Issue208 我的第一篇（未限时），欢迎互拍！

meteor18_leeUID: 189655

自己顶一下，RT问问大家限时的感受哦，两天后我也开始限时罗，最后十来天太重要了，考得晚的人大家一起加油哦。

fanfeifeiUID: 2120419

开头结尾很喜欢。不过感觉论证过程中例子表述的有点不当。例子 没有深入分析，而是描述，特别是支持第一个分论点的例子，不用那么长吧，而且李自卸完了要紧扣分论点呀

meteor18_leeUID: 189655

看过的都说正文第一段太拖沓了，因为第一分论点有两个层次，第一个层次又有气候和工作环境两个部分要支持，就写了生活中的例子，就写长了。呵呵，不限时所以开始的一段没谱！感谢指教，大家多说说，个人感觉自己的结构，内容方面的问题比文字问题严重。

霓裳羽衣UID: 196975

First consider the appearance, including the way people look and dress, is often a demand of their climatic and work condition other than a demonstration of their own tastes or individuality.
没有主语

meteor18_leeUID: 189655

Originally posted by 霓裳羽衣 at 2005-8-21 12:37
First consider the appearance, including the way people look and dress, is often a demand of their climatic and work condition other than a demonstration of their own tastes or individuality.
没有 ...

对哦，当时是觉得别扭的，呵呵，不好意思啊，
来改一下：
First consider the appearance, including the way people look and dress, certain outward aspects of people is often a demand of their climatic and work condition other than a demonstration of their own tastes or individuality.
这样行吗？

非常感谢！:$

[ Last edited by meteor18_lee on 2005-8-21 at 15:37 ]

huangdaoUID: 190018

on the other hand 是不是前面要有对应的 on the one hand?

而且你的例子全是中国的 可以换换啊

meteor18_leeUID: 189655

Originally posted by huangdao at 2005-8-21 15:56
on the other hand 是不是前面要有对应的 on the one hand?

而且你的例子全是中国的 可以换换啊

多谢提醒。
主题句的结构上看的老外280的issue203，它的没有on the one hand，就照学了，呵呵。之前的一个多月实在是是混乱，还没积攒多少例子，最后那段有点国际化的例子，考过口译的关系比较熟悉中国的例子，以后多注意，是不是中国的例子不能用的好啊？

预祝杨汊湖成功哦！！回来交流哈！

[ Last edited by meteor18_lee on 2005-8-21 at 16:04 ]

michel_shaoUID: 204704

听新东方的老师说的,尽量不要用中国的例子.

drofrephUID: 2126193

I don't think examples of Chinese life is necessarily improper.

I think so long as it can be easily understand by a foreigner, it is OK.

Those who oppose to choosing Chinese examples, I gues, is just because soemtimes it might cause misunderstanding.

weiweiseuUID: 2121077

正文第一段 楼主过于强调appearance了 其实behavior不是更好表达人们的态度么？ 还有例子太罗嗦了 应该简单些 分析才是正道
关于人的外在和行为是否表现社会价值这个问题 可否分开说呢 总觉得有些可以通过大众的行为得出 有些不行 这样会不会太乱了？

jiajiajiaUID: 2128160

Issue208
"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."

提纲

观点:通过人们的外在和行为考察一个社会的整体价值思想时必须深入全面的考虑

1.First consider the appearance往往反应的是工作性质,场合和自然气候的客观需要,受到这些制约,此时的穿着和行为不能体现个人的志趣
2.on the other hand, if研究一个社会中大多数人的共同的行为可以一定的反映出这个社会的价值.同样,某些少数的个人行为是不能成为判断整个社会的依据的.
3.Furthermore,影响一个社会的ideas and values的因素很多，如传统习惯、社会制度、经济状况，教育水平等.

In the final analysis,结尾,尽管我们了解社会的思想和观念必须观察这个社会人的从外在到行为的表现,但在这个多元化发展的民主和自由发展的当今社会中,必须全面的深入的分析问题,结合其他的信息,分析人的内在,才可能了解社会的思想和观念.

正文

The speaker generalizes that the way people look, dress, and act can reveal their attitudes and interests, and a society's ideas and values can be expressed through observation of its people's appearance and behavior. In my view, while this assertion has merit, it overlooks some respects from which we might draw unilateral even inaccurate conclusions merely by judging people's exterior or conduct.

    First consider the appearance, including the way people look and dress, is often a demand of their climatic and work condition other than a demonstration of their own tastes or individuality. I used to think one of my friends who lived in the city of Beijing was too dainty in external appearance to wear enough sweaters in winter, because in clammy but warmer winter of Wuhan city, I never dare to wear less than three thick knitted sweaters under my puffy camlet coat. But last year when I came to Beijing and lived through the arid winter with central heating almost in every building making the indoor temperature above at least sixteen centigrade degree, the misconception has dispelled for I have experienced by myself that a suit of turtleneck and camlet surcoat is indeed warm enough.（举中国的例子 老外可能不大明白吧？ 不如换成两个美国的地名。这个例子好像有些长了。） Other examples can be found without efforts. Stately atroceruleous uniform is a embodiment of traffic police's crucial post concerning the citizen's possessions and security, while casual and wearable clothes is in request of agrarian people for outdoor works. It is understandable that people dressed for work belies their personal characteristics and interests. Of course, when it is in our spare time, we can choose whatever style of dressing in accord with our favor, economic condition and climate. Thus, this omnifarious style of apparel will make us quite confused at the perplexed fashion sea if we try to tell the society's ideas as a whole.

    On the other hand, mass participated conducts of a society such as lifestyles, manners, habitudes and rituals do disclose the same attitudes towards certain social issues of its people and provide accurate information about its values. For instance, China, the host country of the Olympiad, which has put forth the Whole-People Health-Building Plan for ten years, has won a worldwide recognition of its nation's love of sports and esteem of health. Bearing with all its ethnic groups, no matter large or small, enjoy equality, mutual development and harmony among their people, China also demonstrates its traditional values of peace and humidity eloquently. When the cataclysm broke out in Yangtze River in 1998, the whole nation was motivated by the citizens' good hearts and sense of responsibility to voluntarily engaged in helping the stricken people. This is another evidence of the Chinese virtue that has shown by a mass group of its population. Nevertheless, some people may see many disharmonies in a society and be all adrift in making the panorama of its values. What should be emphasized here is that it is undesirable to have important views of a society's values overshadowed by trivial and minor phenomena. （这个例子我觉得不是太切题。。国家进行全民健身恐怕不是一种个人的行为。）

    Furthermore, we should study a society's ideas and values in an all-round way, which need us to take many other factors into account. Such bases as tradition, social system, economic standard and educational level of a nation are concernful in understanding its people's behaviors and its dominant values. You may not consider many American parents' noninterference in their children's careers as irresponsible if you know the education of the nation attach more importance to independence and creativity. And it is reasonable for Asian parents to spend all their life time in fostering their offsprings owing to the nation's long history of family oriented lifestyles.

    In the final analysis, on this era of increasingly developed society combining both globalization and multi-polarization, only by investigating people's look, dress and act can be misleading on the judgment of a society's values. Efforts should be made in integration of complexities of the issue to attain correct assertions.

语言很不错的说。   
我觉得写得已经很不错了。只是例子的比例压缩一下就好了
我的issue 208
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=324811
argument
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=324445

[ Last edited by jiajiajia on 2005-8-23 at 10:06 ]

batterflyUID: 196681

提纲

观点:通过人们的外在和行为考察一个社会的整体价值思想时必须深入全面的考虑

1.First consider the appearance往往反应的是工作性质,场合和自然气候的客观需要,受到这些制约,此时的穿着和行为不能体现个人的志趣
2.on the other hand, if研究一个社会中大多数人的共同的行为可以一定的反映出这个社会的价值.同样,某些少数的个人行为是不能成为判断整个社会的依据的.
3.Furthermore,影响一个社会的ideas and values的因素很多，如传统习惯、社会制度、经济状况，教育水平等.

In the final analysis,结尾,尽管我们了解社会的思想和观念必须观察这个社会人的从外在到行为的表现,但在这个多元化发展的民主和自由发展的当今社会中,必须全面的深入的分析问题,结合其他的信息,分析人的内在,才可能了解社会的思想和观念.

正文

The speaker generalizes that the way people look, dress, and act can reveal their attitudes and interests, and a society's ideas and values can be expressed through observation of its people's appearance and behavior（最好把句子改一下吧，不要全部和题目一样）. In my view, while this assertion has merit, it overlooks some respects from which we might draw unilateral even inaccurate conclusions merely by judging people's exterior or conduct.

    First consider the appearance, including the way people look and dress, is often a demand of their climatic and work condition other than a demonstration of their own tastes or individuality. I used to think one of my friends who lived in the city of Beijing was too dainty in external appearance to wear enough sweaters in winter, because in clammy but warmer winter of Wuhan city, I never dare to wear less than three thick knitted sweaters under my puffy camlet coat. But last year when I came to Beijing and lived through the arid winter with central heating almost in every building making the indoor temperature above at least sixteen centigrade degree, the misconception has dispelled for I have experienced by myself that a suit of turtleneck and camlet surcoat is indeed warm enough.（这个例子有点长。） Other examples can be found without efforts. Stately atroceruleous uniform is a embodiment of traffic police's crucial post concerning the citizen's possessions and security, while casual and wearable clothes is in request of agrarian people for outdoor works. It is understandable that people dressed for work belies their personal characteristics and interests. Of course, when it is in our spare time, we can choose whatever style of dressing in accord with our favor, economic condition and climate. Thus, this omnifarious style of apparel will make us quite confused at the perplexed fashion sea if we try to tell the society's ideas as a whole.

    On the other hand, mass participated conducts of a society such as lifestyles, manners, habitudes and rituals do disclose the same attitudes towards certain social issues of its people and provide accurate information about its values. For instance, China, the host country of the Olympiad, which has put forth the Whole-People Health-Building Plan for ten years, has won a worldwide recognition of its nation's love of sports and esteem of health. Bearing with all its ethnic groups, no matter large or small, enjoy equality, mutual development and harmony among their people, China also demonstrates its traditional values of peace and humidity eloquently. When the cataclysm broke out in Yangtze River in 1998, the whole nation was motivated by the citizens' good hearts and sense of responsibility to voluntarily engaged in helping the stricken people. This is another evidence of the Chinese virtue that has shown by a mass group of its population. Nevertheless, some people may see many disharmonies in a society and be all adrift in making the panorama of its values. What should be emphasized here is that it is undesirable to have important views of a society's values overshadowed by trivial and minor phenomena.
    Furthermore, we should study a society's ideas and values in an all-round way, which need us to take many other factors into account. Such bases as tradition, social system, economic standard and educational level of a nation are concernful in understanding its people's behaviors and its dominant values. You may not consider many American parents' noninterference in their children's careers as irresponsible if you know the education of the nation attach more importance to independence and creativity. And it is reasonable for Asian parents to spend all their life time in fostering their offsprings owing to the nation's long history of family oriented lifestyles.

    In the final analysis, on this era of increasingly developed society combining both globalization and multi-polarization, only by investigating people's look, dress and act can be misleading on the judgment of a society's values. Efforts should be made in integration of complexities of the issue to attain correct assertions.
从楼主的论点：通过人们的外在和行为考察一个社会的整体价值思想时必须深入全面的考虑，似乎重点应该是偏向反对题目的，b1确实在说明不能体现，但是b2的三分之二却重在说明社会中大多数人的共同的行为可以一定的反映出这个社会的价值，只是在结尾的时候稍微转折了一下，我觉得可以把“一定程度上可以反映”这个观点放在b1，然后来个转折b2,b3都用来说不能反映的原因，这样比较突出楼主的论点。
恩，开头结尾都不错哦
楼主的语言不错哦，比我强多了！！学习ing
第一篇吗？？很不错了，一起加油！！~
:)呵呵，个人意见，仅供参考

[ Last edited by batterfly on 2005-8-24 at 12:50 ]

fishwater00UID: 182063

on the other hand 应该用在转折段前呀

little2UID: 2110333

we should study a society's ideas and values in an all-round way, which need us to take many other factors into account.
后半句好像感觉有点怪怪的。