Argument38 终于有了自己的第一篇A，(coffee小组--Espresso)

冰河谷UID: 2159927

逻辑上第一部分基本与我相同，但是注意到了两地的差别和请假理由的真实性，值得学习。
语言上的修改已经尽我所能改了，词汇量较大，单词变化较多，但是语法结构需要多多改进

In this memo the arguer recommends that daily use of Ichthaid, which is a component of fish oil to prevent colds therefore can reduce absenteeism in schools and workplaces. This argument sounds reasonable without further inquiries,? because the information given in the study is quite vague and needs more scrutiny. To support this recommendation the arguer points out that as a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, Ichthaid would protect people of West Meria from colds like fish, then lower the absenteeism caused by colds.

To begin with, the argument rests on the study report that the fish consumption is very high in East Meria, and those people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. But we can not easily conclude that the residents of East Meria are seldom suffered from colds. They are likely to have a rest at home and take the nonprescription drugs instead of going to see a doctor. In addition, there are many other reasons why people in East Meria seldom catch colds other than eating a lot of fish. The climate, the life styles and the habbits, could affect the health condition, eating fish may be just a small part of the causations, and even may be not . Even if we are acknowledged that eating fish is beneficial for preventing colds, the arguer has not given us the solid evidence to support that as a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, Ichthaid is as useful as fish.

Moreover, the conclusion is based on a unfounded presumption that most of absenteeism in schools and workplaces are owing to people afflicted by colds. Without detailed information about the cause of local absenteeism, the deduction is unwarranted. Furthermore, when people take being suffered from colds as the reason for absence, possibly they are feeling uncomfortable because of other diseases. Some times, it is just a pretext for other unacceptable reasons or just because they want to have a rest legally. So even Ichthaid actually help people to prevent colds, it does not reduce the absenteeism in West Meria.

In conclusion, the argument fails to take into account other factors that may affect people catching colds or the absenteeism. The above recommendation lacks credibility because the evidences cited in the analysis do not lend strong support to what the arguer claims. To better evaluate the argument, we need more information regarding the causations for absence, and if eating fish is the main reason why the residents of East Meria seldom catch colds, and other details.

[ Last edited by 冰河谷 on 2005-12-22 at 11:06 ]

黄川UID: 2168599

作文冰河谷改过了。发表一下：在论证上的看法。应该写成5段吧。找出3个逻辑错误。这样比较好一些。

shielUID: 2140229

谢谢...  好好努力的说