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[a习作temp] argument174 寄托4人组 8月24日作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-8-24 18:22:22 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Argument174 The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.
'We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admit men into its programs. It is true that a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. But eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumni who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Keeping the college all-female, therefore, will improve morale among students and convince alumni to keep supporting the college financially.'
------正文------
In this recommendation, the arguer concludes that keeping the college all-female will improve morale among students and convince alumni to sponsor the college financially. However, after a close scrutiny, I find this recommendation unconvincing in several aspects.  

A threshold problem is the survey conducted by the student government, which has opposed co-educations for both female and male students. To ward off the admission for male students, the student government may exaggerate the inconvenience of co-education before the survey is conducted, thus impacts students on their respondence to the issue. If so, the survey could not truly reflect the standpoint of the respondents. Even granted each individual is independent of his or her position when responding the survey, we do not know the specific number of respondents and that of all the current students in the college. If responsive students only take up a small or even negligible part of students as a whole, than the survey might not be representative enough to draw any meaningful conclusion from.

Accordingly, to make any survey meaningful and reliable, survey conductor has to convince us that the respondents are independent in mind and large in number to represent the idea of a general group. This is nowhere more true than on the two surveys directed to students and alumni respectively. Again, unfortunately, the arguer fails to prove that in the second survey, though separate, designed for alumni.

Granted that alumni-oriented survey is methodologically and statistically reliable, the financial support for the college may not necessarily decrease, as implied by the arguer. However, whether the college would admit men into its programs might be one of the many factors leading to alumni support. Faculty's academic researches, student’s school performance, as well as the reputation of the college itself, might all play an important role for alumni's deciding to support the college. Given this possibility, even if the coeducation program were eventually admitted, opposed by more than half of the alumni, people might still be wiling to support the college financially.

Finally, it is presumptuous to assert that all-female education will improve morale among students. After all, the college has never admitted any men into its programs, and consequently, we do not how morale among students in coeducation will be. Without comparisons, the arguer cannot convince me that current programs will improve students' morale, whereas coeducation not.
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沙发
发表于 2005-8-24 18:38:14 |只看该作者
zhan!
"I will act," says Don Quixote, "as if the world were what I would have it to be, as if the ideal were real..."

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板凳
发表于 2005-8-24 19:10:57 |只看该作者
占。
帮我这小马甲看一个。
组员们勿怪。:)
你过去的理想如今已变成工具了

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地板
发表于 2005-8-24 19:20:59 |只看该作者
Argument174 The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.
'We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admit men into its programs. It is true that 【a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation】, [这点你没谈到。可能造成学校的危机。再说,就算学生都不同意也能就听他们的。Faculties作为教育专家更有发言权] arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. But 【eighty percent】 of the students 【responding to a survey】 【conducted by the student government】 wanted the school to remain all female, and 【over half of the alumni who answered a separate survey】 also opposed coeducation. Keeping the college all-female, therefore, will 【improve morale】 among students and convince alumni to keep supporting the college【 financially】[少数校友可能捐的比她们都多。还有,收男生可以赚学费。].'
------正文------
In this recommendation, the arguer concludes that keeping the college all-female will improve morale among students and convince alumni to sponsor the college financially[最好改动一下,不要照抄]. However, after a close scrutiny, I find this recommendation unconvincing in several aspects.  

A threshold problem is [with]the survey conducted by the student government, which has opposed co-educations [for both female and male students这是啥意思?前面不都说co-education了么?]. To ward off[用词很精制] the admission for male students[这么说偏了。你应该上来就说“可能学生会的成员不乐意,比如担心男生进来抢了她们的饭碗,或就是不喜欢男生,所以她们做的调查是靠不住的”], the student government may exaggerate the inconvenience of co-education before the survey is conducted, thus impacts students on their respondence to the issue. If so, the survey could not truly reflect the standpoint of the respondents. Even granted each individual is independent of his[没his] or her position when responding the survey, we do not know the specific number of respondents and that of all the current students in the college. If responsive students only take up a small or even negligible part of students as a whole, than the survey might not be representative enough to draw any meaningful conclusion from.

[Accordingly, to make any survey meaningful and reliable, survey conductor has to convince us that the respondents are independent in mind and large in number to represent the idea of a general group. 车轱辘话留到结尾再说。]This is nowhere more true than on the two surveys directed to students and alumni respectively.[单列一条说另一个survey,最好别混在一起,因为这样无法展开后一个survey的一些特殊之处,比如少部分同意的校友可能都是bill gates(的老婆),人家一个小指头就把财政问题都解决了] Again, unfortunately, the arguer fails to prove that in the second survey, though separate, designed for alumni.

Granted that alumni-oriented survey is methodologically and statistically reliable, the financial support for the college may not necessarily decrease, as implied by the arguer. However, [我上次就问你怎么however了?没看出转折来]whether the college would admit men into its programs might be one of the many factors leading to alumni support. Faculty's academic researches, student’s school performance, as well as the reputation of the college itself, might all play an important role for alumni's deciding to support the college. Given this possibility, [复数]even if the coeducation program were eventually admitted, opposed by more than half of the alumni, people [这里是指谁?校友?好像不是]might still be wiling to support the college financially. [这里你应该强调的是收了男生之后这些方面可能都会提高,保守的校友最后也会接受的。而你没提这个前提,说了很多别的方面不太扣题。]

Finally, it is presumptuous to assert that all-female education will improve morale among students. After all, the college has never admitted any men into its programs, and consequently, we do not[know] how morale among students in coeducation will be. Without comparisons, the arguer cannot convince me that current programs will improve students' morale, whereas coeducation not.[最好还是写个结尾。有几点没说到,我标在题上了。]
"I will act," says Don Quixote, "as if the world were what I would have it to be, as if the ideal were real..."

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发表于 2005-8-24 19:47:27 |只看该作者
早说啊。。。
"I will act," says Don Quixote, "as if the world were what I would have it to be, as if the ideal were real..."

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发表于 2005-8-24 23:38:03 |只看该作者
In this recommendation, the arguer concludes that keeping the college all-female will improve morale among students and convince alumni to sponsor the college financially. [Restate?@_@] However, after a close scrutiny, I find this recommendation unconvincing in several aspects.  

A threshold [这个不是名词么?再@_@下。] problem is the survey conducted by the student government, which has opposed co-educations for both female and male students. [这个。。。] To ward off [记之] the admission for male students, the student government may exaggerate the inconvenience of co-education before the survey is conducted, thus impacts students on their respondence to the issue. If so, the survey could not truly reflect the standpoint of the respondents. Even granted each individual is independent of his or her position when responding the survey, we do not know the specific number of respondents and that of all the current students in the college. If responsive students only take up a small or even negligible part of students as a whole, than the survey might not be representative enough to draw any meaningful conclusion from.
[小问一下。如何知道student government是opposed co-educations的?题目好像没说啊。@_@。我觉得只能是个perhaps吧。。。另外你可以说。参加调查的都是那些如某人般害羞的女生所以调查无代表性。嘿嘿。]

Accordingly, to make any survey meaningful and reliable, survey conductor has to convince us that the respondents are independent in mind and large in number to represent the idea of a general group. This is nowhere more true than on the two surveys directed to students and alumni respectively. Again, unfortunately, the arguer fails to prove that in the second survey, though separate, designed for alumni.
[这第二个调查未免攻得太仁慈了吧。。。而且在body部分就提建议了??你果然是个急性子。。。]

Granted that alumni-oriented survey is methodologically and statistically reliable, the financial support for the college may not necessarily decrease, as implied by the arguer. However, [汗。这是个超个性的转折。。。] whether the college would admit men into its programs might be one of the many factors leading to alumni support. Faculty's academic researches, student’s school performance, as well as the reputation of the college itself, might all play an important role for alumni's deciding to support the college. Given this possibility, even if the coeducation program were eventually admitted, opposed by more than half of the alumni, people might still be wiling to support the college financially.
[这一点找的不大好。而且感觉问题没说透呢。论证没深入进去。]

Finally, it is presumptuous to assert that all-female education will improve morale among students. After all, the college has never admitted any men into its programs, and consequently, we do not [know] how morale among students in coeducation will be. Without comparisons, the arguer cannot convince me that current programs will improve students' morale, whereas coeducation not.
[何不perhaps它几个呢?Perhaps来了男生后女生士气大振天天早上出去跑步减肥。Or maybe因为调查没说真心话然后得知真的不收男生后悔恨得统统suicide。The same is true of。。。。云云。而且你针对最后那个keep supporting。说说如果收了男生后。赚的学费住宿费玫瑰花费婚姻代理费啥的远比那劳什子alumni出的钱多。再云云。]
[Last but not least。你没有结尾?!果然是条真汉子!是因为没时间了么?如果有时间还是写上个吧。毕竟个性不屑于在ETS面前耍啊。]
[HiaHia。宝贝加油啊。你身份公布于世的那天。也就一定是你成功的那天咯。:D]
你过去的理想如今已变成工具了

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发表于 2005-8-24 23:56:21 |只看该作者
我是个汉子!
赶快叫哥哥!

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发表于 2005-8-25 09:21:35 |只看该作者
果然不是一般bt。。。
"I will act," says Don Quixote, "as if the world were what I would have it to be, as if the ideal were real..."

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RE: argument174 寄托4人组 8月24日作业 [修改]
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