Issue207 鼓起勇气自己改了一遍贴上来，有来必回

fircattyUID：166248

207 Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.

1各国的特色文化区分了各国
2随着时代的发展，本土文化受到很多威胁
3然而，还有别的途径帮助我们定义自我

I basically agree that rituals and ceremonies, important parts of a culture, play a significant role to help people aquire the sense of who they are. Though in modern society, rituals and ceremonies are indispensibly merged or abolished, other approaches such as education also have the same function.

Undoubtedly, various rituals and ceremonies are vital symbols differentiating different countries in that they are usually inherited from one generation to another, and fuse with the culture of the nation. All of these are helpful for people to know themselves. For instance, Mid-autumn Day is a traditional festival in China. It is said the moon at that night is the roundest one during the year, and people in a family should reunite and eat moon cake together. The ritual has been handed down for hundreds of years. And now, when Mid-autumn Day comes, Chinese, at home and abroad, will extremly miss their family. Thereby people have a intensified self sense.

However, due to the development of the society, indigenous rituals and ceremonies are in the threat of being gradually overlooked. First, the increased opportunities of communication among countries all over the word contribute to the mixture of cultures. People are more inclined to be assimilated into other cultures than ever before. Take the Chinese wedding as a example, it is popular to go to the church to celebrate the wedding party nowadays, as the westerners do. Second, some rituals, though traditional, disgreeing with the modern perspective, should be abolished. For example, firing firecrackers is a conventional ceremony for Chinese to celebrate the Spring Festival. Nevertheless, in view of the exhaust caused by firecrackers, which is proved to seriously pollute the air and would do harm to people’s health, the ritual has been strictly banned in cities now. There is no doubt that the similar actions would weaken the the content of culture and then affect, to some extent, people’s sense of themselves.

Fortunately, aside from rituals and ceremonies, people still have other approaches to help establish the self consciousness. Education is one of the most effective methods. By conveying the kownledge of language and history, it aids the youth to build an impressive image of local culture and to prevent them from being lost in the globalization. Most students know that people used to hold a dragon boat contest on Dragon Boat Festival the lessons though they rarely see the exact scene. Hence the tradition can be remembered and arouses the public’s self senses.

Although rituals and ceremonies do help to define a culture and, to some extent, serve to remind people of who they are, they are not the only way. Other methods such as education can also have the same function as rituals and ceremonies.

chris_zhUID：2101887

I basically agree that rituals and ceremonies, important parts of a culture, play a significant role to help people aquire the sense of who they are. Though in modern society, rituals and ceremonies are indispensibly[是想说不可避免吧，这个词不是这麽用的，换unavoidable] merged or abolished, other approaches such as education also have the same function.

Undoubtedly, various rituals and ceremonies are vital symbols differentiating different countries in that they are usually inherited from one generation to another, and fuse with the culture of the nation. All of these are helpful for people to know themselves. For instance, Mid-autumn Day is a traditional festival in China. It is said the moon at that night is the roundest one during the year, and people in a family should reunite and eat moon cake together. The ritual has been handed down for hundreds of years. And now, when Mid-autumn Day comes, Chinese, at home and abroad, will extremly miss their family. Thereby people have a intensified self sense.

However, due to the development of the society, indigenous rituals and ceremonies are in the threat of being gradually overlooked. First, the increased opportunities of communication among countries all over the word contribute to the mixture of cultures. People are more inclined [更容易被融合而不是更愿意吧，easily比较好]to be assimilated into other cultures than ever before. Take the Chinese wedding as a example, it is popular to go to the church to celebrate the wedding party nowadays, as the westerners do. Second, some rituals, though traditional, disgreeing with the modern perspective, should [下文的例子中，已经被abolish了，不是建议，should不合适]be abolished. For example, firing firecrackers is a conventional ceremony for Chinese to celebrate the Spring Festival. Nevertheless, in view of the exhaust caused by firecrackers, which is proved to seriously pollute the air and would do harm to people’s health, the ritual has been strictly banned in cities now. There is no doubt that the similar actions would weaken the the content of culture and then affect, to some extent, people’s sense of themselves.

Fortunately, aside from rituals and ceremonies, people still have other approaches to help establish the self consciousness. Education is one of the most effective methods. By conveying the kownledge of language and history, it aids the youth to build an impressive image of local culture and to prevent them from being lost in the globalization. Most students know that people used to hold a dragon boat contest on Dragon Boat Festival [from]the lessons[textbokks] though they rarely see the exact[actual] scene. Hence the tradition can be remembered and arouses the public’s self senses.[这是总结句？]

Although rituals and ceremonies do help to define a culture and, to some extent, serve to remind people of who they are, they are not the only way. Other methods such as education can also have the same function as rituals and ceremonies.
[总的来说文笔还是很流畅的，观点也比较清晰，只是个别词的用法还不够准确]

seraph_hydeUID：184809

I basically agree that rituals and ceremonies, important parts of a culture, play a significant role to help people aquire the sense of who they are. Though in modern society, rituals and ceremonies are indispensibly merged or abolished, other approaches such as education also have the same function.

Undoubtedly, various rituals and ceremonies are vital symbols differentiating different countries in that they are usually inherited from one generation to another, and fuse with the culture of the nation. All of these are helpful for people to know themselves. For instance, Mid-autumn Day is a traditional festival in China. It is said the moon at that night is the roundest one during the year, and people in a family should reunite and eat moon cake together. The ritual has been handed down for hundreds of years. And now, when Mid-autumn Day comes, Chinese, at home and abroad, will extremly miss their family. Thereby people have a intensified self sense.（这个例子中没有提到各国啊，不是很能支撑区分这个词）

However, due to the development of the society, indigenous rituals and ceremonies are in the threat of being gradually overlooked. First, the increased opportunities of communication among countries all over the word contribute to the mixture of cultures. People are more inclined to be assimilated into other cultures than ever before. Take the Chinese wedding as a example, it is popular to go to the church to celebrate the wedding party nowadays, as the westerners do.（还是提一下原来视什么样得吧，后来为什么去教堂了呢？因为媒体带来大量得外国文化，不加选择盲目吸收得结果） Second, some rituals, though traditional, disgreeing with the modern perspective, should be abolished. For example, firing firecrackers is a conventional ceremony for Chinese to celebrate the Spring Festival. Nevertheless, in view of the exhaust caused by firecrackers, which is proved to seriously pollute the air and would do harm to people’s health, the ritual has been strictly banned in cities now. There is no doubt that the similar actions would weaken the the content of culture and then affect, to some extent, people’s sense of themselves.（excellent example!!）
Fortunately, aside from rituals and ceremonies, people still have other approaches to help establish the self consciousness. Education is one of the most effective methods. By conveying the kownledge of language and history, it aids the youth to build an impressive image of local culture and to prevent them from being lost in the globalization. Most students know that people used to hold a dragon boat contest on Dragon Boat Festival the lessons though they rarely see the exact scene. Hence the tradition can be remembered and arouses the public’s self senses.（我觉得这里既然再说其他方式，就尽量不要再提节日仪式什么得，说点别的比如历史，语言什么得）

Although rituals and ceremonies do help to define a culture and, to some extent, serve to remind people of who they are, they are not the only way. Other methods such as education can also have the same function as rituals and ceremonies.

写的挺不错得，用词不错，结构也很清晰，例子举得也很恰当，我觉得你准备得比较充分了

fircattyUID：166248

谢谢seraph_hyde
受到表扬很开心阿:)
还是希望批评多一些
你明天就要考了，好好加油哦