Issue185 V6站队 8.10 高频！比较顺的一篇

mkb57288UID: 2105771

------题目------
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
------正文------   631 words
Although the speaker underrates the importance of reformers as the siren of our society, I agree that the scandals indeed focus our attention on potential problems of our society, as demonstrated in the field of politics, academy, and business, and so forth.

In the domain of politics, scandals draw our attention to the foibles of our political leaders and the potential defect of our democratic system. One of the most compelling examples lies in scandal of Watergate. The active role Nixon played in the cover-up revealed that his self-concern took precedence over the interest of the democratic system, which granted him the power in the first place. The scandal reflects the destitution of supervision for the incumbent and directly gave birth to the Act of Freedom of Information, which is definite the result the concern about the defect of our democratic system.

In the field of business, scandals also concentrate our attention on the potential problems—such as manipulation, frenetic greed for profit, lack of regulation, and so forth. For example, as a culprit behind Enron’s bankruptcy, zealous pursuit for profit, which is catalyzed by slack regulation, results in a series trouble to other large companies such as WorldCom. Even the endowment fund gave up its prudent operation in the face of that undue profit, which severely undermined its reputation. By evaporating billions of dollars in stock market, such tragedy does not only suspend the prosperity lasting for ten years but also drive us to reflect what goes wrong. As a result, a series of law aiming at the regulation of large firms are implemented.

The rationale even applies to the field of academy, which has been ever taken as fairyland free from scandals. Nowadays, few of us will deny that, to get more research fund, some scientists sacrifice the disinterest and integrity to pander to the demand of business, which seems cynical before. Such scandals inform us that we should also pay attention to the morality and honesty of scholars, who are foibled human beings after all. Moreover, with the development of biology, more ethic problems are revealed. Although it appears to be far-fetched to worry about the birth of a Frankston, certain new technologies—such as clone and gene-recombination have touch the sensitive standard of the mass. After all the rampant technical advancement serve as a hotbed for more egregious scandals, which, though potential, are enough to draw our attention on the problems whether human moral development can keep pace with that of technology.

However, it would be presumptuous for the speaker to claim that no reformer can focus our attention on the problems as effective as scandals. After all, the reformers are usually more insightful than the ordinary individuals in the potential problems in our society. Serving as sirens, the reformers usually show our society where the defects are ahead. Take Martin Luther King as a telling example, his speech—“I have a dream”, which remind us the inequality of African-American, did not call less attention of the mass on that issue than any scandals. Moreover, scandals usually cost our society heavily, both mentally and economically. Let us back to the example of Enron again, if our society can pay more attention to the impendent crisis as some reformers suggest, we can indeed alleviate the loss in wealth and confidence of private investors—that is reformers not only focus our attention on the potential problems but also mitigate our loss, if any.

In final analysis, I concede that scandals—whether in the field of politics, business, or even academy, can focus our attention on the plague of our society. However, we should gave enough respect to reformers, who can also draw our attention to the problems and steer our society away from such scandals.

[ Last edited by mkb57288 on 2005-8-10 at 21:31 ]

kobestrongUID: 2117374

这篇写过,先占着,等会来

kobestrongUID: 2117374

不好意思啊,不是不想改,是看了半天
觉得实在没什么好挑剔的了
结构很完整,例子都举得不错,语言用词丰富,句式多变
个人觉得要是在考场上能写成这样,起码也是5分啊!!!:lol
向你学习~
继续加油!!!:victory:

esmeirasUID: 202885

偶来看看

esmeirasUID: 202885

------题目------
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
------正文------   631 words
Although the speaker underrates the importance of reformers as the siren of our society, I agree that the scandals indeed focus our attention on potential problems of our society, as demonstrated in the field of politics, academy, and business, and so forth. 很不错的开头啊

In the domain of politics, scandals draw our attention to the foibles of our political leaders and the potential defect of our democratic system. 再加一句铺垫一下会更加丰满一点。一句解释就跟例子有点冲 One of the most compelling examples lies in scandal of Watergate. The active role Nixon played in the cover-up revealed that his self-concern took precedence over the interest of the democratic system, which granted him the power in the first place. The scandal reflects the destitution of supervision for the incumbent and directly gave birth to the Act of…  the Freedom of Information Act 这里我的文章有详细论述, which is (was) definite the result of our concern about the defect of our democratic system. 代词our 用得太多了。小改一下供参考：  which was definitely the result of public concern about the defects lying in the democratic system

In the field of business, scandals also concentrate our attention on the(删) potential problems—such as manipulation 操控，可以这样用么？ 偶不知道。。~~讨论讨论, frenetic greed for profit, lack(lacking) of regulation, and so forth. For example, as a culprit behind Enron’s bankruptcy, zealous pursuit for profit, which is catalyzed by slack regulation, results in a series of other large companies such as WorldCom 怎么了？ 后面就没啦？. Even the endowment fund gave up its prudent operation in the face of that undue profit, which severely undermined its reputation. By evaporating billions of dollars in stock market, such tragedy does(删) not only havesuspend the prosperity lasting for ten years but also (have also driven)drive us to reflect what (时态，要用完成时)goes wrong. As a result, a series of law aiming at the regulation of large firms are implemented.  大家都是水门，安能。。~~憔悴。。。

The rationale 好词！even applies to the field of academy, which has been ever taken as fairyland free from scandals. 连接词，however,…Nowadays, few of us will deny that, (in order) to get more research fund, some scientists sacrifice the disinterest and integrity to pander to the demand of business, (which seems cynical before. 不懂) ) Such scandals inform us that we should also pay attention to the morality and honesty of scholars, who are foibled拼错了？什么意思。。？ human beings after all. Moreover, with the development of biology, more ethic problems are revealed. Although it appears to be far-fetched to worry about the birth of a Frankston 这个词什么意思？ 偶不知道，楼主告诉偶 ，呵呵, certain new technologies—such as clone and gene-recombination have touch the sensitive standard of the mass. After all the rampant technical advancement serve as a hotbed for more egregious scandals, which, though potential, are enough to draw our attention on the problems whether human moral development can keep pace with that of technology. 赞一个结尾！ 例子，分析想的很好啊，学术方面的我根本没想到这里来呢，呵呵

However, it would be presumptuous for the speaker to claim that no reformer can focus our attention on the problems as effective as scandals.  After all, the reformers are usually more insightful than the ordinary individuals in the potential problems in our society. Serving as sirens, the reformers usually show our society where the defects are ahead. Take Martin Luther King as a telling example, his speech—“I have a dream”, which remind us the inequality of African-American, did not call less attention of the mass on that issue than any scandals. Moreover, scandals usually cost our society heavily, both mentally and economically. Let us back to the example of Enron again, if our society can pay more attention to the impendent crisis as some reformers suggesthave suggested, we can indeed alleviate the loss in wealth and confidence of private investors—that is reformers not only focus our attention on the potential problems but also mitigate our loss, if any( 是吗。。？不一定的说。。。~~ ).  

In final analysis, I concede that scandals—whether in the field of politics, business, or even academy, can focus our attention on the plague of our society. However, we should gavegive enough respect to reformers, who can also draw our attention to the problems and steer our society away from such scandals.
Comments:
1．文章非常好的，结构很清晰，分类讨论例子都很充分。 楼主词语好丰富哦。。羡慕ing..~~~
2．B3 我个人是很喜欢的，但好象听过MLK 是有争议的人物，不知道和不合适。 再让大家讨论一下
Last but not least, 楼主帮我砸：)
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;page=1#pid1715813

[ Last edited by esmeiras on 2005-8-10 at 20:53 ]