issue131 V6站队 8。4

dinddind2003UID：196353

Issue131  第5篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：74分59秒     416 words
从2005年6月31日19时21分到2005年6月31日20时74分
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The arts (painting, music, literature, etc.) reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society.  
提纲：1 艺术体现了社会的各方面是社会的要求
      2 艺术体现社会隐藏的一面以及社会的内涵是符合作者的利益的
      3 艺术同时也混合了作者自身的情感
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I strongly agree with the author that the arts such as painting, music and so on reflect the hidden ideas and impulses of a society, although they also reveal the thoughts of the artists themselves.

Admittedly, the arts as a description of the society should tell the people nearly every aspect of the society in which human beings live. Hardly any character of the society, no matter superficial or hidden, does not reveal itself in some manner, and a good way is through arts which usually dealing with phenomenon appearing in our lives. To illustrate this clearly, take literature for example, when a writer creates writing, either real or imaginary, his ideas are usually based on the facts which betray some characters of the society occur in the daily life. In the war time there were writings about the warfare and the works about the hope of peace; in the peace there are writings about the flourish and the works about the inner impulse of the society. Thus, the arts can tell people the real content of the society to a great extent.

Furthermore, considering the benefits of the artist, they should give people a attractive description of the society to persuade people to buy their works. Since what many people want to know about the society is the hidden and the inner aspect rather than appearances which people can see through their own eyes. A successful artist would create for the reader's interest. For example, when the architects design modern buildings they prefer their works reveal a decisive and a swift feeling which may reflect the rhythm of the modern life. And when people see these buildings they may feel the essential of the life so people may be encouraged.

However, the arts produced by the artist, would be confused with the producer's own sentiments. An artist can not create a work absolutely objective. His (or hers) attitudes about the phenomenon would be discovered in the works even he (or she) want to hide them by hard. For example, can people say that the style of Picasso is merely the society's reflection of the hidden impulse for constant change but not confused with the complex psychological profile of an eccentric artist? Thus, the arts also mirror the artist's own feelings and urges.

To sum up, although reveal the hidden aspects and impulses of the society, if the arts abandon the feeling of the artists, they would be nothing more than a accurate review of the history.

xiaowenzi118UID：202887

The arts (painting, music, literature, etc.) reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society.
提纲：1 艺术体现了社会的各方面是社会的要求
2 艺术体现社会隐藏的一面以及社会的内涵是符合作者的利益的
3 艺术同时也混合了作者自身的情感
------正文------


I strongly agree with the author that the arts such as painting, music and so on reflect the hidden ideas and impulses of a society, although they also reveal the thoughts of the artists themselves. (这样的开头有点突兀了)
Admittedly, the arts as a description of the society should tell the people nearly every aspect of the society in which human beings live. (should 似乎有点不恰当了,这是让你反映一个事实,不是让你说对它的要求吧) Hardly any character of the society, no matter superficial or hidden, does not reveal itself in some manner, and a good way is through arts which usually dealing with phenomenon appearing in our lives. To illustrate this clearly, take literature for example, when a writer creates writing, either real or imaginary, his ideas are usually based on the facts which betray some characters of the society occur in the daily life. In the war time there were writings about the warfare and the works about the hope of peace; in the peace there are writings about the flourish and the works about the inner impulse of the society. Thus, the arts can tell people the real content of the society to a great extent. (有点抽象,可以结合具体一点的作品谈谈,而且不要限于一个方面, 看看题目吧,可以展开的)

Furthermore, considering the benefits of the artist, they should(又来了) give people a attractive description of the society to persuade people to buy their works. Since what many people want to know about the society is the hidden and the inner aspect rather than appearances which people can see through their own eyes. A successful artist would create for the reader's interest. For example, when the architects design modern buildings they prefer their works reveal a decisive and a swift feeling which may reflect the rhythm of the modern life. And when people see these buildings they may feel the essential of the life so people may be encouraged.(总感觉这段像还没写完的样子)
However, the arts produced by the artist, would be confused with(这个词不太好吧, 而且从这个Topic sentence 来看没有很好得过渡,起码也要让步一下吧) the producer's own sentiments. An artist can not create a work absolutely objective. His (or hers) attitudes about the phenomenon would be discovered in the works even he (or she) want to hide them by hard. For example, can people say that the style of Picasso is merely the society's reflection of the hidden impulse for constant change but not confused with the complex psychological profile of an eccentric artist? Thus, the arts also mirror the artist's own feelings and urges.

To sum up, although reveal the hidden aspects and impulses of the society, if the arts abandon the feeling of the artists, they would be nothing more than a accurate review of the history.

字数太少了,刚开始吧,艺术的不好写呀。加油！！

xiaowenzi118UID：202887

另外,我的Issue其实在你改之前我就发过修改稿了,以为那篇冲掉了呢.实在不好意思让你们重复劳动了.

dinddind2003UID：196353

谢谢批改，艺术的例子感觉很少啊，我看范文上举得也不是很具体

dinddind2003UID：196353

还有你说第三段没写完是不是再总结一下本段中心会好些呢？

xiaowenzi118UID：202887

对。对这个题目更深入的了解建议去看一下Pooh的百宝箱，GTER上就有的