issue144 V6战队，大家来看看啊~~~

nickaaronleeUID：183378

------题目------
It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
------正文------
The artist presents a large number of artistic treasures for us and satisfies our mental world. I strongly agree that it is the artist that gives society valuable things, instead of critic.

First of all, the incentive of artist and critic is different, which causes their works to have different value. An artist creates a work in order to record and curdle his sense of creativity and his feeling of arts. What he does is to excel the limitation of physical world. Nevertheless the duty of critic is just to judge the artists' works. The master works may definitely arouse the critic's complements. However their judgments may not last from generation and generation as the artist's works. Every year, there are a lot critiques on the works of Shakespeare. Some critics may spread out serious and incorrect judgments on Shakespeare's works in order to draw other's attention. However, Shakespeare's valuable works have persisted for centuries and will continue to be appreciated by the whole world. In other words, Shakespeare provides us something of lasting value much more than the critics. Thus, due the different incentives of artist and critic, the artist offers the society something valuable.

Furthermore, the critic inclines to the artist to exist. Only after the artist presents his works, can the critic give their critiques. Judgments by critics are countless. When the critiques of some works come to an end during a particular period, the value of the works will continue to last and the critiques of another period will go on. The valuable paintings of Van Gogh stand for the refulgence of his time. Although his works were not accepted by the critics during his period, the masterpieces are appreciated by the whole world now. Few people may pay attention and remember the critiques on his paintings at that time. Now the critiques on Van Gogh's works are worthless and not necessary, because the majority has realized the value of these masterpieces. Therefore, the critiques of critics may be not memorized by people, instead the lasting value provided by the artist will kept in people's heart.

Finally, from the past until now, there a lot of vivid facts prove that it is the artist gives society something of lasting value. A lot of artists in history have influenced a lot of people. Their works not only present us a fantastic world to enjoy but also may encourage and promote people in their daily life. For example, although Beethoven was deaf, he converted people's sorrow and frustration into enthusiasm and courage so as to overcome the obstacle by his symphony. From his music, the society obtains courage and strengths continuously. Moreover, there is a magazine in New York that selects the best book review every year. Usually people take notice and remember the book that the book review is about, not the book review itself. Hence, no matter in the past or now, the society and people all consider the artist that presents us lasting value.

To sum up, due to different incentives and functions of artist and critic, it is the artist that provides the society something of lasting value. Critics exist thanks to the works of artist. Their critiques are temporary, however the works of artists will continue to last forever.

[ Last edited by nickaaronlee on 2005-8-4 at 14:05 ]

mrealUID：201732

这篇写过的，我来！

mrealUID：201732

issue144 V6战队，大家来看看啊~~~

------题目------
It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
------正文------
The artist presents a large number of artistic treasures for us and satisfies our mental world. I strongly agree that it is the artist that gives society valuable things, instead of critic.

First of all, the incentive of artist and critic is different, which causes their works to have different value. An artist creates a work in order to record and curdle his sense of creativity and his feeling of arts. What he does is to excel the limitation of physical world. Nevertheless the duty of critic is just to judge the artists' works. The master works may definitely arouse the critic's complements. 这句话感觉和上下都没接上啊However their judgments may not last from generation and generation as the artist's works. Every year, there are a lot critiques on the works of Shakespeare. Some critics may spread out serious and incorrect judgments on Shakespeare's works in order to draw other's attention. However, Shakespeare's valuable works have persisted for centuries and will continue to be appreciated by the whole world. In other words, Shakespeare provides us something of lasting value much more than the critics. Thus, due the different incentives of artist and critic, the artist offers the society something valuable.

Furthermore, the critic inclines to the artist to exist.这个观点好新哦，没想到！ Only after the artist presents his works, can the critic give their critiques. Judgments by critics are countless. When the critiques of some works come to an end during a particular period, the value of the works will continue to last and the critiques of another period will go on. 你是想说评论是一波一波的吗？这句话似乎说的不是太清楚哦~The valuable paintings of Van Gogh stand for the refulgence of his time. Although his works were not accepted by the critics during his period, the masterpieces are appreciated by the whole world now. Few people may pay attention and remember the critiques on his paintings at that time. Now the critiques on Van Gogh's works are worthless and not necessary, because the majority has realized the value of these masterpieces. Therefore, the critiques of critics may be not memorized by people, instead the lasting value provided by the artist will kept in people's heart.

Finally, from the past until now, there a lot of vivid facts prove that it is the artist gives society something of lasting value. A lot of artists in history have influenced a lot of people. Their works not only present us a fantastic world to enjoy but also may encourage and promote people in their daily life. For example, although Beethoven was deaf, he converted people's sorrow and frustration into enthusiasm and courage so as to overcome the obstacle by his symphony. From his music, the society obtains courage and strengths continuously. Moreover, there is a magazine in New York that selects the best book review every year. Usually people take notice and remember the book that the book review is about, not the book review itself. Hence, no matter in the past or now, the society and people all consider the artist that presents us lasting value.

To sum up, due to different incentives and functions of artist and critic, it is the artist that provides the society something of lasting value. Critics exist thanks to这个有点口语化~ the works of artist. Their critiques are temporary, however the works of artists will continue to last forever.

mrealUID：201732

我觉得你的观点和结构都很好，而且很新颖。但是好像每一段的例子并没有很好的证明你每一段的观点，而都是直接在说artists能创造lasting value而critics的作用很短暂，如果更好的和每段的论点的联系起来，会把每段的意思说的更清楚的。
还有个小问题，就是你说的每一句话之间的关系不太紧密，虽然理解你整体要说的意思，但是感觉不是太有条理，可以考虑调整一下顺序或者加一些连接词。
有问题或我哪里理解的不对再讨论吧，加油哦！！！

nickaaronleeUID：183378

谢谢mreal意见哦，这篇写的时候大概太依照提纲了，句子之间的衔接做得不好，而且感觉在把提纲的意思表达清楚遇到了些困难，我再改改：）

vieripingUID：207712

我的意见是每一端的论述和中心句联系不是特别紧密 感觉中间有点交叉、
语言还是很不错的 值的学习 有空看看我的文章 快要考了啊
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;page=1#pid1689377

xiaowenzi118UID：202887

It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
------正文------
The artist presents a large number of artistic treasures for us and satisfies our mental world. I strongly agree that it is the artist that gives society valuable things, instead of critic.

First of all, the incentive of artist and critic is different, which causes their works to have different value. An artist creates a work in order to record and curdle his sense of creativity and his feeling of arts. What he does is to excel the limitation of physical world. Nevertheless the duty of critic is just to judge the artists' works. The master works may definitely arouse the critic's complements. However their judgments may not last from generation and generation as the artist's works. Every year, there are a lot critiques on the works of Shakespeare. Some critics may spread out serious and incorrect judgments on Shakespeare's works in order to draw other's attention. However, Shakespeare's valuable works have persisted for centuries and will continue to be appreciated by the whole world. In other words, Shakespeare provides us something of lasting value much more than the critics. Thus, due the different incentives of artist and critic, the artist offers the society something valuable. (观点很好,不过没说清楚, critics的incentive是什么呢?好像就看到了什么draw attention。建议先把两个都说清楚了再举例)
Furthermore, the critic inclines to the artist to exist. Only after the artist presents his works, can the critic give their critiques.（你的观点真的很新颖呀） Judgments by critics are countless. When the critiques of some works come to an end during a particular period, the value of the works will continue to last and the critiques of another period will go on. The valuable paintings of Van Gogh stand for the refulgence of his time. Although his works were not accepted by the critics during his period, the masterpieces are appreciated by the whole world now. Few people may pay attention and remember the critiques on his paintings at that time. Now the critiques on Van Gogh's works are worthless and not necessary, because the majority has realized the value of these masterpieces. Therefore, the critiques of critics may be not memorized by people, instead the lasting value provided by the artist will kept in people's heart. （同样的问题，就一句话带了一下，想看你的分析却找不到，这一段有点跑题了）
Finally, from the past until now, there a lot of vivid facts prove that it is the artist gives society something of lasting value. A lot of artists in history have influenced a lot of people. Their works not only present us a fantastic world to enjoy but also may encourage and promote people in their daily life. For example, although Beethoven was deaf, he converted people's sorrow and frustration into enthusiasm and courage so as to overcome the obstacle by his symphony. From his music, the society obtains courage and strengths continuously. Moreover, there is a magazine in New York that selects the best book review every year. Usually people take notice and remember the book that the book review is about, not the book review itself. （这个类比不错，不过没有点明你的目的，可能会让人看不出来的）Hence, no matter in the past or now, the society and people all consider the artist that presents us lasting value.

To sum up, due to different incentives and functions of artist and critic, it is the artist that provides the society something of lasting value. Critics exist thanks to the works of artist. Their critiques are temporary, however the works of artists will continue to last forever.

mkb57288UID：2105771

The artist presents a large number of artistic treasures for us and satisfies our mental world. I strongly agree that it is the artist that gives society valuable things, instead of critic.开头不错，语言简洁

First of all, the incentive of artist and critic is different, which causes their works to have different value. An artist creates a work in order to record and curdle（这个词好像有点儿问题）  his sense of creativity and his feeling of arts. What he does is to excel the limitation of physical world. Nevertheless the duty of critic is just to judge the artists' works. The master works may definitely arouse the critic's complements形近词注意区分 . However their judgments may not last from generation and generation as the artist's works. 点题之句，学习ing Every year, there are a lot critiques on the works of Shakespeare. Some critics may spread out serious （？？）and incorrect judgments on Shakespeare's works in order to draw other's attention.  However, Shakespeare's valuable works have persisted for centuries and will continue to be appreciated by the whole world. In other words, Shakespeare provides us something of lasting value much more than the critics. Thus, due the different incentives of artist and critic, the artist offers the society something valuable.

Furthermore, the critic inclines to（rely on） the artist to exist. （要是把后面那一句的意思在第一决表达清楚会更好）Only after the artist presents his works, can the critic give their critiques. Judgments by critics are countless.（前面这一句感觉根前后都没什么关系） When the critiques of some works come to an end during a particular period, the value of the works will continue to last and the critiques of another period will go on. The valuable paintings of Van Gogh stand for the refulgence of his time. Although his works were not accepted by the critics during his period, the masterpieces are appreciated by the whole world now. Few people may pay attention and remember the critiques on his paintings at that time. （很扣题）Now the critiques on Van Gogh's works are worthless and not necessary, because the majority has realized the value of these masterpieces. Therefore, the critiques of critics may be not memorized by people, instead the lasting value provided by the artist will kept in people's heart.

Finally, from the past until now, there a lot of vivid facts （感觉根前两段好像不在一个论证层面上）prove that it is the artist gives society something of lasting value. A lot of artists in history have influenced a lot of people. Their works not only present us a fantastic world to enjoy but also may encourage and promote people in their daily life. For example, although Beethoven was deaf, he converted people's sorrow and frustration into enthusiasm and courage so as to overcome the obstacle by his symphony. From his music, the society obtains courage and strengths continuously. Moreover, there is a magazine in New York that selects the best book review every year. Usually people take notice and remember the book that the book review is about, not the book review itself（举例恰当，学习ing）. Hence, no matter in the past or now, the society and people all consider the artist that presents us lasting value.

To sum up, due to different incentives and functions of artist and critic, it is the artist that provides the society something of lasting value. Critics exist thanks to the works of artist. Their critiques are temporary, however the works of artists will continue to last forever.
总体感觉很好，个人打分5分