Argument26 寄托4人组 8-26

bridgewalkerUID：208595

Argument26: 335 words   30 minutes
The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.
'For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
In this argument, the speaker recommends the Saluda School (SS) board to hire Mr.Schade to take charge of its music education programs because of Mr. Schade's success at Steel City High School (SCS). Although the argument bears some merits at a first glance, a careful scrutiny reveals that its reasoning suffers from several critical flaws whish undermine the argument's validity seriously.

To begin with, two evidences sited by the speaker to credit Mr. Schade's success are unconvincing. On the one hand, although Mr.Schade was the music director when SCS won the three regional band competitions, it does not follow that these competition rewards are remarkable. The speaker has not provided any information about how many bands are involved, and the quality of performances of the bands who take part in these regional competitions. If merely few bands attended, and their ability of instrument performance is at a low level, the winner of the competition may not mentionable. Even if the rewards really represent SCS band's success, we cannot purely attribute it to Mr. Shade’s direction. After all, no information shows that SCS band members are directly trained by him. It is quite possible that Mr. Schade is good at management but not at instrument performance. If it is true, SCS band’s success cannot be traced back to the music director's ability alone. On the other hand, no evidence proves us that the improvement of rehearsal facilities and instruments at SCS owes to Mr. Schade. The speaker cannot rule out other possibilities such as alumni's endowments and private companies' patrons which have nothing to do with Mr. Schade.

Secondly, given that Mr.Schade was successful at SCS, the speaker cannot warrant that he will also succeed at SS.  Differences between the two schools might cease Mr. Schade's fortune. For instance, perhaps only too small proportion of SS’s students have interest in music in comparison with SCS, not to mention the talent ones. In addition, the SS might not have music teachers as competent as SCS has. As a result, even if SS was under Mr. Schade's direction, the inferior teaching ability of the teachers might finally lead to his unsuccess.

Last but not least, the task assigned to Mr.Schade at SS might be inappropriate which would result in failure. Mr. Schade’s success at SCS might demonstrate his ability at training bands, however, this is too special and too competitive which is not fit for general music education designed for all students. In general music education, not all students have to participate in instrument performances. All they need are merely common knowledge about music and cultivation of their ability to appreciate musical works to some extent. Thus, Mr. Schade's band-training background might not be suitable to SS's needs, even if he is successful.

In conclusion, the argument is unpersuasive due to flaws listed above. To strengthen its reasoning, the speaker should verify that the SCS band's success is significant and can mainly be attributed to Mr. Schade's direction. Moreover, whether Mr. Schade's successful experience at SCS matches SS's purpose of improving general music education should be found out.

515 words (B3和结尾都是后加的！郁闷！)

tangjihedeUID：2107695

zhan!

tangjihedeUID：2107695

Argument26: 335 words   30 minutes
The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.
'For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and 【during that time】 the school band from Steel City High has won 【three】 regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal【 facilities and musical instruments】 at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. Because of【 such successes 】at Steel City High, the【 Saluda school】 board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the【 entire Saluda school system.' 】
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
In this argument, the speaker recommends the Saluda School (SS)[原文是Saluda school system。] board to hire Mr.Schade to take charge of its music education programs because of Mr. Schade's success at Steel City High School (SCS)[ss 和scs的区别不大，不如用全称]. Although the argument bears some merits at a first glance, a careful scrutiny reveals that its reasoning suffers from several critical flaws whish undermine the argument's validity seriously.

To begin with, two evidences sited by the speaker to credit Mr. Schade's success are unconvincing. On the one hand, although Mr.Schade was the music director when SCS won the three regional band competitions, it does not follow that these competition rewards are remarkable. [我觉得先说可能和他无关，然后说即使有关，这些rewards也没什么了不起的。]The speaker has not provided any information about how many bands are involved, and the quality of performances of the bands who take part in these regional competitions. If merely few bands attended, and their ability of instrument performance is at a low level, the winner of the competition may not mentionable. Even if the rewards really represent SCS band's success, we cannot purely attribute it to Mr. Shade’s direction. After all, no information shows that SCS band members are directly trained by him. It is quite possible that Mr. Schade is good at [management这从何来？] but not at instrument performance. If it is true, SCS band’s success cannot be traced back to the music director's ability alone. On the other hand, no evidence proves us that the improvement of rehearsal facilities and instruments at SCS owes to Mr. Schade. [可以另起一段来说这点。]The speaker cannot rule out other possibilities such as alumni's endowments and private companies' patrons which have nothing to do with Mr. Schade.

Secondly, given that Mr.Schade was successful at SCS, the speaker cannot warrant that he will also succeed at SS.  Differences between the two schools might cease Mr. Schade's fortune. For instance, perhaps only too small proportion of SS’s students have interest in music in comparison with SCS, not to mention the talent[ed] ones. In addition, the SS might not have music teachers as competent as SCS has. As a result, even if SS was under Mr. Schade's direction, the inferior teaching ability of the teachers might finally lead to his unsuccess.

Last but not least, the task assigned to Mr.Schade at SS might be inappropriate which would result in failure. Mr. Schade’s success at SCS might demonstrate his ability at training bands, however, this is too special and too competitive which is not fit for general music education designed for all students. In general music education, not all students have to participate in instrument performances. All they need are merely common knowledge about music and cultivation of their ability to appreciate musical works to some extent. Thus, Mr. Schade's band-training background might not be suitable to SS's needs, even if he is successful.

In conclusion, the argument is unpersuasive due to flaws listed above. To strengthen its reasoning, the speaker should verify that the SCS band's success is significant and can mainly be attributed to Mr. Schade's direction. Moreover, whether Mr. Schade's successful experience at SCS matches SS's purpose of improving general music education should be found out.

515 words (B3和结尾都是后加的！郁闷！)[第一段的第二点可以另起一段，这样分四点说格式上很对称。如果时间不够，我想可以最后写开头，最最的简单一句话就行了。]

[ Last edited by tangjihede on 2005-8-26 at 19:51 ]