issue41 熊熊互助组--互拍！

foreveraUID: 202035

下午心绪稳定一下就来拍....现在脑子乱的很....

不过好象篇幅很不够的样子...+u了哦!!

sebarinaUID: 2108158

占座……

yurong84UID: 2120087

俺也来占个座拉......

yurong84UID: 2120087

With the development of human civilization, there is a growing public attention paid to nonmainstream's role, and function（需要逗号吗？）. What role has it played in society? And as what it served us?（你这是和上句的role,and function对应？感觉不地道） The speaker insists that such nonmainsteam areas act as an important issue（？） in human lives by satisfying human needs that are not addressed, or properly addressed（开头应该简练一点）, by mainstream science. Some might argue it is quite the opposite（这句不错）. As I am concerned, extremely stick（ing） to either might be invalid. So, on a balance, I am inclined to support the title statement.（你这段有好多用法我不懂啊~~~）

Nonmainstream areas of inquiry which, in fact, is rooted deeply in human mind （,which ）do show an importance in human lives since ancient times. With little knowledge about the world we live in, and the conditions of ourselves, we feel frustrate(d) when thing does not run as we expect(这里可不可以用expected?欢迎讨论！). When looking for the reason of it, we are confused to find out that they are beyond our abilities to control them去掉, or at least to make any sense about them. Thus, the nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits come out, and the moment our record of civilization come（s） into being. In fact, everyone have（has） to concede that, they do make a favor（自造用法吧呵呵~~） for us to conquer this rough time.
（跟我的思路挺像的嘛，一看就知道你要说什么了，就是语言中国化了）

Moreover, the high-speed development of science, actually, does not release human, but push us to a more harmful, hasty, and aimless life. The faster paces are, the more we confuse with ourselves, and the little emphasis put on a tiny individual（不是吧）. Without affirmation from others and the world, we feel more upset about ourselves which make further prosperity of these nonmainstream areas. As long as the rooted fear and discomfort exist, nonmainstream areas will never lose the power of controlling our mind, no matter how well established is science, which aimed at solving our problems but actually product more.（转来转去的偶都晕了~~）

Admittedly, nonstream(nonmainstream) areas of inquiry have did(done) a myriad of harm toward human beings. It is a shame that they have been used by evil powers, made hundreds of thousands of people got mental diseases, or even suicide（我也想到了^^）. It is also a shame of humans who indeed should be blamed.
(语法错误唉~~~)

To conclude, nonmainstream areas of inquiry, play a vital role in ancient times, and what is more, they do play and will play more important role in modern society since the fear grasping us does not extinct, but seems gained more while（with） our growing unconscious about ourselves, the people around us , and the world.（你的important包括好的和不好的影响对吗，但你没有说出more这层意思来吧）

我对题目的理解和你略有不同
我觉得题目是强调这些学科也有其闪光的一面
而你论述的agree中却将其否决了
不知道是不是我的理解有问题:confused:
欢迎来拍我的：
issue41

sebarinaUID: 2108158

With the development of human civilization, there is a growing public attention paid to nonmainstream's role, and function. What role has it played in society? And as:haswhat it served us? The speaker insist that such nonmainsteam areas act as an important issue in human lives by satisfying human needs that are not addressed, or properly addressed, by mainstream science. Some might argue it is quite the opposite. As I am concerned, extremely stick to either might be invalid. So, on a balance, I am inclined to support the title statement.这是什么意思呢？到底是坚持一方观点不对呢，怎么你有坚持题目了呢？

Nonmainstream areas of inquiry which, in fact, is rooted deeply in human's mind do show an importance in human lives since ancient times. With little knowledge about the world we live, and the conditions of ourselves, we feel frustrate:frustrated when thing要么加不定冠词，要么复数 does not run as we expect. When looking for the reason of it, we are confused to find out that they are beyond our abilities to control them, or at least to make any sense about them. Thus, the nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits come out, the moment our record of civilization come复数 into being. In fact, everyone have to concede that, they do make a favor for us to conquer this rough time.

Moreover, the high-speed development of science, actually, does not release human, but push us to a more harmful, hasty, and aimless life. The faster paces are, the more we confuse with ourselves, and the little emphasis put on a tiny individual. Without affirmation from others and the world, we feel more upset 你这个表达的意思不对吧about ourselves which make further prosperity of these nonmainstream areas. As long as the rooted fear and discomfort exist, nonmainstream areas will never lose the power of controlling our mind, no matter how well established is science, which aimed at solving our problems but actually product怎么用了名次 more.

Admittedly, nonstream areas of inquiry have did a myriad of harm toward human beings. It is a shame that they have been used by evil powers, made hundreds of thousands of people got mental diseases, or even suicide. It is also a shame of humans who indeed should be blamed.这一段就不知道你要说什么了

To conclude, nonmainstream areas of inquiry, play a vital role in ancient times, and what is more, they do play and will play more important role in modern society since the fear grasping us does not extinct, but seems gained more while our growing unconscious about ourselves, the people around us , and the world.
发现读不懂了……
----------------------------
第一次限时都写得很烂~我今天的两篇也都没有限时成功~因为写多了~~~~

下次最好改完了再放上来~这样的文章挑出错误也没什么意义~本身没有提高

当然你可以两篇一起放对比下~就知道你限时易犯哪些问题了

neo_athrunUID: 2111270

With the development of human civilization, there is aattention 能用a修饰吗？ growing public attention paid to nonmainstream's role, and function作用不提也罢~有凑字之嫌:p. What role has it played in society? And as what it served us? The speaker insists that such nonmainsteam areas act as an important issue in human lives by satisfying human needs that are not addressed, or properly addressed, by mainstream science. Some might argue it is quite the opposite. As I am concerned, extremely sticking to either might be invalid总觉得这个词表达的意思不合适，用reasonless？. So, on a balance, I am inclined to support the title statement这个title statement 指的是？觉得最好明确说出来.

Nonmainstream areas of inquiry which, in fact, is rooted deeply in human mind do show an importance in human lives since ancient times. With little knowledge about the world we live, and the conditions of ourselves, we feel frustrated when thing does not run as we expect. When looking for the reason of itit指代不明啊, we are confused to find out that they are beyond好！ our abilities to control them这个them可以省吧？ 主语是they呢, or at least to make any sense about them同理. Thus, the nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits come out, the moment our record of civilization come into being这个句子表达的意思不清楚，是说由于非主流学科的产生出现了文明的纪录？觉得和前面有点挂不上，前面说的是解释一些现象…. In fact, everyone have to concede that, they do make a favor for us to conquer this rough time.思路是对地，不过似乎没有说到底就得出“帮助人类征服困难时期”这个结论，你只论述到那些学科出现了~

Moreover, the high-speed development of science, actually, does not release human, but push us to a more harmful, hasty, and aimless life这个句子好！. The faster paces are, the more we confuse这是个及物动词吧？ are confused with ourselves, and the littleless？ emphasis put on a tiny individual. Without affirmation from others and the world, we feel more upset about ourselves which make further prosperity of these nonmainstream areas. As long as the rooted fear and discomfort exist, nonmainstream areas will never lose the power of controlling our mind, no matter how well established is science, which aimed at solving our problems but actually product more这个长句好啊！这一段按照你的思路没错，不过我不太同意你强调的重点尽管科学会产生更多的疑惑，非主流看似满足了人们的心理“解决”了很多问题，但是历史见证了这些非主流并没有正确的解释现象，按照这个逻辑，给人们带来的discomfort更多~.

Admittedly, nonstream areas of inquiry have did a myriad of harm toward human beings. It is a shame that they have been used by evil powers, made hundreds of thousands of people got mental diseases, or even suicide. It is also a shame of humans who indeed should be blamed. 最后这句话说得奇怪了，为什么让步到这些该被责备的人了呢？  这一段还是大有潜力可挖的咯（字数上:D）

To conclude, nonmainstream areas of inquiry, play a vital role in ancient times, and what is more, they do play and will play 递进！好more important role in modern society since the fear grasping us does not extinct, but seems gained more while our growing unconscious about ourselves, the people around us , and the world.
while 的意思没看懂~:(

总体上字数显得少了点，举两个例子就好了~
我的观点和你是totally different所以有关逻辑的问题我按照我角度来提的，你暂且看之就行了。这篇文章我也写得好郁闷:(不过还是要提醒你的论点，总觉得立的有一点危险~
写了好几个比较“闪”的句子继续努力啊！
由于是刚睡醒拍文可能会有不当处呵呵见谅

foreveraUID: 202035

With the development of human civilization, there is a growing public attention paid to nonmainstream's role, and function. What role has it played in society? And as what it served us? 恩..不错...在提问之前加上背景分析...值得借鉴...不过问句之后最好加上on earth,这样读起来会比较通顺.The speaker insist that such nonmainsteam areas act as an important issue in human lives by satisfying human needs that are not addressed, or properly addressed, by mainstream science. Some might argue it is quite the opposite. As far asI am concerned, extremely stick to either might be invalid. 比我的那句看起来都爽....哈哈So, on a balance, I am inclined to support the title 没看懂哦...statement.purple开头进步很大哦...不过最好在简练一点

Nonmainstream areas of inquiry which, in fact, is rooted deeply in human mind do ms有语法错误show an importance in human lives since ancient times. With little knowledge about the world we live, and the conditions of ourselves, we feel frustrate when thing does not run as we expect. When looking for the reason of it, we are confused to find out that they are beyond our abilities to control 前面说reason了...这里就换成explain或elucidate吧 them, or at least to make any sense about them. Thus, the nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits come out, the moment our record of civilization come into being. In fact, everyone have to concede that, they do make a favor for us to conquer this rough time.不论从语言从思路上都有很大进步...但是思维不要跳跃性太大了,还有加个例子会更好..

Moreover, the high-speed development of science, actually, does not release human, but push us to a more harmful life不能用harmful吧...dangerous就可以了, hasty, and aimless life. The faster paces are, the more we confuse with ourselves The faster the paces, the more the confusion.我记的可以这样简化的, and the little emphasis put on a tiny individual. Without affirmation from others and the world, we feel more upset about ourselves which make further prosperity of these nonmainstream areas. As long as the rooted fear and discomfort exist, nonmainstream areas will never lose the power of controlling our mind, no matter how well established is science 是不是应该倒过来, which aimed at solving our problems but actually product more.

Admittedly, nonstream areas of inquiry have did a myriad of harm toward human beings. It is a shame that they have been used by evil powers, made hundreds of thousands of people got mental diseases, or even suicide. It is also a shame of humans who indeed should be blamed dramatically. 似乎有点单薄了,简练但是要把意思说的很直白,

To conclude, nonmainstream areas of inquiry, play a vital role in ancient times, and what is more, they do play and will play more important role in modern society since the fear grasping us does not extinct, but seems gained more while our growing unconscious about ourselves, the people around us , and the world.


整体来说不错,不过注意论证方式不要太单一了,还有一些表示语气的副词应该注意...


俺的41...这篇写的很痛苦
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=316953

purple1228UID: 2116196

With the development of human civilization, more and more attention pays to nonmainstream's role and function. What role has it played in society on earth? And as what it served us? The speaker insists that such nonmainsteam areas act as an important part in human lives by satisfying human needs that are not addressed, or properly addressed, by mainstream science. Some might argue it is quite the opposite. As I am concerned, extremely sticking to either might be improper. So, on a balance, I am inclined to support the title statement.

Nonmainstream areas of inquiry which, in fact, is rooted deeply in human mind do show an importance in human lives since ancient times. With little knowledge about the world we live in, and the conditions of ourselves, we feel frustrated when thing does not run as we have expected. When looking for the reason of that things, we are confused to find out that they are beyond our abilities to explain, or at least to make any sense. Thus, the nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits come out, the moment our record of civilization comes into being. In fact, everyone has to concede that, they do help us a lot to conquer that rough time, and has its necessity to suvival during the long ensuing period of time.

Moreover, the high-speed development of science, actually, does not release humans, but push us to a more dangerous, hasty, and aimless life. The faster paces, the more confusion, and the less emphasis put on a single person. Without affirmation from others and the world, we feel more upset about ourselves which make further prosperity of these nonmainstream areas. As long as the rooted fear and discomfort exist, nonmainstream areas will never lose the power of controlling our mind, no matter how well established is science, which aimed at solving our problems but actually product more.

Admittedly, nomainstream areas of inquiry have did a myriad of harm toward human beings. It is a shame that they have been used by evil powers, made hundreds of thousands of people got mental diseases, or even suicide. It is also a shame of humans who indeed should to blame. Take the trend of the heresy for example, it more or less tries to use these nonemainsteam areas, and even adds some science knowledge--which also cannot diminish the ridiculous errors of it--to seduce people into wrongdoing. Either the misleading people or the nonmainstream areas of inquiry are innocent. Thus, the original intention of such nonmainsteam areas is harmless, but just mishandled.     

To conclude, nonmainstream areas of inquiry, play a vital role in ancient times, and what is more, they do play and will play more important role in modern society since the fear grasping us does not extinct, but seems gained more with our growing unconscious about ourselves, the people around us, and the world.

[ Last edited by purple1228 on 2005-8-12 at 18:41 ]

purple1228UID: 2116196

恩，痛苦啊，感觉今天没状态，终于改完了:L
以下回复几个问题：
1.开头的role和fuction分别照应title的两句话地~
2.第二段是阐述“伪科学”产生的历史必然性的，只是不知道不可替代怎么说...:L
3.第三段要是写多了，怎么就感觉着象愤青了...呵呵，不过实在是没时间所以点的也太少了
4.本来还想在加一段它们带来的好处地，只是那样就太多了，绝对超出我考试时可能的水平了

purple1228UID: 2116196

哦，还有一点就是，题目中并没有讨论nonmainstream的影响是好是坏，所以我觉得没必要一定去涉及到这个方面，当然了，个人观点，欢迎大家再来讨论:lol