issue185 寄托4人组 two天

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Issue185 Scandals whether in politics, academics, or other areas can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
....BODY4是后来加的.MS  BODY1写多了......


In our era characterized by the explosive information, the influence of media is omnipresent. As scandals- whether in politics, academics, or other areas-continuously make headlines of newspapers, daily empirical observations convince me the value of scandals, though they are not without detrimental effects sometimes.

Admittedly, scandals are one of the quickest ways to draw our attention to those otherwise little-discussed problems, on which no speaker or reformer can hardly be as competent. If we cast a look back at achievements of some outstanding historical figures, much of their work, as we would find out, had been devoted to (chronic) issues such as education policies, legitimating regulations, and so forth. Controversial these problems have remained since the first day of their existence, people are to some extent exhausted talking about them everyday. Although some speakers or reformers do touch the surface or deep into some sandals, more often than not, however, many of us deem their words as something pertaining to political games.

But if we turn our attention to scandals, we would see how astounding a power that sandals boast to redirect our attention. By uncovering the truth that seems furthest from what people might have long taken for granted, scandals urge us to take notice of problems in various areas. Take the sexual abuse of Catholic priests for instance. While people have long associated priests with high moral and ethic standards, the outrageous behavior of abusing children innocent soon smashed their ideal images in people's mind. To be sure, scandals are of power as attention-getters, since they always provide a sharp contrast between the hard reality and people's illusion, sometimes too naive or romantic to be true.

Concomitant with the force of scandals is their usefulness to aware as well as alert people to problems that are seldom taken noticed of. A typical example is the current scandal broke out during a singing competition in China. Held on a nationwide scale, the president of the competition was reported months ago to unfairly give the championship to a contestant. This person, as the media later discovered, was backed by a company sponsoring the competition with a large sum of money. Not until this scandal erupted, however, seldom do people call any national competition into question. But now, people in China are growing concerned about the fairness of various competitions, and more scrutiny and superintendence have been called into the process.

(Despite the significant value of scandals, this is not to say their effects are always positive. As there exists people pursuing fame and publicity through whatever means they could take, scandals, unfortunately, have become the tools for them to achieve fame. For instance, there are always people with little celebrity, claiming on television programs their not a normal relationship with popular figures, like superstars in sports, or famed politicians. When the former eventually magnify their names under the help of profit-fuelled media, the reputation of the latter have inevitably been tarnished by sandals. Moreover, what is ironical is that these so-called sandals may have never existed or happened, all of which are fictions made up by the “victims” and some greedy media.)

In conclusion, although scandals are of undeniable usefulness to direct people’s attention to some seldom-discussed yet important problems in our society, we should keep alert its negative role—being taken advantages as tools by people chasing fame.

哥哥家有二师兄UID: 2124390

Issue185 Scandals whether in politics, academics, or other areas can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
....BODY4是后来加的.MS  BODY1写多了......


In our era characterized by the explosive information/ information exposition 见过，这个没见过，不知道准确否。。, the influence of media is omnipresent. As scandals- whether in politics, academics, or other areas-continuously make headlines of newspapers, daily empirical observations convince me the value of scandals/ 感觉你 如果用句子来表达这个更有强调作用，只用一个名词短语不足以突出你的观点/ scandals have a lot of merits, though they are not without detrimental effects sometimes. 除了 那个名词短语，这个开头其他的感觉都比较完美

Admittedly, scandals are one of the quickest ways to draw our attention to those otherwise little-discussed problems, on which no speaker or reformer can hardly be as competent. If we cast a look back at achievements of some outstanding historical figures, much of their work, as we would find out, had been devoted to (chronic) issues such as education policies, legitimating regulations, and so forth. Controversial these problems have remained since the first day of their existence, people are to some extent exhausted talking about them everyday. Although some speakers or reformers do touch the surface or deep into some sandals, more often than not, however, many of us deem their words as something pertaining to political games.

But if we turn our attention to scandals, we would see how astounding a power that sandals boast to redirect our attention. By uncovering the truth that seems furthest from what people might have long taken for granted, scandals urge us to take notice of problems in various areas. Take the sexual abuse of Catholic priests for instance. While people have long associated priests with high moral and ethic standards, the outrageous behavior of abusing children innocent/ innocent children soon smashed their ideal images in people's mind. To be sure, scandals are of power/能否这么用，不确信 as attention-getters, since they always provide a sharp contrast between the hard reality and people's illusion, sometimes too naive or romantic to be true.

Concomitant with词汇量不错 the force of scandals is their usefulness to aware/这个词只做形容词 as well as alert people to problems that are seldom taken noticed of. A typical example is the current scandal broke out/ delete during a singing competition in China. Held/delete on a nationwide scale, the president of the competition was reported months ago to unfairly give the championship to a contestant. This person, as the media later discovered, was backed by a company sponsoring the competition with a large sum of money/ 这个丑闻的描述不够清晰/ In a nationwide competition, the president was disclosed to abuse his power by unfairly giving the championship to one unqualified female contestant because she is from the company sponsoring the competition with a large sum of money . Not until this scandal erupted/ was publicly known, however, seldom do people call any national competition into question. But now, people in China are growing concerned about the fairness of various competitions, and more scrutiny and superintendence have been called into the process/ and call for more scrutiny and superintendence/ 因为前面你 用了人们做主语，这里最好也用主动时态

(Despite the significant value of scandals, this is not to say their effects are always positive. As there exists/exist people pursuing fame and publicity through whatever means they could take, scandals, unfortunately, have become the tools for them to achieve fame. For instance, there are always people with little celebrity, claiming on television programs/ 移到句尾比较好 their not a normal/ special relationship with popular figures, like superstars in sports, or famed / famous politicians. When the former eventually magnify their names under the help of profit-fuelled media, the reputation of the latter have / has inevitably been tarnished by sandals. Moreover, what is ironical is that these so-called sandals may have never existed or happened, all of which are fictions made up by the “victims” and some greedy media.) 这段论证的 很不错哦

In conclusion, although scandals are of undeniable usefulness to direct people’s attention to some seldom-discussed yet important problems in our society, we should keep alert its negative role—being taken advantages as tools by people chasing fame.结尾结的不够好，因为你文章的主体部分你都强调了丑闻的积极作用，但是在结尾你又强调了消极作用，不相对应了
总评：整篇文章的结构没有什么大的问题，论证也很完整充分，很多词汇和句子的使用很恰当，但是美中不足是 有一些比较简单的句子语法错误，写作的时候要稍加注意

[ Last edited by 哥哥家有二师兄 on 2005-8-30 at 18:52 ]

meautoUID: 2116250

谢谢哥哥姐姐:p
帮我改的例子真是好的说
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