issue64

greenlemonUID: 2169154

1，客观原因
A,人们考虑如何成功考虑的太多，对如何利用成功自然有所忽视
B,每个人对成功的定义不同，对如何利用成功的定义当然也就不同,从个人标准去看,很难说是不是最好的利用了成功.
2，主观原因
A,成功有时候会阻碍人们的创新，蒙蔽人们的视线.
B,远大的和崇高的目标和理想能有效的指导人们利用现有的成就去获得更大的成功，或者做有意义的事情。

Most people in the world are eager to attain success, but maybe few of them have paid attention to how to make the best use of it-that is the author's contention, with which I could basically agree.

Admittedly, some objective realities exist in preventing the best utility of those gained success, which is defined as to make more contribution or gain more success.

First, it is the fact that most people focus mainly on the way to gain success rather than think about how to make use of such unassured success. Many of us are taught to be practically to take more effort on the way to get achievement from a ordinary one to a successful one. This conversion is considered as the most important goal in one's life. Now, many of us clearly know the qualities or characteristics to gain success, such as diligence, creation, fearless of failure, the ability to get along with others, a sense of cooperation, etc. Parents and educators focus on the effective means for us to attain success, psychologists and socialists also pay their efforts and attentions on such process. Understandably, one will not worry about sth in dreams, and therefore, generally speaking, before people really attain certain accomplishment, few of them would spend their time and energy on the future use of success.

Second, as the old saying goes, no two leaves are the same, so we cannot deny the fact that different people think differently, as a result, no definition of success and the best use of it can be shared by all the people. Some try to gain success aiming to earn money as much as possible to lead a better life. Some may hold no idea about success but only want to pursue their own interests. And others may stand in the middle, that is, to engage in their favorites as well as earn as much money as they could. When turning to the further use of their achievement, lies the sane situation. Some dream to do more contribution to the society or to some certain group, the poor, the children, or the welfare of others, while some may put their own fames, wealth on the first place. Various attitudes to the world and the value held by different people results different uses of success, and with their own definition, nothing is done with whether people know the best way to utilize the accomplishment.

However, some elements do exist related to the utility of gained success. Even those who hold the definition of success accepted by the public, that to contribute more to the society or to strive for higher goals, can not necessarily make best use of extant success.

Sometimes, success may lay obstacles on the way to next bigger success or more contributions to the society or the development of academy. Success, along with the fame, wealth and public trust, may be too precious to a celebrity or a successful one to hold enough encourage making any break through existing reality to acquire further development. Take Gauss for example, in the long period of establishment of non-Euclidean geometry, he had noticed the problem in the existing theory system, that the fifth postulate cannot be deduced and demonstrated by the other four, but for his positions and fames in the old mathematic field, he dared not to speak out and lend support to those mathematicians who had done some research on the new theory. The similar affairs can be found easily in history. Moreover, great glory brought about by success would hoodwink our eyes, making us addict to it thus losing the strength to strive for further goals.

So, from the subjective aspect, to set long-range goals and to hold lofty ideals are of paramount importance. Many suffer the lack of further plan, for they focus too much on the short-range goals. With the support of great ideals and goals, people would gain more power and strength from one success to another, until they reach the final goals. Such spiritual prompting exerts indispensable influence in best utility of past success or achievements.

In conclusion, considering the distinctions of outlooks, attitudes, definitions of success and the meaning of best utility, as well as individual pursuits, it is hard to judge whether people make the best use of success. While, for those who share the same value, that to make more contributions and strive for more success, it is mostly true that few people know much about it.

[ 本帖最后由 greenlemon 于 2006-2-10 23:10 编辑 ]

collins_liuUID: 190687

Most people in the world are eager to attain success, but maybe few of them have paid attention to how to make the best use of it-that is the author's contention, with（to） which I could basically agree.

Admittedly, some objective realities exist in preventing the best utility of those gained success, which is defined as to make more contribution or gain more success.

First, it is the fact that most people focus mainly on the way to gain success rather than think about how to make use of such unassured success. Many of us are taught to be practically(practical) to take more effort on the way to get achievement (from a ordinary one to a successful one). This conversion is considered as the most important goal in one's life. Now, many of us clearly know the qualities or characteristics to gain success, such as diligence, creation, fearless of failure, the ability to get along with others, a sense of cooperation, etc. Parents and educators focus on the effective means for us to attain success, psychologists and socialists also pay their efforts and attentions on(to) such process. Understandably, one will not worry about sth(something) in dreams, and therefore, generally speaking, before people really attain certain accomplishment, few of them would spend their time and energy on the future use of success.(只是集中在说如何重视达到，没有说如何没有重视利用)

Second, as the old saying goes, no two leaves are the same, so we cannot deny the fact that different people think differently, (and) as a result, no definition of success and the best use of it can be shared by all (the) people. Some try to gain success aiming to earn money as much as possible to lead a better life. Some may hold no idea about success but only want to pursue their own interests. And others may stand in the middle, that is, to engage in their favorites as well as earn as much money as they could. When turning to the further use of their achievement, lies the sane situation. Some dream to do more contribution to the society or to some certain group, the poor, the children, or the welfare of others(前面说的是人群), while some may put their own fames, wealth on the first place. Various attitudes to the world and the value held by different people results (in)different uses of success, and with their own definition, nothing is done with whether people know the best way to utilize the accomplishment.(似乎这段的说理不是很清楚)

Also, some elements do exist related to the utility of gained success. Those who may know how to make the best use as I mentioned before may not act according to their belief.

Sometimes, success may lay obstacles on the way to next bigger success or more contributions to the society or the development of academy. Success, along with the fame, wealth and public trust, may be too precious to(for) a celebrity or a successful one to hold enough encourage making any break through existing reality to acquire further development. Take Gauss for example, in the long period of establishment of non-Euclidean geometry, he had noticed the problem in the existing theory system, that the fifth postulate cannot be deduced and demonstrated by the other four, but for his positions and fames in the old mathematic field, he dared not to speak out and lend support to those mathematicians who had done some research on the new theory. The similar affairs can be found easily in history. Moreover, great glory brought about by success would hoodwink our eyes, making us addict to it thus losing the strength to strive for further goals.

So, from the subjective aspect, to set long-range goals and to hold lofty ideals are of paramount importance. Many suffer the lack of further plan, for they focus too much on the short-range goals. With the support of great ideals and goals, people would gain more power and strength from one success to another, until they reach the final goals. Such spiritual prompting exerts indispensable influence in( on the ) best utility of past success or achievements.（这段的说理逻辑不清）

In conclusion, considering the distinctions of outlooks, attitudes, definitions of success and the meaning of best utility, as well as individual pursuits, it is hard to judge whether people make the best use of success. While, for those who share the same value, that to（？） make more contributions and strive for more success, it is mostly true that few people know much about it.

感觉全文中很多地方的说理不是很清楚。

linda_zhengUID: 2124165

占个位子先，我来改改看:)

greenlemonUID: 2169154

我觉得前边写的太多了,把重点掩盖掉了，结构还要再重视些啊,唉

hchoUID: 204567

1，客观原因
A,人们考虑如何成功考虑的太多，对如何利用成功自然有所忽视
B,每个人对成功的定义不同，对如何利用成功的定义当然也就不同,从个人标准去看,很难说是不是最好的利用了成功.
2，主观原因
A,成功有时候会阻碍人们的创新，蒙蔽人们的视线.
B,远大的和崇高的目标和理想能有效的指导人们利用现有的成就去获得更大的成功，或者做有意义的事情。

Most people in the world are eager to attain success, but maybe few of them have paid attention to how to make the best use of it-that is the author's contention, with which I could basically agree. [我不同意用这样的表达作全文的Main idea，你只是把题目简单的复述了一遍，却没有升华，你同意作者的观点不是你的Main idea，你为什么同意，你同意什么，不同意什么（既然是basically agree肯定有不同意的地方吧）。最起码也该说因为一些主观因素和客观原因，导致人们不会make use of success吧，具体一点，这样也是对后面的一个交待。像你现在这样的写法，跟后面的内容没什么联系。]

Admittedly, some objective realities [objective facts] exist in preventing the best utility of those gained success, which is defined as to make more contribution or gain more success. [the best utility of success 被定义成make more contribution or gain more success，make more contribution有没有考虑个人因素，也就是对自己的benefit？gain more success，你的success的定义又是什么？在这里下了这么重要的定义最好还是解释一下，毕竟这是你的立论基础]

First, it is the fact that most people focus mainly on the way to gain success rather than think about how to make use of such unassured [unsure] success. / Many of us are taught to (be practically to) [practically] take more effort on the way to get achievement from a [an] ordinary one to a successful one. This conversion is considered as the most important goal in one's life [对TS的简单重复，对论证无益，又占字数又费时间]. / Now, many of us clearly know the qualities or characteristics [strategies and skills] to gain success, such as diligence, creation, fearless of failure, the ability to get along with others, a sense of cooperation, etc. Parents and educators focus on the effective means for us to attain success, psychologists and socialists also pay their efforts and attentions on such process [论证教育者把大部分精力都放在了教导如何取得成功上，我们也对如何取得成功了解较深，好，题目的上半句，但我更关心你是如何再转到下半句的]. / Understandably, one will not worry about sth [不能用简写] in dreams, and therefore, generally speaking, before people really attain certain accomplishment, few of them would spend their time and energy on [care for] the future use of success. [从人们know how to attain success如何转到人们know little about how to make use of success？你论证了我们的教育强调了前者，所以我们对前者重视的多，那么我们的教育有没有重视后者呢？如果是忽视的话为什么这里不再简单填几个词来个contrast呢？是不是对前者的重视导致对后者的忽视呢？教育者对后者的忽视是不是导致了学生以后不知道怎么make use了呢？学生是不是也可以自学或通过社会经验get this knowledge呢？没达到成功之前不考虑那么达到成功之后呢？对这些问题的论证我觉得有助于提高你的说服力]

Second [与上段的联系是什么？不能简单的first，second就能完事的，哪怕加入一个插入语提到上面，来个顺接也好], as the old saying goes, no two leaves are the same, so we cannot deny the fact that different people think differently, as a result, no definition of success and the best use of it can be shared by all the people [简化该句，old saying去掉，不是说好不容易想到一个引语，不用太可惜了，你要想到你的时间代价和它对你的逻辑的负面影响，这些成本是高于它吸引人眼球的作用的。你这句的意思就是不同的人有不同观点，你的重点是正是因为如此，thus。。。不同人有不同观点不需要你用old saying 或任何其他语言论证]. Some try to gain success aiming to earn money as much as possible to lead a better life. Some may hold no idea about success but only want to pursue their own interests. And others may stand in the middle, that is, to engage in their favorites as well as earn as much money as they could. When turning to the further use of their achievement, [there] lies the sane situation [sane situation 不懂]. Some dream to do more contribution to the society or to some certain group, the poor, the children, or the welfare of others, while some may put their own fames, wealth on the first place. / Various attitudes to the world and the value held by different people results different uses of success, and with their own definition, nothing is done with whether people know the best way to utilize the accomplishment.[最后一句有语法问题][我不是很明白你这段在全文中的作用，我也写了类似的定义方面的一段，但我的目的是界定清两个定义，为下面的论证提供根据，否则我下面举例XXX make use of success, XXX 没有make use of success就会说不清楚。我也提了每个人都有自己的观点，但这不是我那段的主要目的，我那段的主要目的是：1. 指出有不同标准，也提到了论题的复杂性，2. 把社会公认的对两个概念的理解作为下面论证时评判的依据。但你这里我实在想不出每个人对成功和make use of 成功的理解的不同说明了什么，尤其是最后一句，我读不懂][每个人都有对成功和成功的理解，所以。。。 所以什么呢？所以我们不知道如何利用成功么？太牵强了吧。而且你B1已经有关于make use of success的定义了，这块又来了一大堆，你打算用那个呢？你用它来干什么呢？很难说是不是最好的利用了成功是不是等于know nothing about how to make the best use of success呢？]

However, some elements do exist related to the utility of gained success [不懂，不过看你的提纲我感觉你这里会来个90度大转弯，一下子跳到另一个论点上去。文章的整体性是非常重要的]. Those who may know how to make the best use as I mentioned before may not act according to their belief. [第二句还是不懂]

Sometimes, success may lay obstacles on the way to next bigger success or more contributions to the society or the development of academy. Success, along with the fame, wealth and public trust, may be too precious to a celebrity or a successful one to hold enough encourage making any break through existing reality to acquire further development. Take Gauss for example, in the long period of establishment of non-Euclidean geometry, he had noticed the problem in the existing theory system, that the fifth postulate cannot be deduced and demonstrated by the other four, but for his positions and fames in the old mathematic field, he dared not to speak out and lend support to those mathematicians who had done some research on the new theory. The similar affairs can be found easily in history. Moreover, great glory brought about by success would hoodwink our eyes, making us addict to it thus losing the strength to strive for further goals. [因为我觉得这一段偏的比较严重，所以没仔细看，先和你探讨一下逻辑的问题，你的意思是成功阻碍了我们贡献社会，那么你在这里使用的运用成功的最佳途径的标准是什么？如果是contribute to the society那么1. 你不同人不同想法那段论证不足，2. 不愿和不知道是不是一回事？包括你举的高斯的例子（我猜你是学数学的）也提到高斯是不愿，那么他到底知不知道如果他公开会贡献社会呢？我想无论如何不愿和不知道是两回事，我在举我的文章中举高级白领的例子时也遇到了这个问题，所以我举的是只知工作赚钱，忘记享受生活的白领，而不是迫于生活无奈，有享受生活的愿望却无法实现的白领，前者是不知道，后者是知道但不能，有跑题倾向。如果你的标准是some may put their own fames, wealth on the first place，那么你是根据个人标准，你B1中提出的contribute to the society 就和这个矛盾，你用社会的标准说高斯know little about make use of success（其实你文中是不愿），但按照高斯的个人标准，他很懂得make use，因为他小心翼翼藏起了他的发现来put their own fames, wealth on the first place。我觉得无论如何解释都有一定问题，还请你能自圆其说一下][其实高斯的例子用在其它题目上比较好，我记得还真有题目是可以用这个例子的，一时想不起来了]

So, from the subjective aspect, to set long-range goals and to hold lofty ideals are of paramount importance. Many suffer the lack of further plan, for they focus too much on the short-range goals. With the support of great ideals and goals, people would gain more power and strength from one success to another, until they reach the final goals. Such spiritual prompting exerts indispensable influence in best utility of past success or achievements. [呵呵，从前段时间的作业借鉴下来的吧。不是一段论证只要是相关的论题都可以塞进去的。比如你这里我就完全能肯定你跑题了，你的长期目标就是make use of success,短期目标就是success吗？两者无论如何是不能等同的，何况你这里等同也没等同起来。不是所有的长期goal都是contribute the society，比如我一辈子的理想就是有房有车, 也不是所有的contribute the society都是长期goal，李嘉诚捐了十亿可是一下子就捐掉的阿。同样你也无法证明短期goal是success，success是短期goal。再者，文中说很多人“不知道使用成功”，是个事实性命题，我们的任务是判断对不对，为什么，而不像倾向性命题那样，判断好不好，为什么。而你这里却恰恰犯了这个错误。Know how to make use of success对我们有好处所以我们应该know能证明我们还没有know的事实么？]

In conclusion, considering the distinctions of outlooks, attitudes, definitions of success and the meaning of best utility, as well as individual pursuits, it is hard to judge whether people make the best use of success. While, for those who share the same value, that to make more contributions and strive for more success, it is mostly true that few people know much about it.

我觉得后面的两段跑题比较严重已经能够导致这篇文章的失败的。当然这也是我的个人观点，有些不当之处大家讨论一下了。估计greenlemon是个GG，所以就不客气了。

1. 我不知道你写这篇文章时有没有限时，不过700多字真的算多的了，如果是限时的，那么我建议你宁可少些点，多花点时间整理一下你的思路。字数不是最重要的，把问题说清楚400字也能拿5分，漫无目的的空谈800字也只能得2分。

2. 我读你的文章有一种听政治报告的感觉，一、我们要贯彻落实三个代表，1，2，3 二、贯彻两个务必 1.2.3， 都是空话。虽然条理很清楚，但却是去掉那一块都可以，没有整体性。Issue是十分强调整体性的，真正好的文章是拿掉任何一段读者马上就能发现那里少了一段，整个文章马上就显得不完整。而你这篇文章去了那段我都觉得无所谓。

3. 我们准备这么多题目，这么多论点确实不容易，我也承认一个例子可以在很多题目中使用，但这不代表我们想到什么一看好像有关，就不加分析的拿来用。比如你最后两段我就觉得是从别的地方拿来的，而且根本不能证明论点。不是所有表面上看似相关的的论点都可以拿来用的，要进行分析和取舍，根据是1. 题目.2. 你的论证结构的完整性。题目的表达式一定要分析清楚的，我在给selina改的时候也提到过，为什么题目不直接给请你论述理想主义和实用主义的关系，请你谈谈成功的意义？而是费尽心思的设计出一句话？我总结很多人，包括我，写ISSUE脑袋里一定要明确这一点：就事论事，踏踏实实。

总之，我觉得你的这篇文章太散，太泛，太空。你对ISSUE的理解也可能存在一定误区。我并不是牛人，也没有刻意贬低任何人的意思，只是说说我看完你的文章后的意见。其实我过去何尝没犯过这样的毛病呢？大家一起讨论，尽快提高是最关键的。希望我写的这些对你能有些帮助，毕竟这篇文章我改了近两个小时。希望与你共同进步。

hchoUID: 204567

呵呵，我觉得我打击的太狠了，greenlemon可别恨我啊。其实ISSUE不是深不可测的，只是有时从我们传统的观点出发确实会出问题。就事论事，踏踏实实真的是非常重要的

linda_zhengUID: 2124165

1，客观原因
A,人们考虑如何成功考虑的太多，对如何利用成功自然有所忽视
B,每个人对成功的定义不同，对如何利用成功的定义当然也就不同,从个人标准去看,很难说是不是最好的利用了成功.
2，主观原因
A,成功有时候会阻碍人们的创新，蒙蔽人们的视线.
B,远大的和崇高的目标和理想能有效的指导人们利用现有的成就去获得更大的成功，或者做有意义的事情。

Most people in the world are eager to attain success, but maybe few of them have paid attention[不要用完成时，用现在时就好了，和第一句时态保持一致嘛] to how to make the best use of it-that is[that is后面要加逗号，呵呵，我专门查了一下] the author's contention, with which I could basically agree.

Admittedly, some objective realities exist in preventing the best utility of those gained success, which is defined as to make more contribution or gain more success.

First, it is the fact that most people focus mainly on the way to gain success rather than think about how to make use of such unassured[这个词用在这里想表达什么意思啊？不懂] success. Many of us are taught to be practically to take more effort on the way to get achievement from a[an] ordinary one to a successful one. This conversion is considered as the most important goal in one's life. Now, many of us clearly know the qualities or characteristics to gain success, such as diligence, creation, fearless of failure, the ability to get along with others, a sense of cooperation, etc. Parents and educators focus on the effective means for us to attain success, psychologists and socialists also pay their efforts and attentions on such process. Understandably, one will not worry about sth[不要用简写] in dreams, and therefore, generally speaking, before people really attain certain accomplishment, few of them would spend their time and energy on the future use of success.[这一段论证的不深入，前面有很多篇幅是说人们在获得成功上花的功夫，然后你就转到therefore这句说人们因此没有时间和精力思考怎样利用成功了。但是有一个中间过程就是考虑成功多是不是就等于考虑如何利用成功少呢，在这点上应该在花一点功夫]

Second, as the old saying goes, no two leaves are the same, so we cannot deny the fact that different people think differently, as a result, no definition of success and the best use of it can be shared by all the people. Some try to gain success aiming to earn money as much as possible to lead a better life. Some may hold no idea about success but only want to pursue their own interests. And others may stand in the middle, that is, to engage in their favorites as well as earn as much money as they could[连用了两个as as ，换一下吧，我觉得你的意思是自己的爱好和赚钱兼顾，那么就不是earn as much money as they could 了，还有我觉得你前面把成功和钱等同起来了，这样不大准确吧]. When turning to the further use of their achievement, lies the sane situation[主语，还有same, 呵呵]. Some dream to do more contribution to the society or[and] to some certain group, the poor, the children, or the welfare of others[这个别人的福利是和什么并列的那，前面要不是社会，要不就是一种人，不同等啊], while some may put their own fames, wealth on the first place. Various attitudes to the world and the value held by different people results [不及物动词，加上in]different uses of success, and with their own definition, nothing is done with whether people know the best way to utilize the accomplishment.

However, some elements do exist related to the utility of gained success[改成some elements related to the utility of gained success do exist.]. Those who may know how to make the best use as I mentioned before[改成above] may not act according to their belief[按这个意思在改改吧：和大众认可的成功的定义一样的人也未必会好好利用成功]

Sometimes, success may lay obstacles on the way to next bigger success or more contributions to the society or the development of academy[我发现你喜欢用or,就想我喜欢用and一样，呵呵，有些地方还是要用and的，注意哦]. Success, along with the fame, wealth and public trust, may be too precious to a celebrity or a successful one to hold enough encourage making any break through existing reality to acquire further development. Take Gauss for example, in the long period of establishment of non-Euclidean geometry, he had noticed the problem in the existing theory system, that the fifth postulate cannot be deduced and demonstrated by the other four, but for his positions and fames in the old mathematic field, he dared not to speak out and lend support to those mathematicians who had done some research on the new theory. The similar affairs can be found easily in history. Moreover,[应该是个转折关系吧，前面是肯定的后面是否定的] great glory brought about by success would hoodwink our eyes, making us addict to it thus losing the strength to strive for further goals.

So, from the subjective aspect, to set long-range goals and to hold[改成setting 和 holding] lofty ideals are[是不是该改成is?] of paramount importance. Many suffer the lack of further plan, for they focus too much on the short-range goals. With the support of great ideals and goals, people would gain more power and strength from one success to another, until they reach the final goals. Such spiritual prompting exerts indispensable influence in best utility of past success or achievements.

In conclusion, considering the distinctions of outlooks, attitudes, definitions of success and the meaning of best utility, as well as individual pursuits, it is hard to judge whether people make the best use of success. While, for those who share the same value, that to make more contributions and strive for more success, it is mostly true that few people know much about it.
[有一个问题是我写完以后想到的，这是一道对比题，是不是该在文中多谈一些获得成功和make use of 成功而着难以的比较呢，要是的话，这篇文章就写篇了，我那篇也是，唉]

rabbitvvUID: 2115592

hcho，太崇拜你了！你写的中文要比人家的英文多得多。
greenlemon,我今天改了好几个，没有力气改你的了。明天帮你改新的吧。

greenlemonUID: 2169154

首先谢谢大家的批评指正,小女子在此鞠躬了(hcho,我是gril!  而且不是学数学的,哈哈,都猜错了吧)

hcho first
偶十分十分地感谢你花了那么多那么多时间去看我的文章,确实很多地方都没说清楚
前边两个我是想说,有些客观原因导致了这个问题. 记得有个中国寓言吗,是说两个人为了天上的大雁怎么吃打了起来. 我第一部分是说大家都关注了如何成功,很少人关注成功之后怎么做,是因为还没成功就想成功以后如何如何不切实际
然后第二部分是说每个人定义不同,自然结果不同,没有可比性

然后其实主要部分在第三个部分,其实那部分的主题句写错了,应该是在公众公认的对成功的定义下,人们不一定去好好利用成功,前提是都知道为公众做贡献和追求更高的目标是最好的利用成功.所以才有了高斯那个例子.已经不再把个人的利益作为标准来说了.

最后,是说有远大理想和目标,以及健康的人生观可以帮助我们更好的利用成功,有目标指引就不会因为中途的辉煌而轻易懈怠.恩,所以我觉得说前边罗嗦是真的,后边跑题可能是你没明白我的意图.

hchoUID: 204567

呵呵，其实我评文章时真的是想了又想，先假设你的论证是没有跑题的，然后再看有没有证据证明你没有跑题，如果没有或不确定，才再证明你为什么是跑题的，呵呵，总不能随便冤枉人是把，改别人的文章也要负责不是。

1. 首先我还是坚持我在文章的最后给你提的建议，这不是仅仅对你提的，也是恳请我们所有组员都能注意的，更是对我自己的鞭策。Issue一定要注意整体性，一定要注意逻辑的顺承。写文章时一定要注意论点的选择，不能想写什么就写什么。想到一个好词好句子一定要先确证是否地道，想到一个好例子好名言一定要分析他对文章有没有用。我们写AW一定不要抱炫耀的心情，踏踏实实真的是非常重要的。

2. 好，现在开始谈细节问题。B1， “我第一部分是说大家都关注了如何成功,很少人关注成功之后怎么做,是因为还没成功就想成功以后如何如何不切实际” 没错，我能理解你说的意思，但是你有没有仔细考虑我在B1后提的一系列问题呢？是不是对前者的重视导致对后者的忽视呢？没达到成功之前不考虑，那么达到成功之后呢？我们社会上有还没成功的人也有已经成功的人，就算没有成功的人很少关注成功之后怎么做,是因为还没成功就想成功以后如何如何不切实际，那么已经成功的呢？你怎么证明题目中的few这个问题

3. “然后第二部分是说每个人定义不同,自然结果不同,没有可比性” 什么结果，到底要比什么？要说明什么问题？我想不出这一段和know little about how to make the best use of success有什么关系，你能provide你的逻辑路线么？一步一步来。

4." 其实主要部分在第三个部分,其实那部分的主题句写错了" 注意，如果你花了那么多笔墨在前面还不是你的主要内容那就是失败。好的文章是没有可有可无的部分的。而你认为的最主要的部分的主题句都写错了那岂不是更失败了：〉

5. "应该是在公众公认的对成功的定义下,人们不一定去好好利用成功,前提是都知道为公众做贡献和追求更高的目标是最好的利用成功.所以才有了高斯那个例子.已经不再把个人的利益作为标准来说了" 恩，你这样的解释符合我帮你想的第一种解释（见该段尾）我给你作出的第二个解释是我帮你想的解释，我是想帮你证明你的逻辑的合理性，但就算我比你还多一种解释，我还是解释不清。理由列在上面了，应该比较清楚。

6. "最后,是说有远大理想和目标,以及健康的人生观可以帮助我们更好的利用成功,有目标指引就不会因为中途的辉煌而轻易懈怠" 我解释了我认为你跑题的原因：文中说很多人“不知道使用成功”，是个事实性命题，我们的任务是判断对不对，为什么，而不像倾向性命题那样，判断好不好，为什么。而你这里却恰恰犯了这个错误。Know how to make use of success对我们有好处所以我们应该know能证明我们还没有know的事实么？

我觉得不是我没明白你的意图，是你真的跑了。

呵呵，实在不好意思引用你的话，有点批斗之嫌，但我是绝对没有那个意思的。只是刚才想那么多逻辑累死了，引用无疑是最直接最偷懒的办法。提出了一些观点供lemon MM参考，不当之处也请提出来大家一起讨论阿。