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[a习作temp] argument39 830拍砖组 14日作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-8-14 19:57:28 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Argument 39
The following appeared in memorandum from the president of Humana College.
"Last year the number of students who enrolled in long-distance degree programs at Omni University increased by 50%. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because instruction in the long-distance programs takes place via interactive video computer connections. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana College has diminished and costs of maintaining building have risen. Thus, to increase enrollment and solve the problem of budget deficits at Humana College, we should initiate and activity promote long-distance degree programs like those at Omni."

提纲:
1.没有证据表明远程学生增加导致费用下降
2.两个学校的可比性没有被提到

看差了,不属于公布的题目,不过也属于高频哦,截至8月12号,8月考了4次

The arguer draws a conclusion that Humana College should initiate and promote long-distance disagree programs in order to increase enrollment and solve the problem of budget deficits which is based on the fact that the increase of students enrolling in long-degree programs and the decrease of expenditure for dormitory and classroom space emerged contemporary However, the argument has the following flaws.

On the one hand, there is no evidence supported that the increase of students enrolling in long-degree programs leads to the fall of expenditure for dormitory and classroom space. The memorandum failed to mention the number of all students which can tell us whether the amount of students increased who did not enroll long-distance degree programs in Omni University which may be crucial to the expenditure above that. If the amount of students decreases who do not include the students of long-distance degree programs, the expenditures of maintaining building would also decreased, generally speaking. It is highly possible that there are some alternative causes for the fall of expenditure. For instance, Omni University improved its management and therefore reduced the relevant costs.

On the other hand, the memorandum failed to take into account the comparability between Omni University and Humana College. Firstly, the popularity of them may be different. If Humana College is less popular, perhaps it lacks the ability of increasing enrollment in long-distance degree programs. Secondly, some causes leading to increasing the cost of maintaining buildings exist, but are not mentioned in the memorandum. Generally speaking, with the decrease of enrollment the relevant cost should also decrease. However, the fact is contrary of that. Perhaps, these causes are special to Homana College.

In sum, the arguer only points out the problem of Humana College and the proposition is unreasoned. We should gain more information on the enrollment and the causes of expenditures of Omni University and the comparability between Omni University and Humana University before a conclusion on Humana College's plan of long-distance degree programs is reached.

[ Last edited by caogenmanchi on 2005-8-15 at 01:08 ]
我是一片云
漂泊不定
我是一阵风
奔跑不止
美丽的女神在远方
我要去追寻
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沙发
发表于 2005-8-14 21:44:32 |只看该作者
把题目也贴一下,另外格式稍稍修改一下,段与段之间有空行,否则看起来很累的。

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板凳
发表于 2005-8-15 10:03:39 |只看该作者
占个座 下午帮你看 呵呵
鼎均 3.17

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地板
发表于 2005-8-15 11:24:19 |只看该作者
理由只写2个可以吗???

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发表于 2005-8-15 15:43:12 |只看该作者
The arguer draws a conclusion that Humana College should initiate and promote long-distance disagree programs in order to increase enrollment and solve the problem of budget deficits which is based on the fact that the increase of students enrolling in long-degree programs and the decrease of expenditure for dormitory and classroom space emerged contemporary However, the argument has the following flaws.
(开头就不给意见了:))
On the one hand, there is no evidence supported that the increase of students enrolling in long-degree programs leads to the fall of expenditure for dormitory and classroom space. The memorandum failed to mention the number of all students which can tell us whether the amount of students increased who did not enroll long-distance degree programs in Omni University which may be crucial to the expenditure above that. (这里有点绕阿,人数就一定直接关系着expenditure吗,要给一些说明吧 要不然看上去根作者的论述就异曲同工了:D)If the amount of students decreases who do not include the students of long-distance degree programs, the expenditures of maintaining building would also decreased, generally speaking. It is highly possible that there are some alternative causes for the fall of expenditure. For instance, Omni University improved its management and therefore reduced the relevant costs.

On the other hand, the memorandum failed to take into account the comparability between Omni University and Humana College. Firstly, the popularity of them may be different. If Humana College is less popular, perhaps it lacks the ability of increasing enrollment in long-distance degree programs. Secondly, some causes leading to increasing the cost of maintaining buildings exist, but are not mentioned in the memorandum. Generally speaking, with the decrease of enrollment the relevant cost should also decrease. However, the fact is contrary of that. Perhaps, these causes are special to Homana College.(这段还好)

两个正文段落确实显得有点不够充实 看看能能不能分三段论述 分别在深入一点 文章总的感觉是没有切中要害 两个主要逻辑错误虽说都找到了 但是展开的没有说服力 要努力啊!!

   In sum, the arguer only points out the problem of Humana College and the proposition is unreasoned. We should gain(这个词是通过努力获取的感觉 换用get learn或者be provided with之类吧) more information on the enrollment and the causes of expenditures of Omni University and the comparability between Omni University and Humana University before a conclusion on Humana College's plan of long-distance degree programs is reached.
鼎均 3.17

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发表于 2005-8-15 15:43:59 |只看该作者
语言上面问题不大 主要是结构 和论证思路 再接再厉 :)
鼎均 3.17

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发表于 2005-8-18 17:49:51 |只看该作者
昨天GTER维护把我的订阅列表给维丢了。还好找到了,呵呵!
我是一片云
漂泊不定
我是一阵风
奔跑不止
美丽的女神在远方
我要去追寻

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RE: argument39 830拍砖组 14日作业 [修改]

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argument39 830拍砖组 14日作业
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