Issue11 寄托4人组 8.24作业

tangjihedeUID：2107695

Issue10  第4篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托4人组     共用时间：45分0秒     459 words
从2005年7月24日15时48分到2005年7月24日16时45分
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Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
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In such an era of globalization, how to preserve a country's cultural traditions is an issue of vital importance. The speaker in the title statement believes that governments should financially support major cities, where the speaker believes culture traditions are primarily preserved and generated. I will argue, however, neither do cities play a more significant role in culture preservation, nor do they deserve more financial investment than rural areas.

To begin with, rural areas are as important as, if not more than, major cities in culture preservation. It is true that cities have distinctive merits in this project. Owing to the special characters of large cities, many talented traditional artists are attracted to live there and most scholars majored in culture studies reside there, both of whom contribute a lot to ethnic culture. Besides, most cultural museums located in major cities and there is seldom absence of performances with traditional features presenting on the stages of city theatres. Yet the role of rural areas should also not be neglected. As in my country, most splendid arts and rituals originated in rural areas and many of them are still alive only in there. Paper-cut, a traditional Chinese folk art, for example, were one of most important decoration in traditional festivals. With the process of modernization, however, this type of decoration is rarely seen in major cities expect lying in museums; while it is still well kept in rural area, where the modern approach has relatively minute influence. Together with paper cut are tons of other traditional arts facing the same fate. Thus, it is hard to say that cities primarily preserve cultural traditions. Without paying attention to rural areas, these pieces of art might be declined as the modernization increasingly impacts rural areas. It will be a great pity that we lose live traditions in rural areas, and keep dead ones in museums.

Moreover, given that rural areas are also important in cultural preservation, I hold more financial support from the government should be granted to there rather than to major cities, since it is more different for rural areas getting support. In major cities, as we see, traditional artists and cultural institutions can get access to financial aid much more easily. For one thing, most industrials and foundation are in cities. Business giants are more likely to donate money to the city they live in and familiar with. For another, artists living in major cities bear more experience to gain patronage. In the remote rural areas, on the contrary, not so many people know about applying for foundations and they are relatively isolated from public attention. This leads to the tendency is that cultural traditions in cities are more subsidized while rural traditions neglected. Thus, the government should take its responsibility to care about rural areas, transmitting information between the remote areas and large cities, letting more people know about the traditions kept far away, and ensuring these places receive the financial support. Only in this way can both cities and rural areas receive the money they need, and be prosperous together.

In the finally analysis, both major cities and rural areas play an indispensable role in tradition preservation; neither should be neglected. Yet due to the different situations in getting support between them, the government should take the rural areas its top priority to keep the balance: this is my final suggestion.  
563 words.

meautoUID：2116250

zhanzhan~~~

meautoUID：2116250

Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
------正文------
In such an era of globalization, how to preserve a country's cultural traditions is an issue of vital importance. The speaker in the title statement不要in the title statement believes that governments should financially support major cities, where the speaker believes culture traditions are primarily preserved and generated. I will argue, however, neither do cities play a more significant role in culture preservation, nor do they deserve more financial investment than rural areas.
开头写的不错 :P
To begin with, rural areas are as important as, if not more than, major cities in culture preservation. It is true thatadmittedly感觉好些 cities have distinctive meritsadvantages in this project. Owing to the special characters of large cities,什么special characters，列出来。要不干脆不要。 many talented traditional artists are attracted to livedelete to live there and most scholars majored in culture studies reside there,anthropologists和sociologists为什么要住在大城市里啊。。。不明白。 both of whom contribute a lot to ethnic为什么是ethinic啊？ culture. Besides, most cultural museums located in major cities and there is seldom absence of performances with traditional features presenting on the stages of city theatres. Yet the role of rural areas should alsodelete also not be neglected. As in my country, most splendid arts and rituals originated in rural areas and many of them are still alive only in there.这里句子有点怪。。 Paper-cut, a traditional Chinese folk art, for example, wereis one of most important decorations in traditional festivals. With the process of modernization, however, this type of decoration is rarely seen in major cities expect lyinghehe我也不知道这个地方怎么改，but，or unless。。好象 in museums; while whereas it is still well kept in rural area,…influenced by … where the modern approach has relatively minute influence. Together with paper cut are tons of other traditional artsart加S，这里是做技能讲？ facing the same fate. Thus, it is hard to say that cities primarily preserve cultural traditions primarily in cities cultural that are traditions preserved..好象that 又多了. Without paying attention to rural areas, these pieces of art might be declined换个词 as the modernization increasingly impacts rural areas. It will be a great pity that we lose live traditions in rural areas, and keep dead ones in museums.
第一段对大城市的优势可以再分析多一些。完全可以把这一段分成两段写，内容上也够啊
Moreover,直接GIVENgiven that rural areas are also important in cultural preservation, I hold more financial support from the government should be granted todelete to there rather than to major cities, since it is more differentdifficult for rural areas to get support for rural areas getting support. In major cities, as we see, traditional artists and cultural institutions can get access to financial aid much不要much more easily. For one thing,都是B的… most industrialsindustries and foundations are in cities. Business giants are more likely to donate money to the city they live in and familiar with.嘿嘿，顺带帮忙搞个形象代言 For another, artists living in major cities bear换 more experience to gain patronage. In the remote rural areas, on the contrary, not so many people know about applying for foundations and they are relatively isolated from public attention.这是典型的中国状况。如果是国外的话，大城市反而更容易成为文化的沙漠，INTERNET的普及让地域不再成为经验的限制 This leads to the tendencythe trend is that cultural traditions in cities are more subsidized while rural traditions neglected. Thus, the government should take its responsibility to care about rural areas, transmitting 这个词是单方面的吧information between the remote areas and large cities, letting more people know about the traditions kept far away, and ensuring these places receive the financial support. Only in this way can both cities and rural areas receive the money they need, and be prosperousprosper together.
中间再补充下，说大城市的资金足够自给自足了
In the finally analysis, both major cities and rural areas play an indispensable role in tradition preservation; neither should be neglected. Yet due to the different situations in getting support between them, the government should take the rural areas its top priority to keep the balance:后面的就不要了 this is my final suggestion.
恩恩，内容上没有什么问题，语言可以再精练下。
还真能写,大哭特哭~~~

哥哥家有二师兄UID：2124390

看了几篇10, 还是tang写的好些

tangjihedeUID：2107695

1。学者不住在城市么？是县城的学者多还是大城市的学者多？他们会下乡，但不能在乡下定居吧？怪我没说清楚。。。
2。fine arts。 可以加s。各种艺术。
3。 it is hard to say that cities primarily preserve cultural traditions 。that没多啊？你改的也对，就是避免重复换种说法。
4。都是B的…什么？
5。不是吧，纽约是文化的沙漠？芝加哥是？洛杉矶是？
6。多谢对语言的修改。太谢谢了！

bridgewalkerUID：208595

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