TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】2.1号作业 by cmj

ddcmj519UID: 176326

综合写作。第一次尝试。完全没谱 - -
还望大家指正~
狠拍之吧~

The professor made the point that shortening the workdays from 5 to 4 will not be so beneficial as the article said. And in fact, reducing workdays does have a reverse impact to employees and companies.

First of all, if there is only 4 days to work for the employees, in order to fulfill the order of their guests, the company will have to cost a lot of money on hiring more employees, as they need extra training courses, medical farewell, office spaces and personal computers. Therefore, the company must pay a lot more than the 20 percent money saved from shortening workdays.

What's more, as the company will cost so much on employing, the best choice may be to force workers do as much as 5day's work in their 4day's workday. Overworking of the workers cuts down the pay but increases the chance of costly errors rather than reduce it as the article says.

Furthermore, as workers are only working 4 days a week, their ability of job surely falls down then. Low ability in career at last has its influence on the workers’ life since they are more likely to be fired in economic recession. Then a better life of 4 workdays a week is just a joke for these people.

lijr03UID: 2522963

总的感觉写得非常好，几乎找不到什么毛病，行文流畅，用词合理。有改得不对的地方，还请见谅


The professor made the point that shortening the workdays from 5 to 4 will not be so（粘在Word里so有个下划线，不知道应不应该改成 as） beneficial as the article said. And in fact, reducing workdays does have a reverse impact to employees and companies.



First of all, if there is only 4 days to work for the employees （这句好像不合适）, in order to fulfill the order of their guests, the company will have to cost （spend） a lot of money on hiring more employees, as they need extra training courses, medical farewell, office spaces and personal computers. Therefore, the company must pay a lot more than the 20 percent money saved from shortening workdays.

What's more, as the company will cost so much on employing, the best choice may be to force workers do as much as 5day's work in their 4day's workday. Overworking of the workers cuts down the pay but increases the chance of costly errors rather than reduce it as the article says.


Furthermore, as workers are only working 4 days a week, their ability of job surely falls down then. Low ability in career at last has its influence on the workers’ life since they are more likely to be fired in economic recession (period). Then a better life of 4 workdays a week is just a joke for these people.

好像还有国家的就业率。

有改得不对的地方，还请见谅

ddcmj519UID: 176326

就业率！
忘记写了- - 笔记明明记了的。。

我觉得我犯了个悲剧性的错误，忘了加对比的词。。所以看上去基本没和阅读对比- -
下次注意~

1点50分UID: 2474836

The professor made the point that shortening the workdays from 5 to 4 will not be so beneficial as the article said. And in fact, reducing workdays does have a reverse impact to employees and companies.

First of all, if there is only 4 days to work for the employees(if there is only 4 days' workday for the employees), in order to fulfill the order of their guests, the company will have to cost a lot of money on hiring more employees, as they need extra training courses, medical farewell(welfare 医疗福利), office spaces and personal computers. Therefore, the company must pay a lot more than the 20 percent money saved from shortening workdays.

What's more, as the company will cost so much on employing, the best choice may be to force workers do as much as 5day's(days') work in their 4day's(days') workday. Overworking of the workers cuts down the pay but increases the chance of costly errors rather than reduce it as the article says.

Furthermore, as workers are only working 4 days a week, their ability of job surely falls down then. Low ability in career at last has its influence on the workers’ life since they are more likely to be fired in economic recession periods. Then a better life of 4 workdays a week is just a joke for these people.

我第一次评 也是第一次写 首先感谢你对我作文的认真评改。
很佩服楼主的文章，比我写的好多了。 只是有一点点小问题 就是你说的没有和阅读材料形成对比 还有一些小错误 ，虽然说评分标准允许有错误，但依照楼主的水平如果改掉这些小的错误 那分数肯定没有问题的。 如有异议 请指点我一下 我的水平较低 。
另外请教楼主，我听听力时 没有记下全部的点 请问楼主我应该怎么做呢 ？是继续加强听力 还是？？

ddcmj519UID: 176326

4# 1点50分

额。至少的1、2、3点是必须记下的。其他东西根据内容凭印象补充都可以。
如果1、2、3点没听出来， 反思        1st阅读的点找出来了么？ 2nd是什么原因导致听力没听出来。  
如果是
1st：阅读的点如果整理出来了，听力难度自然减半，因为文章是要指出听力中反驳阅读的观点的总结。那么应该找几篇文章，试着分点，把主要观点找出来。
2nd：语调/语音不适应。找材料多听熟悉即可。
        语速不适应。多练吧。。听的时候，同样要求自己把1、2、3点找出来。