argument76 第一次写argu. 请大家指教！谢谢！帮我看一下走的第一步吧

gaoll82UID: 2110778

29 min---489 words
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76The following appeared as part of an article in a health and beauty magazine.

"A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin."
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According to the argument, the arguer concludes that the Luxess can effectively improve the condition of facial skin after the experiment. It seems that the arguer has strong support from the experiment, but careful scrutiny reveals some fallacies of his statement.

The first thing should be noticed is that we are told a group of volunteers participated in the experiment. But the exact number is unknown. If the size of the sample is too small, we cannot exclude the chance of coincidence of the use of the new Luxess face cream and the improvement of the condition of the volunteers' facial skin. For example, if 5 people were volunteered in the experiment, and 3 out of 5 reported the improvement of their facial skin condition, the experiment is not too convincing. And the arguer used the vague word like "most". We cannot get any information from the vague words. 51% is "most", and 99% is "most" too, but the difference is huge. So, unless we are told about the basic number and the exact proportion of the sated people to the number of the whole group, the experiment is not cogent enough.

The experiment procedure is that during a month, the volunteers washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess every morning. Common sense tells us that the condition of one's facial skin depends on many factors. If one tends to stay up all night and take very little sleep everyday, his facial condition may decrease. There is no evidence that the partipants lead their daily-life as usual. Maybe they gathered together and took very regular routine everyday, thus their facial condition will improve even they did not use the Luxess. Besides, one month is not long enough to observe the difference of the skin. A recent authority study tells us the effect of whitening face require at least 60 days. There may be some side effect of the Luxess, and one month cannot reveal the defect.

There are many brands of facial products, and they may have different effects. If the supposed effect of the Luxess cream is to whiten the face, but the result is that the reported improvement is smooth, it may not be the effect of the Luxess, or maybe the mild soap worked for most of the volunteers.

To sum up, the arguer fails to convince us that the Luxess cream can improve the condition of facial skin. The arguer sure gives us an example, but neither the procedure nor the result of the example lends strong support to the argument. To make the argument sound and cogent, the arguer need to take a more specific experiment with reliable result. To enhance the credibility of the argument, the arguer should better give us a scientific explain about why the Luxess can improve the condition of facial skin, or what ingredients the Luxess cream has make it useful in improving the facial skin.

[ Last edited by gaoll82 on 2005-7-25 at 14:05 ]

gaoll82UID: 2110778

为什么没有人帮我呢？是因为写得太差了？提些意见好了。
我作文刚起步，真是不懂，需要大家的帮忙啊！