argument76 留链接互拍

星星之火UID：2107154

Argument76  
------题目------
The following appeared as part of an article in a health and beauty magazine.
'A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin.'
------正文------
In this argument the author concludes that Luxess, a kind of face cream, can greatly improve the condition of facial skin. To substantiate his conclusion, the author cites a survey among a group of volunteers, who were required to use this kind of face cream every morning for a month, indicating that their skin has been effectively improved as a result of the face cream. However I find this argument logically unconvincing in several respects.

First of all,  the survey must be shown to be reliable before I can accept any conclusion based upon it. Yet the author fails to provide any evidence to convince me. To begin with, we are not informed either how many people  participated this survey, or are the samples sufficient in number to ensure that they would be representative of the overall population. Moreover, according to the article, the survey just lasted a month, but common sense tells me that a much longer period  is needed to observe any influence on skin by face  cream.

Secondly, the author's conclusion depends on the assumption that no other factors other than the face cream caused a better look and feel about the skin. This might be the case, however, it is equally possible that the main reason for the improvement of the skin is the mild soap which they also used in the survey. It is also possible that during that period people who taked part in the survey were more concerned with their food, which might improve the condition of their skin because of their additional emphasis on the survey. So whithout accounting for these and other possibilities, the author cannot convince me of  his conclusion that the face cream is really good for facial skin.

Thirdly, the author concludes too hastily that the face cream will apply to everybody out of question. Perhaps in the survey, the author calculated to conceal a result that some peole were allergic to this kind of face cream, or perhaps the negative effect would emerge some time later. Furthormore, even if the face cream is truely beceficial for facial skin, it is also possible that there might be some other side-effects which are harmful for our health. Since the author fails to pull out these possible negative effects, his conclusion is quite likely to mislead the public.

In sum, this argument is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen it, the author would have to provide evidence that there is not any negative effect when using this face cream. . Additionally, it is also useful to know more details about how the survey was carrid out.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-26 at 00:44 ]

qinwang96UID：2109858

谢谢你帮我修改了文章，对我很有启发。

In this argument the author concludes that Luxess, a kind of face cream, can greatly improve the condition of facial skin. To substantiate his conclusion, the author cites a survey among a group of volunteers, who were required to use this kind of face cream every morning for a month, indicating that their skin has been effectively improved as a result of the face cream. However I find this argument logically unconvincing in several respects.

First of all,  the survey must be shown to be reliable（感觉有点绕口，直接点must be reliable） before I can accept any conclusion based upon it. Yet the author fails to provide any evidence to convince me. To begin with, we are not informed either how many people participated this survey, or are the samples sufficient（whether the samplers are sufficient） in number to ensure that they would be representative of the overall population. Moreover, according to the article, the survey just lasted a month, but common sense tells me that a much longer period is needed to observe any influence on skin by face  cream (any influence of face cream on skin).

Secondly, the author's conclusion depends on the assumption that no other factors other than the face cream caused a better look and feel about the skin. This might be the case, however, it is equally possible that the main reason for the improvement of the skin is the mild soap which they also used in the survey. It is also possible that during that period people who taked (took) part in the survey were more concerned with their food, which might improve the condition of their skin because of their additional emphasis on the survey (不太明白additional emphasis). So whithout (without) accounting for these and other possibilities, the author cannot convince me of  his conclusion that the face cream is really good for facial skin.

Thirdly, the author concludes too hastily that the face cream will apply to everybody out of question (certainly或undoubtedly似乎更好). Perhaps in the survey, the author calculated to conceal a result that some peole were allergic to this kind of face cream, or perhaps the negative effect(s) would emerge (emerge是及物动词，应改为occur) some time (some time 可以去掉) later. Furthormore （Furthermore）, even if the face cream is truely beceficial (truly beneficial) for facial skin, it is also possible that there might be some other side-effects which are harmful for our health. Since the author fails to pull out these possible negative effects, his (or her) conclusion is quite likely to mislead the public.

In sum, this argument is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen it, the author would (should) have to provide evidence that there is not any negative effect(s) when using this face cream. . Additionally, it is also useful to know more details about how the survey was carrid (carried) out.

文章结构清晰，内容也比较完整
就是有些语句有点绕口，还需斟酌一下。
拼写错误略多了一些。
我也是新手，不当之处请见谅。

星星之火UID：2107154

多谢，怎么自己检查的时候没发现这么多拼写错误啊，真是辛苦你了！