Argument137 [Kito组]

@amy@UID: 209096

题目
Argument137 The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.

"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."

翻译：
当前，Mason市很少利用附近的Mason河来进行娱乐活动，尽管对该地区居民的几次调查一直指出他们把水上运动（游泳、垂钓和划船）作为他们最喜欢的娱乐形式。由于曾经存在对于这条河水质的投诉，居民一定是因为他们认为河水不够干净才不在这里活动。但这种情况就会改变了：我们地区负责河流管理的部门公布了澄清Mason河的计划。因此，河流的娱乐用途很可能将会增加，因而Mason市的市委有必要增加用于改善Mason河沿岸公共土地的预算。

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提纲
（1）缺乏对居民调查的足够信息；
（2）草率推断居民不在这里活动的原因；
（3）即使澄清了Mason河，也不应就适合开发娱乐项目；
（4）不一定什么时候能够澄清，而且也不一定要增加沿岸公共土地的预算。

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字数：421 words
时间：40分钟
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正文
In this argument, the arguer suggests the Mason City council to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. However, his suggestion suffers several flaws as the following.

First of all, one of the arguer's evidence is the surveys of the region's residents, but he fails to provide necessary information about the surveys, for example, when were the surveys conducted? Who conducted the surveys? Could the respondents represent all the residents? If the surveys were conducted several years ago, it is very likely that the current most favorite form of recreation for the residents has changed and is not water sports. So until the enough information about the surveys is provided to prove that water sports are still preferred by the residents, the surveys' results cannot be strong evidence.

Secondly, the arguer concludes in haste the reason for residents' avoidance the river is that they think the river is not clean enough. Although there have been complaints about the quality of the water, it can prove nothing. It is possible that the complaints occurred several years ago and there has not complaint recently. Consequently, there must be other reasons for residents' activities. It is possible that there is a large water park in Mason City where residents can swim, fish, boat, and have good services, thus they need not go to the Mason River.
Thirdly, even if the river has been cleaned up, it is not certain to suit for recreational use. For such kind of use, the river should be safe enough. If the water in this river is very quick and deep, or there are even crocodiles in the river, it will be very hard to develop recreation projects.

Last but not the least, there is not necessary needs for adding the budget for developing the publicly owned lands. Maybe there have perfect buildings along the river that are enough for recreational use. In addition, although the agency responsible for the rivers has announced plans to clean up Mason River, when will the plan be executed and how long will be used actually are not provided. So when the budget should be increased need to be considered.

To sum up, the arguer's suggestion is too weak to be questioned. To make his suggestion more convincing, he has to take the facets discussed above into account, that is, to survey the genuine reason for residents' apart from the river, whether the river is suitable for recreation use, and whether need to increase the budget.

有意想尽量缩短时间，可还是花了40分钟，觉得边想着快点边写，有些句子都来不及好好组织，先帮我拍拍吧，我再改:(

kito9695UID: 209685

Argument137 Kito组

题目
Argument137 The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.

"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."

翻译：
当前，Mason市很少利用附近的Mason河来进行娱乐活动，尽管对该地区居民的几次调查一直指出他们把水上运动（游泳、垂钓和划船）作为他们最喜欢的娱乐形式。由于曾经存在对于这条河水质的投诉，居民一定是因为他们认为河水不够干净才不在这里活动。但这种情况就会改变了：我们地区负责河流管理的部门公布了澄清Mason河的计划。因此，河流的娱乐用途很可能将会增加，因而Mason市的市委有必要增加用于改善Mason河沿岸公共土地的预算。

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提纲
（1）缺乏对居民调查的足够信息；这里我有一个疑问，题目中只是提了一句调查，并没有说任何调查的细节，那么还可不可以质疑调查的有效性呢？我们每次以调查为漏洞的时候，题目中都会有一些暗示漏洞的语言
（2）草率推断居民不在这里活动的原因；
（3）即使澄清了Mason河，也不应就适合开发娱乐项目；
（4）不一定什么时候能够澄清没想到，学习ing，而且也不一定要增加沿岸公共土地的预算。
还有一个漏洞，就是虽然有了plan未必能够很好地贯彻执行或者收到很好的效果

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字数：421 words
时间：40分钟
**********************************************************
正文
In this argument, the arguer suggests the Mason City council to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. However, his suggestion suffers several flaws as the following.开头简洁明了，不错！我还有疑问，开头虽然不用restate,但是那些论据要不要简要的说一下呢？？

First of all, one of the arguer's evidence is the surveys of the region's residents, but he fails to provide necessary information about the surveys, . Forfor example, when were the surveys conducted? Who conducted the surveys? Could the respondents represent all the residents? If the surveys were conducted several years ago, it is very likely that the current most favorite form of recreation for the residents has changed and is not water sports. So until感觉用unless更有力一些 the enough information about the surveys is provided to prove that water sports are still preferred by the residents, the surveys' results cannot be strong evidence.
恩，看了你的叙述之后觉得，这个漏洞可行了，学习ing

Secondly, the arguer concludes in haste the reason for residents' avoidance the river这个说法有问题 is that they think the river is not clean enough. Although there have been complaints about the quality of the water, it can prove nothing. It is possible that the complaints occurred several years ago and there hasare not complaints recently. Consequently, there must be other reasons for residents' activities.我觉得这句可以去掉，直接接后面的possible，读起来感觉有些别拗，而且不应当用must be既然在质疑argument了，自己怎么能再犯”must”这种主观臆断的错误呢 It is possible that there is a large water park in Mason City where residents can swim, fish, boat, and have good services, thus they need not go to the Mason River恩恩，没想到，学习ing；此外，为了增加文字，说完两个possible之后，可以再来一句总结的话，就像第一段最后一句一样.

Thirdly, even if the river has been cleaned up, it is not certain to suit for recreational use. For such kind of use, the river should be safe enough. If 前面刚用了even if，这里可以用perhaps，it is likely等句式，也便于展开论述，增加篇幅，不然这段虽然很有说服力，但显得有些单薄the water in this river is very quick and deep, or there are even crocodiles in the river, it will be very hard to develop recreation projects.例子想得很好，我也没想到，汗ing，学习

Last but not the least, there is not necessary needs for adding the budget for developing the publicly owned lands.我觉得这句比较严密的表达应该是，增加预算可能是不必要的，因为我们在质疑作者，但事实上，我们也没有充足的证据说明他一定对或错，都是可能性的事 Maybe there have perfect buildings along the river that are enough for recreational use. In addition, 这里突然又说plan的漏洞，转的有些太突兀了，建议在句首的时候可以说还有一些flaws铺垫一下，然后下面再分别叙述although the agency responsible for the rivers has announced plans to clean up Mason River, when will the plan be executed and how long will be used actually are not provided. So when the budget should be increased need to be considered.

To sum up, the arguer's suggestion is too weak to be questioned. To make his suggestion more convincing, he has to take the facets discussed above into account, that is, to survey the genuine reason for residents' apart from the river, whether the river is suitable for recreation use, and whether itneeds to increase the budget.

有意想尽量缩短时间，可还是花了40分钟，觉得边想着快点边写，有些句子都来不及好好组织，先帮我拍拍吧，我再改

恩，我觉得arugment要想限时模版句式必须要固定了，开头结尾就可以再拿到题目的时候马上打出来，还有每一段的开头，不如：Firstly, the major problem in the argument is…等等，至于批驳漏洞的句式也是要固定的，对于surveys怎么批，对于错误的前提怎么批，达到不用想句子，信手拈来的效果，就限时成功了，hohu~~你再试试，模版还是大大有用滴~

今天批得狠了点儿，哈，谁让是amy限时之作呢，表怪啊~

[ 本帖最后由 kito9695 于 2006-1-24 18:52 编辑 ]

@amy@UID: 209096

嘿嘿，谢谢小别~~  我再修改一遍，嘻嘻~~:handshake