argument9帮忙看看.第一次直接在电脑上写作

AlexandraUID: 185174

9   The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.

"Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors."

第一次 对着 电脑 思考狗狗， 一点思路，也没有。 挺麻木地一段一段的直接敲进来的,估计,这是 对着 电脑的真实水平.   跟手写的水平, 差远了.  55555555555555!! 好象很差劲啊。

但是还是要贴出来 受砖——让自己记住这个惨痛的下午！！
请大家不吝赐教！  谢谢！！

提纲：
1： the grades at Omega 是否真的inflated， 很怀疑。（grade averages 可能显著 提高了，也可能没有）
2： 找工作的不利，不一定 是the grades at Omega 的情况所影响。
3： terminate student evaluation of professors，就能让 毕业生的 就业状况有所改善？？


Giving some analysis and some evidence, the author alleges that Omega University (OU) graduates would secure better jobs when OU terminate the student evaluation of professors. Credible as it is on the surface, closer inspection will unclose the hidden flaws in several respects in the argument.

Primarily, one would wonders about whether the student grade averages of OU are in fact inflated. Maybe the student grade averages are not raise anymore. The 30% dada fails to support  that after implementing the procedure the student grades are assigned higher by professors. Is the grade averages compare to the lever of fifteen years ago or the lever of last year? As no evidence about this contain in the argument, a possibility cannot be excluded is that compare to the lever of fifteen years ago, the actual lever of the   grades presently increased little, even though a 30% increase seems significant. In this case the grades at Omega are likely do any effect on the OU  graduates. Even assumpes that the grades has increased by 30%, it can hardly indicates that the evaluation is responsible for the increasable.  Perhaps OU professors do effective jobs.Or perhaps OU students' grades are rise while they work harder than before. Hence, without  ruling out this or other possibilities, the author's conclusion is unconvincing.

Next, even if the grades at Omega are indeed inflated,  the author also fails to conclude that inflated grades at OU serve to the unsuccessful of the graduates finding jobs, relative to the graduates from Alpha Univesity. It is largely possible that the specialities in OU are not satisfy requirements in the job market. Lacking enough evidence to support, the auther cannot alleges that graduates from OU cannot secure better jobs as effectively as Alpha University graduates' based on the analisis abovt.

Additionaly, the arguer assumes that OU graduates would get better jobs while OU terminates the procedure eveluating the effectiveness of the professors. However, there is not enough informention  in the argument to advocate the assumes.  As admitting  the fact that OU  specialities do not fulfill the job market and this fact is due to the unsuccessful in getting jobs for OU graduates, it is possible that terminating the eveluation of professors do little even any affect on the OU graduates. Even admit that the unsuccessful is caused by the inflated grades, there is any evidence to support the assume that the employers would employ the graduates from OU.

To sum up, based on the lack of more effective information in argument, I would not accept the conclusion that the students of OU would get satisfy jobs if the OU stop the procedure that evaluated the teaching effectiveness of professors. Far more detail analysis and reliable evidence should be exerted to offer information showing that OU student grade averages are in deed inflated, and showing that OU graduates would obtain better jobs while this procedure is terminated.

[ Last edited by Alexandra on 2005-8-5 at 09:35 ]

d_messiahUID: 177468

这就看

d_messiahUID: 177468

提纲：
1： the grades at Omega 是否真的inflated， 很怀疑。（grade averages 可能显著 提高了，也可能没有）
2： 找工作的不利，不一定 是the grades at Omega 的情况所影响。
3： terminate student evaluation of professors，就能让 毕业生的 就业状况有所改善？？ 从提纲看，很好啊


Giving some analysis and some evidence, the author alleges that Omega University (OU) graduates would secure better jobs when OU terminate the student evaluation of professors. Credible as it is on the surface, closer inspection will unclose the hidden flaws in several respects in the argument.

Primarily, one would wonders about whether the student grade averages of OU are in fact inflated. Maybe the student grade averages are not raise anymore说法有问题，还有，原题不是用的数字表示了提高了吗？这个也能说maybe？相对提高和绝对提高，是你要批驳的地方吧？ 30% dada表示有问题吧 fails to support  that after implementing the procedure the student grades are assigned higher by professors. Is the grade averages compare to the lever of fifteen years ago or the lever of last year? As no evidence about this contain in the argument, a possibility cannot be excluded is that compare to the lever of fifteen years ago, the actual lever of the   grades presently increased little, even though a 30% increase seems significant. In this case the grades at Omega are likely do any effect on the OU  graduates.这里说教师评定对分数没有影响是否更合适呢？ Even assumpes that the grades has increased by 30%,绝对上的，应该承认这个增长数字，不用假设 it can hardly indicates that the evaluation is responsible for the increasable.  Perhaps OU professors do effective jobs.Or perhaps OU students' grades are rise while they work harder than before. Hence, without  ruling out this or other possibilities, the author's conclusion is unconvincing.看了一天的电脑了，有些眼花，头脑也不清楚，你这段的论述，感觉怪怪的，可能我现在头脑不转了吧

Next, even if the grades at Omega are indeed inflated,  the author also fails to conclude that inflated grades at OU serve to the unsuccessful of the graduates finding jobs, relative to the graduates from Alpha Univesity. It is largely possible that the specialities in OU are not satisfy？？？ requirements in the job market. Lacking enough evidence to support及物动词，好像不可以单独用吧，anyway脑袋有些晕，说错了，见谅 , the auther cannot alleges that graduates from OU cannot secure better jobs as effectively as Alpha University graduates' based on the analisis abovt.

Additionaly, the arguer assumes that OU graduates would get better jobs while OU terminates？after表述更好些吧，甚至说才对吧 the procedure eveluating the effectiveness of the professors. However, there is not enough informention  in the argument to advocate the assumes.  As admitting  the fact that OU  specialities do not fulfill the job market and this fact is due to the unsuccessful in getting jobs for OU graduates, it is possible that terminating the eveluation of professors do little even any->no affect on the OU graduates. Even admit that the unsuccessful is caused by the inflated grades, there is any-> no evidence to support the assume that the employers would employ the graduates from OU.

To sum up, based on the lack of more effective information in argument, I would not accept the conclusion that the students of OU would get satisfy jobs if the OU stop the procedure that evaluated the teaching effectiveness of professors. Far more detail analysis and reliable evidence should be exerted to offer information showing that OU student grade averages are in deed inflated, and showing that OU graduates would obtain better jobs while this procedure is terminated.

写的好像真不如以前，不过今天电脑前坐了太久了，有些迷糊，没敢多说话，包涵

[ Last edited by d_messiah on 2005-8-4 at 22:18 ]

d_messiahUID: 177468

表点名大牛、小牛的，早看到这个字眼就不看了

phobeUID: 199595

1： the grades at Omega 是否真的inflated， 很怀疑。（grade averages 可能显著 提高了，也可能没有）
2： 找工作的不利，不一定 是the grades at Omega 的情况所影响。
3： terminate student evaluation of professors，就能让 毕业生的 就业状况有所改善？？


Giving some analysis and some evidence, the author alleges that Omega University (OU) graduates would secure better jobs when OU terminate the student evaluation of professors. Credible as it is on the surface, closer inspection will unclose the hidden flaws in several respects in the argument.

Primarily, one would wonders about whether the student grade averages of OU are in fact inflated. Maybe the student grade averages are not raise anymore.[什么意思?anymore用于否定而且表将来] The 30% dada fails to support  that after implementing the procedure the student grades are assigned higher by professors. Is the grade averages compare[compared]to the lever of fifteen years ago or the lever of last year?[反问有问题吧,原文说since that time,分数上升了,这样说前一句也有问题了] As no evidence about this contain[contains吧] in the argument, a possibility cannot be excluded is that compare[compairing] to the lever of fifteen years ago, the actual lever of the   grades presently in creased little, even though a 30% increase seems significant.[这个驳斥点我觉得不妥,我认为分数上升应看为既成 事实]In this case the grades at Omega are likely do any effect on the OU  graduates. Even assumpes[assuming] that the grades has increased by 30%, it can hardly indicates that the evaluation is responsible for the increasabl[e.[increase]  Perhaps OU professors do effective jobs.Or perhaps OU students' grades are rise while they work harder than before. Hence, without  ruling out this or other possibilities, the author's conclusion is unconvincing.[整体来说这段写的偏重点有问题,主要是那个分数上升我个人觉得不能那样驳斥]
Next, even if the grades at Omega are indeed inflated,  the author also fails to conclude that inflated grades at OU serve to the unsuccessful [failure]of the graduates finding jobs, relative to the graduates from Alpha Univesity.??? It is largely possible that the specialities in OU are not satisfy requirements in the job market.[不通] Lacking enough evidence to support, the auther cannot alleges that graduates from OU cannot secure better jobs as effectively as Alpha University graduates' based on the analisis abovt.[能不能把可能性再扩展点,这样才够充实]
Additionaly, the arguer assumes that OU graduates would get better jobs while[难道while能表假设吗?没见过啊] OU terminates the procedure eveluating the effectiveness of the professors. However, there is not enough informention  in the argument to advocate the assumes.  As admitting  the fact that OU  specialities do not fulfill[用的不妥] the job market and this fact is due to the unsuccessful in getting jobs for OU graduates, it is possible that terminating the eveluation of professors do little even any[a littile or enen no] affect on the OU graduates. Even admit [admitting]that the unsuccessful is caused by the inflated grades, there is any[any能表否定吗] evidence to support the assume that the employers would employ the graduates from OU.

To sum up, based on the lack of more effective information in argument, I would not accept the conclusion that the students of OU would get satisfy[satisfying] jobs if the OU stop the procedure that evaluated the teaching effectiveness of professors. Far more detail analysis and reliable evidence should be exerted to offer information showing that OU student grade averages are in deed inflated, and showing that OU graduates would obtain better jobs while this procedure is terminated.

phobeUID: 199595

我也不是什么大牛小牛,我是支持你的phobe:)
加油!

AlexandraUID: 185174

谢谢两位的修改
我错了！！ 道歉

但是 你们每个人在我心里  真是 牛人啊
比我好啊

AlexandraUID: 185174

我把我的意思表达 一下。
（1）grade averages 是否真inflated ??

也许grades 真rise 了，但是可能是professors  do effective 的原因。也可能是学生们 更努力了。
也许压根没有多大的变化——是 30%  太含糊。 尽管它看起来很显著的样子—— 没有原来分数 做比较，
而且，是对最近的情况 还是对15年当前的情况？
可以说30% 所代表的 提升，是很小的幅度， 那这样子的话， 就无从说起inflated 了  

（2）不管是否 grades 真 inflated  。
成绩不见得 是影响OU 毕业生就业情况的主要原因。 可能是 它的专业 设置，不能够很好的满足市场的需求  而刚好 A 大 的 专业 很热。

（2）没有足够的理由说明 停了这项 评估， 用人单位就 会用OU 的学生。 如果像 我上面 说的， 状况不好是受专业影响 ， 那么 停了评估，也不见得 OU 的毕业生 就业状况 就好转。

  可能是第一次 对着电脑直接思考，所以， 很多意思 没有能够 很好的表达。

谢谢你们的修改。我会 好好的 检查自己。