argument71 【米国有米】寒假作业第14天2－9

holdingUID: 2285054

TOPIC: ARGUMENT71 - Copper occurs in nature mixed with other minerals and valuable metals in ore, and the proportion of copper in the ore can vary considerably. Until fairly recently, the only way to extract pure copper from ore was by using a process that requires large amounts of electric energy, especially if the proportion of copper in the ore is low. New copper-extracting technologies can use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore, especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. Therefore, we can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly.

WORDS: 381          TIME: 0:29:18          DATE: 2007-2-9

In this argument, the arguer claims that we can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly with the evidence that new copper-extracting technologies can use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore, especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. The seeming persuasive argument has several logical flaws which could make it unsound at all.

In the first place of analysis, the arguer fails to prove that new copper-extracting technologies are suitable to the local condition. There is no evidence that pointed out the local proportion of copper in the ore is high enough to show the advantage of the new copper-extracting technologies. It is possible that the copper in the ore is low so that the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry could not decline significantly with the new method using.

What's more, the arguer neglects some other elements of the new technologies, which will influence the using range of it. It is obviously that the large range of using new copper-extracting technologies is necessary condition of greatly declining of electricity used be the copper-extraction industry. Firstly, the new technology would reduce the quality of copper extracted. Better quality and purity is the goal of copper-extraction industry. If so, the new copper-extraction industry could not be used by most factories. The second vital precondition is the cost of changing equipments and running them should not be too higher. If the cost of new equipments and daily remanding is too high, most companies would not like to use the new technology. Also, it is possible that the new technology requires high level of employees, which lots of remaining people could not be. In these cases, new technology could not be used in large range of the copper-extraction industry, although it could decline the electricity used by this industry, let alone saving electricity.

To sum up, the arguer draws the conclusion too hasty without considering all aspects which could influent the alteration’s carrying out. To make the conclusion more convincing, the author should point out more evidence which could prove that the new technology is suitable to the local condition and could be used by most factories in the copper-extraction industry.

绚烂夏花UID: 2245298

TOPIC: ARGUMENT71 - Copper occurs in nature mixed with other minerals and valuable metals in ore, and the proportion of copper in the ore can vary considerably. Until fairly recently, the only way to extract pure copper from ore was by using a process that requires large amounts of electric energy, especially if the proportion of copper in the ore is low. New copper-extracting technologies can use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore, especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. Therefore, we can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly.
WORDS: 381          TIME: 0:29:18          DATE: 2007-2-9
In this argument, the arguer claims that we can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly with the evidence that new copper-extracting technologies can use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore, especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. The seeming persuasive argument has several logical flaws which could make it unsound at all.

In the first place of analysis, the arguer fails to prove that new copper-extracting technologies are suitable to the local condition. There is no evidence that pointed out the local proportion of copper in the ore is high enough to show the advantage of the new copper-extracting technologies. It is possible that the copper in the ore is low so that the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry could not decline significantly with the new method using[used].当地的铜矿石的品位这点我没有想到，学学！嗬嗬

What's more, the arguer neglects some other elements of the new technologies, which will influence the using range of it. It is obviously 应该用形容词的哦that the large range of using new copper-extracting technologies is necessary condition of greatly declining of electricity used be the copper-extraction industry.这句话粗眼看过去意思很模糊，细看还是没有看懂……句式可以改一改 Firstly, the new technology would reduce the quality of copper extracted. Better quality and purity is the goal of copper-extraction industry. If so, the new copper-extraction industry could not be used by most factories. The second vital precondition is the cost of changing equipments and running them should not be too higher. If the cost of new equipments and daily remanding is too high, most companies would not like to use the new technology. Also, it is possible that the new technology requires high level of employees, which lots of remaining people could not be. In these cases, new technology could not be used in large range of the copper-extraction industry, although it could decline the electricity used by this industry, let alone saving electricity.这几点可能性很有新意的！

To sum up, the arguer draws the conclusion too hasty without considering all aspects which could influent the alteration’s carrying out. To make the conclusion more convincing, the author should point out more evidence which could prove that the new technology is suitable to the local condition and could be used by most factories in the copper-extraction industry.
攻击有力。还要注意语意表达的准确性