issue154 熊熊互拍小组的作业！

sosoUID: 194270

------题目------
Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.
------提纲------
1.教育者的作用.
2.家庭的作用
3.社区和社会的作用

------正文------
With the development of the society, the issue of education has drawn more and more attention. Who should be responsible for the education process of people? In my point of view, not only the professional educators but also the parents and communities are all have their irreplaceable position in the education, as the speaker claims.

To begin with, the professional educators are very important in the education of an individual. The professional educators usually have incomparable advantages in two aspects. Firstly, they have received systematic and professional academical education. With the help of that, the educators are capable of solving problems in their course of teaching. Secondly, the professional have rich experience in contacting with the counterparts who receive education. And the educators are much more familiar with the students' psychological status and sophisticated in handling the problems. Furthermore, children in their school years often spend much more time in school rather than at home. In China, students in high school spend more than 10 hours in school. It is very clearly that the educators' influence is of consequence. Famous educators can give birth to famous students. There are many examples in the history like Aristotle, student of Plato etc.

However, the role of parents can not be ignored. Early education and home education are both issues of great importance. As a child, it is usually the parents who give him or her most education before going to school. The process of early education may bring much more impact on an individual than the education received in later several dozen years. Thanks to the parents, children learn how to walk, how to talk and form their earliest view of world. The parents teach the children not only the basic knowledge of science but also how to make themselves a nice, honest person. Many successful people owe their accomplishments to the influence of their parents. Madam Curie's daughter, winner of Nobel Prize always recall the help her mother offered in the way of searching for the truth.

Furthermore, the communities and even the whole society are also responsible for the education. As a community, it provides an elemental social environment for a child. Students can learn a lot from the communities which are not taught in the school. The children learn how to communicate with different people, and more importantly they learn their responsibility and obligation for the society which benefit a lot in the course of growing up. And from a larger scale the whole society can not be neglected. Though the school is often comparable to the ivory tower, the students are inevitably contact with the society. In the era of much abundant information, the children receive variety of information from the mass media. Improper information may mislead people to the wrong way in their lives. The society, in every moment, are influence its members in their points of values and other aspects. So the society should realize its role as an educator and play a positive role.

To sum up, professional educators, parents, communities and societies are all element of high importance in the process of education. Only when each of them takes proper responsibilities can our education be more successful.
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欢迎互拍

neo_athrunUID: 2111270

With the development of the society, the issue of education has drawn more and more attention. Who should be responsible for the education process of people? In my point of view, not only the professional educators but also the parents and communities are all are have?have their irreplaceable position in the education, as the speaker claims.

To begin with, the professional educators are very important in the education of an individual. The professional educatorsThey 就可以了吧？重复了点 usually have incomparable advantages in two aspects. Firstly, they have received systematic and professional academical education. With the help of that写成定于从句就更好看了~, the educators are capable of solving problems in their course of teaching. Secondly, the professional have rich experience in contacting with the counterparts who receive education. And the educators are much more familiar with the students' psychological status and sophisticated in handling the problems. Furthermore, children in their school years often spend much more time in school rather than at home. In China, students in high school spend more than 10 hours in schooleveryday. It is very clearly that the educators' influence is of consequence. Famous educators can give birth to famous students.突然之间冒出这么一句，前面似乎没有论证，应该加个副词什么的。 There are many examples in the history like Aristotle, student of Plato etc.职业教育者的论述还缺一点，就是学校在硬件配备上的优势

However, the role of parents can not be ignored. Early education and home education are both issues of great importance. As a child,这个as是不是应该和后面的主语对应呢？ it is usually the parents who give him or her most education before going to school. The process of early education may bring much more impact on an individual than the education received in later several dozen years. Thanks to the parents这个词组我都忘了, children learn how to walk, how to talk and form their earliest view of world. The parents teach the children not only the basic knowledge of science but also how to make themselves a nice, honest person. Many successful people owe their accomplishments to the influence of their parents. Madam Curie's daughter, winner of Nobel Prize always recall the help her mother offered in the way of searching for the truth.应该不止上学前的教育吧~好像你只在论述上学前的家庭教育，题干的意思更多时学龄儿童的教育问题~还有，你是不是没有习惯写段末总结句？:p
Furthermore, the communities and even the whole society are also responsible for the education. As a community,这次和后面的主语就对上了 it provides an elemental social environment for a child. Students can learn a lot from the communities which are not taught in the school. The children learn how to communicate with different people, and more importantly they learn their responsibility and obligation for the society which benefit a lot in the course of growing up. And from a larger scale the whole society can not be neglected. Though the school is often comparable to the ivory tower, the students are inevitably 又一次，are contactcontact with the society. 这个句子逻辑似乎不对~ 转折关系吗？因果吧In the era of much abundant information, the children receive variety of information from the mass media. Improper information may mislead people to the wrong way in their lives.这两句间缺少连接关系似乎~ The society, in every moment, are influenceing its members in their points of values and other aspects. So the society should realize its role as an educator and play a positive role.

To sum up, professional educators, parents, communities and societies are all element of high importance in the process of education. Only when each of them takes proper responsibilities can our education be more successful.倒装！ 好

我的issue154

[ Last edited by neo_athrun on 2005-8-14 at 22:24 ]

sebarinaUID: 2108158

With the development of the society, the issue of education has drawn more and more attention. Who should be responsible for the education process of people? In my point of view, not only the professional educators but also the parents and communities are all have their irreplaceable position in the education, as the speaker claims放在后面觉得稍微有点变扭.

To begin with, the professional educators are very important in the education of an individual. The professional educators usually have incomparable advantages in two aspects可以放到一起说. Firstly, they have received systematic and professional academical education. With the help of that这里不如用定于从句which衔接，意思会更加紧凑, the educators are capable of solving problems in their course of teaching. Secondly, the professional have rich experience in contacting with the counterparts who receive education. And the educators are much more familiar with the students' psychological status and sophisticated in handling the problems. Furthermore, children in their school years often spend much more time in school rather than at home. In China,还是不要提中国吧~in some countries students in high school spend more than 10 hours in school. It is very clearly that the educators' influence is of consequence. Famous educators can give birth to诡异的说法famous students. There are many examples in the history like Aristotle, student of Plato etc.例子太简略，说两句扣扣题比较好
However, the role of parents can not be ignored. Early education and home education are both issues of great importance. As a child, it is usually the parents who give him or her most education before going to school. The process of early education may bring much more impact on an individual than the education received in later several dozen years为啥是dozen. Thanks to the 去掉parents, children learn how to walk, how to talk and form their earliest view of world. The parents teach the children not only the basic knowledge of science but also how to make themselves a nice, honest person. Many successful people owe their accomplishments to the influence of their parents. Madam Curie's daughter, winner of Nobel Prize always recall过去式 the help前面说的是影响，这里不要换成帮助 her mother offered in the way of searching for the truth.

Furthermore, the communities and even the whole society are also responsible for the education. As a community, it provides an elemental social environment for a child. Students can learn a lot from the communities which are not taught in the school. The children learn how to communicate with different people, and more importantly they learn their responsibility and obligation for the society which benefit a lot in the course of growing up定语从句指代不明，逗号隔开吧还能表示指代前面句子. And from a larger scale the whole society还是有点不清晰的指代 can not be neglected. Though the school is often comparable to the ivory tower, the students are inevitably contact with the society. In the era of much abundant information, the children receive variety of information from the mass media. Improper information may mislead people to the wrong way in their lives. The society, in every moment, are influence its members in their points->views of values and other aspects. So the society should realize its role as an educator and play a positive role其实这样写句子不太好并列的谓语中加加了东西不过倒是没有错.

To sum up, professional educators, parents, communities and societies are all element of high importance不太好 in the process of education. Only when each of them takes proper responsibilities can our education be more successful.

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论证显然比我好的多得多~句子结构稍微混乱了一点，大的毛病到时没有
也可能是我困了没看出来:lol

foreveraUID: 202035

With the development of the society, the issue of education has drawn more and more attention. Who should be responsible for the education process of people? In my point of view, not only the professional educators but also the parents and communities are all have their irreplaceable position in the education, as the speaker claims.

To begin with, the professional educators are very important in the education of an individual. The professional educators usually have incomparable advantages 很好in two aspects. Firstly, they have received systematic and professional academical education training好一点. With the help of that, the educators are capable of solving problems in their course of teaching. Secondly, the professional have rich experience in contacting with the counterparts who receive education. And the educators are much more familiar with the students' psychological status and sophisticated in 好handling the problems. 前面说2aspect...这里怎么出来3个了Furthermore, children in their school years often spend much more time in school rather than at home. 最好展开一点In China, students in high school spend more than 10 hours in school. It is very clearly that the educators' influence is of consequence. Famous educators can give birth to famous students. There are many examples in the history like Aristotle, student of Plato etc.

However, the role functionof parents can not be ignored. Early education and home education are both issues of great importance. As a child, it is usually the parents who give him or her most education before going to school. The process of early education may bring much more impact on an individual 这里把impact大体说一下就更好了,抽象一点的叙述就可以than the education received in later several dozen years. Thanks to the parents, children learn how to walk, how to talk and form their earliest view of world. The parents teach the children not only the basic knowledge of science but also how to make themselves a nice, honest person. Many successful people owe their accomplishments to the influence of their parents. Madam Curie's daughter, winner of Nobel Prize always recall the help her mother offered in the way of searching for the truth.

Furthermore, the communities and even the whole society are also responsible for the education. As a community, it provides an elemental social environment for a child. Students can learn a lot from the communities which are not taught in the school. The children learn how to communicate with different people, and more importantly they learn their responsibility and obligation for the society which benefit a lot in the course of growing up.这些更多的是社会的作用而不是community的作用 And from a larger scale the whole society can not be neglected. Though the school is often comparable 用的不准确to the ivory tower 很好, the students are inevitably contact with the society. In the era of much abundant 有问题吧information, the children receive variety of information from the mass media. Improper information may mislead people to the wrong way in their lives. The society, in every moment, are influence its members in their points of values and other aspects. 这一段有点偏离中心吧?So the society should realize its role as an educator and play a positive role.

To sum up, professional educators, parents, communities and societies are all element of high importance in the process of education. Only when each of them takes proper responsibilities can our education be more successful.


还可以..不过有好多地方最好展开说一下...逻辑上稍微有点乱..

俺的144:

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=318644