issue154 fantasy互拍小组

batterflyUID: 196681

------题目------
Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.
提纲
1 学校教育的重要性
2 家长参与的必要性
3 社区参与的必要性
------正文------

The purpose of education is not only to convey the knowledge and skills to the students, but also to develop the cultivation of novelty, curiosity and so forth. Therefore, I strongly agree that both parents and communities must participate the learning process.

Considering the importance of education, I strongly agree that not only educators but also parents and communities should be involved in the process of learning.
First of all, professional educators play an important role in education, and they can instruct much academic knowledge to student at school. Our ancestor handed down much knowledge to us, and only equipping with them can we make progress and thus resulting in a more developed society. For example, mathematics cultivates students the ability of logical; physics helps students understand the nature of the world; history make students know the story of their ancestor; medicine can heal the illness. On balance, there are great deals of discipline that students should learn from their schools.

However, there are two compelling arguments that student cannot learn only from their teachers. The first thing has to do with the ethic. A qualified citizen should have not only academic knowledge but also a sound mind. Image that if a scientist does not have a sense of ethic, what he or she do may be only in favor of his or her benefits or wishes and thus resulting in some unexpected tragedies. Parents have the responsibility to build the sound ethics of their children. After all, parents are the first teacher of their children, and what the parents do has a far-reaching influence to their children. We do not expect our children are able to comply with the regulations and rules unless they see adults abiding those in the daily life. Think about it, for example, if the parents treat people haughty, it is hard for their children to have good manners. As all parents known, instructing morality is a hard but crucial task, because we expect our children not only health, happy, success but indignity, strong and goodness. All of these cannot be come out automatically, since there is no merit that can transform by gene. They need the great effort of adults.  Thus, parents should participate the learning process to make a good moral example for their children rather than leave the job of child behavioral training to the teachers at school.

The second thing concerns the support from community. Whether the local school is good or not is, to a great extent, depended on the community it belongs to. If the community pays more attention to its local school, the quality of the school may be enhanced increasingly. On contrast, the local school may not develop its effect and thus students are not able to be tap their full potential. For example, the finance that the community applies directly to the local school is of significant importance to the progress of the school. If the community allocates enough money to the local school, the school have more money that it can invest into the lab to improve the equipment and thus students have the better condition in their learning process. Furthermore, communities are the final place to which students must integrate themselves. Communities’ involve contribute a lot to children's growth. For example, if students find that the knowledge their learn in the school can be applied to practical problem in the communities, they may be arouse more interest to further their study. In turn, it may lay a solid foundation of their future. Or else, they may easily loss their way. Thereby, involve of community is effective to students’ study.

In sum, education is too impossible to leave our children solely to educators. Without the participation of parents and communities, it is very likely that our next generation may not have the ability to make our society better. Parents are the first teacher of our children, and can help build children a sound mind. Communities should shoulder the responsibility to finance the local school. Therefore, both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools.
请问大家现在计时练习作文的时候，是先把题目研究了再写，还是完全和考场一样，即使开始的时候才开始思考？
主要是我在写之前习惯先把题目提纲写好，在计时写，这样会不会不好？谢谢
这篇文章限时的时候字数严重不够，嘿嘿，不好意思说
这个版本是写完以后自己改了比较久的，所以不要被字数吓到了，呵呵，不是现场水平哈:)

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-24 at 22:39 ]

meteor18_leeUID: 189655

foreveraUID: 202035

The purpose of education is not only to convey the knowledge and skills to the students, but also to develop the cultivation of novelty, curiosity and so forth.这里没有太大的因果关系。。。说服力不够强。 Therefore, I strongly agree that both parents and communities must participate the learning process.

Considering the importance of education, I strongly agree that not only educators but also parents and communities should be involved in the process of learning.
First of al 后面怎么没有second了？l, professional educators play an important role in education, and they can instruct much academic knowledge to student at school. Our ancestor handed down much knowledge to us, and only equipping with them can we make progress and thus resulting in a more developed society.只说了前人留下的知识，没有说出来这些知识和educator的关系。。。也许父母也能教啊 For example, mathematics cultivates students the ability of logical; physics helps students understand the nature of the world; history make students know the story of their ancestor; medicine can heal the illness. On balance, there are great deals of discipline that students should learn from their schools.这段说的有些浅。。论述的都是一些表面的现象

However, there are two compelling arguments that student cannot learn only from their teachers. The first thing has to do with the ethic.这里最好就说明白一点 A qualified citizen should have not only academic knowledge but also a sound mind. Image that if a scientist does not have a sense of ethic, what he or she do may be only in favor of his or her benefits or wishes and thus resulting in some unexpected tragedies. Parents have the responsibility to build the sound ethics of their children. After all, parents are the first teacher of their children, and what the parents do has a far-reaching influence to their children. We do not expect our children are able to comply with the regulations and rules unless they see adults abiding those in the daily life. Think about it, for example, if the parents treat people haughty, it is hard for their children to have good manners. As all parents known, instructing morality is a hard but crucial task, because we expect our children not only health, happy, success but indignity, strong and goodness. All of these cannot be come out automatically, since there is no merit that can transform by gene. They need the great effort of adults.  Thus, parents should participate the learning process to make a good moral example for their children rather than leave the job of child behavioral training to the teachers at school.感觉这一点有点别扭。。ethic这个词太大了点，后半部分其实只是孩子的早期培养，和ethic直接关系不是太大，而且最开始的一部分论述也似乎有点太大。在论证方面还比较严密

The second thing concerns the support from community. Whether the local school is good or not is, to a great extent, depended on 直接depends on就可以了the community it belongs to . If the community pays more attention to its local school, the quality of the school may be enhanced increasingly. On contrast on the contrary the local school may not develop its effect and thus students are not able to be tap 什么意思？their full potential. For example, the finance that the community applies directly to the local school is of significant importance to the progress of the school. If the community allocates enough money to the local school, the school have more money that it can invest into the lab to improve the equipment and thus students have the better condition in their learning process. Furthermore, communities are the final place to which students must integrate themselves. Communities’ involve contribute a lot to children's growth. For example, if students find that the knowledge their learn in the school can be applied to practical problem in the communities, they may be arouse more interest to further their study. In turn, it may lay a solid foundation of their future. Or else, they may easily loss their way. Thereby, involve of community is effective to students’ study.社会在教授一些书本上学不到的知识方面好象也非常重要啊。

In sum, education is too impossible to leave our children solely to educators. Without the participation of parents and communities, it is very likely that our next generation may not have the ability to make our society better. 结尾就不要在面面俱到了吧Parents are the first teacher of our children, and can help build children a sound mind. Communities should shoulder the responsibility to finance the local school. Therefore, both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools.

总体上说非常不错，不过存在的一个最大的问题。。就是太罗嗦。。。最好论述有重点，主次之分。。。而且最好精简一点。。

有时间看看我的10
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=325483

[ Last edited by forevera on 2005-8-24 at 21:57 ]

batterflyUID: 196681

呵呵，谢谢forevera
我自己也觉得有点罗嗦，可能主要是修改的期间过长，然后看了资料以后都向往里加，又没有精简的缘故，明天再修改一下
1.第一段写的很少是觉得重点应该放在写家长和社会参与的必要性方面，First of all,我觉得是首先的意思，第二段接“ 但是”,确实不太好，要不改成admittedly好了
2.家长的参与的必要性就是说家长必须从小培养小孩子的ethic，可能用morality看着没那么大，：）
3 tap potential 是固定搭配，开发潜质 tap是水龙头的意思，很形象啊，一个人potential就像是水一样需要拧一下，呵呵，我们英语老师说的
4 说实话，我真的不晓得要怎么结尾，只有复述一下啦，加强中~~

[ Last edited by batterfly on 2005-8-25 at 09:52 ]

batterflyUID: 196681

嗯，你的issue10，正在看中，明天发上来：）

flealdaUID: 2118390

今天太晚了,明天帮你看,先占个位子
呵呵

------题目------
Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.
提纲
1 学校教育的重要性
2 家长参与的必要性
3 社区参与的必要性
------正文------

The purpose of education is not only to convey the knowledge and skills to the students, but also to develop the cultivation of novelty, curiosity and so forth. Therefore, I strongly agree that both parents and communities must participate the learning process.

Considering the importance of education, I strongly agree that not only educators but also parents and communities should be involved in the process of learning.
First of all, professional educators play an important role in education, and they can instruct much academic knowledge to student at school. Our ancestor(+s) handed down much knowledge to us, and only equipping with them can we make progress and thus resulting in a more developed society. For example, mathematics cultivates students the ability of logical; physics helps students understand the nature of the world; history make students know the story of their ancestor; medicine can heal the illness. On balance, there are great deals of discipline that students should learn from their schools.(我个人觉得这个论点不是很切题,不过论证的不错,可以放在最后一个论点论述)

However, there are two compelling arguments that student cannot learn only from their teachers. The first thing has to do with the ethic. A qualified citizen should have not only academic knowledge but also a sound mind. Image that if a scientist does not have a sense of ethic, what he or she do may be only in favor of his or her benefits or wishes and thus resulting in some unexpected tragedies. Parents have the responsibility to build the sound ethics of(for) their children. After all, parents are the first teacher of their children, and what the parents do has a far-reaching influence to their children. We do not expect our children are able to comply with the regulations and rules unless they see adults abiding those in the daily life. Think about it, for example, if the parents treat people haughty, it is hard for their children to have good manners. As all parents known, instructing morality is a hard but crucial task, because we expect our children not only health, happy, success but indignity, strong and goodness. All of these cannot be come out automatically, since there is no merit that can transform by gene. They need the great effort of adults.  Thus, parents should participate the learning process to make a good moral example for their children rather than leave the job of child behavioral training to the teachers at school.

The second thing concerns the support from community. Whether the local school is good or not is, to a great extent, depended on the community it belongs to. If the community pays more attention to its local school, the quality of the school may be enhanced increasingly. On contrast, the local school may not develop its effect and thus students are not able to be tap their full potential. For example, the finance that the community applies directly to the local school is of significant importance to the progress of the school. If the community allocates enough money to the local school, the school have more money that it can invest into the lab to improve the equipment and thus students have the better condition in their learning process. Furthermore, communities are the final place to which students must integrate themselves. Communities’ involve contribute a lot to children's growth. For example, if students find that the knowledge their learn in the school can be applied to practical problem in the communities, they may be arouse more interest to further their study. In turn, it may lay a solid foundation of their future. Or else, they may easily loss their way. Thereby, involve of community is effective to students’ study.(这一点说的比较清楚,不错.(觉得这一段写的很顺畅,也比较有逻辑性,如果限了时呢 ?呵呵,楼主工夫不浅啊,加点小例子如何?))

In sum, education is too impossible to leave our children solely to educators. Without the participation of parents and communities, it is very likely that our next generation may not have the ability to make our society better. Parents are the first teacher of our children, and can help build children a sound mind. Communities should shoulder the responsibility to finance the local school. Therefore, both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools

[ Last edited by flealda on 2005-8-26 at 15:02 ]