【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】2.5号作业 byspringzlr-87楼

springzlrUID: 2591464

The professor raises serious counterarguments against the reading passage. He provides different evidence from various aspects on privatized spaceflight industry will not bring benefits to both science and the public.

    Firstly, the professor argues that the cost of private space travel will be extrodinary expensive like it stays that way. He gives some examples as the control system and the development and  operation system. All the systems will not be cheaper. What's more,for its saftey condition, the machine need to be tested and retested. So the tickets will not go down fast as what the passage says.

    Secondly, while the writer suggests that privatization of space travel will accelerate the scientific discoveries rate. The professor opposes the claim, proposing that it will delay your present discoveries, and if commerce is lack of scientific value, it will also prevent the whole system.

    Thirdly, the author provides an explanation that the cost will be paid for by the whole taxpaying public, which the professor suspects with the proof that there no chance to accomplish as the reading passage. It will pay more tax, then will lead to be nonsignificence.

大伙一块傻UID: 2557169

最后加个总结段吧~
文章中的三点基本上都是lecture里的内容~reading passage 很少提到~我觉得这点不太好~应该多对比一下~！！

arlenezxyUID: 2487145

1# springzlr

The professor raises serious counterarguments against the reading passage. He provides different evidence from various aspects on privatized spaceflight industry will not bring benefits to both science and the public.

Firstly, the professor argues that the cost of private space travel will be extrodinary (extraordinary) expensive like it stays that way. He gives some examples as the control system and the development and operation system. All the systems will not be cheaper. What's more, for its saftey (safety) condition, the machine need to be tested and retested. So the tickets will not go down fast as what the passage says.

Secondly, while the writer suggests that privatization of space travel will accelerate the scientific discoveries rate. The professor opposes the claim, proposing (propose 用在这不是很合适,换一个,譬如contend)
that it will delay your ( you 是谁?) present discoveries, and if commerce is lack of scientific value, it will also prevent the whole system.

Thirdly, the author provides an explanation that the cost will be paid for by the whole taxpaying public, which the professor suspects with the proof that there ( is ) no chance to accomplish as the reading passage. It will pay more tax, (and) then will lead to be nonsignificence (insignificant).
总的来说文章几个要点都齐了,语句也很顺畅。不过最后一段阐述的不是很清楚，漏了一个要点是发展私人航天飞行要建很多设施，这些钱私人投资者根本付不起，还是需要老百姓通过税收的方式来买单。两句句子似乎都有语法错误。多多练习，一起加油！

springzlrUID: 2591464

3# arlenezxy


呵呵，谢谢啦！很中肯哦：）一同进步！！