issue103 决战830拍砖组 19日作业 同主题高频狂练,请兄弟们狂拍

caogenmanchiUID: 2127136

Issue103  第2篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：44分37秒     413 words

The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives.

Syllabus:
1. the primary sake of the historical study is to find out what had the ancestors done in the past
2. if some studies of history can put forward lessons in history, they are valuable.
3. the extent that a study is relevant to our daily lives can affect its value.

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What is the standard of value for the study of history? The arguer claims that "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives." At first glance, this argument is somewhat reasoned. However, after careful examination I tend to believe that the standard of value for the study of history should take into account at least the following respects.

Firstly, history is one of extremely important parts of one national culture and the primary sake of the historical study is to find out what had the ancestors done in the past. How can we image that one country does not know her history. If a citizen of a country does not learn the history of his or her motherland, he or she will not be pride of his or her motherland and lack the motivation to devote to the motherland and so the country will not be promising. For example, many countries, America included, attach great importance to the education of history. The emphasizing on the historic education asks the study of history sever for the education of history. Thus the standard of value of the historic study should include finding the truths of history.

Secondly, we can draw lots of lessons from history and therefore if some studies of history can put forward lessons in history, they are valuable. Perhaps the famous example on this respect is on Tang Taizong, a great emperor in Tang Dynasty in China. He even said (and I paraphrase):" History can tell us what we should do and what we can not do". He had drawn lots of lessons from history through reading many studies of history and became one of the famous kings in China; Tang Dynasty also became a thriving country. If is a study of history able to benefit the present people and society, why is it not valuable?

Finally, there is no denying that the extent that a study is relevant to our daily lives can affect its value. Suppose that a historic study can directly benefit us and improve the quality of our daily lives, obviously the study is valuable.

Taking into consideration the facts above, I can finally arrive at the conclusion that the valuable standards of historical study include not only the extent that the study is relevant to our daily lives but also the effect on that it help us find the truths of history and draw lessons on history.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-19 at 17:42 ]

林森森UID: 163922

谢谢你帮我看的  其实我写的很慢的  如果时间很充裕还能写好 一紧了就不行  离6分甚至5分还很远   有什么办法提速没啊    等等 我来看你的 ...

caogenmanchiUID: 2127136

Originally posted by 林森森 at 2005-8-19 22:02
谢谢你帮我看的  其实我写的很慢的  如果时间很充裕还能写好 一紧了就不行  离6分甚至5分还很远   有什么办法提速没啊    等等 我来看你的 ...

我觉得你的论证已经能摆脱模版了，用词也很不错，当然我不知道是否Precise

caogenmanchiUID: 2127136

提速就练练打字吧，效果不错的

zhizhiUID: 2123761

What is the standard of value for the study of history? The arguer claims that "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives." At first glance, this argument is somewhat reasoned. However, after careful examination I tend to believe that the standard of value for the study of history should take into account at least the following respects.(argument式的开头 感觉一幅要挑错的架势  这样不符合issue要求的吧  )

Firstly, history is one of extremely important parts of one national culture and the primary sake of the historical study is to find out what had the ancestors done in the past. How can we image that one country does not know her history. If a citizen of a country does not learn the history of his or her motherland, he or she will not be pride of his or her motherland and lack the motivation to devote to the motherland and so the country will not be promising. (太绝对了吧 有点像阿狗中的逻辑错误了 可以换个说法 比如对一个国家和社会的发展不利阿之类的 不要一棒子打死 ）For example, many countries, America included（好像突出强调的感觉 还是including American比较好）, attach great importance to the education of history. The emphasizing on the historic education asks the study of history sever for the education of history. （有点循环论证的感觉 教育 和研究应该互为目的 用一个的必要性去说明另外一个不太合适吧 前面的理由还好 这一句可以换个说法）Thus the standard of value of the historic study should include finding the truths of history.

Secondly, we can draw lots of lessons from history and therefore if some studies of history can put forward lessons in history, they are valuable. Perhaps the famous example on this respect is on Tang Taizong, a great emperor in Tang Dynasty in China. He even said (and I paraphrase):" History can tell us what we should do and what we can not do". He had drawn lots of lessons from history through reading many studies of history and became one of the famous kings in China; Tang Dynasty also became a thriving country. If is a study of history able to benefit the present people and society, why is it not valuable?这一段论证倒是没什么问题 可是没有提到题目重点上面的relevant to our daily lives 来啊 没有指出这段例子到底说明你赞同还是不赞同文章的观点阿

Finally, there is no denying that the extent that a study is relevant to our daily lives can affect its value. Suppose that a historic study can directly benefit us and improve the quality of our daily lives, obviously the study is valuable.

Taking into consideration the facts above, I can finally arrive at the conclusion that the valuable standards of historical study include not only the extent that the study is relevant to our daily lives but also the effect on that it help us find the truths of history and draw lessons on history.

感觉你的语言大好 语言方面只要避免出现argument特征过于明显的词汇就好了 论证结构方面看 我觉得你始终忽略了一个中心就是relevant to our daily lives 前两段都是在说历史的重要性 虽然感觉第一段好像再说 不只是与现实相关才valuable 可是没有明确提出 第二段就更加模糊了 直到第三段才提了一下 而且还没有充分展开 感觉有偏题的嫌疑

当然 以上只是我个人愚见 这篇issue本来就比较难写 呵呵 加油！:)

[ Last edited by zhizhi on 2005-8-20 at 14:22 ]

林森森UID: 163922

------正文------
What is the standard of value for the study of history? The arguer claims that "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."(你怎么能这样抄呢... 改写一下啊...) At first glance, this argument is somewhat  reasoned. However, after careful examination I tend to believe that the standard of value for the study of history should take into account at least the following respects.

Firstly, history is one of extremely important parts of one national culture and the primary sake of the historical study is to find out what had the ancestors done in the past. How can we image that one country does not know her/ its / history. /问号/If a citizen of a country does not learn the history of his or her motherland, he or she will not be pride/pround/ of his or her motherland and lack/lacks/ the motivation to devote to the motherland and so/thus/ the country will not be promising. For example, many countries, America included/including America/, attach great importance to the education of history. The emphasizing on the historic education asks the study of history sever for the education of history. Thus the standard of value of the historic study should include finding the truths of history.

Secondly, we can draw lots of lessons from history and therefore if some studies of history can put forward lessons in history, they are valuable. Perhaps the famous example on this respect is on Tang Taizong, a great emperor in Tang Dynasty in China. He even said (and I paraphrase 呵呵 童林的学生吧):" (可以来个强调巨型)History can tell us what we should do and what we can not do". He had drawn lots of lessons from history through reading many studies of history and became one of the famous kings in/of/ China; Tang Dynasty also became a thriving country. If is a study of history able to benefit the present people and society, why is it not valuable? (每段都有总结很不错 但建议不要用反问结尾)

Finally, there is no denying that the extent that a study is relevant to our daily lives can affect its value. Suppose that a historic study can directly benefit us and improve the quality of our daily lives, obviously the study is valuable.

Taking into consideration the facts above, I can finally arrive at the conclusion that the valuable standards of historical study include not only the extent that the study is relevant to our daily lives but also the effect on that it help us find the truths of history and draw lessons on history.结尾不错.

建议你开头也像末段这样总结一个漂亮的模式出来, 正文中观点很鲜明, 不错. 建议你多注意一下文章中语言的流畅性, 汉翻译英的地方比较明显哦~~  加油!