12.17 独立作文

liuyuan1990UID: 2894778

Apparantly,the car and the airplane both have a enormouse  influence on our society,especially in the transportation industry.Recently, there comes out a debate ,which is about which of the two has a greater influence on our society.Some individuals argue that cars have a greater influence .They  point that the majority of families get their own cars  in contemporary  society,and a car revolution really took place in the last thirty  years.Others ,on the contrary ,believe that  the airplane has a greater influence, when  compared to the car.They deem that it really sovle the problem in the far distance transportation and it make the tranportation without building roads come true. From my pespective, I am in favor of the latter.
     As we all acknowledged,the airplane was invented later than the car. It does supply a more comfortable and more convenient way for modern individuals to arrive a relatively distant destination.Though cars can take people to the majority of the places on  land  due to the an increasingly number of highways and roads which had been built these years,people are inclined to choose to take an airplane when they need to go a place far away.Most of them complain that if they drive a car ,they are tired  to do nothing after arriving the destination.Thus,the airplane really change the situation with giving modern people an enjoyable flight and a higher level life quality .
    Additionally,the airplane enhance the efficiency in the good  tranportation.With the improvement in worldwild business, there indeed need a more frequent and convenient way of transportation.After using  the airplane in the good transpotation.It promotes economic globalization and communication among diverse nations amazingly ,which really  helps the majority of the naitons in the world go through a economic boom. To draw a conclution,the air plane does help the countries and play  a critic role in the modern society.
    At the same time,the airplane is used in the military area widely.It is more valueble ,when connected with kinds of mordern technology.We believe that the airplane will have a more greater influence in the military area in future.Admittedly,cars had played a key role in the military area ,however it can hardly be linked with the advanced technology.So,I concern that the airplane really has a greater influence on our mordern society  in this area.
    Taking the statement above into consideration,I strongly surpport that the airplane has a greater influence on the society .Meanwhile,I believe the airplane will be more excellent and can be used increasingly widely.Then the airplane will have a more essential influence on our society.

向前一步走UID: 2956904

楼主自己给自己打多少分？

liuyuan1990UID: 2894778

2# 向前一步走 我不知道，因为我才开始写不久，我知道我写的不好。。。

fengyanhongUID: 2941762

Apparantly,the car and the airplane both have a （enormous）拼写  influence on our society,especially in the transportation industry.Recently, there comes out a debate ,which is about（连着用which，建议前面的改成that） which of the two has a greater influence on our society.Some individuals argue that cars have a greater influence .They  point that the majority of families get their own cars  in contemporary  society,and a car revolution really took place in the last thirty  years.Others ,on the contrary ,believe that  the airplane has a greater influence, when  compared to the car.They deem that it really solve（拼写） the problem in the far distance transportation and it make the tranportation without building roads come true. From my perspective（拼写）, I am in favor of the latter.. m/ Q0 u( A2 e2 g9 V  J+ M' t7 H
     As we all acknowledged, the airplane was invented later than the car. It does supply（provide吧 supply主要是提供物品） a more comfortable and more convenient way for modern individuals to arrive（at 不及物动词） a relatively distant destination.Though cars can take people to the majority of the places on  land  due to the an increasingly（increasing 修饰后面名词number用形容词） number of highways and roads which had been built these years,people are inclined （to choose 删掉不定式+不定式）to take an airplane when they need to go a place far away.Most of them complain that if they drive a car ,they are tired  to do nothing after arriving the destination.Thus,the airplane really change the situation with（by） giving modern people an enjoyable flight and a higher level （查了一下google 这里加个of吧） life quality .: V' V, }# J9 w7 `7 W8 b4 ~8 ]
    Additionally,the airplane enhance the efficiency in the good  tranportation.With the improvement（business的话用bloom thrive flourish prosper这几个动词更合适） in worldwide（拼写） business, there indeed need a more frequent and convenient way of transportation.After using  the airplane in the good transpotation.It promotes economic globalization and communication among diverse nations amazingly ,which really  helps the majority of the naitons in the world go through a economic boom. To draw a conclusion（我也喜欢把s拼成t）, the air plane does help the countries and play  a critic role in the modern society.
' n. n% M' N3 f7 f5 V$ A. V9 Y    At the same time,the airplane is used in the military area widely.It is more valuable ,when connected with kinds of mordern technology.We believe that the airplane will have a more greater influence in（on） the military area in future.Admittedly,cars had played a key role in the military area ,however it can hardly be linked with the advanced technology.So,I concern that the airplane really has a greater influence on our modern（拼写） society  in this area.
9 J' M5 y+ R7 Q    Taking the statement above into consideration, I strongly support that the airplane has a greater influence on the society .Meanwhile, I believe the airplane will be more excellent and can be used increasingly widely. Then the airplane will have a more essential influence on our society.
我也有不少的拼写问题，每次写完一篇总结几个经常出错的词还有有点效果的，不知道30分钟里大家最后都留多少时间做检查啊？
感觉第二段主题不是很清楚，是在说plane更comfortable和convenient么？但支撑部分只说了plane适合远距离。可以举例说plane更舒服：有吃的，能看电影，能打游戏，座椅调节。。。
第三段第四段都把主题句放在开头，很喜欢，很规范哦~~
还有OG说开头结尾不用写很多，表明态度就好。
一起加油~~

liuyuan1990UID: 2894778

4# fengyanhong 多谢批改~还有，因我是刚开始写作文，所有并没有在30分钟内就完成作文，就是按照自己的思路和时间来写，写完为止，不过我会慢慢提速的。再次感谢你~~~

mileschen2008UID: 2771287

修改好了，见附件。还多谢你给我的修改建议，挺好的。

liuyuan1990UID: 2894778

6# mileschen2008
多谢批改，我的拼写真的错误很多，以后会注意的，O(∩_∩)O谢谢~一起加油哦~