issue83 自己改了一下，欢迎拍砖！字数和速度仍不能兼顾，faint~

lignumvitaeUID: 207532

------题目------
Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people.
------正文------
With the development of the global economy and society, wilderness areas in the natural state confront to even more and more serious problems than ever before, mainly in ecology aspect influenced by both natural and artificial factors. As the manager of a nation, government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in order to contribute to the further improvement of the whole country whatsoever.

First of all, many macroscopical factors result in the problems in wilderness areas. And only the government could have the capability to solve them, since these problems are serious and broad to some extent. One of them is ecologic unbalance, which includes that lots of plants and animals in a ecologic chains go to die out and these areas are going to be deserted. If the deserted area, which is infertile and sterile, would broaden at an accelerated speed, the human being would probably extinct, and the earth might be destroyed in the future. Nowadays many animals prevailing millions of years ago could not be seen any more, and hundreds of thousands of all kinds of animals are going to extinct everyday. They may be an important role in the ecologic chains in which human being is also one of the members. So their disappearance may possibly bring out a series of effect to the whole ecology system. Studying the cause, a great deal of human modernization activities, such as over-exploiting raw materials, polluting the environment, ignoring the remediation programs and so forth, refer to a national region and could be regulated by the macroscopical forces from the government. It is the government that could prevent and remedy these problems by regulating approaches.

Secondly, although usually these public owned wilderness areas are remote and not accessible to many people, the problems caused by people are not reduced but increased, since some people could serious influence these places by using many more developed tools and machines than those before. One case in point is the destruction of tropic rain forest. Hundreds of years ago, woodchoppers used the axes and choppers to cut the woods and lift the woods with hand, which was very laborsome and ineffective. By using the advanced tools and equipment, including electric saws, trucks, and many other machines contributing to disafforestation. People just learn to control several buttons, and large areas of forests would fall down under the handlers' manipulation. It is more effective because one person could finish dozens of the workload of the former workers did. That is to say the current single person is more powerful to influence the environment, though only a few people could be accessible to the wilderness areas. So the speed of remediation could not catch up with the speed of destruction. It is the time for government to regulate these activities to help the wild areas remain natural state.

Thirdly, admittedly, the wilderness areas should developed with the natural situation, and human being should not intervene in it. However, viewing the global destroy situation of wilderness areas and the more and more ecologic problems, which would threaten the progress of human society even our survival, the government should execute some programs and use the legal methods to regulate and preserve these regions in the natural state. In another word, the individuals could not have enough force to solve the national problems, since they may not have sufficient funds and energy, while government is the manager of the country and serve for the people in the country.

In conclusion, government as the institution of serving for various national affairs, is obliged to preserve the wildness areas in the natural state, which is meaningful to the development of the whole country and the people's lives. Although some wild areas are remote, we could not ignore them and their potential environmental problems.

改了一下，继续努力！

[ Last edited by lignumvitae on 2005-7-30 at 23:13 ]

lignumvitaeUID: 207532

谢谢你拍我，你的意见很中肯，我会好好改的，如果需要互拍就留连接给我吧：）

飞啊~飞UID: 2121330

帮你看了^.^很不好意思,颜色弄坏了

issue83 自己改了一下，欢迎拍砖！字数和速度仍不能兼顾，faint~
------题目------
Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people.
------正文------
With the development of the global economy and society, wilderness areas in the [the去掉][/natural state confront to even more and serious [也要比较级吧]problems than ever before, mainly in ecology aspect influenced by both natural and artificial factors. As the manager of a nation, government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in order to contribute to the further improvement of the whole country whatsoever.

First of all, many macroscopical factors result in the problems in wilderness areas. And only the government could have the capability to solve them, since these problems are serious and broad to some extent. One of them is ecologic 好词!学习~unbalance, which includes that lots of plants and animals in a ecologic chains go to die out [换extinct正式一点]and these areas are going to be deserted. If the deserted area, which is infertile and sterile, would broaden at an accelerated speed, the human being would probably extinct, and the earth might be destroyed in the future. Nowadays many animals prevailing millionth[millions]of years ago could [为什么could呢?应该用can吧]not be seen any more, and hundreds of thousands of all kinds of animals are going to extinct everyday. [觉得说到人,这里加个连接词,什么similarly之类的]They may be an important role in the ecologic chains in which human being is also one of the members. So their disappearance may possibly bring out a series of effect to the whole ecology system. Studying the cause, a great deal of human modernization activities, such as over-exploiting raw materials, polluting the environment, ignoring the remediation programs and so forth, refer to a national region and could be regulated by the macroscopical forces from the government.这里我看到的是你写环境破坏的后果,但是好象和政府的作用没联系起来,比如说反方会反对,可以私人来保护野地.而且我认为小段之后一句话总结一下比较好,免得跑了你的语言好好,我学习了!
Secondly, although usually these public owned wilderness areas are remote and not accessible to many people, the problems caused by people are not reduced but increased, since some people could serious influence these places by using many more developed tools and machines than those before. One case in point is the destruction of tropic rain forest. Hundreds of years ago, woodchoppers used the axes and choppers to cut the woods and lift the woods with hand, which was very laborsome and ineffective. By using the advanced tools and equipment, including electric saws, trucks, and many other machines contributing to disafforestation. People just learn to control several buttons, and large areas of forests would fall down under the handlers' manipulation. It is more effective because one person could finish dozens of the workload of the former workers did. That is to say the current single person is more powerful to influence the environment, though only a few people could be accessible to the wilderness areas. So the speed of remediation could not catch up with the speed of destruction. It is the time for government to regulate these activities to help the wild areas remain natural state.新颖的观点,和政府的关系要再点明一些,比如说,没有政府就死定了,你就写了一句.总之要回到政府上来.我的观点

Thirdly, admittedly, the wilderness areas should developed with the natural situation, and human being should not intervene in it. However, viewing the global destroy situation of wilderness areas and the more and more ecologic problems, which would threaten the progress of human society even our survival, the government should execute some programs and use the legal methods to regulate and preserve these regions in the natural state. 长!In another word, the individuals could not have enough force to solve the national problems. 你没说为什么啊,咋就得出这个结论呢.个人钱不够等等,说清楚比较好Furthermore, government is incumbent on solving these problems, since government is the manager of the country and serve for the people in the country.没展开不如不说In conclusion, government as the institution of serving for various national affairs[呵呵,这个表达我就是没想到,学习学习], is obliged to preserve the wildness areas in the natural state, which is meaningful to the development of the whole country and the people's lives. Although some wild areas are remote, we could not ignore them and their potential environmental problems.

你的语言好好,[我就是一边写还要一边想表达法,所以很慢]
觉得你行文没有多少连接词,这可能不太好,
还有我觉得最好包提纲列出来,这样互改的人比较好把握

飞啊~飞UID: 2121330

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D3
找了好久才找到自己的,都被淹了
我们组对吧,以后大家一起改
每天都写,好不?