自己的倒计时：以issue36开始

wuziqing1498UID: 2457562

还有6天考，这几天的任务是改以前的文章，有的是别人改过的，然后是自己改，都是很大的改动，改到自己满意为止的，发上来，对自己做个监督，也希望大家一起交流，相互提点建议。因为自己时间紧迫，只能在我考完后才能以泉报了。到时大家可以找我哦。
TOPIC: ISSUE36 - "The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."
WORDS:637          TIME:         DATE:
总体感觉还是立意较浅，不知有人有高见。
No matter in a history book or in our real day lives, large quantities of individual comes to our mind with their greatness controversial, you may find dramastically different evaluations from universally accepted or hardly approved if interviewing people in various times.  Then comes the question: who can better decide one’s true value, Is it his/her contemporaries or those living after the very time he/she was?  The author suggests the latter ones while I am afraid there is no easy answer for it with regards to numerous fields they were studying as well as the surrounding around them.

First of all, I want to define the word “greatness” in exact field he or she were in pursuit of rather than evaluation of achievement in alternative field or irrelevant personal matters imposed by the commenter. Here we are trying to figure out a relatively objective decision of someone one free of judges’ limitation in horizons and preference in personality types.
It is easy to decide someone in certain circumstances while quite another thing in others.
In realms such as business, athetics, politics, when the criteria about who is succeed are apparent: a most renowned high-profit corporation envied by most ones, a broken record without transcending rules, an effective policy benefiting generations. You can easily realize a person's outstanding talents when he solved the qualms haunting his fellows: Heisenberg's essays formulating the quantum mechanics, game theory applied to economics by John Nash, the thought of optical fibers put forward by Gao Kun and so on. Their breakthrough and discoveries can be so distinguished that the society, at least the relevant areas, are shocked by them and immediately benefit from their deeds either in theory or practice. With materials and spiritual satisfaction brought by them, it is easy for anyone, either contemporaries or descendants to tell them apart from normal ones.
（这段会不举的例子太多了，因为没计时，觉得要这样写下来，会时间很长）
But the people who take in other establishments are not so "fortunate": It might take time for people to really understand their greatness and even longer to bring profits to the world. In these cases, it might be better for the descendents to make the judgment.

Arts, for example, mostly giving people pleasure and satisfy their emotional needs, sometimes is hard to identify its value. Simply from the money produced by them and their catering to popular views, we can not rashly sentence its compositions to death. Several artist such as Van Gohn and Beethoven, （其实这两例子不想用的，只是写时就蹦出来了，也没有别的好的了，就没改了）whose generic or inner deep feeling fail to be realized by the contemporaries, but respected and appreciated by thousands and millions people in their posthumous world. We cannot blame the former ones for failure in recognition but the intrinsic insight and perspective conveyed by their works. Standing this, if someone are chosen to decide their greatness, can you expect her or him to make so advanced a prediction that they would be destined to be great sometime in the future?

Also, some magical works may be restricted or berried by other factors such as religion, governmental policy as well as the circumstance of the person who made the works. We could trace back to when the insisters are struggling to their conviction and sticking to the truth even under forces, powers and dangers threatening their lives. Due to their endeavors and perseverance, we humans now are living a much convenient and comfortable life.  Even if he or she misses the time praising themselves, we still have to compensate and award him or her and more generation will follow them contributing a better world.
回到题目：
After all these analysis, we may conclude that aiming at the objective judgment, we had better reexamine ourselves first: Am I qualified enough to make a judgment especially those calling for expertise? Did I take into consideration of the host’s background? Probably, that would matter more than which time we are in.
最后把评论者加到自己的身上，会否太突兀？

wanfang36UID: 2500278

其实我才刚刚开始练习，读了楼主的觉得自己还差的挺多的……
也冒昧的改一下，改的不对的麻烦楼主再指点一下~~
（另外，不知道怎么发信给你诶，我想看一下你帮我改的那篇）

先说一个小事儿，觉得楼主在贴帖子之前最好放在word上把拼写什么的都自己改一下~~

No matter in a history book or in our real day lives, large quantities of individual comes to our mind with their greatness controversial, you may find dramastically different evaluations from universally accepted or hardly approved if interviewing people in various times.  Then comes the question: who can better decide one’s true value, Is it his/her contemporaries or those living after the very time he/she was?  The author suggests the latter ones while I am afraid there is no easy answer for it with regards to numerous fields they were studying as well as the surrounding around them.

First of all, I want to define the word “greatness” in exact field he or she were in pursuit of rather than evaluation of achievement in alternative field or irrelevant personal matters imposed by the commenter. Here we are trying to figure out a relatively objective decision of someone one free of judges’ limitation in horizons and preference in personality types.
It is easy to decide someone in certain circumstances while quite another thing in others.
In realms such as business, athetics, politics, when the criteria about who is succeed are apparent: a most renowned high-profit corporation envied by most ones, a broken record without transcending rules, an effective policy benefiting generations这个generation有点由后代评论的嫌疑. You can easily realize a person's outstanding talents when he solved the qualms haunting his fellows: Heisenberg's essays formulating the quantum mechanics, game theory applied to economics by John Nash, the thought of optical fibers put forward by Gao Kun and so on. Their breakthrough and discoveries can be so distinguished that the society, at least the relevant areas, are shocked by them and immediately benefit from their deeds either in theory or practice. With materials and spiritual satisfaction brought by them, it is easy for anyone, either contemporaries or descendants to tell them apart from normal ones.
这里论证很充分，跟作者学习了
But the people who take in other establishments are not so "fortunate": It might take time for people to really understand their greatness and even longer to bring profits to the world. In these cases, it might be better这个地方为什么是better呢？ for the descendents to make the judgment.

Arts, for example, mostly giving people pleasure and satisfy their emotional needs, sometimes is hard to identify its value. Simply from the money produced by them and their catering to popular views, we can not rashly sentence its compositions to death. Several artist such as Van Gohn and Beethoven, whose generic or inner deep feeling fail to be realized by the contemporaries, but respected and appreciated by thousands and millions people in their posthumous world. We cannot blame the former ones for failure in recognition but the intrinsic insight and perspective conveyed by their works.好句 Standing this, if someone are chosen to decide their greatness, can you expect her or him to make so advanced a prediction that they would be destined to be great sometime in the future?这里对例子的分析似乎不太充分，感觉例子和结论之前缺了点说理，作者已经点出了不被认可的原因，最好多论述一下

Also, some magical works may be restricted or berried这个词的用法我不是很熟悉，查字典也没查到，楼主能告诉我一下么？ by other factors such as religion, governmental policy as well as the circumstance of the person who made the works. We could trace back to when the insisters are struggling to their conviction and sticking to the truth even under forces, powers and dangers threatening their lives. Due to their endeavors and perseverance, we humans now are living a much convenient and comfortable life.  Even if he or she misses the time praising themselves, we still have to compensate and award him or her and more generation will follow them contributing a better world.这段角度挺独特的，如果能在Due to之前举个例子就更好了

After all these analysis, we may conclude that aiming at the objective judgment, we had better reexamine ourselves first: Am I qualified enough to make a judgment especially those calling for expertise? Did I take into consideration of the host’s background? Probably, that would matter more than which time we are in.感觉最后一段还是把题目中的时间对比总结一下更好，不要只说什么样的人有资格做评论

作者好多语言都用得好华丽呀~~

wanfang36UID: 2500278

我也有一个同主题的，如果楼主不嫌麻烦就再帮我看一篇吧~
http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=922426&extra=

对了，上次那个168是北京高频，你在哪儿考？

wanfang36UID: 2500278

红的都是我很喜欢的~

wuziqing1498UID: 2457562

这篇是我迄今最满意的也改过最多遍了，希望大家提提建议哦。
Issue26
Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record of any society’s past, but controversy arises when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purpose. In such situations, modern development should be given precedence over the preservation (of historic buildings so that contemporary needs can be served.

To decide how the ground occupied by old buildings can be best used, we had better first of all figure out contemporary needs, which might be limited to the replacement of modern building by others holding controversial idea. The relevant needs, in my opinion, require all-cross consideration ranging from the developed usage of old ones to the potential development after tearing them down.
In my opinion, when considering which to give the precedence, the determing criteria should be set in how we can best use the land and consequently benefit more from it, according to my understanding of contemporary needs. Since the uncertainty of replaced new one, I will start the comparison with the traditional houses.
Therefore, I agree with the speaker’s description of building remains as a precious record of past, which according to my knowledge, reflects history including ideas and preferences at least of the house designer, the style and form popular or ignored at that time as well as a reminder of significant historical events. Buildings in Tianjing province of China left by the foreign predators in the eighteenth century can illustrate the point well. At the sight of them, we remember the time when Chinese was at the mercy of other stronger countries and which consequently encourages us to make our decisions of struggling for the prosperity of China. Also, different styles and ideas from that of our local ones entitle those houses a value of appreciation and learning. You may find yourself broaden the horizons instead of limiting to the alternatively monotonous and unaltered thought. Sometimes we even regard visiting those constructions as a traveling part and those learning majoring in designing houses and cultures can always attain aspiration through making a deep research into them. With regards to all these apparent functions, how can one insist the winner is always the future alternative one with the imagination regardless of the possible interrupt factors?

one might argue that the advantages I mentioned above only go with some buildings while most are the cases that they are silent with no people visiting. Absolutely right, then comes to the question, what the modern planners indeed should do? Tearing down all of them without further investigation? Or will be the modern needs satisfied better with some detailed information revealled? The common sense give us examples of thrive after developed. Development like promotion and advertisement widen the realization of their presence is far better than leaving them alone or only having several historians studying for their possible function. As the prestige grows, the foregoing advantages will be found out and taken of or produced if undeveloped. Measures can be taken according to respective ones such as opening certain courses appreciating from the foreign building in schools, changing their surrounding environment so that traveling industry can boom there, which on the (other) hand bring profits to the country. Comparing with the unguaranteed benefits of using the ground with wholly different ways, Do you think you can expect more from the simple added action?

So as a modern planner, instead of regarding the traditional building as a block of meeting contemporary requirement, should do more investigation about them so that right decision can be made, investigations made according to their features and underling. For the sake of all living humans, Those Investigations should be not only from historians, but also psychologists, investors, connoisseurs and so on. Ideas of the customer and at-school learners should also be taken into account. Only through all this action, will they determine how to copy with the historical buildings.

undoubtly, we cannot neglect the limitation of the findings although they are put forward by mixed wisdoms and ideas, for mistakes about leaving out some deeply-hidden potential may be made since we humans are imperfect, which is a fact we can never alter. The only thing we can alter is to try our best to make a decision as comprehensible as possible so that complaint from people of all inquiry will be decreased to the minimum.

wuziqing1498UID: 2457562

【09年2月-3月GRE作文冲刺组】3月1日作业
实在不想再改了，难的不是现在写新的文章，难的是改以前的文章，神，杀了我吧
TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
WORDS: 507          TIME:          DATE:
I agree on the over-emphasis on individuals due to pragmatic factors against the complexities of history. But as the history books go like this, it owes to the readers when they fail to tell apart the respective function of leaders and the masses. Simply after a brief look of the history one might conclude the very person guiding the records which a scrutiny of any times in human civilization could lead to a proper attitude towards groups of people, who although can not be named in detail, always determine the tendency the society would go.

Then there comes the job of the history worker. In order to lead appropriate stress on the thousands of common people, should they write all their names down, keep a record of their lives and analysis their personalities one by one, as they do with the leaders? Can you imagine how thick a history book would be as a result? Moreover, even without noting literally, we can easily summarize about people as groups: eager for freedom, truth, equity and all necessary leading to a easy and carefree life. They demonstrate when their right are threatened, they call for respect if discriminated, they demand changes when disadvantages are realized. Under the guidance of human nature, the body of society, the common people, predominate in all human history.

Another reason for the stress on the individuals goes with the function of history. Aside from the aforementioned conviction of people’s position, history acts as a reference for the posthumous people. Little can be done even a sense of cooperation and unity as a single. But the case changes if we learn something from individuals. Each crucial person, in the absence of who the history would be totally different or at least not so drastically written, possess something worthy of learning. Chairman Mao inspired us that brevity and charm are substantial to be a leader while the secondary chairman Denxiaoping taught us to be creative and tolerant when he put forward One Country Two Systems. Then we were exposed to the Three Represents by President Jiang and now the view of scientific development by Hujingtao.

Granting that most historians endeavor to do an excellent job as a teller, we can not neglect the existence of scholars of history who show too much respect to certain persons regardless of his/her shortcomings and the assistance of its people. As a response, neglect and blame should be paid to them after an objective and critical judgment. Holding the idea that everybody is far from perfect and is entitled to make mistakes, readers might find out that comparing to the majority, an individual is under censorship and needs suggestions and corrections all the time.

So the emphasis on individual does not imply the overlooking the function of the people but for its feasibility. Also for those who paid too much attention to the individuals' contribution, a balance should be made with the significance of people who give chances to The individuals and make it possible for them to act out.

wuziqing1498UID: 2457562

feedback to @#wangfang
有一个大疑问是，鉴于时间的关系，不能每个段落都论证得很充分哪，那只能有详有略了啊。不知你怎么处理详略的，我只是不举例了。

berriar 那个我原想定barriered 的，但查了一下，好像不能作动词，改为impede.
better那句 改为In these cases, it might be better for the descendents to make the judgment rather than anybody.
对于其它的意见我都很赞成，谢谢了。

wuziqing1498UID: 2457562

【09GRE作文冲刺组】3月1日作业argument35
35The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.

"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."


The author makes a prediction about the future decline based on the assumption that salicylates could decrease headaches and its use would be larger. However, simply with the reasoning and evidence offered by the author, I am afraid he or she need more work to be done.



The most serious assumption open to question is that what is the relationship between salicylate and the headaches amounts. Although sharing the family with aspirin, no information about their other detailed features are mentioned. Perhaps though due to the tiny difference in atomic compositions or chemical structures, salicylate and aspirin has drastically distinct action to the headache, say one curing and another severing. (是不是该项写得详细些而不是概括性可能性的词呢)In addition, the author tried to convince its helpfulness insufficiently: First, the author intended to rule out its potential damage by naming the natural rishness and previous commercial use. However, Is there any change in quality from the natural salicylates to the business ones acted as preservatives. Also we do not know the side-effect of the preservatives yet, not to mention its effects with headaches.



The study cited was not sound either for the lack of further analysis. the crucial word “correlate” does not stand for the cause and effect. Though coinciding in the same twenty years, the reported decline in headaches might only have little to do with the consumption of salicylates. We can imagine that improved living standard, better tablets prescribed all contributed to the falling numbers. Another faults lies with the “reported” result, if the number is counted by the patient itself, it might be an ambiguous and aberrant statistic. The author provided with no exact numbers and we have no idea of the amplitude of each. How about the personal errors leading to small-scale fluctuation of final results?

In the way to his/her forecast, the probably wrong application of companies finding might impede too. Granting the additional roles is put forward, no inference points to certain actions. Possibilities are that the companies fail in the trials for the relevant food are not popular or even potentially harmful to health. Even if the food is proved wholesome, how about its market share? What if it only be purchased by small proportion of citizens? Whether the decline is eminent should be consequently throw light upon.

After all these analysis, the author had better solve the aforementioned fallacies before the study is accepted and appreciated by most people.

没限时。写作遇到的问题：
发现写不下去两种解释1，作者不可理喻2，我思路逻辑混乱。相信后者吧，否则写不下去
字数太多了，想的太慢了，估计考试写不完，可不知哪里可以删或者节省时间

wanfang36UID: 2500278

是不是论坛格式的问题，我觉得作者有几段之间没空行……

To decide how the ground occupied by old buildings can be best used, we had better first of all figure out contemporary needs, which might be limited to the replacement of modern building by others holding controversial idea. The relevant needs, in my opinion, require all-cross consideration ranging from the developed usage of old ones to the potential development after tearing them down.
In my opinion, when considering which to give the precedence, the determing criteria should be set in how we can best use the land and consequently benefit more from it, according to my understanding of contemporary needs. Since the uncertainty of replaced new one, I will start the comparison with the traditional houses.这两段特有思辨色彩，好喜欢~~
Therefore好像没什么因果关系, I agree with the speaker’s description of building remains as a precious record of past, which according to my knowledge, reflects history including ideas and preferences好像和下文联系不上 at least of the house designer, the style and form popular or ignored at that time as well as a reminder of significant historical events. Buildings in Tianjing province of China left by the foreign predators in the eighteenth century can illustrate the point well. At the sight of them, we remember the time when Chinese was at the mercy of other stronger countries and which consequently encourages us to make our decisions of struggling for the prosperity of China. 例子很新颖，论述也超充分的Also, different styles and ideas from that of our local ones entitle those houses a value of appreciation and learning. You may find yourself broaden the horizons instead of limiting to the alternatively monotonous and unaltered thought. Sometimes we even regard visiting those constructions as a traveling part and those learning majoring in designing houses and cultures can always attain aspiration through making a deep research into them. With regards to all these apparent functions, how can one insist the winner is always the future alternative one with the imagination regardless of the possible interrupt factors?

One might argue that the advantages I mentioned above only go with some buildings while most are the cases that they are silent with no people visiting. Absolutely right, then comes to the question, what the modern planners indeed should do? Tearing down all of them without further investigation? Or will be the modern needs satisfied better with some detailed information revealled? The common sense give us examples of thrive after developed. Development like promotion and advertisement widen the realization of their presence is far better than leaving them alone or only having several historians studying for their possible function. As the prestige grows, the foregoing advantages will be found out and taken of or produced if undeveloped. Measures can be taken according to respective ones such as opening certain courses appreciating from the foreign building in schools, changing their surrounding environment so that traveling industry can boom there, which on the (other) hand bring profits to the country. Comparing with the unguaranteed benefits of using the ground with wholly different ways, Do这个应该是don't吧？ you think you can expect more from the simple added action?
我觉得这段开头可以加更多连接词，据说判卷老师比较喜欢……比如改成“然而（很多老房子都没人理……），诚然（这说的很对……），但是（难道我们就能……？……？……）Common sense……”
So as a modern planner, instead of regarding the traditional building as a block of meeting contemporary requirement, should do more investigation about them so that right decision can be made, investigations made according to their features and underling. For the sake of all living humans, Those Investigations should be not only from historians, but also psychologists, investors, connoisseurs个人觉得先说鉴赏家和投资人好一点，我就一下没看出来心理学家的关联性 and so on. Ideas of the customer and at-school learners should also be taken into account. Only through all this action, will they determine how to copy with the historical buildings.

Undoubtly, we cannot neglect the limitation of the findings although they are put forward by mixed wisdoms and ideas, for mistakes about leaving out some deeply-hidden potential may be made since we humans are imperfect, which is a fact we can never alter. The only thing we can alter is to try our best to make a decision as comprehensible as possible so that complaint from people of all inquiry will be decreased to the minimum.

作者的思路很新颖独特，我觉得这是最可贵的了~~

又很冒昧的改了一下，不对的再告诉我一下哦~~

wuziqing1498UID: 2457562

feedbact to the upstairs .
我这里的角度出发是对于古建筑这个资源最有效地利用上。
对于历史的描述我是最晕的。在这里“history including ideas and preferences好像和下文联系不上 at least of the house designer, the style and form popular or ignored at that time as well as a reminder of significant historical events.”是从个人的思想，到社会的流行形式，到对当时朝代的刻录，把ideas and preference改成penchant and repulse.表示喜恶与后面的造型选择对应不知易理解不。。。。。
还没写完，眼睛累了，明天再继续吧

wuziqing1498UID: 2457562

TOPIC: ARGUMENT7 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.

"In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."
WORDS: 472          TIME: 00:47:00          DATE: 2009-2-19 19:02:32

By claiming and giving evidence trying to prove that members of the Clearview town council can (do) little about the environment, the author advise to elect Ann Green from other organization in order to have environmental problems solved. However, without knowing the exact behavior of Ann Green and Frank Braun, I am afraid we could not make a right choice between them two.

First of all, the author did not give out sound reasoning and examples to prove that members in council are not excellent enough. First, doubling factories does not mean anything about the members especially if they can aim at improving the whole council's economy and having tried their best to make relevant rules and restriction environmental-friendly. According to our common sense, it is hardly possible for a developing city to promote industry without deteriorating the environment at all. Therefore, it is more appropriate that the pertinent members should be praised rather than disparaged is better for they identified a broader picture. Also, the increasing seriousness of air problem can also be possibly caused by transportation tools instead of the factories. Can you blame more frequent usage of vehicles coinciding with improved economics for the factory’s outnumbering? How about the “acerbated” respiratory conditions? Was there any huge change in demographic statistics last year? Are all the patients all local ones? How about the rise adding up with the foreign comers? Or have any epidemic or terrorism stroke the city which caused respiratory diseases as a consequence?

And Even though the council might experience harder air pollution, when deciding whether to cast the ballots to Frank, it may be indicative how his/her pertinent council perform before], but what matters the most is what they are trying to do and what they plan to do. As a single follower or subordinate, a member could not take advantage of all his/ her talents and take direct measures literally and exactly according to his or her perspectives, that, however, determines that we could not judge a member simply by the organization's performance but the holistic performance of himself/herself.

What is more, by replacing Frank Braun with Ann Green, the author provide none comparison of them but decide only based on the situation in Clearview town, which, indeed, require a more competent leader to guide the people and take appropriate actions. Perhaps Ann Green are no better than Frank Braun: we have no idea of what ideas he or she hold towards the air pollution as well as the factory thing. What if he or she are at a loss which measures to take and do nothing but harmful actions to the counsil. Also the author insist the members are responsible for the undergoing problems, How about the parallel happening in Ann Green, maybe the circumstance would be worse, perhaps the people there even suffered from hunger and harsh weather.

After all this analysis, for the sake of electing the most suitable candidate for the Clearview, particularized comparison should be make between these two such as a scrutiny of their personality and ability. Any rash conclusion might results in continuing and even worse situations.
把今天处理过的它也贴上吧，A写的少，I还有很多没改完，I一改容易发呆，A就稍好些，能发现自己迷糊的地方。