issue130 我不会写1+1 sigh~~

alcestisUID: 2101945

How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

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syllabus:
1社会化很重要
1.1社会化良好的人心理素质好 可以是社会更稳定 容易进步
1.2社会化好的人合作能力强 使社会更好运转 容易发展
2我们对于教育特别是社会化的努力使我们的社会越来越好
2.1事实上我们的社会一直在进步 所以我们不知如何教育孩子以达成一个好社会的讲法不正确
2.2社会进步是教育特别是社会化的结果
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Socialization is an important part in people's development. And the level of socialization can determine the destiny of society. People have already known much about how to help children during their socialization process, thus our society is going forward day by day.

The importance of socialization lies in two aspects. Firstly, children who are better socialized grow up and develop better characteristics, and have healthier psychological status. Better socialized people control their emotions better and adjust their behavior properly towards different situation. When they confront something unfair, they calmly consider what can be done to change the situation rather than cry aloud in rage; when they experience the lose of a beloved friends, they hide their pain and continue to complete what they should do rather than sink in sorrow and ruined the lives of their own as well as others'; when they fail in a game, they lose with grace and congratulate the winners from bottom of their hearts rather than complain about their own bad luck. A society with this kind of people is more stable, more peaceful, and more temperate. This kind of society overcomes crisis much easier, for the self-confidence of the people. This kind of society faces pain more placid for the mature of the people. This kind of society progresses much easier for the high spirit of the people. Psychological condition can determine the living standard and life attitude of people, and further determine the condition and destiny of the society formed by the people.

Secondly, well socialized people know how to cooperate with others which is very fundamental to a society especially modern society. In our time, hardly anything great can be accomplished all by one individual, as a result of great specialization. Cooperation is needed which is a common belief hold by most people. But unfortunately, not everybody have the ability to cooperate with others. Well socialized people, with adequate interpersonal skills, efficient communication abilities, and high sensitivity of others' feeling, are more skillful in cooperation. With this people, a society bands tighter, and functions wholly as a well-organized machine, develops in a higher speed.

And, our society is improved towards a better one by the effort people placed on the education, especially socialization of the children. People can not deny that the society of human being develops and progresses everyday. Human being have been greatly changed, from a group of barbarians generally earned their living by hunting without languages and letters to a group of people have special skills in various areas with the ability to communicating with someone far away easily and accurately. At the same time, the society of human being is changing, from tribes and nations controlled by the arbitrary will of a few to a global village where liberty and democracy deeply rooted in most people’s minds.

As I have mentioned above, we are living in a society which is gradually become better and better. So, it is really unfair to say that people have not yet know how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. With the endeavor of the whole society, people already gain some knowledge about this. Schools mainly aim at build up children’s knowledge and skills also help children to develop relationship with their peers. And with the awareness with the crucial role of socialization, family, and communities involve in education and contribute greatly. For, the family helps with developing the characteristics and basic attitude of life. While the community assists the children build up relationship with people of different background and age rank and find the position of themselves in the society.  

All in all, socialization is crucial for a society. And by education, especially helping the children better socialized, our society has been and will still stably develop into a better one in the foreseeable future.

echostateUID: 194935

Socialization is an important part in people's development. And the level of socialization can determine the destiny[直接用future/prospect吧，destiny这个词，是不是本身有点“不可预知，不可决定”的意味呢？] of society. People have already known much about how to help children during their socialization process, thus our society is going forward day by day.
[
美国传统词典上对destiny的解释：
1．
The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one's lot.See Synonyms at fate
命运：一个特定的人或事注定的不可避免的运气；命运 参见 fate

2．A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control:
注定：一个事件预先决定的，超越了人的能力和控制的过程：

3．
The power or agency thought to predetermine events; fate:
命运：被认为能预先决定事件的力量或因素；命运：
]

The importance of socialization lies in two aspects. Firstly, children who are better socialized grow up and develop better characteristics, and have healthier psychological status.[这里提到了character，人格/品质，实际上这是美国人很重视的一点，小布什就提出了character education，人格教育———但是你下面只提到了心理素质的培养，没有提到人格——诚实、正直、谦虚等等。换句话说，你的TS里提到了美国人很注重的一个词，下文却没有展开~~~] Better socialized people control their emotions better and adjust their behavior properly towards[确定这里用这个介词对的？] different situation. When they confront something unfair, they calmly consider what can be done to change the situation rather than cry aloud in rage; when they experience the lose [loss] of a beloved friends, they [can] hide their pain and continue to complete what they should do rather than sink in sorrow and ruined the lives of their own as well as others'; when they fail in a game, they lose with grace and congratulate the winners from bottom of their hearts rather than complain about their own bad luck. A society with this kind of people is more stable, more peaceful, and more temperate. This kind of society overcomes crisis much easier, for the self-confidence of the people[跟自信怎么扯上关系的？]. This kind of society faces pain more placid for the mature of the people [face pain placid，这个说法有点……中国式英语吗？]. This kind of society progresses much easier for [用了好几个for了，表示原因的词很多啊，换换] the high spirit of the people. Psychological condition can determine the living standard and life attitude of people, and further determine the condition and destiny of the society formed by the people [与其用这么一大段话光说心理素质，最后搞得没话找话了，不如加上character方面——还可以有例子——华盛顿啊，林肯阿，都是人格高尚之人啊，最后都对社会有巨大贡献啊~~~~].

Secondly, well socialized people know how to cooperate with others which is very fundamental to a society especially modern society[重复出现society，不好]. In our time, hardly anything great can be accomplished all by one individual, as a result of great specialization[你是说，因为一个人物的每个方面的完成，都需要对这个方面相关领域的深入了解，而一个人是不可能精通几个方面的，所以一个人做不了great matter，不过你这个逻辑也太隐晦了~~~老外不习惯~~他们笨~~~]. Cooperation is needed which is a common belief hold by most people. But unfortunately, not everybody have the ability to cooperate with others. Well socialized people, with adequate interpersonal skills, efficient communication abilities, and high sensitivity of others' feeling, are more skillful in cooperation. With this[these] people, a society bands tighter, and functions wholly as a well-organized machine, develops[progress/advance] in a higher speed.

And, our society is improved towards a better one by the effort people placed on the education, especially socialization of the children. People can not deny that the society of human being [人类社会，明显的中国式英语吧：P] develops and progresses everyday. Human being have been greatly changed, from a group of barbarians generally earned their living by hunting without languages and letters to a group of people have special skills in various areas with the ability to communicating with someone far away easily and accurately. At the same time, the society of human being is changing, from tribes and nations controlled by the arbitrary will of a few to a global village where liberty and democracy deeply rooted in most people’s minds.

As I have mentioned above, we are living in a society which is gradually become better and better. So, it is really unfair to say that people have not yet know how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.[你这段和上一段为什么分开？其实这段的第一句可以作为这两段的TS的！而上一段的那个TS应该作为这段的一个evidence比较合理！而且完全不用写这么多的，这两段的内容合成一段左右就ok了，到时候考场上限时，肯定写不了600多~~~] With the endeavor of the whole society, people already gain some knowledge about this. Schools mainly aim at build up children’s knowledge and skills also help children to develop relationship with their peers. And with the awareness with the crucial role of socialization, family, and communities involve in education and contribute greatly. For[????], the family helps with developing the characteristics and basic attitude of life. While the community assists the children build up relationship with [among] people of different background and age rank and find the position of themselves in the society.
[我觉得这段保留，上一段直接删了得了~~这样全文的逻辑就比较紧凑~~~]  

All in all, socialization is crucial for a society. And by education, especially helping the children better socialized, our society has been and will still stably develop into a better one in the foreseeable future.

echostateUID: 194935

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=314493

我也狂写中~~