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[a习作temp] Argument2 决战830拍砖组™"8月25日作业 同主题高频狂练,请兄弟们狂拍 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-8-25 22:51:57 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Argument2  第28篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
------摘要------
作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间:30分14秒     297words
从2005年7月25日22时26分到2005年7月25日22时30分
------题目------
The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.
'Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting.'
------正文------
In this argument, the arguer concludes that we--Deerhaven Acres should adopt our own set of restictions on landscaping and housepainting. What the arguer analyze in the argument seems reasonable, however, the argument suffers from several fallacies.

In the first place, the arguer fails to convince us that Brookville gained trpled average property values through the restrictions on how the community`s yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. No evidence shows that it is the landscaped community`s yards and the exteriors  colors of homes attract customers to purchase. It is quite possible that reasonable structure of building  meet the needs of customers. It is also possible that  the saleing price of those room attract homesowners thus determine their purchasing. Without ruling out the possibility, the arguer can not draw a further conclusion.

In the second place, the arguer commits a fallacy of false analogy. Granted that  Brookville gained trpled average property values through the restrictions on how the community`s yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted, but there is no guaratee that Deerhaven Acres  should follow what the Brookville had done because there is no guarateen that it would be effective at different place and different time. It is possible that the culture, custome of Deerhaven Acres  is different from those of Brookville thus there are different requirements. Without concerning these factors, what the arguer want to da is arbitrary.

In conclusion, the argument lacks credibility because of the proof quoted in the construe can not lend strong support to what the arguer insist. To convince us, the arguer needs to provide more evidence concerning real reasons that Brookville gained trpled average property values and the details in Deerhaven Acres.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-26 at 11:34 ]
多少事,从来急;天地转,光阴迫;一万年太久,只挣朝夕。
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发表于 2005-8-25 23:38:16 |只看该作者
In this argument, the arguer concludes that we--Deerhaven Acres should adopt our own set of restictions on landscaping and housepainting. What the arguer analyze in the argument seems reasonable, however, the argument suffers from several fallacies.

In the first place, the arguer fails to convince us that Brookville gained trpled average property values through the restrictions on how the community`s yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. No evidence shows that it is the landscaped community`s yards and the exteriors  colors of homes thatattracts customers to purchase. It is quite possible that reasonable structures of building  meet the needs of customers. It is also possible that  the saleing price of those room attract homesowners thus determine their purchasing. Without ruling out the possibilitythese possibilities, the arguer can not draw a further conclusion.
这段的真正意义上的论证只有两个it is possible
In the second place, the arguer commits athe fallacy of false analogy. Granted that  Brookville gained trpled average property values through the restrictions on how the community`s yards should be landscapedand what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted,这么长的一句话最好不要重复这么多次  but there is no guaratee that Deerhaven Acres  should follow what the Brookville had done because there is no guarateen that it would be effective at different place and different time. It is possible that the culture, custome of Deerhaven Acres  is different from those of Brookville thus there are different requirements. Without concerning these factors, what the arguer want to dada 是什么? is arbitrary.
这段只有一个it is possible.
In conclusion, the argument lacks credibility because of the proof quoted in the construe can not lend strong support to what the arguer insist. To convince us, the arguer needs to provide more evidence concerning real reasons that Brookville gained trpled average property values and the details in Deerhaven Acres.
主要问题:写的太少,语言重复,真正的论证太短。一般而言,至少有三段论证,每个段落内部也要有层次。
刚开始写作文不要限时,不然的话养成不好的习惯就不好改了。
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板凳
发表于 2005-8-25 23:38:55 |只看该作者
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RE: Argument2 决战830拍砖组™"8月25日作业 同主题高频狂练,请兄弟们狂拍 [修改]

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Argument2 决战830拍砖组™"8月25日作业 同主题高频狂练,请兄弟们狂拍
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