Issue10 Fantasy互改群8.24

modeuxUID: 2107416

题目：
10、"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."
政府必须保证主要城市用于发展的财政支持，因为国家的文化传统大部分发源于并保留在城市中。

提纲：
1、很多大城市并不需要财政支持来发展文化。
2、对文化进行资助也不是政府的主要职责。
3、许多文化形式更好的保存于乡村和山区，大城市越来越成为各种不同文化融合的舞台。
4、让步，许多国家的文化象征确实存在于大城市，政府当然应该予以保护。

正文：
The author recommends that governments have the responsibility to subsidize the major cities, in which a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated primarily. In my point of view, however, I disagree with the author for the following reasons.

In the first place, many major cities do not have the requirement of financial support for their culture traditions from the governments. Since the culture traditions in these cities have their own attraction and vitality which is sufficient for them to survive and thrive continuously. Taking Beijing Opera or example, as the quintessence of our country, Beijing Opera has well preserved up to the present. Nowadays there are still many people that have great interests in Beijing Opera, not only large numbers of native advocators, but also many foreigners who appreciate the charm of Beijing Opera. It can be predicted that Beijing Opera will keep its prosperity for its intrinsic attraction and value. Therefore, it is not necessary for the governments to subsidize such well-preserved culture traditions.

In the second place, the governments should put more emphasis on many other aspects of the city construction, such as development of economics, health of the residents and stability of the police, rather than financial support for cultural traditions. Since above-mentioned factors are more important, and the premise and the assurance of the prosperity of cultural tradition. For example, simply considering a city with poor economics or poor peace, residents in this city are always anxious about their food, dressing, health or safety, etc. It is obviously impossible for them to take the interests of various culture traditions. Only when they could possess fine economic conditions and social conditions, culture tradition would be appropriate supplements to their high-quality lives. Therefore, the government should distinguish the significance of all the aspects of the city construction and put emphasis on the more important ones.

Further more, many valuable cultural traditions are better preserved in rural areas, rather than urban areas, since the high mdernization and industrializaion in urban areas inevitably undermines the integrity and popularity of some cultural traditions. For example, many folk songs and folk instruments, which are very popular in some rural areas and mountainous areas, it is uncommon for us to find these forms of cultural in modern cities but no one can deny that these cultural traditions also need protection and preservation. Meanwhile, due to the rapid development of globalization and communication, there are much more fusions of various cultural forms than single form of culture in major cities. Thus, it is improper to regard major cities as the cradles of the nation's cultural traditions, but the platform for various culture traditions to understand and communicate with each other.

However, it is no denying that in many countries, the most significant cultural symbols mainly exist in their high-developed major cities. These cultural symbols represent the characteristics of their nation, and from which people could acquire a certain comprehension of the nation's culture, such as Forbidden City and Summer Palace in China's Beijing, Arch of Triumph in France's Paris, and Colosseum in Italy's Rome, etc. The governments indubitably have the responsibility to make great efforts to protect and develop them, which are the spirits and symbols of their countries.

To sum up, due to the above-mentioned reasons, we can finally draw a conclusion that as governors, with the premise of well construction of economics, politics and health, they should properly provide financial support for desirable and valuable cultural traditions, both in urban areas and rural areas.

[ Last edited by modeux on 2005-8-24 at 21:18 ]

flealdaUID: 2118390

耶!!我是沙发!

fancingUID: 208191

楼主的写得太好啦，5555……，我什么时候才能这样呢
个人观点，除了"对文化进行资助也不是政府的主要职责"这点，
我觉得可能会有点点偏题（因为我也想过好久能不能写这一点）
别的都很不错，尤其要学习楼主举例子

flealdaUID: 2118390

The author recommends that governments have the responsibility to subsidize the major cities, in which a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated primarily. In my point of view, however, I disagree with the author for the following reasons.

In the first place, many major cities do not have the requirement of financial support for their culture traditions from the governments. Since the culture traditions in these cities have their own attraction and vitality which is sufficient for them to survive and thrive continuously. Taking Beijing Opera or(for) example, as the quintessence of our country, Beijing Opera has well preserved up to the present. Nowadays there are still many people that have great interests in Beijing Opera, not only large numbers of native advocators, but also many foreigners who appreciate the charm of Beijing Opera. It can be predicted that Beijing Opera will keep its prosperity for its intrinsic attraction and value. Therefore, it is not necessary for the governments to subsidize such well-preserved culture traditions.

In the second place, the governments should put more emphasis on many other aspects of the city construction, such as development of economics, health of the residents and stability of the police, rather than financial support for cultural traditions.(我觉得这个观点有点偏题了) Since above-mentioned factors are more important, and the premise and the assurance of the prosperity of cultural tradition. For example, simply considering a city with poor economics or poor peace, residents in this city are always anxious about their food, dressing, health or safety, etc. It is obviously impossible for them to take the interests of various culture traditions. Only when they could possess fine economic conditions and social conditions, culture tradition would be appropriate supplements to their high-quality lives. Therefore, the government should distinguish the significance of all the aspects of the city construction and put emphasis on the more important ones.

Further more, many valuable cultural traditions are better preserved in rural areas, rather than urban areas, since the high mdernization and industrializaion in urban areas inevitably undermines the integrity and popularity of some cultural traditions. For example, many folk songs and folk instruments, which are very popular in some rural areas and mountainous areas, it is uncommon for us to find these forms of cultural in modern cities but no one can deny that these cultural traditions also need protection and preservation(举这个例子是为了说明什么啊?:confused:). Meanwhile, due to the rapid development of globalization and communication, there are much more fusions of various cultural forms than single form of culture in major cities. Thus, it is improper to regard majors as the cradles of the nation's cultural traditions, but the platform for various culture traditions to understand and communicate with each other(but 后面的这一分句没谓语?)(最后一句话到底在讲什么啊?).

However, it is no denying that in many countries, the most significant cultural symbols mainly exist in their high-developed major cities. These cultural symbols represent the characteristics of their nation, and from which people could acquire a certain comprehension of the nation's culture, such as Forbidden City and Summer Palace in China's Beijing, Arch of Triumph in France's Paris, and Colosseum in Italy's Rome, etc. The governments indubitably have the responsibility to make great efforts to protect and develop them, which are the spirits and symbols of their countries.(如果用most的话这个让步之后会让人产生与作者本意相反的观点,即你支持此说法,所以我觉得这段最好还是放最前面,之后再进行你有力的论述)

To sum up, due to the above-mentioned reasons, we can finally draw a conclusion that as a governor, with the premise of well construction of economics, politics and health, they should properly provide financial support for desirable and valuable cultural traditions, both in urban areas and rural areas

flealdaUID: 2118390

这篇文章有700字没?好象和我的那个差不多长哦
写了多久哈?

modeuxUID: 2107416

大家都这么觉得，我想还是把the second palce去掉吧~~~

另外to flealda：
1、解释一下倒数第三段，例子意思是，很多民间艺术发源于民间流传于民间，大城市很难见得到。后面一句话的意思，我们应该更多的把大城市看作各种文化融合的舞台，而不是单一文化的发源地，我打错字了，major cities打成majors了，不好意思~~~
2、你的意见提的很好，我的让步段写的语气太重了，应该简单的说大城市拥有很多文化象征就可以了，多谢你的意见~~~
3、刚改了你的文章，批的有点多了，不要介意，呵呵~~~

[ Last edited by modeux on 2005-8-24 at 21:07 ]

modeuxUID: 2107416

用word统计了一下，不到600字
时间我没有算，中途还吃了晚饭，前后加起来估计有两个小时了，惭愧~~~

我考试时间比较晚，打算先把语言和结构练好了再开始限时的，不知道方针有没有错~~~

skeptic_liuUID: 2118334

The author recommends that governments have the responsibility to subsidize the major cities, in which a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated primarily. In my point of view, however, I disagree with the author for the following reasons.

In the first place, many major cities do not have the requirement of financial support for their culture traditions from the governments. Since the culture traditions in these cities have their own attraction and vitality which is sufficient for them to survive and thrive continuously. Taking Beijing Opera or example, as the quintessence of our country,Taking Beijing Opera, the quintessence of our country, as an example,which has.... Beijing Opera has well preserved up to the present. Nowadays there are still many people that have great interests in Beijing Opera, not only large numbers of native advocators, but also many foreigners who appreciate the charm of Beijing Opera. It can be predicted that Beijing Opera will keep its prosperity for its intrinsic attraction and value. Therefore, it is not necessary for the governments to subsidize such well-preserved culture traditions.

In the second place, the governments should put more emphasis on many other aspects of the city construction, such as development of economics, health of the residents and stability of the police, rather than financial support for cultural traditions. Since above-mentioned factors are more important, and the premise and the assurance of the prosperity of cultural tradition. For example, simply considering a city with poor economics or poor peace,这么说好像很别扭。。 residents in this city are always anxious about their food, dressing, health or safety, etc. It is obviously impossible for them to take the interests of various culture traditions. Only when they could possess fine economic conditions and social conditions, culture tradition would be appropriate supplements to their high-quality lives. Therefore, the government should distinguish the significance of all the aspects of the city construction and put emphasis on the more important ones.

Further more, many valuable cultural traditions are better preserved in rural areas, rather than urban areas, since the high mdernization and industrializaion in urban areas inevitably undermines the integrity and popularity of some cultural traditions. For example, many folk songs and folk instruments, which are very popular in some rural areas and mountainous areas, it is uncommon for us to find these forms of cultural in modern cities but no one can deny that these cultural traditions also need protection and preservation. Meanwhile, due to the rapid development of globalization and communication, there are much more fusions of various cultural forms than single form of culture in major cities. Thus, it is improper to regard majors as the cradles of the nation's cultural traditions, but the platform for various culture traditions to understand and communicate with each other.文化交流说的不错，但我觉得最好不要降低文化的作用，用这么短的篇幅和common sense过不去有点费劲~~

However, it is no denying that in many countries, the most significant cultural symbols mainly exist in their high-developed major cities. These cultural symbols represent the characteristics of their nation, and from which people could acquire a certain comprehension of the nation's culture, such as Forbidden City and Summer Palace in China's Beijing, Arch of Triumph in France's Paris, and Colosseum in Italy's Rome, etc. The governments indubitably have the responsibility to make great efforts to protect and develop them, which are the spirits and symbols of their countries.

To sum up, due to the above-mentioned reasons, we can finally draw a conclusion that as a governor, with the premise of well construction of economics, politics and health, they should properly provide financial support for desirable and valuable cultural traditions, both in urban areas and rural areas.

结尾不错，呵呵，总体来讲比较清晰，来看看我的
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

fancingUID: 208191

嗯，我今天也思考了一下这个问题，就是让步段放在哪里
我一直认为应该先让步，然后再转折，主要支持的是转折之后的
可是看很多前人列的提纲都把让步段放在所有点的最后
不知道哪种更合理呢

modeuxUID: 2107416

结合楼上各位的意思，我觉得应该把第二个论点拿掉，然后把skeptic_liu说的，文化交流那部分的内容单独写成一段，这样文章结构就更好了，谢过楼上各位咯~~~

fancingUID: 208191

啊？？我一开始还把meanwhile那里看作了另起一段呢
如果那也是倒数第三段的一部分，我觉得最好不要啊

还有，楼主都是怎么打基础的呢，虽然我时间很紧，可是觉得没有语言基础再练下去也不会提高啊。。。

modeuxUID: 2107416

Originally posted by fancing at 2005-8-24 21:13
嗯，我今天也思考了一下这个问题，就是让步段放在哪里
我一直认为应该先让步，然后再转折，主要支持的是转折之后的
可是看很多前人列的提纲都把让步段放在所有点的最后
不知道哪种更合理呢

个人觉得是放在后面咯~~~
考美国人的考试，就迎合美国人的思维吧，忍一忍吧，呵呵~~~

modeuxUID: 2107416

Originally posted by fancing at 2005-8-24 21:16
啊？？我一开始还把meanwhile那里看作了另起一段呢
如果那也是倒数第三段的一部分，我觉得最好不要啊

还有，楼主都是怎么打基础的呢，虽然我时间很紧，可是觉得没有语言基础再练下去也不会提高啊。。。

fancing兄的意思是，同意把那段内容另起一段是吧？

至于怎么打基础~~~
其实我一共写的文章也不多的，加起来不到10篇，文章也还是有很多错误~~~
8.10才开始准备作文，研究了几天范文和模板，才开始动笔写
红宝书我一直带着背的，背的时候有个习惯，就是总结了很多同义词
因为写作文时肯定要换着词表达的~~~
另外可能跟我的专业有关吧，学计算机的，可能逻辑比较严密一些

flealdaUID: 2118390

恩,有个计算机的学长去年10月G考的好棒哦
......我中间没吃饭也花了差不多2个小时写:L
而且我觉得不写那么多道理根本就讲不清楚,写那么多时间又不够...:vomit:

modeuxUID: 2107416

是啊，也在为这个问题发愁呢~~~
现在每天除了作文，verbal完全放下了，
只有单词还带着在背，单词丢几天不背就忘差不多了，sigh~~~
先把作文熬过去吧，考作文前这段时间要是能把单词搞熟点，后面抓紧点应该也是有希望吧~~~
只能这么往好处想咯~~~