argument147

htpengUID: 2115584

------题目------
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.'
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In this argument, the arguer asserts that the declining sales trend of Whirlwind video games will be reversed. This conclusion bases on a survey suggesting players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics. The introducing of several new games and their advertising campaign of Whirlwind is also illustrated by the arguer. Though the arguer's view seems plausible, there are several intermediate steps one should take before jumping to the conclusion.

First and foremost, the arguer points out that the sales of the past two years declined but fails to give any reason of it. It is entirely possible that Whirlwind video games take same actions as it does in this year. Perhaps they insisted on the importance of providing lifelike graphics over the past two years but declined in sales. In this case, the arguer's view is untenable.

Moreover, the survey illustrated by the arguer can't support his view effectively. Though most players prefer games providing the lifelike graphics, the requirements of the computer should not be overlooked. A possibility is that players who have the most up-to-date computers is few. So if Whirlwind company put too much on the importance of lifelike graphics, it may lost a large amount of customers who don't have such up-to-date computers.

Additionally, whether the illustrated survey is objective and scientific is still in doubt. The arguer fails to give any information about how these players are selected or the specific number of them. It is quite possible that these players are selected because their answers accord with the assumption or perhaps they are induced to say what the arguer wants. Furthermore, without a specific number of these players, the conclusion that they can represent the real views of the majority is unconvincing.

Last but not least, the arguer mentions Whirlwind introduced several games which can provide lifelike graphics. However, whether these games are popular or the advertising is effective is doubtful. Though these games' graphics is good, other factors of them may be weakened. And also the adverting is likely to be ineffective for the reason that whether the games are popular in people at 10 to 25 years old is not mentioned. It is quite possible that the games are designed for adults and they contain some violent or sexual content. In this case, the advertisement is probably a failure.

In the final analysis, the arguer's view that sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase in the next few months is not well-reasoned. As the text above analyzed, at least four fallacies existed in the arguer's statement.

d_messiahUID: 177468

In this argument, the arguer asserts that the declining sales trend of Whirlwind video games will be reversed. This conclusion bases on a survey suggesting players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics. The introducing of several new games and their advertising campaign of Whirlwind is also illustrated by the arguer. Though the arguer's view seems plausible, there are several intermediate steps one should take before jumping to the conclusion.

First and foremost, the arguer points out that the sales of the past two years declined but fails to give any reason of   for it. It is entirely possible that Whirlwind video games taketook the same actions as it does in this year. Perhaps they insisted on the importance of providing lifelike graphics over the past two years but declined in sales. In this case, the arguer's view is untenable.

Moreover, the survey illustrated by the arguer can't support his view effectively. Though most players prefer games providing the lifelike graphics, the requirements of the computer should not be overlooked. A possibility is that players who have the most up-to-date computers is few. So if Whirlwind company put too much on the importance of lifelike graphics, it may lost a large amount of customers who don't have such up-to-date computers.

Additionally, whether the illustrated survey is objective and scientific is still in doubt. The arguer fails to give any information about how these players are selected or the specific number of them. It is quite possible that these players are selected because their answers accord with the assumption or perhaps they are induced to say what the arguer wants. Furthermore, without a specific number of these players, the conclusion that they can represent the real views of the majority is unconvincing.

Last but not least, the arguer mentions Whirlwind introduced several games which can provide lifelike graphics. However, whether these games are popular or the advertising is effective is doubtful. Though these games' graphics is good, other factors of them may be weakened是被减弱的吗. And also the adverting is likely to be ineffective for the reason that whether the games are popular in people at 10 to 25 years old is not mentioned. It is quite possible that the games are designed for adults and they contain some violent or sexual content. In this case, the advertisement is probably a failure.

In the final analysis, the arguer's view that sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase in the next few months is not well-reasoned. As the text above analyzed, at least four fallacies existed in the arguer's statement.

LeonS.KennedyUID: 194492

The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.'




In this argument, the arguer asserts that the declining sales trend of Whirlwind video games will be reversed. This conclusion bases on a survey suggesting 这里的suggesting不合适，意思上也不准确players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics. The introducing应该是introduction of several new games and their advertising campaign of Whirlwind前面已经有their了，再出现公司名就重复了 is also illustrated by the arguer. Though the arguer's view seems plausibleview用词不准确，plausible前面应该有to be, there are several intermediate steps one should take before jumping to the conclusion.one应该是which，take改为be taken，这句话感觉不是很好，表达方式有待于改进

First and foremost, the arguer points out that the sales of the past two years declined but fails to give any reason of itreasons. It is entirely possible that Whirlwind video games take same actions as it does in this year. Perhaps they insisted on the importance of providing lifelike graphics over the past two years but declined in sales. In this case, the arguer's view is untenable.语言可以再简练一些，而且根据你的“可能一直在重视这种高清晰画质游戏的开发，但是销售不良”这个观点，文章可以再展开一些，这段少了点儿。


Moreover, the survey illustrated这个词不好，换一个 by the arguer can't support his view effectively. Though most players prefer games providing the lifelike graphics, the requirements of the computer should not be overlooked. A possibility is that players who have the most up-to-date computers is few. So if Whirlwind company put 改为puts too much on the importance of lifelike graphics, it may lost a large amount of customers who don't have such up-to-date computers.要点都到为位了，可是多处用词不当，虽然你用的词的词义里面有你想要表达的那个意思，但是准确性不高啊。


Additionally, whether the illustrated 这个词可以不要survey is objective and scientific is still in doubt. The arguer fails to give any information about how these players are selected or 应该是and the specific number of them. It is quite possible that these players are selected because their answers accord with the assumption or perhaps 意思重复了they are induced to say what the arguer wants. Furthermore, without a specific number of these players, 这点前面你已经提到，再说一遍，就啰索了，而且有凑字之嫌 ;P the conclusion that they can represent the real views of the majority is unconvincing.

Last but not least, the arguer mentions Whirlwind introduced several games which can provide lifelike graphics. However, whether these games are popular or the advertising is effective is doubtful. Though these games' graphics is good, other factors of them may be weakened. And also the adverting is likely to be ineffective for the reason that whether the games are popular in people at 10 to 25 years old is not mentioned.这句太繁琐，语言上也有问题 It is quite possible that the games are designed for adults and they contain some violent or是and sexual content. In this case, the advertisement is probably a failure.

In the final analysis, the arguer's view that sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase in the next few months is not well-reasoned. As the text above analyzed, at least four fallacies existed in the arguer's statement.这不是final analysis而是整个题目的conclusion，你把这个也当作作者的证据或者假设给驳了，此时，你应该结尾了。而且要注意时态，基本和题目一致。


看得不够仔细，哪里改的不得体，还请多多原谅:)

clearbabyUID: 2114410

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我的147