Issue138 快考试了,指点一下，谢谢,互拍~~

阿择菜UID: 2110339

Issue138  第21篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分4秒     549 words
从2005年7月16日1时37分到2005年7月16日2时45分
------题目------
Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------正文------
Most people have an opinion that only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress. I agree this opinion mostly, but everything is not absolute.

As far as my opinion, it possible that success is not prior to the failure.  It is dependent on some occasional accidents. For example, in scientific field, the Newton finds the reason why the apples fell on the floor not fly into the sky, which result in foundation of principle of universal gravitation. Take another for example, Lewis Ranking finds the diffused land in the ocean, when he is on hospital. In a result, he provides the assumption of diffused land and ocean. Accordingly, it is necessary for taking care of our surroundings in our life, especially, the inspiration is rather important to the success.

However, inspiration is founded in the successive hard work. During this process to the success, there are many failures. Through mistakes, people can get a discovery or progress. For instance, the Einstein suffers thousands of mistakes before success, he tries to use variety of materials for the light. In the final, he finds out the tungsten  from thousands of materials. For another example, when we see the sports players such as basketball player, when he has good performances in the games, nevertheless,  he has suffered many pains and failure. Francis Bacon said: "NO pains, no gains", it's true, almost  successful people suffer the pains which the commonplace people is hard to image. Even in the political field, there are many mistakes in the world. Such as china, it is not made clear the situation of economic, the leader makes false that China should develop to the Communism.  Chinese people is in the water and fire from 1960's to 1970'sAs conflict between lower producing ability and the need of people developed, the leader adjusts the policy to develop the producing ability first. And adopting the western country's experiences, the china can have this achievement nowadays. If there is no mistakes in the develop procedure, the leader may not choose the best policy to develop his country. Therefore, we said no failure is hardly success. When  people can absorb experiences from mistakes, but, can avoid the mistake again, we almost get access to the success.

When we face the mistakes or failures, we do not give up. We should convince that the success is almost in our vision. Only we work hard and toward a direction, the success belongs to us.  This is the necessary attitude not only for our work but for our life. We should not be afraid of failures.  Everything has two respects of advantage and disadvantage, even if the mistake or failure also educate us or induce our new creates. For example, when Mrs. Courier makes a search for the physical problem, she fail to solve that problem , while she finds the Radium. Hence, if she faces the failure of origin problem and gives up, she is impossible to get the Nobel Prize and get contribution for people.

In sum, mistakes are rather important than the success in some sense. The success means an end for some subject, while the mistakes can impulse people to research further and practice with diligence. The failure is prior to the success,  and take us more consideration for subject.

foreveraUID: 202035

Most people have an opinion that only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress. I agree this opinion mostly, but everything is not absolute.开头太单薄了,中心意思也没有表达清楚.

As far as my opinion as far as i am concerned, it possible that success is not prior to the failure.  It is dependent on some occasional accidents比较严重的语法错误. For example, in scientific field, the人名不用加the吧 Newton finds the reason why the apples fell on the floor not fly flyinginto the sky, which result resultsin foundation of principle of universal gravitation. Take another for example 没有这种表达形式,another case in point, Lewis Ranking finds the diffused land in the ocean, when he is on hospital. In a result什么意思 , he provides the assumption of diffused land and ocean. Accordingly, it is necessary for taking care of our surroundings in our life, especially, the inspiration is rather important to the success.这些例子和failure没什么直接的联系

However, inspiration is founded in the successive hard work. During this process to the success, there are many failures. Through mistakes, people can get a discovery or progress. For instance, the Einstein suffers thousands of mistakes before success, he tries to use variety of materials for the light. In the final, he finds out the tungsten  from thousands of materials. For another example, when we see the sports players such as basketball player, when he has good performances in the games,                   nevertheless一个句子里面没有必要用这种连接词,因为你前面都是从句..,  he has suffered many pains and failure. Francis Bacon said: "NO pains, no gains", it's true, almost  successful people suffer the pains which the commonplace people is hard to image. Even in the political field, there are many mistakes in the world. Such as china, it is not made clear the situation of economic, the leader makes false 什么意思?that China should develop to the      Communism.  Chinese people is in the water and fire 水深火热是这么说吗?from 1960's to 1970's.As conflict between lower       producing ability and the need of people developed 前后结构不一致, the leader adjusts the policy to develop the producing ability first. And adopting the western country's experiences, the china 瓷器?can have this achievement nowadays. If there is no mistakes in the develop procedure, the leader may not choose the best policy to develop his country. Therefore, we said no failure is hardly success. When  people can absorb experiences from mistakes, but, can avoid the mistake again, we almost get access to the success.

When we face the mistakes or failures, we do not give up. We should convince that the success is almost in our vision. Only we work hard and toward a direction, the success belongs to us.  This is the necessary attitude not only for our work but for our life. We should not be afraid of failures.  Everything has two respects of advantage and disadvantage, even if the mistake or failure also educate us or induce our new creates. For example, when Mrs. Courier makes a search for the physical problem, she fail to solve that problem , while she finds the Radium. Hence, if she faces the failure of origin problem and gives up, she is impossible to get the Nobel Prize and get contribution for people.这一段好象是在重复上面的内容..完全可以不要

In sum, mistakes are rather important than the success in some sense. The success means an end for some subject, while the mistakes can impulse people to research further and practice with diligence. The failure is prior to the success,  and take us more consideration for subject.


楼主的问题比较多...首先是相当严重的语法错误,另外有一些说法在拿不准的情况下尽量不用,因为用错的可能性太大了. 段落之间的结构和层次感也不是很强,例子倒不少但是有的例子很不确切,而且对例子展开的论述也不够...希望再努力了.


我的issue103:
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=319922