issue61 作业#coffee组

黄川UID：2168599

"High-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are actually damaging to society because they suggest that only a few people deserve such recognition."
最高荣誉比如诺贝尔奖实际上是在损害社会，因为这种奖项在暗示只有少数人才配得上这样的荣誉。

提纲 1 不同意作者的看法
2首先high-profile awards 有理正确评价精英和促使他们做出更大的贡献
3 会激励不获奖的人努力奋斗，对社会作贡献
4 社会肯定了奖项的作用
5 胡乱写的
                                                                                      The measure of one individual's merits or achievement, such as Nobel Prize, is essential for society to function. Thus I strongly disagree with the speaker's assertion that high--profile awards are actually damaging to society due to fact that only a few people deserve such recognition. And in my point of view, high---profile awards promote the progress of whole society rather than damaging.

             High--profile awards are the correct and justice form of affirm the great contributions to society of outstanding people. Both in mental level and in material level, elites will attain a great deal of profits. On one hand, in mental level, The one who received the high--profile award undoubtedly will obtain our respect and recognition. From childhood, the unfailing aspiration for success became the part and parcel of our daily life. Spontaneously, we refused to say the words like this: " I am a loser" and so forth. Just the natural desire determines us that we worship successful people and set the example for ourselves. On the other hand, in material level, they will benefit greatly from the awarding committee or the government. As we all know, money is the basic need of all human beings. With the money, they can enjoy a comfortable and pleasurable life. We can see: through issuing such awards, whether in mental level or in material level, the outstanding persons will gain a sense of achievement and engender the affliction to the society, thereby helping to promote the progress of society.

             Not only the winners of high--awards themselves but also their successors advanced the development of society. For one reason or another, individuals, consciously or unconsciously, perceived the influence of elites. And the elites reinforced their personal worth by lecturing, addressing and so forth. Let us turn to the past to consider the lessons of history: Benjamin Franklin was honored as the founder of the United States and received many significant awards. His autobiography took effect on numerous people one generation after another. In the biography, with ample description of his life career, he illustrated the point that only through hard work and perseverance can one person attain success. Unsurprisingly, today American guys, deeply impacted by this viewpoint, were favor of living on one's own rather than relying on family or society. And today we called it American dreams. No one will deny it as a great progress to society.

            Society, by itself, held the positive attitudes rather than censorious attitudes towards the effect of the high--profile awards. As we all know, the development is the source of the progress of society. And the high---profile awards virtually encouraged the development of persons in a narrow scope. So in a wider scope they contributed to the progress of society. For instance, mother Teresa, first received the adoration and recognition of people and society. Then she was awarded the Nobel Prize.

           In sum, high--profile awards can serve as an important catalyst for the progress of society. Only with great encouragement of high-profile awards can a society become more booming.:L:L:L

[ Last edited by 黄川 on 2005-12-21 at 16:07 ]

Cappuccino☆UID：2155660

issue61 作业#coffee组

呵呵~~没有按照作业的格式啊,下次要记得交上提纲哦,这样方便修改


The measure of one individual's merits or achievement, such as Nobel Prize, is essential for society to function. Thus I strongly disagree with the speaker's assertion that high--profile awards are actually damaging to society due to fact that only a few people deserve such recognition. And in my point of view, high---profile awards promote the progress of whole society rather than damaging.

High--profile awards are the correct and justice form of affirm the great contributions to society of outstanding people. Both in mental level and in material level(赞!!从这2个方面来论证很好), elites will attain a great deal of profits. On one hand, in mental level, The one who received the high--profile award undoubtedly will obtain our respect and recognition.(这句话就可以再展开一下. 这句与下面的childhood几乎说的是2个内容,应该注意一下衔接,保持逻辑紧凑) From childhood, the unfailing aspiration for success became the part and parcel of our daily life. Spontaneously, we refused to say the words like this: " I am a loser" and so forth. Just the natural desire determines us that we worship successful people and set the example for ourselves. On the other hand, in material level, they will benefit greatly from the awarding committee or the government. As we all know, money is the basic need of all human beings. With the money, they can enjoy a comfortable and pleasurable life.(感觉那么简单的就结束这个观点了,如果展开或者再举个例子比较好) We can see(总结句用Therefore或Thus比较好吧,这样结构上比较清晰) through issuing such awards, whether in mental level or in material level, the outstanding persons will gain a sense of achievement and engender the affliction to the society, thereby helping to promote the progress of society. (论证思路上的逻辑性不强,建议看看calsunny的作业)

Not only the winners of high--awards themselves but also their successors advanced the development of society. For one reason or another(这样表达是什么意思啊~~是不是我孤陋寡闻,不认识,汗.....), individuals, consciously or unconsciously, perceived the influence of elites. And the elites reinforced their personal worth by lecturing, addressing and so forth. Let us turn to the past to consider the lessons of history: Benjamin Franklin was honored as the founder of the United States and received many significant awards. His autobiography took effect on numerous people one generation after another. In the biography, with ample description of his life career, he illustrated the point that only through hard work and perseverance can one person attain success. Unsurprisingly, today American guys, deeply impacted by this viewpoint, were favor of living on one's own rather than relying on family or society. And today we called it American dreams. No one will deny it as a great progress to society. (这段在说success的问题,是不是有点偏题了? 应该联系到这些success与High-profile awards离不开的,然后再稍微提一下success的问题)

Society, by itself, held the positive attitudes rather than censorious attitudes towards the effect of the high--profile awards. As we all know, the development is the source of the progress of society. And the high---profile awards virtually encouraged the development of persons in a narrow scope. So in a wider scope they contributed to the progress of society. For instance, mother Teresa, first received the adoration and recognition of people and society. Then she was awarded the Nobel Prize.(这也是论证段耶~~怎么就几句话,像结尾试的~~呵呵,结尾段就更草率了)

In sum, high--profile awards can serve as an important catalyst for the progress of society. Only with great encouragement of high-profile awards can a society become more booming.

黄川UID：2168599

首先道歉。没有交上提纲。向大家道歉

黄川UID：2168599

痛哭流涕。求到了第一砖。不容易啊

Cappuccino☆UID：2155660

呵呵~~现在队员们都没有交齐~~等会在分组修改~~
1人给你详改,2人给你略改~~

黄川UID：2168599

感觉很汗的说

Cappuccino☆UID：2155660

请shiel与冰河谷注意修改作文~~~

shielUID：2140229

读下来收获不小,觉得LZ的论证很有条理,结构、语法都挺强的词汇更是丰富的啊. 具体列举了high-prifile awards 带给社会的很多好。
也觉得第4段的论述似乎还不太完整，呵。。。。

向LZ学习，争取更大进步。

[ Last edited by shiel on 2005-12-22 at 14:01 ]

冰河谷UID：2159927

不晓得怎么设置字体颜色，大家交交我吧
总体觉得语言上不是很通顺，逻辑没有怎么看

The measure of one individual's merits or achievement, such as Nobel Prize, is essential for society to  
function. (语法有点不通，measure,to function用词不甚明了)Thus I strongly disagree with the speaker's  
assertion that high--profile awards are actually damaging to society due to（the） fact that only a few  
people deserve such recognition. And in my point of view, high-profile awards promote the progress of whole society rather than (being) damaging（形容词）.

             High--profile awards are the correct and (a) justice（justified） form of affirm the great contributions  
to society of outstanding people. Both in (at the) mental level and in(at the) material level, (the)elites will  
attain a great deal of profits. On one hand, in (at the)mental level, the one who received the high--profile  
award undoubtedly will obtain our respect and recognition. From childhood, the unfailing aspiration for success became the part and parcel of our daily life. Spontaneously, we refused to say the words like : " I am a loser" and so forth. Just the natural desire determines us that we worship successful people and set an example for ourselves. On the other hand, in(at the) material level, they will benefit greatly from the awarding committee or the government. As we all know, money is the basic need of all human beings. With the money, they can enjoy a comfortable and pleasurable life. We can see: through issuing such awards, whether(both) in mental level or in material level, the outstanding persons will gain a sense of achievement and engender the affliction(?) to the society, thereby helping to promote the progress of society.

Not only the winners of high--awards themselves but also their successors advance(d) the development of society. For one reason or another, individuals, consciously or unconsciously, perceived the influence of elites. And the elites reinforced(时态不对吧？) their personal worth by lecturing, addressing and so forth. Let us turn to the past to consider the lessons of history: Benjamin Franklin was honored as the founder of the United States and received many significant awards. His autobiography took(时态不对吧？用词也不对吧？)  effect on numerous people one generation after another. In the biography, with ample description of his life career, he illustrated the point that only through hard work and perseverance can one person attain success. Unsurprisingly, today American guys（太过口语化 ）, deeply impacted by this viewpoint, were favor of living on one's own rather than relying on family or society. And today we called it American dreams. No one will deny it as a great progress to society.

Society, by itself,(?) held(holds) the positive attitudes rather than censorious attitudes towards the effect of the high--profile awards. As we all know, the development is the source of the progress of society. And the high---profile awards virtually encouraged the development of persons in a narrow scope. So in a wider scope they contributed to the progress of society. For instance, mother Teresa, first received the adoration and recognition of people and society, then she was awarded the Nobel Prize.
In sum, high--profile awards can serve as an important catalyst （这个词用得好）for the progress of society. Only with great encouragement of high-profile awards can a society become more booming.
[font=Arial]The measure of one individual's merits or achievement, such as Nobel Prize, is essential for society to

Cappuccino☆UID：2155660

呵呵~~改的不错啊~~冰河谷很努力~~继续加油啊！！！
调颜色:
比如要将"这个词用得好"改成红色,就写上"这个词用得好"