沐头雪的作文贴，狠狠拍！！！

ilovelssUID: 2809027

Do you agree or disagree with thefollowing statement? If you do not make sure other people (especiallyinfluential people or your employers) know about your strengths andaccomplishments, you will never get successful in life.

In nowadays, people are asked to beequipped by more certificate to demonstrate they are reliable and qualified toacquir a certain job, which certainly needy to ask the people such as youremployers to know your ability first. As a consequence, it is vital that makingsure other people know about your strengths and accomplishments firstm, or youwill have harder way in getting successful in life.

A direct and practical rule is everywherein the employee’s application, which is the proof that they have workexperience before, so that they are qualified to permit an entrance to the job.With that certificate, the boss will alocate task for them considering theirformal experience. And people who were successful in their earlier jobs willsurely be highly considerated by the administrator. And then can they have the opportunityto have a try on the important task, if successed, they will be promotedquickly. As a result, we can respect the former successful working experienceis equal to a ticket to the success gate, if you haven't got one. Or you willbe harder to demonstrate that you have the same ability, beacause you don’t geta ticket, let alone to near the entrance.

Secondly, in modern society, we areworking at a high effitiency to remain competitive so that not being laggedbehind. So many companies are busy in the work of itself, they probably don’thave enough time to really find their employees who is useful who is not. Thena convinient way to proof a worker’s ability springs up, which is the licenseto all kinds of field you may in, which is also the very reason the workers whoare already graduated from university still taking varies of examination everyyear. If people don't have to prove to othe people their ability, why they keepchasing certificates which can demonstrate their strength and working ability?

True as it is that real gold will beshinning everywhere, if the gold doesn’t have a criterian that it is a realgold, who can bravely believe that it is a real gold and then buy it? Alwaysbeing introvert will impress other people that he is not so confident inhimself, and barely has the braveness and determination to fufil the task, andit is of course that sort of people will not be burdened with vital jobs, andwhich derectly leads them always don’t have the opportunity to be success.

小飞瞎UID: 2865496

In nowadays, people are asked to be equipped by more certificate to demonstrate they are reliable and qualified to acquir a certain job, which certainly needy(贫穷的) to ask the people such as your employers to know your ability first. As a consequence, it is vital that making sure other people know about your strengths and accomplishments first, or you will have harder way in getting successful in life.
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A direct and practical rule is every where in the employee’s application, which（指代什么？） is the proof that they have work experience before, so that they are qualified to permit an entrance to the job. With that certificate, the boss will alocate task for them considering their formal experience. And people who were successful in their earlier jobs will surely be highly considerated by the administrator. And then can they have the opportunity to have a try on the important task, if successed, they will be promoted quickly. As a result, we can respect the former successful working experienceis equal to a ticket to the success gate, if you haven't got one. Or you will be harder to demonstrate that you have the same ability, beacause you don’t get a ticket, let alone to near the entrance.
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. U, g! W7 w' ]3 \0 n2 M0 K9 t, Y7 fSecondly,
in modern society, we are
working at a high effitiency to remain competitive so that not being lagged behind（学习个新短语）. So many companies are busy in the work of itself, they probably don’t have enough time to really find their employees who is useful who is not（可以这么表达么？最起码要加or吧？）. Then a convinient way to proof（n prove）
a worker’s ability springs up, which is the license to all kinds of field you may in, which is also the very reason the workers who are already graduated from university still taking varies of examination every year. If people don't have to prove to other people their ability, why they keep chasing certificates which can demonstrate their strength and working ability?
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  Z- `# r/ B( vTrue as it is that real gold will be shinning everywhere, if the gold doesn’t have a criterian that it is a real gold, who can bravely believe that it is a real gold and then buy it? Always being introvert will impress other people that he is not so confident in himself, and barely has the braveness and determination to fufil the task, and it is of
course that sort of people will not be burdened with vital jobs, and which derectly leads them always don’t have the opportunity to be success.
作者的思路非常的好。这是我的弱项，不知道写什么，可以跟你学习下，但有一点就是缺少很多例子，信服力差了点！还有些拼写的很多错误，你可以写完放在word上检查下！还有一些句式，也许是我能力不强，总觉得不对….要是有不对的你要跟我说啊！

ilovelssUID: 2809027

是否同意parents help determined the future of their children or children allow to make their own choices.

When graduated from school, everyone will face the situation to choose what kind of career to engage in. Most young people will face the dilemma of whether taking the advice of their parents or being honest to their own mind. However, treasurous as it is that the suggestion parents provide, making choices on their own is more profoundly meaningful for young people’s future.

The most important paradox between parents and their children is their different perspective on varies of things. For example, parents may propose that being a white-collar worker, children will earn enough money to cover their daily expenses which is more secure and less adventurous compared to other kind of jobs. What’s more, being a white- collar is so respectful because of it stands for workers who earn money by their intelligence. On the contrast, young people may consider that being a white-collar is both boring and can't promiss them a luxious life due to the amount of money they can observe. They are more willing to take a risk in doing some risky jobs or bussinesses, such as buying stalkshare or openning a company, because the young people are confident in themselves and possitively chasing the things they want. If they followed their parents advice, thy would lose a chance to fufil their dreams.

What’s more, making decisions on their own will also practise the young adults’ ability to be independent. We all know that every person should learn how to live all by their own without parents’ care, which is a universal rule not only in human beings but also in every living creature on the planet. If the youngs are always depending on their parents, waiting their parents to give  solutions to the problems, they will never make progress and grow up in the pschology area of meaning. What if parents leave them abraptly in someday? What if their parents are too old to take care them any more? What if youngs are facing a problem which is beyond their parents’ ability? The answer is that young people will certainly learn how to live independently from their parents in a certain day. As a conclusion, compared to wait passively to face the music, young children should learn how to make decisions on their own from minimal things to practise their independent capacity.

Definitly, we cannot deny the truth that parents’ experience will be a guidance in chosing our ways, parents’ success or failures are excellent references, we can learn how to behave in a certain situation as parents have confronted before. However, we all know that things get differently every now and then, everything is changeable all the time instead of always remaining the same, so the parents’ experience will seem a little out-dated more or less, which compells the young people to seek their own ways to success due to the identical circumstances. As a result, young adults should make their own decision indepently from their parents.



狠拍狠批！！谢谢谢谢！

rysfUID: 2514937

When graduated from school, everyone will face the situation to choose what kind of career to engage in. Most young people will face the dilemma of whether taking the advice of their parents or being honest to their own mind. However, treasurous 这是什么单词？说实话没看懂 as it is that the suggestion parents provide, making choices on their own is more profoundly meaningful for young people’s future.

The most important paradox between parents and their children is their different perspective on varies of things. For example, parents may propose that being a white-collar worker, children will earn enough money to cover their daily expenses which is more secure and less adventurous compared to other kind of jobs. What’s more, being a white- collar is so respectful because of it stands for workers who earn money by their intelligence. On the contrast, young people may consider that being a white-collar is both boring and can't promiss possess them a luxious luxurious life due to the amount of money they can observe. They are more willing to take a risk in doing some risky jobs or bussinesses businesses, such as buying stalkshare? or openning opening a company, because the young people are confident in themselves and possitively positively chasing the things they want. If they followed their parents advice, thy would lose a chance to fufil fulfill their dreams

What’s more, making decisions on their own will also practise the young adults’ ability to be independent. We all know that every person should learn how to live all by their own without parents’ care, which is a universal rule not only in human beings but also in every living creature on the planet. If the youngs  youth are always depending on their parents, waiting their parents to give  solutions to the problems, they will never make progress and grow up in the pschology   psychology area of meaning. What if parents leave them abraptly in someday? What if their parents are too old to take care take care of them any more? What if youngs 同上 are facing a problem which is beyond their parents’ ability? The answer is that young people will certainly learn how to live independently from their parents in a certain day one  day. As a conclusion, compared to wait passively to face the music ？, young children should learn how to make decisions on their own from minimal things to practise their independent capacity.

Definitly Definitely, we cannot deny the truth that parents’ experience will be a guidance in chosing our ways, parents’ success or failures are excellent references, we can learn how to behave in a certain situation as parents have confronted before. However, we all know that things get differently every now and then, everything is changeable all the time instead of always remaining the same, so the parents’ experience will seem a little out-dated more or less, which compells  compels the young people to seek their own ways to success due to the identical circumstances. As a result, young adults should make their own decision indepently ndependently  from their parents.
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总结：你用词挺高级，我就总用简单词哈
我觉得你可以把最后的总结拿出来作为一段，这样条例更清楚。
你可以用word总结查下错字。

miaodiUID: 2613113

When graduated from school, everyone will face the situation to choose what kind of career to engage in. Most young people will face the dilemma of whether taking the advice of their parents or being honest to their own mind(minds). However, treasurous(?) as it is that the suggestion parents provide, making choices on their own is more profoundly meaningful for young people’s future.  w  W+ c( e0 y

The most important paradox between parents and their children is their different perspective on varies of(various) things. For example, parents may propose that being a white-collar worker, children will earn enough money to cover their daily expenses which(this kind of job (which 指代daily expenses)) is more secure and less adventurous compared to other kind of jobs. What’s more, being a white- collar is so respectful because of it stands for workers who earn money by their intelligence. On the contrast（to the contrary）, young people may consider that being a white-collar is both(both删掉) boring and can't promiss（promise） them a luxious（luxury） life due to the amount of money they can observe. They are more willing to take a risk in doing some risky jobs or bussinesses, such as buying stalkshare or openning（managing） a company, because the young people are confident in themselves（self-confident） and positively chasing the things they want. If they followed their parents advice, thy would lose a chance to fufil their dreams.
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What’s more, making decisions on their own will also practise the young adults’ ability to be independent. We all know that every person should learn how to live all by their own without parents’ care, which is a universal rule not only in human beings but also in every living creature on the planet. If the youngs are always depending on their parents, waiting their parents to give  solutions to the problems, they will never make progress and grow up in the pschology area of meaning. What if parents leave them abraptly in someday? What if their parents are too old to take care them any more? What if youngs are facing a problem which is beyond their parents’ ability? The answer is that young people will certainly learn how to live independently from their parents in a certain day. As a conclusion, compared to wait passively to face the music, young children should learn how to make decisions on their own from minimal things to practise their independent capacity.(这句没读懂。。。。。)% L  m3 X% S9 g$ n

Definitly, we cannot deny the truth that parents’ experience will be a guidance in chosing our ways, parents’ success or failures are excellent references, we can learn how to behave in a certain situation as parents have confronted before. However, we all know that things get differently every now and then, everything is changeable all the time instead of always remaining the same, so the parents’ experience will seem a little out-dated more or less, which compells the young people to seek their own ways to success due to the identical circumstances. As a result, young adults should make their own decision indepently from their parents（from their parents删掉或者  other than follow their parents commands）.

思路很清晰 看不出什么缺点 感觉 那段排比句是亮点。

miaodiUID: 2613113

童鞋去帮我改改吧，我写错日子了。。。