【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 天泽的 第一次作业】

天泽UID: 2340391

Do you agree or disagree? Playing computer games is wasting time; children should not be allowed to play them.

Nowadays computers have already come into many families. Most children play games on computers during their free time. Some of them may play games day and night. But should we forbid every child from playing computer games because of this? I don’t hold this idea.

First of all, it is the time for the children to play since they are children. If a child reads books or does homework all the time without relaxing, he or she will become introverted gradually, which will make them hard to communicate with others when they grow up. I often see parents send their children to learn this or that such as piano or painting and so on. It takes much time and their much money while playing costs much less money and provides more fun.

Now that it’s the time for children to play, then what should they play? I think it depends on the decades of the century. On the ages when our parents were children they really had seldom but things like tops to spin or hoops to twirl. When we were children, only some rich families could afford computer, and therefore few of us had played computer games at that time. Most times we played toys or did sports. But now many families have had computers. It is electronic era now, so as a matter of fact computer games have become the main entertainment for the children. Someone will argue that playing computer games wastes much time. But what if we can get much from it? Can we also consider it as wasting time? Playing computer games usually expands our knowledge subconsciously. For example, when we play Uncharted Water, which is a computer game about voyage and trade, it helps us be more familiar with our Earth. Besides, we must make decisions immediately while playing games, which improve our capacity of reacting. Furthermore, we can make many friends while playing online.

Of course children have many other choices to relax such as doing sports or watching movies. On the other hand, despite the fact that I am for that playing computer games can offer so many benefits for us, I still feel that it should be within certain degree or extent. As we know, everything is a double-bladed paddle, including playing computer games. What we should do is to tell the children how to use time effectively and how to get what they need by playing computer games, instead of forbidding them from playing.

mimicaUID: 2457275

Nowadays computers have already come into many families.（有点中国化？Nowadays many families have already had computers.） Most children play games on computers during(in) their free(spare ) time. Some of them may play games day and night. But should we forbid every child from playing computer games because of this? I don’t hold this idea.

First of all, it is the time for the children to play since they are children. If a child reads books or does homework all the time without relaxing, he or she will become introverted gradually, which will make them
(him/she) hard to communicate with others when they
(和前同理，注意人称一致) grow up. I often see parents send their children to learn this or that such as piano or painting and so on. It takes much time and their（去掉） much money while playing costs much less money and provides more fun.(It takes more time and money than playing, and provides less fun. )

Now that it’s the time for children to play, then what should they play?(和上一段有点重复Additionally, what should children choose to play?)
I think it depends on the decades of the century. On the ages when our parents were children they really had seldom but things like tops to spin or hoops to twirl. When we were children, only some rich families could afford computer, and therefore few of us had played computer games at that time. Most times we played toys or did sports. But now many families have had computers.(以上几句可以去掉吧，文章第一句就已经点出many families have had computers这一大背景，当然是说现在的孩子，似乎没有必要写父母和自己的童年)
It is electronic era now, so as a matter of fact computer games have become the main entertainment for the children. Someone will argue that playing computer games wastes much time. But what if we can get much from it? Can we also consider it as wasting time? (这两句啥意思？But in some sense, we can get great benefit from it.)Playing computer games usually expands our knowledge subconsciously. For example, when we play Uncharted Water, which is(可去掉) a computer game about voyage and trade, it helps us be more familiar with our Earth. Besides, we must make decisions immediately while playing games, which improve（s） our capacity of reacting. Furthermore, we can make many friends while playing online.

Of course children have many other choices to relax such as doing sports or watching movies. On the other hand, despite the fact that I am for that playing computer games can offer so many benefits for us, (despite the fact that playing computer games can offer so many benefits for us) I still feel that
it should be within certain degree or extent.(I still believe it should be restricted .) As we know, everything is a double-bladed paddle (double-edged sword), including playing computer games. What we should do is to tell the children how to use time effectively and how to get what they need by playing computer games, instead of forbidding them from playing.

奔跑蜗牛UID: 2579189

Nowadays computers have already come into many families. Most children play games on computers during their free time. Some of them may play games day and night. But should we forbid every child from playing computer games because of this? I don’t hold this idea. 段尾明确提出论点，很好

E- e* ~2 s) ]
First of all, it is the time for the children to play since they are children（这句想说什么，from childrenhood or when they are children）.If a child reads books or does homework all the time without relaxing, he or she will become introverted gradually, which will make them hard to communicate with others when they grow up. I often see parents send their children to learn this or that such as piano or painting and so on(some children are forced to learn ……according to their parents’ arrangements). It takes much time and their much money while playing costs much less money and provides more fun.(后面这个例子要说明什么？？两者对比吗？但是没有明确的总结对比啊，然后说明优势)

K* w* e' I; S0 |
Now that it’s the time for children to play, then what should they play? I think it depends on the decades of the century. On the ages when our parents were children they really had seldom but things like tops to spin or hoops to twirl. When we were children, only some rich families could afford computer, and therefore few of us had played computer games at that time. Most times we played toys or did sports. But now many families have had computers. It is electronic era now, so as a matter of fact computer games have become the main entertainment for the children. Someone will argue that playing computer games wastes much time. But what if we can get much from it? Can we also consider it as wasting time? Playing computer games usually expands our knowledge subconsciously.（这里才开始进入正题） For example, when we play Uncharted Water, which is a computer game about voyage and trade, it helps us be more familiar with our Earth. Besides, we must make decisions immediately while playing games, which improve our capacity of reacting. Furthermore, we can make many friends while playing online.（这段前面的渲染太多，论点藏在了后面，建议尽量在段首就有明确论点）


y& d+ L0 d! J' l
Of course children have many other choices to relax such as doing sports or watching movies. On the other hand, despite the fact that I am for that playing computer games can offer so many benefits for us, I still feel that
it should be within certain degree or extent. As we know, everything is a double-bladed paddle, including playing computer games. What we should do is to tell the children how to use time effectively（effective use of time） and how to get what they need by playing computer games, instead of forbidding them from playing.

天泽UID: 2340391

谢谢ls两位朋友哈~我语句词汇都不行，写的时候脑中很空。而且想法ms也太简单了，例子也不够，以后还得努力呵~

回minic：But what if we can get much from it? Can we also consider it as wasting time?我想说如果我们能得到好处的话还能认为这是种浪费时间么？不过好像表达挺别扭的。

回奔跑的蜗牛：since they are children我想说既然是孩子这个时间就应该是拿来玩的。不知道这么表达有没有问题。