely bring bad influence to children and teenagers and should be absolutely forbidden among young people. & L- `: z/ C! Z6 f9 BTo sum it up, from what has been discussed above, we could safely come to the conclusion that the advantages of watching different types of movies outweigh any benefit we can gain from only watching the movies that can teach us about real life.

2009.9.11NA  agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life。 3 W% C1 M6 g% i* ]$ h5 MThere is a general discussion nowadays on movies that are available to the public. Some people argue that only those who can teach audience about real life are worth watching, but people who advocate different movie types, on the other hand, argue that we should watch different types of movies to broaden our knowledge and stimulate our passion for the real life. From my perspective, although there are some movies wasting our time when we are watching them, the advantages of watching different types of movies obviously outweigh the disadvantages. ! L/ l: W. h7 \. m1 |! l( s9 zTo begin with, spending time on the movies could help relieve stress and enjoy ourselves. Movies taught us a lot of things that we could not learn in classes. Some movies that are not connected with real life still benefit us a lot. We may point out an example of Disney carton, which influenced generations of children enormously. This kind of movie type were designed for children at first, but later on it developed to a movie type that was popular among adults. Although it can not tell us about rules about real life, it could help people relieve depression and reduce stress from work and study. Watching Mickey on the screen, we forget the confusing work and study that are full of pressure, resulting in the fact that we find happiness in out real life and forget the borning things in work. 0 C: _2 t. V# l$ E  y) JIn addition, leaving time for different kinds of movies could stimulate out imagination. Some movies did not design to teach audience about real life, but to imagine a world that was not existed realistically like "The Matrix", "Avatar" and "Artificial Intelligence". These kinds of movies imagined a world that is not existed. People in the movies always have intelligent minds and surprising skills that people cannot have in the real world. Many people watch these kind of movies to stimulate their imagination, which could bring benefit to their work and study. For instance, the famous writer in China named Echo likes to watch these kind of movies to create imagination that is essential when she is writing fictions. Besides, those people who have job like design also need imagination, and watching movies is a good way to get them. , j/ r/ v) W" s7 @9 R- HHowever, although watching movies that could not teach us things about real life secures enormous advantages as we talked above, the negative aspect of it could not be left out. Some movies that contains violent and sexual scenes not only are not wothy of watching, but also could bring unexpecting results to us. These kind of movies would definitely bring bad influence to children and teenagers and should be absolutely forbidden among young people. & L- `: z/ C! Z6 f9 BTo sum it up, from what has been discussed above, we could safely come to the conclusion that the advantages of watching different types of movies outweigh any benefit we can gain from only watching the movies that can teach us about real life.

shufescUID: 2616499

个人意见，仅供参考~~