【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】2.12号作业 by cmj

ddcmj519UID：176326

2、In university, students should take the history courses no matter what field they study in.
恐怕是偶有史以来最糟糕作文。。想死。。。狠拍之吧。。。我自己写的都想吐。。。。。。。
总之同学辛苦了。。万分感谢啊~~

Some college students, who now pay most of their attention on job selection and a more enjoyable life, usually take the history course a waste of time as they hold the opinion that the history is nothing more than out of date. The significance of history course should, as far as I am concerned, be hanged over our heads all over the time, and no matter what field they study in, history course should always be as important as their major ones.

First of all, history is what flows everywhere in students’ daily life. For example, a student may refer history by chatting about anecdotes of the past, by using idioms contains certain historical story, or by doing something as ancestors did. History is actually built up on the foundation of culture, thus no one can seriously say that he or she lives without history. Through the history course, much more is spread rather than those stories of the past. The culture rooted in stories is then taken in by many. In the background of international economic, it is just the culture makes one unique.

What’s more, history provides much experience for students to apply in the future. As it is said that better results come when one learn the best of self, I can conclude that, in today’s international environment, if students, who are to undertake the responsibility for the future, can not even learn from the historical lessons are surely to pay more in their way to success. Besides, learning form the origin can let students know the up and down of the society and offer a way to predict.

In all, history course broadens student’s view into the fourth dimension of time, enhances their moral beauty to a cultured standard, and marks the wrong direction in their future work. That is to say, if the knowledge of their major is the paddle of a boat, then history knowledge will be their compass, leading to the destination all the time.

ddcmj519UID：176326

1、        High schools, universities and colleges should spend less time teaching about general subjects and spend more time teaching about preparing for future career and job
No, school is not a machine to produce job-suiters.
1  1st 2nd year of college will be the golden time to take in knowledge. And also time provided to let them choose their future, research or work. Bill Gates, left the college when senior. If no foundation of general subjects, how can he decided to make up his own career?
2  later, students get to know their own position in the society, those will work will find info and ask for advice from their teacher still others choose further study. Or there will not be so many professors working all day on their projects and make scientific progress but know little about job selection.



2、University students should be required to take basic science classes even they are not part of the field of the study
Yes,
1.        basic science are what applied to major. Maths---geophysics.
2.        Boarder students view. E.g. history.

roinyouUID：2447501

条理和结构还是比较清晰的，观点也很明确
展开可以加一些，比如，第二点证据，对将来有帮助，第二句很长，但是只是概括的说如果没有学过历史，将来会很费劲，展开还是比较概括性的，不过可以建议把后面帮助predict的那部分展开一下。
语言上面基本没有歧义或者不顺畅的表达，不过还是有一些小错误的，应该也不会产生太大影响。
拍的不好，多多指正，祝你成功！

Some college students, who now pay most of their attention on job selection and a more enjoyable life, usually take the history course a waste of time as they hold the opinion that the history is nothing more than out of date. The significance of history course should, as far as I am concerned, be hanged over our heads all over the time, and no matter what field they study in, history course should always be as important as their major ones.0 V' E# Q8 v" @5 |5 T6 Z# t
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First of all, history is what flows everywhere in students’ daily life. For example, a student may refer history by chatting about anecdotes of the past, by using idioms (which) contains certain historical story, or by doing something (following the custom好些) as ancestors did. History is actually built up on the foundation of culture, thus no one can seriously say that he or she lives without history. Through the history course, much more is spread rather than those stories of the past(much more？还是more much **，如果是**，那指代什么？). The culture rooted in stories is then taken in by many. In the background of international economic (in the international economic backgound吧，还是economic后面还有词语？), it is just the culture makes one unique.
What’s more, history provides much experience for students to apply in the future. As it is said that better results come when one learn the best of self, I can conclude that, in today’s international environment, if students, who are to undertake the responsibility for the future, can not even learn (have not even learned) from the historical lessons are surely to pay more in their way to success. Besides, learning form the origin can let students know the up and down (用法不对，every level吧) of the society and offer a way to predict(这句话可以展开一些).
In all, history course broadens student’s view into the fourth dimension of time, and enhances their moral beauty to a cultured standard(from.. to..？没有看懂), and marks the wrong direction in their future work. That is to say, if the knowledge of their major is the paddle of a boat, then history knowledge will be their compass, leading to the destination all the time.

ibt9.12UID：2581152

觉得可以在展开点~
两点不太够用的
另外论点一二可以再明确一点，不然看起来有点交叉~
language ls改过了。偶就不改了
加油 fighting

ddcmj519UID：176326

额。。我觉得。。
我木有写例子啊。！！！
展开完全是瞎写。。一写campus就死。。

ddcmj519UID：176326

谢谢两位大人，我回头再改改。