argument6 [gter三月机考作文小组第四次作业]

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argument 6
The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

“A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe’s jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is ‘Jazz Nightly,’ which airs every weeknight. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. It is clear that the C Note cannot help but make money.”
The writer of this application concludes that to hold a music club in M (Monroe) will be a profitable enterprise. To bolster the conclusion, the writer cites that the club will have the local market in M, in addition, jazz is extremely popular in M, and furthermore, a nationwide study indicate that the typical jazz fan spends nearly $1000 per year on jazz entertainment. It seems reasonable at the first glance, however, carefully scrutiny of these reasons reveal it is unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the writer asserts the club in M will possess the local market while he fails to take other factors into account. As is known to us all, the transportation now is so convenient that 65 miles is not a very long distance. If the condition there is more comfortable or the expedition there is much cheaper than M' club, it is entirely possible that the consumer will choose the adjacent club rather than CN (C Note).So just based on the distance cannot deduce CN will possess the local market.

At the second place, the saying that jazz is extremely popular in M is open to doubt. 100000 people attending the last summer's M's jazz festival is not means jazz is popular in M. Maybe large parts of the people come from other districts. Or thanks to it is the festival that people attend just want to experience this phenomenon. On the other hand, several famous jazz musician live there has anything whatsoever to do with the popularity in M. Perhaps their homes are in M.

At last but not the least, A nationwide study cannot stand by the situation in M. It is possible that the typical fans in M will not spend so much money in jazz entertainment. Maybe they are insufficient to afford the bill. Even assuming the typical jazz fan in M spend $1000 per year on jazz, there are no statistics on how many typical fans there are in M. If there are just several typical fans, this will do little help to the profits. Given that plenty of typical fans there, the money for jazz entertainment may not be spent in CN. Perhaps they organize some activities which need lots of money. Therefore the typical fans may cannot help make money.

All in all, the write provide a weak argument. To strength it, more information upon the two jazz club and the typical fans, the reason why the jazz is popular in M should be supplied by the writer.
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